Diving In Together
by mangotango101
Summary: After dismantling the dirty bomb, Kate returns to Josh. Castle's and Beckett's partnership/friendship is put to the test. Will it bring them closer than ever, or ruin what they have permanently? The will end up together, don't worry. Kate doesn't get shot
1. Chapter 1

**Hi everyone! I recently got very, very, VERY obsessed with Castle, so I decided that I want to write a Castle fanfic. To be honest, I have four ideas running around in my head and three in the works, so expect some Castle goodness from me in the near future. This is my first, so be nice.**

**I was watching Setup and Countdown today and felt that this needed to be written. Unlike other stories that I've seen like this one, I'm not having Josh out of the picture in the first chapter. Trust me, I hate him as much as the next person, but I feel that Kate wouldn't be so quick to pushing him to the curb, especially after he didn't go to Haiti. Unfortunately, he'll be here for a couple chapters.**

**Also...this will be AU after Setup and Countdown, simply because I don't really want to deal with everything that happens in the To Love and Die in LA and Knockout. Sorry! (Who's excited for September 19th?)**

**While most of my other Castle fics that I have in my head are case based, this one will be fluffy, with little case involvement. I will try to keep it as in character as possible. Also, I know now that I will probably end it when they get together - sorry folks who like Castle and Beckett married or with children, but I can't imagine them like that - hell, I can hardly imagine them _together_. So...I feel that I've rambled enough, so without further ado, I give you the first chapter of my new story.**

**Disclaimer: I am the proud owner of Castle Season 1 DVD and _Heat Wave_, but I do not own Castle or any of the characters. They belong to Andrew W Marlowe and ABC. No copyright infringement intended.**

**Chapter 1**

Kate unlocked the door of her apartment. Her day had been crazy. No, that would be an understatement. In the course of little over 24 hours, she had been exposed to high levels of radiation, nearly frozen to death, and faced a dirty bomb as the counter counted down from 00:01:51. Every muscle ached and she still had an oppressive cold feeling deep in her bones. Her head felt as though someone was pushing on the inside of her eyes. All she wanted to do was curl up in a ball and sleep.

"What do you want to do tonight?" asked Josh. She had forgotten he was there, watching her open her apartment.

"I kind of just want to go to sleep," she answered wearily.

"Come on, I didn't go to Haiti for you. Can we at least watch a movie?" He attempted to pull her into his arms. She fought away, feeling suffocated.

"No Josh, I just want to take a warm bath and go to sleep."

"Fine," he said, raising his arms in the universal sign for 'I'm innocent'. "Go take a bath; I'll be here when you get out."

Kate was too tired to fight. She didn't want him there. She wanted to be alone. No, she wanted to be with—

_Stop it, Kate! You can't be thinking that. Josh came back because of you. You owe it to him to give him a chance._

Kate sighed heavily. She drew a hot bath and poured in the cherry scented bubble bath. She lit the candles and slid into the enveloping warmth. It was the first time she had felt warm since before they got stuck in the freezer – except when she gave him a hug after he diffused the bomb.

She refused to think his name. She knew that if she did, then all thoughts of possibly fixing things with Josh would be thrown out the window. Rather than continuing to dwell on her near death experiences of the day, she focused on inhaling and exhaling. Kate closed her eyes, rested her head on the tub and before she knew it, she was asleep.

A knocking on the door jerked her awake. She cursed silently when she heard the distinct sloshing of water as it hit the tile.

"Kate, are you okay?" called a voice.

"What? Yeah, I'm fine. I just fell asleep. I'll be out in a minute," she called back. She listened as the footsteps retreated. The water had gone cold, so she stepped out and wrapped herself in a fluffy white towel. She dried her hair the best she could and stepped into her bedroom.

"Hi sweetie," said a voice from her bed.

"Josh!" she cried, nearly dropping the towel. "What are you doing here?"

"I said I'd be waiting for you when got out," he said, as if it were the most obvious thing.

"Yeah, waiting out _there_," she said, getting angrier by the minute. "Not in my _bedroom_."

"Katie," he began.

"No. Go wait in the living room. I'll be out in a minute."

She turned her back to him while he sulked out. Kate let out a large puff of air, trying to collect herself. She pulled on a pair of sweats and an old NYPD t-shirt with a sweatshirt that used to be her mother's. She rubbed her hair one more time and put it up in a messy bun. She put on her mother's ring and her father's watch, knowing that she'd need their support for the inevitable fight waiting for her on the other side of her door.

Right as she was reaching for the door knob, her phone buzzed. She knew it wasn't the precinct – Montgomery had given them all the next day off. And for the rest of the week, they were on call, only having to go into the precinct if a body dropped and all three of the other homicide teams were working on cases.

Kate looked at the ID and saw that Castle had texted her. She opened her phone and read his text.

_Hope you're drinking some hot cocoa. I am. Stay warm and sweet dreams. Don't forget that you can call me if you have trouble sleeping or just need someone to talk to. –RC_

She smiled to herself, gently biting on her thumb nail. It was a bad habit that she developed when she was a teenager, and no matter what her parents did, she couldn't break it. She snapped open the keyboard and sent a quick reply.

_I'm going to make some now. Thanks for everything. –KB_

Almost instantly, her phone buzzed.

_No problem. Sleep tight. –RC_

She sat on her bed, mentally preparing herself for whatever was waiting.

* * *

><p>"Kate, is everything okay?" Josh asked, rushing to her as soon as she walked out of her room.<p>

"Everything's fine," she said, not quite meeting his eyes. He tried to stand in her way, but she pushed by him to get to the kitchen. She really wanted that hot cocoa.

"Don't lie to me, Kate. I know something happened today. You're different tonight." He turned to follow her through her apartment.

"And what's that supposed to mean?" she asked, rounding on him.

"It means that I know your job takes a toll on you, but honestly Katie, this is worse than usual. What was so special about this case?"

She covered her face with her hands, praying for patience. "Josh, I can't deal with this now. I had a really long and tough day. Can we talk about this tomorrow?"

"No, Kate, we can't. You're always running. I know nothing about your work, other than the fact that you're a cop, you have crazy hours, and it takes an emotional and physical toll on you sometimes. Don't you trust me?"

"I do, but—"

"But what?"

"Josh, I can't tell you. The case we've been working on for the past few days…it's…it's just not information that I can reveal to the public."

"Yet _he_ knows about it," said Josh impatiently.

"Of course he knows about it, he's my _partner_."

"Are you sure that's all you are? Because when we saved you from that freezer, all he could ask for was you. When I came to the precinct, you two looked pretty friendly."

"You wanna know why? Because he is my _friend_. I went to hell and back today, Josh, multiple times, and I don't need you to be interrogating me about it," she yelled.

"Hell and back, eh? What's that supposed to mean?"

"I told you, I can't tell you!"

"Please, Kate, you two were stuck in a _freezer_ for crying out loud. You cannot tell me that that is _normal_ cop behavior!"

"Josh, stop. Now," she demanded, putting on her best cop voice. She saw Josh's eyes flicker with something she'd never seen before. For a moment, he had looked honestly scared of her. _Good, maybe I can intimidate him into letting the matter drop. No, stop! Those aren't thoughts that are going to get you guys back on track. Stay focused, Kate._

"Katie," he began, his tone changing drastically from screaming at the top of his lungs to eerily calm. "I didn't go to Haiti for you. I deserve to know what you were up to."

Kate took a deep breath, and she too, began in a calm voice – almost too calm. "Josh. I have a dangerous job. It is my duty to solve these murders. Those family members? They deserve to know why their loved one was taken from them. Sometimes in doing so, it takes me places that I could never imagine. Sometimes I stand face to face with death.

"You? You bring people back from the brink of death. You give people a second shot at living. But me? I speak for the dead. Once they're gone, we're all they have left. I have to bring them justice."

"I'm sorry," he said, taking a tentative step closer to her.

"It's okay. Just, please, it's late and I've had a hell of a day. I want to go to sleep."

"Fine, do you want me to stay?"

She took a deep breath. She didn't really want him to stay, but if she was going to give their relationship another shot, then it was the right thing to do.

"Sure," she said, already regretting her decision.

Knowing the fight was over for the moment, Kate brought Josh back to her room. They lay in her bed, her on the left, and him on the right. Kate burrowed into the plush pillows and felt her eyes get heavy. Within minutes, she was asleep.

_Beep! Beep! Beep!_

"_Castle! Get out! Get out!" she is yelling._

"_What?" he is asking, looking scared._

"_GO!" she is screaming at him._

"_Why? Look, I don't—"_

_She is dropping her flashlight and running to the exit. She is pulling on the garage type door of the storage unit, still yelling at her companion to run. _

"_Castle, back away from the door! Get away!"_

"_What's going on? What is that thing?" he is asking. She is looking at him frantically, pleading with her eyes that he will continue to run. She is pulling a phone from her pocket and dialing quickly. _

"_This is Detective Kate Beckett, badge number 0334! I've been exposed to high levels of radiation. We need emergency services right away!" She is yelling into her phone, her voice is getting horse with concern. He is looking at her scared._

_The scene is blending into a cold, white fog, and is clearing as soon as it came. _

_She is feeling cold. And numb. She is sitting, curled up in her partner's arms, shivering, trying desperately to stay awake and conscious._

_She is saying something – she does not even know what she is saying. Her brain is not functioning, and before she knows it, everything goes black._

_There is white fog everywhere and when it is clearing, she is looking straight into three containers of cerulean liquid, one can of yellow radioactive material, a counter, and a helluva lot of wires. Her partner is grabbing her hand, holding it in a death grip. She wants to tell him that she loves him. She wants to tell him everything that she couldn't because the HAZMAT people interrupted them. Instead, she is turning her head back to the bomb in front of her. She and her companion are watching as the red LED numbers are ticking down steadily. They are watching as it is turning to 00:00:00. A split second is passing before a tremendous BOOM! _

_Everything is disappearing in a flash of light._

"NO!" Kate screamed, sitting up straight. She looked around, frantically, trying to figure out where she was. She took a deep breath. _It was only a dream, Kate. Only a dream. You're safe. You're in bed. _She thought to herself, trying to calm her racing heart. She wiped sweat from her brow and looked around, searching for Josh. He must have slipped out during the night. She reached with shaking fingers to her phone, which was sitting on her nightstand. She flipped open and was surprised to see that she had a message. The time stamp said that it had come at 1:35AM. She looked at her clock and saw that it was 2:13AM.

_I can't sleep. If you're up, can you give me a call? I just want to make sure you're all right. –RC _

She smiled slightly at his concern. Considering that it was about forty-five minutes since he had sent that text, she messaged him a short one.

_I'm up. You wanted to talk? –KB_

Instead of another message, her phone buzzed, showing that Castle was calling her.

"Hi," she greeted.

"Hey. I just wanted to make sure you're okay," he said.

"I'm fine," she said, doing her best to keep her voice even.

"You sure? You're voice is a little shaky."

She laughed quietly; clearly she had not done a very good job. "It's okay. I just had a little nightmare."

"Do you want to talk about it?" he asked.

"Not really, but thanks anyway."

"If you ever want to talk, I'm here, Detective."

They listened to each other breathing, enjoying that they still were able to do so.

"So, how's Dr. Motorcycle Boy?" Castle asked, breaking the silence.

"He's gone. I assume he had to be on shift."

"I'm sorry. Do you want me to come over?" he asked.

Kate smiled. She did want him to come over, but she also wanted to give Josh a chance. She was about to answer when she heard footsteps outside her bed room door. Her cop instincts took over as she slowly opened her bedside drawer and took out her gun.

"Kate?" Castle asked from the other end of the line.

"Shh, hold on," she whispered, cocking her gun.

"Kate, what's going on?" Castle asked, sounding more frantic.

The door to Kate's bedroom opened and Kate's gun arm shot up in defense.

"Ahh!" Josh yelled, jumping and spilling water all over himself.

"Josh?" Kate asked, incredulous. "What are you doing here?"

"Um, I thought I was staying the night. You were tossing and turning and sweating, so I thought that I'd get you some water. Hey, are you on the phone?"

Kate stared bewildered.

"Kate? What's going on? I thought you said he left," asked Castle, sounding just as perplexed as Kate felt.

"Yeah, I thought so. Apparently, he was just getting me some water…" she told Castle, her eyes never leaving Josh's confused face.

"Is that him? You're on the phone with him at 2:20 in the morning?" Josh asked, his voice level escalating.

"Can I call you back? Now's not the best time," Kate said, still looking away from her boyfriend.

"Sure thing. I'll be here if you need someone to talk."

"Thanks."

"Good luck."

Kate almost laughed at Castle's response as she hung up the phone and looked at Josh.

"Kate, what were you doing on the phone with him?" Josh asked, taking a step into the room.

"I woke up, you weren't here, I looked at my phone, saw that he texted me and I called him back. Is that a crime?"

"Nice choice of words, Kate. But it's the middle of the night. What are you doing talking to him?"

"I told you, he texted me saying that he wanted me to call him."

"At two in the morning?"

"He was having trouble sleeping!" Kate said, her voice level rising along with her anger.

"And you just _had_ to help him, didn't you?" Josh said, seething.

"He almost died today! He wanted someone to talk to." Kate yelled.

"Why couldn't his daughter help him? Or his mother?"

"Josh, he is my _partner_. He wanted to talk to someone who went through the same thing as he did."

"No, I think he just wanted to talk to you," Josh said. He lowered his voice, talking, hoping Kate wouldn't hear him. "Partner, my ass."

Kate's detective skills were far too good to miss what Josh had said. She climbed out of bed, radiating anger.

"Yes, _partner_. Josh, I've told you hundreds of times. I'm a cop. I get in bad situations and I need a partner. Partners are the ones who are there for each other until the wheels fall off. We are more than coworkers – we're a family at the Twelfth, and if you can't accept that there's nothing more going on between us, then we have a problem," she screamed.

"Oh please, Kate. Don't insult my intelligence. I know you care for him more than the rest of your team. I know it's those two other detectives and you and writer-monkey. He's not even a cop!"

"Don't you even _go there_, Joshua Davidson. I would do the same for every single person on my team. You don't know half the stuff we go through _every day_. They are the ones who make sure that I am alive to see you at the end of the day. We work _together_; we trust each other. Maybe if you trusted me, you'd understand."

"I trust you. It's you who doesn't trust me! And maybe if you did, you would let me into your life, and we wouldn't be having this argument."

"Josh, you didn't leave for me. Because of that, I'm willing to give this a shot, but you have to listen to me, and listen well. Ryan, Esposito, and Castle are my _partners_. They are my _team_. If this is going to work, you _cannot _question me about where my loyalties lie. I trust them with my life. I trust you with my life," she paused for a moment to collect her thoughts. She knew that trusting Josh with her life simply meant that she trusts him to operate on her and save her. She also knew that she didn't trust him with her heart, and the heart is the important thing when it comes to trust.

"And I trust you," he said.

"Then believe me when I say that nothing is going on between Castle and me. We are friends and partners."

"Okay. Now, drink this water I got for you, and let's go to bed."

Kate, still slightly annoyed, took the water, and slipped into bed. She turned and watched Josh as he closed his eyes, and his breathing steadied.

She rolled over, ready to go to sleep herself, when she felt her phone vibrate under her. She fished around for it, before finding it inside one of her pillow cases. How it got there was beyond her.

She looked at the display screen and saw that she had a message from Castle.

_Is everything okay? Stay warm, KB. –RC_

She smiled, and quietly, so as not to wake up Josh, she typed a quick reply.

_Yeah, it's fine. I'm going to try and get some sleep. We'll talk tomorrow. 'Night, Castle. –KB_

She waited for his response, knowing that he liked getting the last word.

_Until tomorrow, Detective. Sweet dreams. –RC_

She forced her mind blank, and managed to slip into a fitful sleep – not quite asleep and not quite awake.

Kate felt Josh get up at around six to get ready for work. She rolled over, attempting to find a more comfortable position, knowing that he wasn't there anymore.

She again fell asleep, this time, a little deeper. She was glad for the few hours of dreamless sleep, before she was awakened by an incessant pounding at her door. She stumbled out of bed, and opened the door.

"Castle?" she asked, incredulously. "What are you doing here?"

Castle only smiled and walked into her apartment, leaving her with a perplexed expression, facing an empty door way.

**Hello again, dear readers! I hope you enjoyed that...I know I had a blast writing it. Expect Dr. Motorcycle Boy to be around for at least a few more chapters (sorry, but we gotta give 'em a chance!)**

**Please leave me a review and let me know if you think they are in character or not. Also, let me know if there's anything you want to see happen in this story.**

**Best! Mangotango101**


	2. Chapter 2

**Um so WOW. I got so many notification e-mails tonight that I just _had_ to write another chapter. This one has very little Josh and a lot of Caskett fluff (yay!) **

**They're not in the precinct, so I hope I kept them in character. If not, please let me know, because keeping them in character is one of the most important things to me. I hope you think this is cute.**

**I don't live in NY, but I did some research about Central Park and stuff, so the restaurants where they eat are all real places. I'm going with the idea that Beckett lives in Greenwich Village, so I mapped it on GoogleMaps and the walk would take approx. 1 hour. So sorry if the geography is a little off.**

**Also, I'm not a Yankees fan (GO RED SOX!) so it was weird for me to write about Mickey Mantle. I'm going to try and keep the Yankees out of this as much as possible. If they do go to a game, it'll be against the Red Sox and the Yankees will lose. So yeah...**

**Also, I've never seen _Serenity_, I just know that Nathan Fillion is in it.**

**Haha, one more thing then I promise I'll shut up - No one knows Alexis' exact birthday, so I tried skirting it and it will probably never come up again.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Castle, Redbox, either of the restaurants where they eat or _Serenity_**

**Chapter 2**

"Good morning, Detective," said Castle, sitting himself down on her couch. "I thought that since Josh was at work, that we could spend the day together, you know, just hang out and walk around. Chill out after all the running we did yesterday."

"Ugh Castle, it's early, and I haven't had my coffee yet," she groaned, rubbing the sleep from her eyes.

"Beckett, it's ten thirty. You're usually awake at the crack of dawn."

"Yeah, well I had a pretty tiring day yesterday," she said with a hint of laughter.

"That would be an understatement. But I was serious, I'm going to take you out today and we're going to forget all about yesterday. Now, go get ready and I'll get you some coffee and breakfast. Wear something that's comfortable for walking."

Kate simply rolled her eyes. Leave it to Castle to come to her house unannounced and say that he was taking her out for the day. She shook her head in disbelief. He was truly crazy.

She reentered her room and began her morning ritual. She took a leisurely shower, making sure to use the cherry body wash she knew he loved. Why, she was not sure, because, after all, he was just her friend.

She finished her shower and decided that since it warm day that she would let her hair dry naturally. She put it up in a pony-tail to keep it out of her face. She applied some light street makeup – even less than she wore to the precinct. Once she was satisfied with her reflection, she went to her closet to pick out some clothes. She chose her favorite pair of faded jeans. They still fit her very well, but were soft enough and had enough give to make them her most comfortable pair. She put on her favorite button down shirt – it was purple plaid and right under her bust, it turned into more of a magenta shade. She took her mother's ring and slipped it over her neck and then fastened her father's watch to her wrist. She holstered her gun and clipped her badge to her waist band. She grabbed some money and her phone and put them in her pocket. She put on a pair of tennis shoes and gave herself a once over in the full length mirror by her dresser. Satisfied with her appearance, she walked out of her room.

"Okay, Castle, I'm ready," she called, apprehensively. She didn't hear anything, so she made her way to the kitchen to make herself a cup of coffee. She paused when she saw a sheet of notebook paper on the counter with a certain author's handwriting. The time in the corner said that he had written it about half an hour before.

_Good morning, Detective. _

_Hope you're feeling better now that you're all dressed and squeaky clean. I wanted to make you something, but your milk stinks, your bacon is fuzzy, and your eggs expired last month. Honestly, do you ever go shopping? Wait, I can answer that myself – you have quite the shrine, Detective Beckett. Anyway, I'm getting off topic. Back to the main point I'm trying to make: I went to Grey Dog's Coffee, and I'll be back in about half an hour. I'll have breakfast and coffee. Later today, we'll have to go shopping._

_Hope you don't have to wait long,_

_RC_

Kate barely had time to laugh to herself when she heard the buzzer in her apartment go off.

"Castle?" she asked, pressing the button to 'talk'.

"Are you expecting someone else?" he said back. She could hear the smile in his voice.

"You wish."

She pressed the other button letting him in.

She opened her door, waiting for him to come up. She thought about the letter and how quintessentially Castle it was. It made her heart warm to know that she had such a good friend – one that even wanted to spend time with her after she went home with her boyfriend the night before.

As soon as Kate heard the _ding_ of the elevator, her nostrils were assaulted by the scent to fresh coffee, eggs, chocolate, croissants, bacon, and potatoes.

"Geez, Castle, what did you do? Buy out the whole coffee house?" she cried, peering at the bags he was holding.

"I just want to make sure you're well nourished. And anyway, breakfast is the most important meal of the day," he answered her, placing his parcels on the counter.

Before she could answer, her stomach gave a mighty growl.

"Whoa, Beckett, you don't have to be so harsh," he laughed. She merely rolled her eyes.

"Okay Castle, time to eat. What is there?"

She started unpacking the bags, investigating each one.

"Well, let's see. We have some egg and cheese croissants, some chocolate croissants, home fries, bacon, bagels, lox, and some oatmeal."

"And the coffee?"

"So impatient this morning, Detective," he teased. "Here, I even made a special stop just to pick up your favorite kind: grande, skinny latte, two pump sugar free vanilla."

"Thanks, Castle. Let's eat."

The pair ate almost all the food Castle had bought. The only thing that had been left untouched was the oatmeal.

"Do you not like oatmeal?" Castle asked, when they were cleaning up.

"I used to like it. When I was younger I'd eat it every morning, but then I got really into the Ramona series, and I read about the time when Ramona threw up after eating oatmeal for breakfast, and for some reason, ever since, I have not been able to eat oatmeal for breakfast," Kate said. If Castle was surprised by her answer, Kate was even more surprised. She usually didn't let anyone know much about her childhood, but for some reason, it felt normal to tell Castle that small anecdote.

"Ha ha! Another layer to the Beckett Onion has been demolished!" Castle cried, sounding a little too happy.

"Relax Castle, it's not like I told you why I can't eat pudding of any kind."

"Why Detective Beckett, will I get to learn more about your youngster years today?" he asked, leaning closer to her from across the counter.

"You wish," she said, smiling. "So Mr. Mysterious, what are we doing today?"

"How about a nice long walk to the Park? We can see the zoo!"

Kate laughed at the pure innocence on Castle's face when he asked if they could go to the zoo.

"Sure, Castle. I'd love to see what you look like in your natural habitat," she said, baiting him.

"Oh how you wound me."

"Uh huh. C'mon, we've got a long walk ahead of us."

Kate double checked to make sure she had everything she needed. She took her gun out to triple check that the safety was on. They had taught her that in the Academy, and every time she left her house, she always made sure her gun's safety was on.

"All right, I'm ready."

She lead Castle out of her apartment and turned to lock the door.

"Do you want to bring a sweater or something in case you get cold?" he asked.

Kate was touched by his concern.

"Sure, grandma. Let me go grab one," she smiled and darted back inside to grab her favorite leather jacket.

When they were both finally ready, they headed out for the hour long walk that was ahead of them.

* * *

><p>The weather outside was perfect. The sun was shining, and there was hardly a cloud in sight. The temperatures hardly went above 75, and there was a light breeze that rustled the trees.<p>

Kate and Castle walked slowly, savoring the good weather. They were in for a hot summer, so anything resembling Spring was a pleasure.

They talked about inconsequential things. Castle kept trying to get more out of Kate about her childhood and Kate kept hiding it from him. It wasn't that she didn't trust him; it was just that it hurt her to think about that time. She was so happy and so carefree, and she had no idea that her world would be turned upside down. She didn't like talking about when she was younger, because it reminded her that she would never have that again. Yes, she knows that everyone grows up, but people who don't face a tragedy like she did, manage to keep their innocence just a bit longer. It doesn't cut them like a knife when they think about laughing around the Christmas tree.

She wished that she could tell him more, but something in her didn't feel quite right about it.

"Earth to Beckett," said Castle, waving a hand in front of her face.

"Sorry, what was that?" she asked, jerking from her thoughts.

"Nothing, you just looked far away. Twenty for your thoughts?"

"What, a penny is too low for you, Castle?" she teased.

"Well, it looked like your thoughts were worth more than just a penny."

"Ever the charmer, Castle. And no, you will not hear my thoughts."

"You're such a party pooper," he complained. He stuck out his bottom lip in a pout, hoping to earn some more sympathy.

"C'mon Castle, butch up. We're here," she said, pointing to the sign that read 'Central Park Zoo, this way'.

"Can we go see the monkeys?" he asked, his visage suddenly turning into that of an eight year old boy.

"Why does it not surprise me that you want to see the monkeys first?"

"Oh, you just wait, Detective, I have _plenty_ of surprises for you."

She raised her eye brow, showing him that she did not approve.

"C'mon, Castle. Let's go get some tickets."

She led him to the ticket booth and pulled out her credit card.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, Beckett, who said you're paying?"

"Me," she said, staring him down, as if he were a suspect in the box.

"I've seen that look too many times for it to work on me."

He physically pushed her aside and pulled out his Visa.

"This one's on me," he said, flashing the Kate the smile that brought most women to their knees.

"Fine, but I'm buying dinner," she said, refusing to give up control.

"Ooh, feisty, I like it."

Kate rolled her eyes. He was incorrigible.

"Okay Castle, here's a map. Let's do this strategically," she said, laying the map down on a picnic bench near the ticket booth.

"Come on, Beckett, it's your day off, lighten up! We don't have to be all procedural today," he pouted again.

"Nu uh, Castle, you paid, so I get to pick how we go."

Kate pulled out a black pen from her pocket and began to mark the map.

"Okay, so we're here," she began, putting a star near the 5th Avenue entrance. "Let's go see the Sea Lions, then we can go to the Penguins, and the Polar Circle. From there, we can go the Temperate Territory and visit the Snow Monkeys and the Red Pandas, amongst others. Finally, we can go to the Tropical Zone, before finishing off at the Zootique."

"You're so systematic," he complained.

She simply smiled and began to walk off.

They visited each section, just like Kate planned it. Every time they got to a new animal, Castle would get really excited and blabber on and on about some random fact or another. Even though Kate would never admit it, she really did learn a lot from listening to him jabber about each animal.

It was fun for Kate to spend time with Castle outside of work. She was genuinely enjoying their time together and everything that they talked about. Castle made sure to steer clear of talking about anything work or Josh related. Though it was an elephant in the room, it was on kitten feet. Kate found it so easy to joke and be herself around Rick. She even began to think of him as 'Rick' and not 'Castle'. It scared her, knowing that she was having these feelings for him – not in a romantic way, but in a friend way. She had never had such a close friend, other than Lanie. It unnerved her to know how well Rick tore down the walls she built around her heart. She knew that she would never be this carefree with Josh, but she also knew that she had to give Josh a chance.

"Kate," he began. She looked at him sharply – it was the first time all day that he had called her 'Kate'. Most of the day he would call her 'Beckett' or 'Detective'. She wasn't sure how she felt about the new moniker (even though it was her own).

"Yes, Castle?"

"I'm hungry," he said.

"Geez, you sound like a little boy."

He smiled innocently at her.

"Here," she said, handing him a granola bar.

"Where'd you get that?" he asked, looking at it apprehensively.

"I found it in my purse. I must have grabbed it from the box I keep in my desk at the precinct. I found it in my jacket from yesterday – I guess with everything going on, I forgot to eat it. It's perfectly fine," she said, holding it out to him.

He looked at it skeptically.

"Oh, come on Castle, I'm better at keeping the food in my desk up to date than the food in my apartment," she said, finally catching on to what he was worried about.

"Are you sure?"

"I bought this box last week, Castle. It's fine," she said again, nearly shoving it in his face.

"Okay, I'm trusting you," he said, reaching for the snack. He opened the wrapper and ate it in three bites.

"Are you trying to be like the snakes?" she asked, looking at him like he was crazy.

"Wha do yoff men?" he asked, around the granola bar.

"You hardly chewed! Are you waiting for it to digest in your esophagus, because I think that only works for snakes," she said, a smile playing at her lips.

He took a massive gulp before answering her.

"No, I'm just a guy, so we can fit more in our mouths," he said. "Wait, don't say it. I walked right into that," he continues, cringing.

Kate looked at him skeptically before moving onto the next reptile.

About an hour later, Kate and Rick emerged from the gift shop. Castle, being the little boy he was, decided that he wanted everything. Kate honestly felt like his mother when she admonished him repeatedly, and finally setting a limit of one souvenir for each friend. He protested lightly, but when he saw her cocked eye brows, he quieted down. In the end, he bought a stuffed penguin for Alexis, matching mugs for Ryan and Esposito, a leopard print throw for his mother, poster of a tiger for Kate.

"You know you didn't have to buy me anything," she said, when they were walking out.

"Yeah, but I wanted to. You can keep this with your gun at night, so if you ever have to use it, you can remember that you are a tiger," he said, roaring mockingly.

"Okay, Castle," she said, nodding, slowly. "Let's go grab a bite to eat. We can have an early dinner."

"I know just the place," he said, motioning for her to follow him.

They walked a couple blocks before stopping outside Mickey Mantle's Restaurant and Sports Bar.

"I know you're a huge baseball fan, so I just thought this would be an appropriate place to eat," he said, opening the door for her.

"Thanks Castle, this is perfect," she said, walking in.

The hostess recognized Rick (of course) and insisted that they get a ten percent discount on their bill. She sat them in a corner booth, so they could have a little more privacy from prying eyes.

They had hardly opened their menus when the waiter came to take their orders.

"What can I get you today?" the pimply teenager asked politely.

"We'll have two orders of Mickey's Barbeque Hickory Smoked Ribs, a large fries, and two beers," Castle ordered.

Kate looked at him in surprise, slightly confused by the fact that her menu was being taken from her and she had yet to even read it.

"Well, we can't go to this place and not have their special," explain Castle.

Kate just nodded her head, with a small, "Ah."

"So, Detective, any more stories from your childhood?" he asked, leaning in towards her.

"Haha Castle, you wish. How's Alexis?" she replied, knowing that Alexis would derail him for a while.

"She's great. She's still seeing Ashley, who I think is scared that I'm going to shoot him if he does more than kiss my daughter. Oh, ew, bad mental image," Castle began, getting lost in his own world.

Kate smiled, knowing how much Alexis means to him.

"Anyway, the first time I met him, he thought I was going to shoot him—"

"You told me this already, Castle," she said, smiling.

"Well it's still an amusing story," he defended.

Kate rolled her eyes.

"Fine, I'll just tell you Alexis' life story then. It was a blustery day in the year one thousand, nine hundred and ninety four, the month was—"

"Here you go," said the waiter, placing two steaming plates in front of them, effectively interrupting Castle's story. He set the fries between them and walked away before reappearing a moment later with two large glasses of foaming, ice cold beers.

"Yum, looks good. Dig in, Detective," Castle said, shifting in his seat in anticipation for the meal.

"You're such a kid," she answered, picking up her fork. She was amused at how quickly his mind changed gears. One moment he was telling an embellished tale of Alexis' life and the next moment, he looked like the nine year old on a sugar rush.

They ate in mostly silence, enjoying each other's company. Castle looked at his watch and saw that it was already 5:30.

"Come on, Detective, it's getting late, and we still have lots to do today," he said, putting his hand up, motioning that he was ready for the check.

Castle was reaching for his wallet when Kate interrupted him.

"Ah, ah, ah, Castle, remember our deal?" she said, taking out her own Visa card. She put it in the clear slot in the bill. The pimply teenager took it away and Kate turned to Rick.

"Okay, Castle, what's next on the agenda?" she asked, leaning in attentively.

"Well, we have to take you grocery shopping, so that's a must. Then I was thinking we could get some ice cream and watch a movie. How does that sound?"

"Sounds perfect, as long as we don't have to walk back," she said, grinning. Even though she was a cop and spent a lot of time on her feet, after the day they had had yesterday, her body was tired and her feet were hurting.

They waved good bye to the hostess and hailed down a cab.

"You chariot," said Castle, waving gallantly at the bright yellow door of the cab. The driver looked at him like he was a nut bar, and Kate just rolled her eyes. She slid in and told the driver her address.

In the New York traffic and the fact that it was rush hour, the ride that should have taken all of fifteen mintues took a whopping forty five. The cabbie was happy to pick up the extra fare.

"Welcome home, Miss Beckett," said the doorman, Greg.

"Thanks Greg. Have a great day," she said, smiling.

"You too, miss."

* * *

><p>"Okay Castle, drop your stuff and we can go food shopping. There's a super market around the corner," Kate said, grabbing herself a glass of water. She offered one to Castle, and he took it gratefully.<p>

The pair rode the elevator down and said hello to Greg, again. They walked to the grocery store and they each took a cart.

"Okay, we're going to play a game I used to play with Alexis when she was little," Castle said, walking up the frozen food aisle.

Kate inclined her head, showing that she was listening.

"In addition to all the necessities, you have to by one thing that you've never tried before, and something that starts with every letter of the alphabet."

Kate raised her eye brows.

"What?" he asked defensive. "It makes shopping fun. And it made Alexis an adventurous eater. So, let's go," he pushed his cart to the left, heading toward the bakery.

Kate rolled her eyes, again thinking how childish he could be. She followed him, because she knew that there was no way that even a simple trip to the super market could be boring with Castle around.

She got all the basics – bread, eggs, bacon, milk, orange juice, and items such as those. Then it was time for their alphabet game. Since Kate really didn't have much in her apartment, they had most of their letters, but they still needed some.

"Okay, I need a 'Q,'" she said, checking their carts.

"Every had quinoa?" he asked.

"No, it sounds ominous," she replied.

"Well then, it'll count for 'Q' and the food you've ever had before," he said as he rolled his cart towards the grain section.

"How 'bout an 'X'?" Castle called.

"No, I don't have one. Got any ideas?"

"Sort of," he said, pushing his cart towards to produce section. He reached for a watermelon and held it out to her.

"Castle, that's a watermelon," she said, as if talking to a small child.

"I know, but in Chinese it's called 'xigua,'" he said, defensively. He pronounced it 'Shee-gua.'

"Did you also learn that from the show you used to love?" she asked, remembering the last time he used Chinese in her presence.

"Why Detective Beckett, I'm touched that you remember. No, I learned _that_ from years of searching for a food that starts with 'X'. It's the only one we'll do in another language," he explained.

She nodded in understanding. "I see," she said.

"Come, I think we have everything," he said, leading her to the self checkout. "Ooh, this was a fun game with Alexis," he began. She looked warily at him. "We race to see who can finish their cart first," he said, smiling broadly.

She sighed, but decided to indulge him, just this once. They each took their position at the checkout and Castle said, "Go!"

They furiously checked out their items, and by mere seconds, Kate beat him.

"I win!" she said, giving him an 'I-told-you-so' face.

"You might have won this, Detective, but there is one thing I forgot to mention. Loser gets to pick the movie," he grinned and he walked the to Redbox that was near the exit. "C'mon Detective, watch as I chose the movie and you cannot say a word."

She rolled her eyes, not believing how he was acting.

He rifled through the Redbox selections before turning to Kate.

"Have you ever seen _Serenity_?"

She shook her head.

"Okay, then we're watching that. It's not here, so we'll just have to get it On Demand or something," he said, nearly jumping up and down.

"Calm down, Castle," she said, looking at him weirdly.

"Let's go! Beckett, this is _such_ a good movie!"

She rolled her eyes, again, but followed him from the store.

* * *

><p>"Okay, are you ready to see brilliance at its best?" he asked, bringing a huge bowl of pop corn, a bottle of soda, a bottle of water, a package of candy, a tub of ice cream, and a bottle of wine to the living room.<p>

"Castle, we're seriously going to eat all that?" she asked, her eye brows raising higher than they had in a while.

"Of course, Detective."

He took the remote and clicked a few buttons. Before she could comprehend what he had done, the title sequence to the movie was playing.

Kate took an afghan from the back of the couch and put it over their legs. They were on either side of the couch, and that was just how Kate wanted it.

The day had been so wonderful. Castle had been so charming and such a good friend. It was so easy to be around him and talk to him. She had had more fun that day than she had in a long time. She was cautious about letting her thoughts go too far, keeping in mind that she had a boyfriend. Josh didn't seem to understand the concept of "hanging out." All he wanted to do was physical stuff. Kate really enjoyed having someone who would be there for her as a friend.

Castle was right – the movie was fantastic.

"Hey Castle," she said after the first half hour.

"Yeah?"

"Has anyone told you that you look like the Captain in this?" she asked, turning to face him.

"Yeah, people have. I don't really see it though…he's not as ruggedly handsome as I am," said Castle, grinning.

Kate turned back to the TV to watch the story unfold. She felt her eyes drooping and her head falling towards the arm rest of the couch. Before she could fall asleep, her phone buzzed.

She took it out of her pocket, and saw that Josh had texted her.

_Hey babe, I just got off my shift. I'll be by 20. Miss you. xo—Josh_

Kate sighed. She was having such a good time; she didn't want o think about Josh.

"Who was that?" asked Castle, pausing the movie.

"It was Josh," she said, looking down. "He said he'll be here in twenty minutes."

"Oh," said Castle. "I should probably get going anyway. It's late, and Alexis is expecting me."

"Okay," she said, disappointed that they couldn't finish the movie. "Can we finish the movie another time?"

"Sure, whenever you want, Detective."

"Thank you for today, Castle, really. It's just what I needed," she said, standing up.

"It was my pleasure, Detective," he said, mocking tipping a hat and bowing. He took his souvenirs from the zoo, and handed her the poster. She took it and smiled.

"So, I'll call you if a body drops?" she said. Unfortunately, it came out as more of a question.

"Sounds great. If not, I'll see you Monday. Have a great weekend, Kate. Today was fun," he said, heading towards the door. He smiled before exiting her apartment and heading for the elevator.

"Night, Castle," she said to his retreating form.

He stopped and turned to her.

"Until next time, Detective," he said. The elevator doors _ping_ed and he stepped inside.

Kate closed her door and looked towards the living room. The TV was casting an eerie glow to the whole room and she assessed what she had to do to hide her day from Josh.

She wished she didn't have to, but she knew that if she wanted to make amends with Josh, then she'd have to keep her friendship with Castle on the down low.

She put the poster in her bedside drawer, and cleaned up the mess they had made. She kept out enough popcorn for one and poured herself a glass of wine. She put the rest in the dishwasher, and she settled in to the couch. She turned off_ Serenity_, because she didn't want to watch it without him.

She scrolled to her DVR and picked out her favorite episode of Temptation Lane. She pressed play and watched the soap that always gave her warm fuzzy feelings.

Her door bell rang and she took a deep breath. She had had a good day, and hoped that she wouldn't have a fight with Josh to ruin it.

She had let her guard down with Castle and her walls had been eroded. Now she had to put them in place again before she answered the door. She wasn't ready to be _that _open with Josh yet. TO be honest, she didn't know if she _ever _be that open with him. But she couldn't leave him hanging for too long. She had had a good day, and hoped that she wouldn't have a fight with Josh to ruin it.

She went to the buzzer and pressed the 'talk' button.

"Josh?" she called through the intercom.

"Yeah," he replied.

"Come on up," she said, buzzing him in.

She took another deep breath. It was only a matter of time before he'd come in and she would have to change her whole demeanor. It was going to be a long night.

**Wow...that was a long one. Two chapters tonight - you should be thanking me. Wait, no, I should be thanking _you_. To everyone who Alerted, Favorited, and Reviewed, it is much appreciated. This story has gotten more hits in one night than any of my other stories. I really wish you would leave some reviews, because I'd love to hear what you guys are thinking about the story and what you might like to see happen in the future. I don't have much of a plan right now, except to keep Josh around long enough that everyone is thoroughly pissed at him. Then boot him off. So yeah, moral of the blabbering - REVIEW PLEASE : D. **

**Hope you enjoyed, Mangotango101**


	3. Chapter 3

**Yay, another upload! I decided to make Josh sweet in this one - Kate needs a reason to stay with him, afterall. Again, I hope I kept them all in character. Mostly I'm worried about Kate (and her conversation with Lanie...)**

**This won't be a case-centric story, but I have trouble letting details get glossed over, so sorry if the police stuff makes you bored. They should have it solved soon enough (they are the best homicide team in the state...).**

**Again, I don't live in New York, and I know that the address I have the murder at is probably in the heart of NYC, but let's pretend that it works, okay? Great!**

**I think that's all - I hope you enjoy this chapter, and please review and give me your feedback.**

**Disclaimer: Castle and _Temptation Lane_ do not belong to me. This is for entertainment purposes only and no copyright infringement is intended. So without further ado...**

**Chapter 3**

"Hi Katie," said Josh, leaning in to give her a kiss. At the last moment, Kate tilted her head slightly so his kiss landed on the corner of her mouth. "How was your day?"

"It was really nice," she said, leading him in and closing the door behind him. She smiled, thinking about everything that Castle had done for her.

"What did you do?"

"I took a walk to the Park, went to the zoo, and went grocery shopping," she told him, hoping he wouldn't ask who she was with.

"Did you go alone?" he asked, sitting on the couch, picking at some popcorn.

_Damn_, she thought. "No."

"Who'd you go with?"

"Castle," she said, quietly.

"You went with him?" he asked, turning, so he could face her better.

"Yes, but only as friends. Alexis was at school, Martha was at an audition and he didn't want to be alone." Kate pleaded with her eyes that he wouldn't start a fight.

"Well I said last night that I wouldn't mind if you guys are just friends," he said, pulling her closer. She sighed with relief that she didn't have to fight again tonight. She succumbed to Josh's strong arms and rested her head on his shoulder.

"What were you watching?" he asked, nodding to the still frame on her TV.

"_Temptation Lane_. You wanna watch with me?" she asked, reaching for the remote.

"As long as I can keep you here," he said, dropping a kiss on her head.

Kate smiled, thinking that this is what a relationship should be. She hadn't felt this at ease with Josh since the beginning, but it was nice to have a quiet night at home.

"How was your day, Josh?" she asked as the closing credits of Temptation Lane came on.

"Long," he said. "It was mostly just paperwork. I only had one surgery to do, and it had been scheduled for a while. So all in all, it was a pretty boring day in comparison to some of the ones I've had."

She laughed softly, wondering why Josh was being so nice all of a sudden. Not that she was complaining, but he was just being very sweet. She guessed he didn't want to hear her 'cop' voice again.

"Thanks for coming by," she whispered, leaning a bit closer to him.

"Anytime, Katie."

She pressed play and the next episode began. After ten minutes, Kate felt her eyes drooping shut. She felt Josh's hand tracing shapes on her arm, and his steady breath, rising and falling, under her cheek. Her breath evened out, and Josh noticed that she had gotten more relaxed. He shifted slightly so he could see her face and saw that she was asleep. He smiled to himself, turned off the TV, and carried her, bridal style, to her room.

"Josh, put me down," she mumbled sleepily.

"Not a chance, Katie."

"Josh, put me down," she said warningly, beginning to struggle. She managed to free one leg from his grasp and set it on the floor. With leverage, she pulled herself up and began walking to the bathroom.

"I'll be out in a minute," she called, closing the door behind her.

Kate stood with her back to the bathroom door. She took a deep breath and closed her eyes. She had had such a good day with Castle, she really had, but the night she spent with Josh watching _Temptation Lane_ was more relaxing than any night she had ever had with Josh.

Kate smiled, coming to the realization that maybe she could truly be happy with Josh. Comforted by her revelation, Kate took extra care to make herself look presentable. She wasn't going to lie, even thought she might not love Josh, she was craving intimacy. They had had a massive fight the night before, so what could be better than make-up sex?

She felt a tug at her stomach, just thinking about all the things she could do to make Josh go crazy. He wasn't the best lover, but he was always a gentleman, satisfying her needs before his.

She looked around her bathroom and found a silk nightgown that ended mid-thigh. She was a conservative person, so she never went for the lingerie that left nothing to the imagination. This one was conservative enough, but flattered her in a way that made her feel powerful. _Oh, how many criminals I could break if I ever wore this to an interrogation_, she thought as she pulled it over her head. _No Kate – now's not the time for work related thoughts._

She applied some lip gloss, and made her eyes extra smoky. She didn't like wearing make up to bed, so she'd have to take it off later, but it would be worth it. She fluffed her hair and mussed it just enough.

Kate took a deep breath and opened the bathroom door.

"Hey Josh," she said in a low, sultry voice.

He could only look at her with big eyes and try to talk.

"Um, wow, you look…wow," he stuttered.

She sauntered over to the bed, and leaned down for a kiss. He drew her in closer and before they knew it, Kate was being reminded of one of the reasons Josh was so great.

* * *

><p>The light was hardly coming through Kate's shades when her phone buzzed. <em>What are the chances that four bodies dropped this morning? I mean, come on<em>, she thought, blindly reaching for her cell.

"Beckett," she said in her customary greeting.

"We've got a body on west 45th between 7th and Avenue of the Americas," said Esposito, sounding just as groggy as Kate.

"Okay, I'll be here in forty five."

She groaned and began to get out of bed. She looked at her clock and saw that it was only 6:15 in the morning. _Why can't killers think about the time when they kill?_ Kate thought irrationally. She had almost reached her closet when she heard Josh grumble in his sleep.

"Kate, where are you going?" he asked, his voice thick with sleep.

"A body dropped, I have to go to work," she said, still picking her clothes.

"But it's so early," he said.

"You're telling me."

She grabbed a pair of jeans and a boat neck shirt and turned to her nightstand where she had to call Castle.

"Miss me already, Detective?" came Castle's voice through her phone.

"You wish, Castle. A body's dropped. Well, actually four have dropped, or else we wouldn't be going in today. I'm gonna pick you up in half an hour. Be ready," she said, cradling the phone between her ear and her shoulder as she put on her mother's ring and her father's watch. She holstered her gun and listened to Castle bemoan the fact that she was waking him at an ungodly hour.

"Seriously? _Four_ bodies dropped this morning? What are the odds of that?" he asked, incredulous.

Kate smiled. She had been thinking the exact same thing.

"See you in half an hour," she replied, hitting the red button that ended the call.

Kate hopped in the shower and let the hot stream of water calm her racing brain. She wasn't quite mentally ready to handle another case, but all she could do was grit her teeth and hope that this one didn't lead her to another national emergency.

Fifteen minutes later, she was getting dressed and making herself look presentable.

"C'mon Josh, I'm leaving, which means _you're_ leaving," she said, pushing him awake.

"Oh Katie, let me sleep a little more."

"Nope. You don't get to stay in my bed in my apartment if I'm not here. Get ready fast; I have to leave in ten minutes," she said, forcing him out of bed.

He grumbled more and stumbled to the bathroom. She heard the sink running and the toilet flush. She rushed to her kitchen and grabbed a cup of coffee and a piece of toast with peanut butter on it.

"Josh, are you ready?" she called.

"Yeah, one sec," he answered, emerging from her room. His clothes were rumpled from spending the night on the floor.

"Okay, here's some toast. Let's move," she said, shoving the peanut butter toasts into his mouth.

"Can I at least have a good morning kiss?" he asked, taking the bread from his mouth and puckering his lips. Kate smiled and pecked him lightly.

"There you go," she said. She looked at her watch and realized that she was running late. She hoped that there wasn't traffic on her way to SoHo. "C'mon, I'm running late," she said, pushing Josh out the door. Kate checked that the safety on her gun was set properly and locked her apartment while Josh pressed the button for the elevator.

"Have a good day, Katie. Go get some bad guys," he said, pulling her in for a hug.

"I'll do my best," she said, indulging him for a moment.

"Can I come over tonight?" he asked as the elevator doors opened to the lobby.

"Maybe, I'll have to see where this case goes."

He nodded, smiled at her, and began walking to his motorcycle.

"Hey Josh?" she called as he was mounting the bike.

"Yeah," he said, turning back to her.

"Thanks for last night," she said with a smile.

"Anytime, Katie. I'll text you later."

Kate got into her car and started it up. She was happy that things seemed to be working out with Josh for the time being. He had only been sweet to her, which suited her just fine.

* * *

><p>"Good morning, Detective," said Castle when he climbed into her car. "Here is your coffee and a bear claw."<p>

"Thanks, Castle."

"No problem. So, where are we going?" he asked, buckling his seat belt.

"West Forty Fifth between Seventh and Avenue of the Americas," she answered, not taking her eyes from the road.

They rode in silence; the only noise was the traffic and the soft slurping as Castle drank his coffee. They pulled up the crime scene, and got out of Kate's navy blue car. They said good morning to the officer in charge of keeping away the public and thanked him when he lifted the yellow tape.

Kate assessed the crime scene, taking in every detail. The body was in a deserted alley with trash strewn around. There was nothing outstanding to the scene, but Kate knew better than to assume that the case was what it looked like.

"Hey, Lanie," Kate said, walking up to the ME. "What've you got for me?" She was hoping that it would be a straight forward case – the last thing he wanted to do was have a case that lead them in circles.

"Caucasian male, mid-twenties, single GSW to the chest, contusions on his wrists and arms," said Lanie, reading from her notes.

_Huh_, thought Kate. _Maybe this is a 'normal' case_.

"Time of death?"

"Based on body temp and lividity, I'd put it between midnight and three this morning, but I can get you a more specific window when I get home back to the lab."

"Great, thanks Lanie," Kate said, standing and turning to face Ryan and Esposito.

"Morning boss," Ryan greeted.

"Yo," began Esposito. "The vic's wallet is still there, but it's completely empty except for the cash."

"How much cash is there?" Kate asked, becoming curious.

"It's weird, he's got a lot on him. I'd say it's close to two hundred."

"So the two hundred is still there, but all the cards are missing?"

"Yup. And his cell phone is gone as well."

"So it sounds like whoever killed him wanted his identity to be kept a secret," said Kate, turning back to the vic. "Get CSU to sweep for prints and fibers, have unis canvas the area, you and Ryan check dumpsters within a five block radius – if our killer got rid of any identification, I want it to be found. Castle and I will question the shopkeepers and see if they heard anything."

Kate sighed. Apparently, her hopes that this would be a simple case were thrown from the window. An ID-less young, Caucasian man with a single GSW did not look good.

"C'mon Castle, we've got work to do," she said, leading Castle towards the first store on the block.

* * *

><p>"Any luck with the dumpsters?" asked Kate when she saw the other members of her team emerge from the elevator.<p>

She and Castle got back to the precinct nearly three hours after they had questioned the owners, and they had found nothing that would help them crack this case. No one heard anything and there were no traffic cams on the street. Lanie got the prints back and the guy wasn't in their system. He had a clean bill of health, and there were no special markings on his body. Lanie sent in for dental records, but those could take up to two days.

"Yeah, we found his cell phone and a bag of all his cards," said Esposito, showing his boss their findings.

Kate looked closely and all she saw was a phone and some confetti.

"I thought you said you found his cards," she said skeptically.

"We did. The cards were all shredded, but it looks like they went through a shredder multiple times. It would be impossible to humpty-dumpty them," Ryan added, nodding to the plastic confetti in the evidence bag. "Oh, and the phone's a burner phone. Our killer must have swiped it, because there's nothing on it – its back to factory settings."

"Okay, give the SIM card to tech; see if they can salvage anything. I'll see if I can do anything with the cards. We can't solve this until we know who this guy is," said Kate.

"On it," said Ryan, walking away with the phone.

"Let's see if we can fit some of these together," said Kate, leading the remaining two men into one of the conference rooms. She handed each of them a pair of rubber gloves – she wanted CSU to check for prints if they got a chunk put back together.

The dumped out the cards, and began sorting them by color; there seemed to be at least a dozen different cards.

"Beckett, can I talk to you?" came a soothing voice from the door.

"Yes Sir," she said, turning to face her Captain. She stood and followed him to his office. "Does it have to do with the case?"

"I just wanted to make sure you're okay with working so soon after what happened a couple days ago," Montgomery said, walking behind his desk.

"Of course, Sir," she said, standing opposite him.

"Beckett, I just want you to know that I'm sorry we had to call you in. I know that you should have been resting. Let's catch this dirt bag soon so we can all go home and rest."

"Yes, sir, thank you, sir," she said, turning to leave.

"Oh, and Beckett," he called.

"Yes, sir?"

"Don't hesitate to ask for help on this one," he said with a knowing look.

"Thank you, sir," she said. Before she could leave, Ryan came into the office, holding a file in his hands.

"Tech got a hit from the burner phone. We don't know who it belongs to, but he only called one number on it," explained Ryan, handing the file to Beckett. She looked at the number and back at Ryan.

"Okay, run down this number, and bring in the person on the other end. See if they know this guy's name."

Ryan nodded and walked out of the office.

"Looks like you got your break, Detective," Montgomery said, smiling slightly.

"Yes, it does," Beckett answered, walking out the door to return to Castle and Esposito.

"Hey, any luck with the cards?" she asked, looking hopefully at the table. There were bunches of fragments, but so far nothing that really looked helpful.

"Not yet, Boss, but I think we might end up lucky if we keep working at it," said Esposito, looking up from his pile of green plastic.

"Did Ryan have any luck with the phone?" Castle asked.

"Yeah, actually. Our vic made calls to one number, so Ryan's running it down now."

Beckett took a seat next to Castle and reached for a small pile of red plastic. She began to try to fit the pieces together, finding it much harder than it looked.

They all worked diligently for a couple of hours, before Castle looked up from his pile. He now had a near complete gym membership card.

"I'm hungry. We've been working for hours, and I know that I haven't eaten since this morning. Anyone want pizza?" he asked, pushing his chair back and taking out his cell phone.

Kate and Esposito agreed that it was time to eat and the latter called Ryan to tell him to meet them in twenty minutes.

Lunch was uneventful; they all bantered back and forth, discussing how 'whipped' Ryan was, while interrogating Esposito about his whereabouts the previous day. Of course, Kate and Castle couldn't escape the interrogations either, but before they got too far, Kate announced that she had to talk to Lanie about something.

She left Castle to the boys and made her way to the morgue.

* * *

><p>"Hey girl, I don't have anything new about your vic, if that's what you're here for," Lanie said, looking up from the dead man on the table.<p>

"I'm not here about the vic," Kate replied.

"Have you come to tell me you've finally admitted your feelings towards writer boy and you two made hot, passionate love last night?" Lanie asked with a smile.

"What? God, Lanie, no! I came to talk to you about Josh."

"Okay…" Lanie said, drawing out the word. She knew that Kate didn't talk about her personal life very much, especially if they were at the precinct.

"He didn't go to Haiti for me," she began.

"Okay…" Lanie said again.

"I'm giving us another chance," she continued.

"Okay…"

"Are you going to say anything else?"

"What do you want me to say, sweetie?"

"I dunno, just tell me that I'm doing the right thing, I guess," said Kate, slightly unsure of herself. She hated this. She hated feeling like she needed to talk to someone about her problems, for the precise reason that they were _her_ problems, not anyone else's. All that aside, she felt that she needed the reassurance that she was doing the right thing.

"Girl, Imma smack you," said Lanie.

"What?" Kate asked. That was _not_ the answer she was expecting.

"Sweetie, I'm not going to tell you what to do, but I think you know what the right thing is."

"But—"

"No buts, baby. You need to follow your heart. No one can tell you how to feel. You of all people should know that."

"Thanks, Lanie. I should go check to see if Ryan has any hits on the number. Call me if you find anything," said Kate as she walked out the morgue doors.

Her mind was on overdrive when she got to the elevators. She automatically pushed the button for level four. Her talk with Lanie wasn't exactly the encouragement she was looking for, but it was helpful. Kate was stubborn, anyone who knew her knew that, and so she wasn't going to give into her heart. She didn't know what her heart wanted, and she sure as hell didn't want to risk it.

The elevator _ping_ed and the doors slid open. She walked swiftly across the bull pen and saw all the boys crowded around Ryan's computer.

"Hey, any hits?" she asked, sneaking up on them.

Castle immediately stood up and offered her a cup of coffee. She smiled in gratitude and took the mug of warm liquid.

"Yeah, the number traced back to a Liza Edwards. She lives in White Plains with her husband Neil and their two kids, Frankie and Sarah," Ryan said, debriefing her on what they found.

"Any priors?" Beckett asked.

"Yup. In her teen years, she was arrested multiple times for public intoxication. She also had a few B and Es, but charges weren't pressed. She grew up in Washington Heights, and with her history, maybe she still has a foot in the drug world."

"Great, we'll go talk to her tomorrow. In the meantime, dig up everything you can on this woman. I want to know where she was arrested, the exact dates, and if she had any coconspirators."

"You got it," said Ryan, turning back to his computer.

"Okay, Esposito, Castle, let's try to finish putting together those cards. We're almost done," she said, leading the way back to the conference room.

The bull pen grew quiet; the other homicide teams were out canvassing or at a take down, and her team was working with a purpose. Almost an entire day had gone by and they still hadn't IDed the vic.

"Ah ha!" cried Castle, raising his arms in victory. "I have his full gym card. He was part of the WonderWorks gym on Fifty First and Broadway."

"That's only eight blocks from where he was found," Esposito pointed out.

"And his name?" Kate said, using her 'you're-an-idiot' tone.

"Steve Garrison."

Kate sat back in her chair and rubber her face with her hands. She let out a deep breath and closed her eyes for a moment. Finally they had an ID and they could start their investigation for real the next day.

"Nice work, Castle. Steve Garrison is a pretty common name, so we'll have to find him in the morning. For now, who don't you all go home and get some rest," Beckett said, relieved that they finally had leads.

"Are you going home, too, Detective?" Castle asked.

Kate knew he worried about the hours she pulled at the precinct, and she turned to answer him. "Yeah. Night, Castle," she said, picking up her jacket.

"Until tomorrow, Detective," he said, smiling slightly at her as she walked out of the room.

Kate reached the elevator and pulled out her phone. She saw that she missed a text from Josh.

_Are you free tonight? I want to take you out. xo—Josh _

She smiled and slid open the phone to reply.

_Yeah. It was a slow day. Pick me up at 8:30. –Kate_

She walked out of the elevator and got into her car.

_Great, see you then. xo—Josh _

Kate felt a bubble of excitement in her heart. It had been a while since she and Josh had had a bona fide date night.

She pulled her car out of the parking space and drove home with a contented smile on her face. After hours of unhelpful information, they had managed to ID their vic, and she was finally going on a date with her boyfriend.

**There you go! I hope you enjoyed it. The next chapter will probably be the date and the next day at the precinct. Please tell me if you have any comments or constructive criticism. I love to hear what you have to say. Kate is kind of hard to write, so if I'm not getting it correct, please tell me!**

**Look for an update tomorrow night or Sunday. Love, Mangotango101**


	4. Chapter 4

**Whew...this chapter was kind of hard for me to write, mostly because I had to put Josh as a nice guy. I hope you like the date, even though it's Kate and Josh. Again, don't worry - he'll be gone soon enough.**

**The restaurant they go to is a real place, and the menu seemed waaaay out of my caliber - I honestly didn't understand the majority of the words!**

**I hope Kate is in character, as well as the rest of them, but Kate is the hardest. I try to keep the balance between believable and fun. I only write stuff that I can clearly imagine Stana Katic saying (as Kate Beckett). **

**The case should be wrapped up in the next couple of chapters, so sorry if it's boring to you. **

**I don't think there's anything else I wanted to say, other than thank you so much for all of your wonderful feedback. I love hearing from you and I love seeing how many of you are enjoying this story. I'm writing for you, guys. Please continue to review, alert, and favorite, because it gives me inspiration to write more.**

**Dislcaimer: I don't own Castle or Babbo restaurant. This is for entertainment purposes, and no copyright infringement is intended.**

**Chapter 4**

"What's up, girlfriend?" asked Lanie, picking up the phone.

"Can you come over now? I need your help," said Kate.

"Sure, sweetie, I can be there in fifteen minutes."

"Great, thanks, Lanie."

"No problem."

Kate hung up the phone and continued driving to her apartment. She was going on a date with her boyfriend and needed Lanie's assistance in picking out her wardrobe. She hadn't gone out with Josh to a nice place in over a month, and she wanted tonight to be special. She wanted tonight to be the beginning of their new relationship.

Kate pulled into her space in the garage and put her car into park. She checked her phone and saw that she had a text from Josh.

_Can't wait to see you :) xo—Josh_

She smiled, biting her thumb nail. She walked to the building and the doorman held the door for her.

"Good evening, Ms. Beckett," said Greg with a slight nod of his head.

"Thanks Greg. Oh, and Josh is coming by later, you can send him right up," she said, smiling.

"Of course, Ms. Beckett."

She continued to the elevator and as the doors _ping_ed shut, she flipped open her phone to compose a reply.

_Me neither. Just got home. See you soon :) –Kate_

The lift stopped at her floor and she stepped off.

"Took you long enough," came a voice from the end of the hall.

"Sorry, Lanie. Traffic," she said, walking towards her friend.

"M hmm. Okay, now why did you need me to come?"

"I have a date with Josh tonight and I need help choosing an outfit," she said, unlocking the door.

"Who are you and what have you done with Kate Beckett?" Lanie asked, laughing at her friend's confused expression. "Oh come on, girl, you hardly ever let me help you get ready. What's with you?"

"I'm just nervous, that's all," said Kate, shrugging.

"Nervous? Now what aren't you telling me?"

"Nothing, it's just that Josh and I haven't gone on a date in a really long time, and I want it to be special."

"Ohh, I get it."

Kate rolled her eyes, but led Lanie into her bedroom anyway.

"Okay girl, you get in the shower. You smell like old coffee and stale doughnuts," Lanie said, making a face.

"Thanks, Lanie, you really know how to cheer a girl up."

"I'm just saying…"

Kate shook her head but went into the bathroom anyway. She turned on the shower and stepped under the hot spray. The day had been long and slightly boring, but it was time to get work out of her head. She was going to go with Josh on the date and enjoy herself.

She used her cherry scented bath essentials, knowing that they were Josh's favorite.

She turned off the jets of water and stepped out of the tub. She put on a towel and went to see what Lanie had picked out.

"About time, girl," admonished Lanie.

"It was twenty minutes," said Kate, confused as to why that was a problem.

"Well we only have forty left, so here's the dress I picked out. I also got you shoes and a purse."

Kate looked at the dress and gasped. It was a tight, black dress that she knew would look stunning. It had thick straps and went to her knees. It was simple satin with some ruching near the waist. It had a slit in the back of the skirt part that was at least five inches. Kate couldn't remember where or when she had gotten it.

"Where did you find it?" asked Kate, walking over to the dress, holding out the hanger, looking at it from every angle.

"At the very back of your closet."

"Huh, I don't remember ever buying this."

"Well it doesn't matter, girl, 'cause you're going to wear it."

Kate nodded, but turned back to the bathroom to fix her hair and makeup. She blow dried her hair, and made loose curls. She let it hang naturally around her face. Kate applied her makeup, using green eye shadow that made her eyes pop. She put on lip gloss with a little shine to it. She slipped into the dress and was pleased that it fit like a glove.

"How do I look?" she asked Lanie, emerging from the bathroom.

"Damn, girl," Lanie said. "You look _hot_."

"Thanks, Lanie, that's what I was going for." Kate said with a smile. She looked at the clock by her bed and saw that Josh was going to be there in five minutes. She put on her mother's ring and some black four inch, spike heel, strappy, sandals. She grabbed a black sequined clutch, and put her phone, keys, wallet, ID, badge and handgun.

"You're taking your gun on your date?" Lanie asked, raising her eyebrows.

"You never know what might happen," said Kate, defensively.

"Uh huh. Sure," Lanie said, nodding, pretending she understood.

Kate rolled her eyes and exited her bedroom. She went to wait in the living room and Lanie came to join her.

"Are you excited?" Lanie asked, sitting on the couch.

"Yeah, it's really nice to be going out with Josh after all this time," Kate said, smiling.

"I'm glad you're happy, sweetie," Lanie said, patting Kate on the arm.

"Me too."

The two women smiled at each other before bursting into laughter. There was a knock at the door and Kate sobered up quickly. She went to greet Josh and shot one more look at Lanie before opening the door.

"Hey, Josh," she said, letting him in. He was wearing a tailored suit and a green tie which matched her eyes exactly.

"Hi Kate. You look amazing," he said, leaning in for a kiss. She met him half way and the kiss deepened. Josh was pulling her closer when they heard a throat clear behind them.

"Oh, sorry, Lanie," Kate said, pulling away, looking embarrassed.

"Don't mind me," said Lanie, walking towards the door. "Have fun, you two. Text me," she said to Kate, closing the door behind her.

"Sorry about that," Kate told Josh turning back to him.

"No problem. You ready?"

"Yeah, let me just get my sweater."

Kate grabbed a green shawl that Lanie chose and took Josh's outstretched arm.

"So where are we going?" she asked, as they walked to the elevator.

"It's a surprise," he said, smiling. "But I thought we could walk. It's a lovely evening, and it's not that far."

"Sure, sounds great," Kate answered.

She ducked her head and bit her lip to hide the smile threatening to form. They rode the elevator in silence.

* * *

><p>"I've always wanted to try this place," Kate said as she followed the seating hostess to a booth in the back.<p>

"Yeah, me too. I heard their food is amazing," Josh said, picking up the menu.

Kate opened hers and her mouth began watering just looking at the choices. Josh had chosen an upscale, Italian restaurant a couple blocks from her apartment. It was called Babbo Restaurant.

"I think I'll have Steamed Cockles as an appetizer and Beef Cheek Ravioli for the main course," Josh said, putting down his menu.

"It all looks so good. I don't know how to chose," said Kate, still mulling over all the options. She understood all the Italian on the menu, but was still at a loss as to what to get.

She sat in silence, contemplating her choices when she finally decided.

"I'm going to have the Asparagus 'Milanese' as my appetizer and the Goat Cheese Tortellini for my main course," she decided, closing her menu.

The waiter came by and poured them both glasses of ice water.

"Are you ready to place your order?" she asked politely.

"Yes, we are. Kate, would you like to go first?" Josh asked, nodding to her.

"May I please have the Asparagus 'Milanese' and the Goat Cheese Tortellini?" she asked the waiter, handing her the menu.

"Of course, and you, sir?" the waitress asked, turning to Josh.

"I'll have the Steamed Cockles and Beef Cheek Ravioli," he said, also handing her the menu.

"Would you like any wine or other beverages?"

"Yes, could we please get a bottle of the Verdicchio dei Castelli di Jesi?"

"Of course. I'll be back with some rolls momentarily," the waitress said with a smile.

Once she was gone, Josh turned to Kate.

"So Katie, how was your day? Catch any bad guys?" he asked, smiling widely.

"No, our victim was ID-less and we spent all day trying to figure out who he was," she answered.

"Sounds like fun," he said sarcastically.

"You're telling me. But I don't want to talk about work. What about you? Save any lives?"

"Well I performed an emergency biopsy on a three hundred pound old dude whose heart gave out. We saved him, but it was tricky. We almost lost him a couple times. I did a lot of paper work, and I also got a call from my supervisor from Doctors Without Borders," he said, looking down.

Kate felt a sinking in her stomach. That meant that Josh would be jetting off to some third world country to save more lives, probably for months.

"What did they say?" she asked, her voice getting quiet.

"They want to send me to Uganda for four months."

"When?"

"In a month."

"Oh," she said, absently tracing designs in the condensation of her water glass.

"Katie, I want you to come with me," he said, reaching for his hand.

"Josh, you know I can't do that. I have a job here. I can't leave," she said, pulling her hand away.

"Please, Katie? Even just for a little while? I'm going to miss you so much," he said, holding her hands tighter.

She sighed inwardly. Every time he was called on another mission, he asked her to go, and every time she said the same thing and they got into a big fight.

Kate felt that they were just getting back on track and she really didn't want him to go again. She didn't know what to do; he was going to go no matter what she said, and there was no way she could leave New York for that long.

"No, Josh. We've been down this road before. All it's going to get us in is into a big fight. Why don't we just take it day by day and we'll see where we are in a month."

"But Katie—" he began

"No," she said firmly. "Let's just enjoy our dinner and our date and we can talk about it more later." Her tone made it clear that the conversation was closed.

He sighed but agreed to her statement. Before either of them could say more, their appetizers, along with the wine, were set before them.

"Mmm, it smells delicious," she said, taking a deep breath.

"Yeah, it does," he agreed, picking up his fork.

They lapsed into easy conversation, talking about everything other than their work. The food was amazing, and by the end of the main course, Kate was stuffed.

"What movie do you want to watch tonight?" Josh asked, pushing his plate away from him.

"Something light and funny," she said, mimicking his actions.

"What about _It's Complicated_? I heard that it's phenomenal."

"Sounds great," she said.

"How about some desert, eh?" Josh said, motioning to the waitress.

"What can I get for you guys?" she asked, holding out her pad and pen.

"Could we please have some of your chocolate cake with gelato?" Josh requested, not bothering to look at the menu.

"Certainly. It will be out in a moment," she said, walking off to give their order to the kitchen.

"Thanks for dinner," Kate said, feeling slightly at a loss as to what to talk about. They seemed to have exhausted all means of discussion.

"It was my pleasure. I'm so glad our schedules worked out," he said, once again reaching for her hands.

She grasped his, blushing at the look he was giving her. She could see his eyes darkening and she resisted the urge to push her hair behind her ear.

"You're beautiful," he whispered, letting go of one hand to gently stroke her cheek.

"Thank you," she whispered back, looking deeply into his eyes.

"Here's your desert," said the waitress, breaking their eye contact and their moment.

Josh smiled at the woman and picked up a fork. He took a piece of the cake and held it out for Kate to eat. She took the desert into her mouth, making sure to completely engulf the ends of the fork tines. She moaned softly as the sweetness of the confection burst on her tongue. She smiled to herself when she saw Josh's eyes darken further.

Kate took her own fork and did the same to Josh. He smiled, happy that she was enjoying herself. They took turns feeding each other the cake until there were only crumbs left on the plate.

Josh leaned over and whispered in her ear, "How about we take this party back to your place?"

Kate blushed and nodded. Josh raised his hand, motioning that they were ready for their check. The waitress came at once and places the small, black folder in front of Josh. He handed her the folder and his credit card without even looking at the bill. He only had eyes for the beautiful women sitting across from him.

Kate felt her cheeks heating up when she saw how Josh was looking at her. She knew how this night was going to end, and for the first time in months, she was actually excited to go home with him.

"Come on, Katie, time to go home," Josh said, holding out his arm for her to take. She smiled and followed him out of the restaurant.

The night had cooled off and Kate wrapped her shawl closer to her shoulders. Josh rested his arm protectively around her, offering more warmth. They walked slowly to her apartment, savoring the cool New York night. The breeze ruffled her hair and Josh laughed as it tickled his neck.

The pair went up to her apartment and at the door, Josh planted a chaste kiss on her lips.

"Have I told you how beautiful you look tonight?" he asked, nuzzling her neck.

"I believe you have," she said, tilting her head to allow him more access.

"Then I'll just have to tell you again. You are gorgeous, Kate Beckett," he said, kissing her pulse point softly.

She hummed in approval and fumbled for her keys.

"Hold it, Josh, let me get my keys," she said, gently pushing him away. He groaned in disapproval, but allowed her to unlock her apartment.

Once the door closed, he returned to the job of ravishing her neck.

Kate's head was foggy, but through the fog, she thought about Josh. For the past day, he had been the perfect gentleman. Apparently, their fight had more of an impact on him than she thought it would. She was glad for his change in demeanor; their daily fights had become tiresome. Kate was finally feeling like she and Josh had a possible future. She pushed all thoughts concerning his pending trip to Africa, simply because she didn't want to ruin what they had. They were finally making things work, and they even had a real date night.

Kate must have known rationally that the relationship couldn't go anywhere, because he spent half the year abroad, and she couldn't leave the NYPD. She wanted to delude herself into thinking that it could work, because she didn't want to admit to the bidding feelings that she could possibly have for her partner.

No, tonight was not the night to think about it. Tonight was a night to enjoy with her boyfriend.

Kate brought herself back to the present and felt Josh tugging at her dress, attempting to take it off. She pulled away and led him to the bedroom. He kicked the door shut, and they were occupied for quite some time. All thoughts of watching a movie were promptly forgotten and not revisited that night.

* * *

><p><em>Beep! Beep! Beep!<em>

Kate's hand sleepily reached for her alarm clock, trying to turn off the incessant _beep_ing. She finally managed to find it and hit the 'off' button. She dragged herself up and out of bed. Kate noticed that Josh was no longer with her. She saw a note on the pillow where his head should have been.

_Good morning, Katie. _

_I'm sorry I couldn't be here when you woke up, but I got called into work super early. Thanks for last night – it was amazing. Hope you have a wonderful day and I'll text you later._

_xo—Josh _

Kate smiled and before dwelling for too long on the note, she stumbled to the shower. She went through her regular morning routine of getting clean, doing her hair, and putting on makeup. She picked an outfit for work and put on her mother's ring and father's watch. She holstered her gun, making sure the safety was on.

Kate was putting her phone in her bag when she saw that she had about five texts from Lanie.

_How was date night? _

_Kate...you better answer me soon!_

_I'm waiting for details here, girl. This isn't fair._

_Girl, Imma smack you! Where are you?_

_Katherine Beckett, you answer me this instant or I will make sure no one finds your remains._

Kate laughed at her friend's valiant attempts to get in touch with her. In order to quell Lanie's heart, Kate sent off a quick text.

_Calm down, Lanie. I'm fine, it was fun. We got a little caught up last night. I'll fill you in later today. _–Kate__

Kate shut the phone and returned to her task of getting ready for work. She took the contents of the purse she brought to dinner last night and put them into her work purse. Satisfied with her appearance, she went to the kitchen to down a glass of orange juice. She checked her gun once more before exiting her apartment and heading for the precinct.

* * *

><p>"Morning, boys," she said, emerging from the elevator. "Any news on our Liza Edwards?"<p>

"Yeah, we've got her records here," said Ryan, bringing a folder to Kate. She took it and peered at its contents.

"Okay, most of this was from when she was younger, but I still want to know her connection to our vic. None of this suggests that she had any contact with a Steven Garrison."

"Yo," said Esposito, coming over to the two detectives. "I found that gym that he belongs to, and it's a pretty big membership pool. They have two Steven Garrisons, but only one fits our description. Our vic lived at 100th and Riverside Drive on the Upper West Side"

"So what was he doing all the way at 45th street?" Kate asked.

Esposito shrugged.

"Okay, do you have a next of kin?" Kate continued.

"Yeah, vic's sister, Mary Thompson. She lives in the same building as he does."

"Great, Ryan, can you pl—"

"Good morning, Detectives," interrupted Castle, handing Kate a cup of coffee. "What's new?"

"Well," Kate began, as if talking to a young child. "Before you so graciously interrupted us, Ryan gave me the background on Liza Edwards and Esposito has the next of kin."

"Ooh, sounds interesting," said Castle.

Kate rolled her eyes.

"Okay, so as I was saying, Ryan, can you get Garrison's financials? See if anything pops. Esposito, can you get the sister to come down here? Once we talk to her, Castle and I will go to White Plains to visit Mrs. Edwards."

Ryan and Esposito nodded, turning to their desks. Kate took a seat and began to run a background on Garrison.

"What I don't understand," she began, turning to Castle. "Is why the killer went through so much trouble to try to keep his identity a secret?"

"Easy," said Castle. "He's a CIA agent, and the killer was the guy in charge of Garrison's mission. Garrison failed so he had to be killed. The killer didn't want people to know he was in the CIA, so he did a lot of erase his identity."

"Uh huh, somehow I don't think this will have anything to do with the CIA."

"You know, one day, I'm going to be right about the CIA," Castle said, taking a sip of his coffee.

"You wish," Kate said, turning back to her computer.

They sat in silence for a while; Kate working through the vic's background and Castle watching her work and occasionally pulling out his phone to play Angry Birds.

"Yo Beckett," Esposito said, walking to her desk. "The vic's sister is on her way. She'll be here in half an hour."

"Thanks," Kate said. She took a deep breath and turned to her work.

"You okay?" asked Castle.

"I hate this part," Kate began. "I hate telling the people that their loved one is dead. It changes everything."

"I know, but you do it so well. It's never going to be easy, but you truly empathize with them, and I can only assume that for the families, knowing that they have a detective who cares so much about their lost love, that it makes it easier for them. They're reassured that their loved one will have justice."

"That doesn't change the fact that after I talk to them, they will never see the world in the same way again."

"Of course not, but at least they know you care."

Kate smiled slightly.

"Thanks, Castle."

"Always."

Kate took all the documents she had and organized them in her leather folder. She read through the files once more and planned what she was going to say to the sister. Castle watched her silently, marveling in how strong she was.

* * *

><p>"Beckett?" Ryan asked. "The vic's sister is here."<p>

"Thanks, Ryan."

He nodded and returned to his desk to finish combing through the financials.

"Ms. Thompson?" Kate asked, walking into the interview room. "I'm Detective Kate Beckett; I'm going to be working on your brother's case. I'm so sorry for your loss."

"Thank you, Detective. Do you have any idea of who would do this?" Ms. Thompson's eyes were red rimmed and puffy and she had a crumpled tissue in her hand.

"Not yet, but we're doing everything we can to find his killer. I know this is going to be hard for you right now, but I have a few questions I'm going need to ask you."

Ms. Thompson simply nodded and sat down in one of the chairs.

"Ms. Thompson, when was the last time you spoke with your brother?"

"A couple days ago. He called to say that he was in trouble and needed my help. I-I told him that I was busy, and I asked if he would come by later that night. He didn't show up," Ms. Thompson said, tears welling in her eyes.

"Did he mention what kind of trouble?"

"No, he just said he needed my help."

Kate nodded, making a note on her note pad. "Ms. Thompson, do you know of anyone who would want to harm your brother in any way?"

"No, he was a kind man. He loved life and he loved everyone. He was the kind of person who would help an old lady in the park and who would go out of his way make someone feel safe."

"What did your brother do for a living?"

"He was a History teacher at PS 51. He loved the children there and he loved teaching them."

Kate turned to Castle and spoke in low tones, "That's why he was all the way on 45th."

Castle nodded in agreement. Kate turned back to the vic's sister.

"Ms. Thompson, do you know a Liza Edwards?"

"No, should I?"

"We're not sure. You're brother was in contact with her for the past month, and she's had a drug history. Was your brother using?"

"No, he never did drugs. He hardly drank; he only had a beer at family gatherings."

"Did he have a girlfriend, or was he in a relationship?" Kate asked, leaning in towards the woman.

"I don't know, we didn't really talk about it that much. I remember he mentioned someone by the name Elena Martinez, and I think she was a Spanish teacher at his school. I don't know if they were together, though."

"Thank you, Ms. Thompson, you've been extremely helpful. If you can think of anything else, please don't hesitate to call me."

Kate handed the woman her card and motioned for a uniform to take her to the morgue to identify the body.

"Detective?" Ms. Thompson asked as she was being led away.

"Yes?"

"Was it painful? When he died, was he in pain?"

"No, it was pretty sudden. I don't think he suffered very much," said Kate.

"Thank you, Detective."

Kate nodded and returned to the bull pen.

"Hey Esposito?" she called.

"Yo," he answered.

"Can you please check into PS 51? I want to know if there was any bad blood there. Also, look into Elena Martinez, the sister thinks that she might have been involved with our vic." Esposito nodded and went to his computer and began to type furiously.

"Any hits on financials?" she asked Ryan, walking towards his desk.

"No, nothing yet, but I'll keep looking."

"Great."

Kate turned to the murder board. They had some good leads, and her hope that this would be a fairly simple case returned, even though her gut was telling her that it would be much harder than it seemed.

After staring at the white board for half an hour, occasionally making a note here or there, Kate still had no idea why the killer wanted to hide the vic's identification.

"Hey Beckett," Ryan said, snapping Kate out of her thoughts. "Still no hits on the financials, but I was thinking that since our Liza Edwards is from Washington Heights and has a drug history, she might have some kind of reputation. I went to Narcs to see if she had a rep down there, and they said that she was known for dealing to people who we'd never suspect. You know, the family man, or the American-dream type. They say that the people she deals with have a tendency to end up dead."

Kate felt happy with Ryan's report, knowing that that was a lead that would be good to follow.

"Great, check into those cases and see the M.O. that was used and see if there's a connection between them."

Ryan went to pull up the old files. Kate turned to Castle.

"Come on, Castle, road trip."

**So I hope this chapter was entertaining to you all. I wanted to show Josh in a bit of a different light, so I hope I succeeded. Next chapter will come very close to closing the case, so don't worry if you're getting bored.**

**I would still love to hear your ideas for Caskett moments or anything you would like to see happen. I have a loose outline for the story, but nothing definitive at all.**

**Leave me a review - even if it's a sentence. I love to read them!**

**Mangotango101**


	5. Chapter 5

**Yay, another chapter! Okay, I feel kind of bad, because I promised Caskett in this one, but as I was writing it, something happened and there's not nearly as much Caskett as I was planning (but...there's no Josh...YAY!). Thank you to anyone who reviewed, favorited, or alerted. Seeing your emails makes my day.**

**This chapter is case heavy, so sorry if it's boring. The case will be closed in the next chapter.**

**I hope the conversation at the end between Beckett and Alexis is believable. If not, please let me know, because I liked how it turned out, and I can see that scene happening, but I'm not sure what you guys will think of it. Please let me know!**

**Again, I'm not from NY, so sorry if the geography is off. I know White Plains is about an city, and I placed the 12th precinct where the old 12th precinct used to be. Apparently, it's only about five minutes from Greenwich Village (where Kate lives) and about 10 from SoHo (Where Castle lives), so it's convenient for them!**

**I've prattled on long enough. Enjoy the chapter and give me some feedback, I love hearing from you!**

**Disclaimer: This is not mine, so don't sue me. It is for entertainment purposes only, and no copyright infringement was intended. Without further ado...**

**Chapter 5**

"Okay, so we know that Garrison had contact with someone involved with drugs. We know that he was in some kind of trouble, and that the people who killed him didn't want anyone to know who he was," said Kate, not taking her eyes off the road.

She and Castle were in her navy car driving to White Plains. They were just entering onto the Brooklyn Queens Expressway when they began to theorize.

"Maybe, Garrison gets involved with drugs and needs money. He went to his sister, but he never got there. Someone killed him on his way," Kate began, thinking hard.

"But why would they make it so hard for us to find who he is?" Castle asked.

"I don't know. That part doesn't make any sense to me."

The two fell silent, thinking about the case.

Kate was merging the car onto I-87 when Castle spoke again.

"How are you holding up?"

"I'm fine. Why wouldn't I be?"

"No reason," he said, looking out the window.

"Okay…?" she answered, chancing a glance at him. "What did you do last night?"

"Alexis and I had an epic laser tag battle. We were fighting evil," Castle said, sounding like a small boy fawning over a new toy. "She asked about you, you know."

"Who?"

"Alexis. She wanted to make sure you're okay."

"Oh, that's sweet of her," Kate said, surprised that the teen would think about her well being.

"I told her you were doing fine. She wants to know if you want to come over for dinner tonight. It's Mac and cheese night."

"Um…I don't know if that's the best idea," Kate replied hesitantly.

"Why not? Alexis looks up to you, and I don't think she believed me when I told her you were fie. She wants to see it with her own eyes."

"I don't know, Castle," said Kate. She wanted to go to the Castle's for dinner, but with her relationship with Josh still so up in the air, she didn't want to risk too much. She knew that Castle was fantastic cook, and she really liked Alexis, but she was still worried. She didn't want to get too close to Castle, either, because she knew that eventually he'd hurt her in some way or another.

"Alexis didn't give me much of a choice, Detective. Basically, either you come to my house for dinner, or Alexis will think that you're permanently hurt."

Kate made a snap decision and hoped that she wouldn't regret it later.

"Fine, but only dinner," she said, switching lanes.

"Maybe a movie," Castle bartered.

"Now you're pushing it."

"Here's our exit!" Castle cried, pointing to the right. Kate swerved slightly, just making the exit.

"Okay, what's the address?" she asked, turning briefly to Castle.

"27 Minerva Place," he answered, checking the notes that she had taken before leaving the precinct.

Kate navigated some local roads before stopping at a quaint white house with a yellow door and yellow shutters. She put the car into 'park' and opened the door. She walked up the front path with Castle not far behind. She rang the door bell and waited for someone to come to the door.

"Who are you?" asked a little boy with brown hair and freckles.

"Are you Frankie?" Kate asked, bending down to she was eye level with the small child.

"Yeah. How do you know my name?"

"My name is Kate Beckett, and I was wondering if your mommy is home. I would like to talk to her."

Frankie looked slightly scared, but he turned and went running into the house yelling for his mother. A woman in her early forties with curly brown hair and hazel eyes came to the door.

"Liza Edwards?" Kate asked.

"Yes," the woman said.

"I'm Detective Kate Beckett, NYPD, and this is Richard Castle. I was wondering if I could ask you a few questions." Kate asked, flashing her badge.

"Uh, yeah, sure, please come in," Edwards said, opening the door wider so the pair could come in. "Won't you sit?"

"Thank you, Mrs. Edwards. We're here about the murder of Steven Garrison," began Kate, sitting on the sofa.

"Steven's dead?" Edwards asked faintly.

"Yes. What was the nature of your relationship with him?"

"He…," she began, faltering.

"Mrs. Edwards, we know your history. We know you're from Washington Heights. You can make this easier on yourself if you just answer our questions, or we can take you back to the precinct. It's your choice," said Kate, using her best cop voice.

"I-I had a bad childhood. I grew up in the Heights, and I was exposed to a lot. I followed my friends and we got into some pretty bad circles. I decided that I wanted out, so I did everything I could to leave. I went to college in Boston where I met my husband, Mr. Edwards. I went to graduate school in Boston and we kept dating. After my Master's program, he proposed and we got married. We decided that we wanted to move back to New York to start our family. We had both grown up here and we both loved it here. Coming back after all those years was hard. While I was away, I didn't come home to visit once. I spent all my vacations with friends and I got jobs in Boston during the summer. When we moved back, it was the first time I had been in New York since I was eighteen. I don't know how it happened, but someone from my old neighborhood found out that we were back, even though we were living here, far from the Heights. He got in contact with me and told me that if I didn't do what he said, he would rat me out to the cops and tell them everything that we hid all those years ago."

Liza looked scared that she was giving away too much, but Kate knew just how to deal with it.

"Don't worry, Mrs. Edwards, we're not from narcotics. We don't care about what you did when you were younger; all we care about is finding who killed Mr. Garrison. How did this man threaten you?"

"He told me that I had to deal for him once in a while, targeting elementary schools. He wanted to gets kids hooked on drugs at an early age. You know, when they're more naïve." Liza's voice had dropped to a whisper. "I didn't know what to do. They could put me away for life based on what I did as a kid, and I love my family. I didn't want to leave them. I've hid that part of my life from them for this long, and I didn't want it to emerge. Detective, please don't tell my husband," Liza said, tears leaking from her eyes.

"Mrs. Edwards, this is a murder investigation, so I can't promise that. Now I need you to tell me the name of the man who threatened you," said Kate, soothingly.

"He'll kill me."

"Mrs. Edwards, we can protect you, but you have to tell me who this man is."

"I want it to be over. I told him I wanted out, but he wouldn't let me."

"Mrs. Edwards? I'm going to need a name," Kate was becoming more persistent.

"Darren Williams," she whispered. Kate made a note on her pad and continued her line of questioning.

"What was your relationship with Mr. Garrison?"

"He caught me dealing to the kids at his school. He said he would tell on me, but I didn't want the cops to know that I was back in the drug ring. He said that if I paid him half a million dollars, then he would let it go, and he wouldn't tell anyone."

"Where did you get the money?"

"I couldn't take it from our finances, or else my husband would notice. I couldn't get it from Williams, or he would kill me for getting caught. I went to the only person I knew I could trust – my best friend from graduate school, Mary Thompson."

Kate felt stunned. She turned to Castle and just when she was going to speak, Castle beat her.

"That's the vic's sister," he said excitedly.

Kate nodded and turned back to Liza.

"Did you know that Mary Thompson was Mr. Garrison's sister?"

"What? No, I had no idea. When I met her, she was already married."

"So did she give you the money?" asked Castle. Kate was surprised that he had managed to stay quiet for so long.

"Y-yeah, she refused at first, but I kept asking her. I really needed the cash. Eventually, she gave in and she gave me the half a million. She asked why I needed it, and I told her that I had to pay off some teacher from PS 51. I guess she must have figured it out and went for her brother," Liza said, sniffing.

"Mr. Garrison had a phone and made a dozen calls to you in the last month. What were they about?"

"He was just reminding me about the money and stuff like that."

"Thank you, Mrs. Edwards. If you can think of anything else, please don't hesitate to call."

"You're welcome Detective. Oh, and I just want you to know, that after this is all over, I want to get on the right path. I want to make myself the person I could never be."

Kate nodded and stood. Liza Edwards led them back out of the house. They said last good byes, and Kate and Castle got into the car.

"Whew, that was unexpected," Castle said, pulling his seat belt on.

"Mary lied to us. She said she didn't know Liza Edwards. Why would she lie?"

"She's obviously hiding something."

"Yeah," agreed Kate, taking out her phone. She dialed Esposito and began talking. "Esposito? Yeah, I need you to run background on a Darren Williams. He's a drug dealer in the Heights. Bring him in if you can…great. Also, can you please get the vic's sister back to the precinct? Thanks…Yeah, we'll be back in about an hour and a half…bye."

The ride back from White Plains was uneventful. Castle continued to talk up dinner at his house, even though Kate had already agreed that she would go.

"Castle, if you say one more thing about tonight, I'm not going to come," she said eventually.

Castle humped, but stayed silent the remainder of the trip to the precinct.

* * *

><p>"So what happened with Liza Edwards?" Esposito asked, when Kate and Castle got off the elevator. He and Ryan were standing in front of the murder board, trying to see if there was anything they missed. Kate went up the white board and began making notes while she filled in the boys.<p>

"Well, it looks like our vic was blackmailing Liza Edwards because she was back in the drug ring. Our vic used the burner phone to stay in touch with Edwards. Edwards was getting threatened by Darren Williams, and so she couldn't go to the authorities to say that she was being blackmailed or that she was dealing again. She got the blackmail money from our vic's sister to pay our vic."

"Well that's awkward," said Ryan, smiling humorlessly.

"Yeah. Did you guys pick up our Darren Williams?"

"Nope, he's in the wind. Probably found out we were looking for him. We put out an APB, and we have unis canvassing his most likely dealing spots," explained Ryan.

"Great, and the sister?"

"Interrogation Room 1," said Esposito shortly. Kate nodded. She stopped by her desk to organize her files before walking to the box. Castle followed her while the other two detectives went into the observation room.

"Mary Thompson, aka, Mary Garrison. Do you know why you're here, Ms. Thompson?" Kate asked, dropping the file on the steel table and sitting herself in the chair opposite the other woman.

"No, I have no idea," said Ms. Thompson, looking stony.

"Let me fill you in. When we talked to you, you said you didn't know any Liza Edwards. Well, we just got back from her house, and guess what she told us. She said that the two of you were best friends in graduate school. Is that correct, Ms. Thompson?"

"I don't know what you're talking about," Mary said, still looking stony.

"Don't play with me, Ms Thompson. You know _exactly_ who she is." Kate stood up from the chair and began pacing the room. Mary's eyes followed the detective, never leaving Kate's face.

"Let me tell you a little story, and you can tell me whether it's true or not, okay? You met Liza Edwards when you were in grad school in Boston. You didn't know anyone and so you became fast friends. You were both ecstatic when you found out you both wanted to move with your families back to New York. You kept in touch a little bit over the past few years, but you weren't very close. About a month ago, you get a call from her and she says that she needs five hundred thousand dollars. You ask her why. You know she has a fair job, a rich husband and that she has a nice home. She doesn't tell you, but insists that you give her the money. You decline and she gets mad. She calls you again, asking for money. And again, you ask her what it's for. She finally tells you that she's being blackmailed. She tells you the consequences and you don't want to see your friend suffer, so you offer to give her the money. You ask her who it's for, and she says that it's for a teacher at PS 51. You realize that she's talking about your brother. You can't stand the thought that your brother got involved with blackmail, so you go talk to your brother. He won't tell you anything, either. You confront him and things get messy. You shoot him because he won't tell you what he got himself into. You're mad and you didn't mean to kill him, just torture him a little bit, but no, you missed when you were aiming for his shoulder and you hit his heart. You saw that you killed him and you ran. Is that what happened, Ms. Thompson?" Kate asked. She had been circling Mary, watching her get more and more fidgety. Kate knew that she was pretty close to the answer. All Kate needed was _why_ Mary killed her brother. The reason Kate had given wouldn't convince the DA; Mary's motive wasn't solid enough.

"No, that's not what happened," cried Ms. Thompson.

"Then what happened?"

"Yes, I know Liza from school and she called me asking for money, but I didn't kill my own brother!"

"Then tell me what happened," Kate said, leaning forward and getting into Ms. Thompson's personal space.

"I-Steven called me and told me he was in trouble. He told me that he didn't know what to do, and I had a feeling that I knew what it was about. I told him that I couldn't help him and that it was his fault that he gotten himself into trouble. I found him at school about a week ago and we got into a screaming match in his office. He said that he had to turn her in, even with the money, and I told him that he couldn't, because she was my friend and she didn't deserve what he was going to do to her. He got mad and threw me out of his office. We never talked about it again."

"Tell me, Ms. Thompson…how did your brother end up dead in an alley?" Kate asked, narrowing her eyes.

"I don't know! Someone might have over heard us. Maybe Liza heard, or someone that she was working for. I don't know, but please Detective, I didn't kill my brother," Mary pleaded.

"Okay. Thank you for your cooperation. You're free to go," Kate began to stand up, and was about to leave when she turned and said in her most intimidating, cop voice, "But don't leave town."

* * *

><p>"Okay, Ryan, please tell me you have some good news about Williams," said Kate, rubbing a hand over her face. She put a picture of the drug lord on her white board and made a few notes under his mug shot.<p>

"Still no sign of him, but we have his picture to all uniforms. Hopefully we'll find him by tomorrow."

"Okay. Did you get anything on his work? I don't think it has anything to do with the case, but I want to be thorough," asked Kate, turning to Esposito.

"No, Elena Martinez has no priors and I asked some teachers whether they were in a relationship or not. It looks like they just shared an office."

"Great. Can you please put together Williams' background? I want to know everything you have about him. Contact Narcs if you need more information."

"You got it, Boss," said Ryan, going to his computer.

"So Detective, when are you going to be ready to leave?" Castle asked, sitting in 'his' chair next to her desk.

"Not for a while, Castle. I have a lot of paperwork to be done and I want to type up all the notes from our interviews today," said Kate, picking up a pen.

"Okay, well Alexis just texted me. She wants us to be home by seven."

Kate rolled her eyes and didn't say anything. She began typing on her computer and got lost in thought.

She was excited to go to Castle's house for dinner – she really enjoyed spending time with Alexis. She did like seeing Castle in his 'dad mode,' especially since she spent so much time acting like _his_ parent.

Kate was concerned about Josh, she wasn't going to lie. She knew that Josh was okay with her partnership, but she didn't know if his comfort extended to her having dinner at his house. She decided that it would be best to just not tell him. He was on shift that night anyway, and so he wouldn't be staying the night.

Kate was so lost in her thoughts that she hardly noticed the time pass. She had been filling out interview paperwork on autopilot, not completely comprehending what she was writing. She had filled them out enough times to know what needed to be done, and since she knew so well what had gone on in the interrogations, it wasn't hard for her mind to drift.

She saw a mug of coffee being set on her desk out of the corner of her eye. She looked up and saw her partner had gotten her some of the delicious coffee from the break room. _That's weird,_ she thought. _Delicious and break room hardly ever go in the same sentence together._ She smiled at her thought and realized that Castle was still looking at her.

"What's so funny, Detective?" he asked.

"Nothing," she said, turning back to her paperwork. "Thanks for the coffee."

"My pleasure. You should drink it fast though, because we're going to be leaving in half an hour," he said.

"I have to finish my paper work," she protested.

"You can finish it later. Your presence is requested at my house at seven and it's already six fifteen."

Kate shook her head and worked diligently. She knew that there was no way she was going to change Castle's mind.

* * *

><p>"Welcome to my home, Detective," Castle said gallantly, opening the front door.<p>

"Please, Castle, I've been here before," she said, rolling her eyes.

"Detective Beckett!" cried Alexis, running towards her. "You came."

"Your father wouldn't take no for an answer," she said, shooting a 'look' at Castle.

"I'm so glad you came. Are you okay?" Alexis said quickly, a huge smile on her face.

"Yeah, I'm fine. And please, call me Kate," she said, smiling at the jubilant teen.

"Hey, why can't _I_ call you Kate?" asked Castle, pouting.

"Because calling me Kate comes with maturity level. You have a ways to go," she answered. Alexis laughed.

"You're a good influence on him," the redhead said.

"I try, but it's hard. You're father is like a nine year old on a sugar rush."

"You do know I'm still here, right?" Castle asked, looking hurt.

"Oh, Dad. You know it's true."

"Yeah," he said, sighing dramatically.

"Oh, Kate, darling, I didn't know you were coming for dinner," came Martha's debonair voice.

"Um, Alexis invited me, and I had to sit through two hours of Castle's nagging. I hope I'm not intruding," she said, suddenly feeling a little uncomfortable.

"Intruding? Dear, there is no such thing here. Anyway, it doesn't matter. I'm on my way out. I heard there's a marvelous party going on at the Waldorf and Chet invited me," said Martha, breezing to Kate, giving her a hug.

"Oh, well have fun," Kate said, still trying to get used to Martha's carefree way.

"Oh I will, if you know what I mean," she said, winking.

"Oh Mother, please, spare us," called Castle from the kitchen.

Martha rolled her eyes and leaned in to whisper in Kate's ear, "Don't mind him," she raised her voice higher than a regular speaking voice, "He just doesn't like to think about what I do."

"Mother, don't you have somewhere to be?" Castle asked, in a not-so-subtle attempt to get her out of the apartment.

"Yes, fine, all right. You have fun tonight, kids. Don't wait up!" Martha said, dramatically leaving.

"Okay, Beckett, want to help make dinner?" Castle asked, leading her into the kitchen.

"Dad, she's the guest. Don't make her do work," Alexis chastised.

"Alexis, this isn't you trying to get _out_ of helping me, is it?" said Castle, knowingly.

Alexis smiled big. "Of course not, it's just basic manners."

"Your nose twitched. You're lying!" cried Castle gleefully.

Alexis turned to Kate and rolled her eyes. Kate smiled back and returned the eye roll.

"Hey, you can't gang up on me like that," he said, pouting.

"Oh please Castle, you'll be fine."

"Come on, Kate. Let's sit in the living room," said Alexis, leading Kate to the plush leather sofa.

"Hey, that's not fair," called Castle from the Kitchen.

"Ignore him, he'll tire out eventually," Alexis said with a smile.

"Don't worry, Alexis, I think I know how to handle him better than you think I do," she said, laughing a little.

"Oh yeah, I forget that you have to deal with his antics all day. How do you not go crazy?"

"I have no idea. If I have to hear one more theory about the CIA…," she drifted off, knowing her point would be made better without the end of the sentence.

"I know how you feel."

The two women sat in silence, thinking about their respective relationships with Castle.

"Hey Kate?" Alexis asked, turning to face the detective.

"Yeah?"

"Um, I've been thinking about what I want to do in college, and one thing that sounds really interesting is Law Enforcement. You know, like what you do. I was wondering if you could tell me about it," she asked tentatively.

"What do you want to know?"

"Well, how did you know that you wanted to be a cop?"

Kate took a deep breath. She had never intended on telling Alexis her history, but she didn't know how much the girl already knew. Kate could tell that this would be a hard conversation. She knew how much Castle embodied Alexis with the truth, and Kate didn't want to take that away from her, but Kate still had walls around that part of her life, and she wasn't sure if she was ready to share it with anyone else. She knew that Alexis was mature enough, but it was still hard to talk about it.

Kate looked down, and Alexis noticed the immediate change in Kate's demeanor.

"Oh, Kate, if you don't want to talk about it, that's okay. I'm sorry if I was being too intrusive," Alexis said, also looking down.

"No Alexis, you didn't know, it's okay. How much has your father told you about me?" she asked, knowing that she couldn't withhold everything from Alexis.

"Only that you became a cop after a tragedy struck your family."

"Well he was kind of right. Look Alexis, I don't really like to talk about my past, but I feel that you deserve the truth. Your father is always telling me how he tells you the truth because you're mature enough to handle it, and I'm not one to doubt your father's choice," she began.

"Kate, if you don't want to talk about it, that's okay," Alexis said again, trying to convince Kate that it was okay not to share.

"No Alexis, you should know. When I was nineteen, my mother was murdered, and her killer was never found. That's why I became a cop, so I could bring justice to all the other families who had to deal with the pain of losing a loved one. And to bring her justice."

"Kate, I'm so sorry," Alexis said, reaching for Kate's hand.

Kate was surprised at the contact, but didn't pull away. She wasn't used to touching other people, but somehow, it felt comforting to hold the redhead's hand.

"Thanks Alexis, I know you are. But it was a long time ago, and I've learned to carry it with me."

"Do you think I would make a good detective?" Alexis asked.

Kate smiled. "I think that if you really care about putting killers behind bars, giving families the justice they desire, and making this city a safer place, then yes, you will be an amazing detective. I haven't forgotten what you did when you came to volunteer at the precinct," Kate said, smiling at the girl. Alexis blushed at the compliment.

"Are you ever scared of being a cop? Like when you're at a takedown or when you're looking at the barrel of a gun?"

"I can't lie and say that it's a risk free job. There's always the chance of death, but you are trained. You are taught how to deal with those kinds of situations, and you're taught well. Also, adrenaline always helps," Kate said with a small laugh.

"How can you stay optimistic about the world when you see all the horrors that go on?" Alexis asked. Kate was struck by how deep her understanding of what the hardest part of being a cop is.

"It's hard. I've seen a lot of bad things, but you find ways to take joy in the smallest things, and the little joys of life are what keep you going."

"Wow, you're amazing, Kate," said Alexis, smiling at the older woman.

"Thank you, Alexis. You're pretty amazing as well. If you ever need to talk again, I'd be happy to."

"Thanks, Kate."

The pair, still holding hands, looked at each other smiling. Kate enjoyed opening up a little to Alexis. She had high hopes for the young woman, and the NYPD could definitely use someone with the determination and intelligence that Alexis had. Kate found that it was indeed easiest just to tell the young woman the truth. Castle hadn't been lying – she was certainly mature enough to handle it.

They sat in silence for a few minutes before they heard an almighty _crash_ and a subsequent scream from the kitchen.

"Uh oh," said Alexis, eyeing the kitchen warily.

Kate just shook her head, a smile playing at her lips.

"Dad! What did you do?" called Alexis.

"Nothing!" he called back.

"Do you believe him?" Alexis asked Kate.

"Not a chance," she said, smiling. "Castle, what are you doing?"

"Just making dinner," he called back.

"Do we dare see?" asked Alexis, raising one eyebrow. Kate pretended to think before nodding her head.

"C'mon, let's go see what trouble he got himself into," she said, pulling the teen from the couch. They went to the kitchen to find it completely covered in white.

"Castle, what're you doing?" Kate exclaimed, looking at the walls and the appliances.

"I was trying a new recipe for Mac and cheese, and it exploded," he said, looking a bit scared.

"Dad, this is worse than when you tried to deep fry that turkey," said Alexis, brushing flour from his hair.

"Excuse me?" asked Kate incredulously. "You tried to deep fry a turkey?"

"He did," said Alexis. "It was pretty funny and horrifying at the same time."

"I can imagine," Kate said, giving Castle a skeptical look. "So what were you trying to do here?"

"I thought it would be cool if I experimented a little more, so I found the cheese sauce recipe that calls for flour. I was getting it out of the cupboard when it slipped out of my hands and spilled everywhere," he said.

"Ah, I see," Kate replied.

"C'mon Dad, we'll help you clean up," Alexis sighed, grabbing a sponge from the sink. Kate also reached for one, but Alexis stopped her. "You don't have to help; you're the guest."

"No, I'll help. The fast this gets cleaned, the faster we can eat."

"True that, Detective," Castle said, wetting his sponge.

"Nuh uh, Dad. You go shower, Kate and I will handle this," said Alexis, taking the sponge from her father's hand.

"Fine, but don't have too much fun without me," Castle warned.

He went to his bedroom and Alexis and Kate just looked at each other and burst out laughing.

"He's incorrigible," laughed Kate.

"I couldn't agree more," agreed Alexis.

The pair cleaned the kitchen and put up a new pot of water for another batch of pasta. This time, _they_ would be making dinner.

**Hope you liked it! Next will be the rest of the evening and wrapping up the case :)**

**Please tell me if Kate was in character - I was trying to find a balance between answering Alexis' questions and making Kate seem guarded enough. I hope I succeeded. Drop me a review! It makes my day. Thank you to my readers - you are why I write.**

**Best, mangotango101**


	6. Chapter 6

**I am so sorry this took a long time. It was a fast day today, so I was in no capacity to write. Also, it took me a while to figure out how to write the interrogation scene. I'm still not too happy with it, but it's late and I wanted to give you guys a chapter. Please let me know if you think Kate is in character/enough tiger for you. I struggled, and I would love to know what you thought.**

**I had a lot of fun with the first part, and I really hope that you enjoy it as much as I did writing it. I took some liberties as to how Beckett made the espresso machine blow up, and I'm not a chemist or anything, so sorry if it doesn't make sense. Also, I hope the fight scene is funny. Oh I also don't actually know if there's a difference between a gun battle and a take down, so I kinda just made something that made sense up. So sorry if that's not totally accurate.**

**There are a couple nice Caskett scenes, so I hope you enjoy those (I did promise you, didn't I?) No Josh again, and they wrapped up the case. I don't know how many more cases I'll put in, but they'll probably all be as detailed as this one, and will all probably span about three chapters. Also, I realized when looking back that I never once mentioned the size of the bullet - whoops! Okay, I've rambled enough. I'll let you read now.**

**Disclaimer: Nothing that is familiar is mine, I'm only playing with them. All rights belong to ABC and whoever owns Castle. This is for entertainment purposes - no copyright infringement in intended.**

**Chapter 6**

Finally, when the kitchen was returned to its former glory, and Castle had returned from his bathroom, looking normal, the three sat down to eat.

"Yum, girls, this is great," Castle said, taking a mammoth spoon full. He immediately started panting because the dish was so hot.

"Smaller bites, Dad. Honestly, sometimes I wonder who's the parent here," Alexis said, shaking her head.

"Hey, that's not nice," Castle replied, after taking a long sip of cold water.

Kate smiled and looked down at her own plate of steaming Mac and cheese. Big Castle and Little Castle were always so much fun to spend time with. Somehow, they always made her laugh.

"So Castle, when do I get to hear about the time that you deep fried a turkey?" she asked, a smile playing at her lips.

"I—" he began, only to be cut off by his daughter.

"One year for Thanksgiving, Dad decided that it would be fun to deep fry the turkey," Alexis began, a smile playing at her lips. "He bought this huge pot and filled it with oil, thinking that it would be like making apple fritters or something. So he heats up the oil and when it's boiling, he lowers the turkey into the pot. Of course, he's got the world's worst butter fingers, so he dropped the turkey in the oil, which of course splashed everywhere. Grams and I knew what he was trying to do, but when we heard his screams, we ran to the kitchen and there he was, yelling in pain. Grams had a hard time controlling her laughter, and I did too," Castle gave her a pained look. "But only _after_ I saw his face. He turned to us and his eye brows had been burned straight off." Alexis broke her tale to allow Kate to laugh at Castle's stupidity. "He turned on the sink and dunked his whole head under the stream. I swear, you could hear the sizzling. When he reemerged, Grams and I started laughing all over again, because his eyebrows were burnt clean off," she finished, giving her father an affectionate pat on the shoulder.

"Thank you, Alexis, for telling it so I come off sounding like a bumbling idiot," Castle said.

"Well you kind of were, Dad," replied Alexis, giving her dad a sympathetic look.

"Did your dad ever tell you about when the boys and I tried to convince him that he was cursed?" Kate asked, knowing that it would be a good tale.

"He told us, but I would love to hear your side."

"After Castle had gotten 'cursed,' I went to talk to Ryan and Esposito to see what we could do to make him squirm. He was in the bathroom and I loosened some of the screws on his chair, so when he sat down, he fell. You should have seen his face when he got up," Kate said, smiling at the memory. "It was a mix of pain and embarrassment."

"I'm sure it was. So how _did_ you get the espresso machine to explode?" asked Alexis.

"It was easy. I put some water in a bottle, and then the machine heated up, the water turned to steam. The pressure became too much and it popped the cap of the bottle and let out all the steam," Kate said, smiling wickedly.

"That's it?" castle asked, incredulous.

"Yup. You're such an easy mark, Castle," she replied.

Alexis watched the two grownups verbally spar and couldn't help up think just how perfect Kate was for her father. Too bad she had a boyfriend.

"Oh, Beckett, if we're telling cruel stories, then I should tell Alexis about the time when I we found out that I was going be writing three more _Nikki Heat_s."

"Please, do tell, father," said Alexis, sitting up straighter.

"We had just closed a tough case and we were getting ready to part ways when my phone began to ring. It was awkward, but then Beckett's phone also began to ring. We picked up our respective phone and talked to the person on the other side. I was talking to Paula and she was 'on hold for Captain Montgomery.' I found out first, but I don't think she noticed. Watching her face when she listened to the Captain tell her about the mayor's tough reelection and how I was going to write three more books was priceless. She turns to me and hisses, 'I'm going to _kill_ you!' and then turns back to her phone and says, 'No sir, I wasn't talking to you.' She hung up first and she had such venom in her eyes. But come on, Detective, isn't it at least a little nice to have me around?" He asked, cocking his eyebrow. Alexis was laughing at the story and Kate just glared at him.

"Don't flatter yourself. You're still like a nine-year-old on a sugar rush."

"Do you want to play laser tag after dinner?" Castle asked, getting excited.

"See? Nine year old. And I should be getting home. We have a long day tomorrow," said Kate, feeling bad. Laser tag did sound like a lot of fun, but she didn't want to blur the line between friends and _friends_.

"Come on, Kate, it'll be fun," pleaded Alexis.

"I bet you can't beat me," challenged Castle.

Kate was never one to back down on a challenge.

"Oh yeah, Castle? Who is the trained professional when it comes to shooting?" Kate asked, leaning in closer to Castle.

"Do you not remember the lesson you gave me all those years ago, Detective? You are a _very_ good teacher," said Castle, leaning in closer.

"You're on, Castle," Kate nearly hissed.

Castle's reply died in his throat when he noticed how close they were. It was one thing to get into each other's personal space at work, when they had a case between them, but this was more intimate and more personal. Kate was at his house. She couldn't be that close to Castle. And Alexis was sitting five feet away from her. What was she _thinking_? Had she not challenged Castle to the laser tag, she would have bolted as soon as they cleaned up dinner, but unfortunately, no such luck. Kate Beckett was not one to let someone beat her in a petty laser tag game.

"Okay, Beckett. Here's how it's going to go. Since I haven't been able to beat Alexis since she was ten, you and I will compete. Then she'll duel winner. And then we'll all eat ice cream and watch a movie," Castle said, finally managing to find his voice.

"You wish, Castle. I'll stay for the laser tag and the ice cream, but I can't stay for the movie."

"Why not?" whined Castle.

"Because I have to get home, and it'll be too late if we watch a movie," she explained, not understanding why he was having such a hard time grasping the information.

"You can just stay here," he pleaded. Alexis smiled at his dire attempts to get Kate to stay at their house.

"No chance in hell, Castle. I'll play and I'll eat, but I won't watch."

Castle stabbed his Mac and cheese moodily, pretending that it mattered more than it did. Kate rolled her eyes, used to his childish antics.

With the promise of laser tag in the air, the trio finished their dinner quickly. They cleaned up the kitchen and Alexis went to get the equipment.

"Okay, Beckett, when we play laser tag at the Castle household, we always role play. You still in?"

"I'm gonna make you hurt, Castle. What's your brilliant idea?" Kate said, narrowing her eyes and leaning in closer.

"Well, you're a cop—" he began.

"I already _am_ a cop," she interrupted.

"I know that, but listen. You're a cop and I'm a perp. You have to catch me," Castle was smiling at his own genius.

"Oh please, Castle, is this your idea or your fantasy?" Kate asked, rolling her eyes.

"It's both. C'mon, it'll be fun! You always said you wanted to shoot me," he said, laughing.

"Yeah, with a real gun, not a fake one."

"Please?" he asked, pouting.

Kate shook her head and rolled her eyes in disbelief. She was quite surprised that he was being so unoriginal, but since she had no better ideas, she decided to go with it.

"Fine, I will," she said, taking a step closer.

"You're going down, Beckett," he replied, stepping even closer.

An awkward moment passed when they both realized just how close they were. Their faces were inches apart, and Kate could hear Castle's ragged breath. She saw his eyes flick down to her lips before reverting to her own eyes. She felt something bubbling in her stomach, but she pushed it aside. She was just getting on track with Josh, and this close encounter with Castle wasn't going to help.

Kate felt her eyes being irrevocably torn from his clear blue one to his lips. She wondered briefly what it would be like to kiss him when her partner's lives weren't on the line. She brought her eyes back up to his eyes and could tell that he was thinking the same thing as she was. It might have been her imagination, but she thought she felt him move a tiny amount closer to her. She felt her own breath hitch when she realized where this could end – badly.

Thankfully, before anything truly catastrophic could happen, she heard footsteps on the stairs; Alexis was coming back with the laser tag gear.

Kate jumped backwards as if she had been burned. She took a deep calming breath, trying to steady her racing heart. _What the hell was that?_ She thought. _I can't be thinking about Castle like that. Come on, Kate, get a grip._

She looked to Castle who was standing in the exact place where he had been a moment ago. He looked frozen and had a dazed look in his eye.

"Dad?" Alexis asked, waving her hand in front of his face.

"What?" he asked, jerking from his reverie.

"You okay? You looked far away."

"Yeah, no, I'm fine. Can I have the blue vest?"

"Sure," Alexis said, still eying her father strangely. She took a vest, a pair of goggles, and a transparent gun and handed them to her father. He began to strap himself in. Kate became overwhelmed just watching him.

"Okay, Kate, here's how it works," Alexis said, taking the remaining set and helping Kate into it. "You strap it here," she continued, pulling the vest over Kate's head. "And you attach the gun here," Alexis pushed a cord into a USB port in the vest. She turned it on and Kate began glowing green. "So, it's pretty simple. You pull the trigger to shoot. If you hit him, he dies. Your goggles have a mirror on them, so you can behind you."

"Sounds simple enough," said Kate, peering at the vest full of LED lights.

"Are you ready to be beaten, Detective?" asked Castle, already sporting his gear.

"You wish, Castle," Kate replied, automatically getting into an attack stance.

She couldn't help but think about all the training she had gone through in the Academy. She knew how to dodge bullets and shot at moving targets. Beating Castle wouldn't be much harder than taking down a criminal. Or so she thought.

"Ready, go!" cried Alexis.

Kate sprung into motion. Her senses were on hyper drive and she quickly dove to the first place she could think of that would provide cover.

"NYPD! Freeze! Nobody move!" she yelled with her best cop voice from behind the couch. She knew she could win – this was her territory.

"Ha, Detective Beckett, do you honestly think you can catch me? I've escaped the police dozens of times, and you're no different," replied Castle, using an evil villain voice. Alexis stood transfixed. It was so cool to see Kate acting like a cop. Alexis knew her father would never let her near a take down, so she guessed this would be as close as she'd get.

"Come on, Mr. Castle, you know I can take you down. You can't be stupid enough to run. Luck only gets you so far."

"Luck has gotten me father than you think, Detective. And how much luck do _you_ have right now? I have a bigger gun than you. You only have you Glock .45, but me? I have a gun with enough ammo to take down a hundred cops. You don't stand a chance."

"Oh yeah?" she cried, bursting through the door of his office. She shot at Castle's revolving lights over and over, slowing moving so she was behind the desk, and he was close to the door. She was shocked for a moment after the first time she fired by the lack of recoil, but then she remembered that what she was holding wasn't a real gun. Her real gun was tucked safely in her jacket pocket.

"Smart move, Detective, not letting yourself get trapped in here. Too bad it isn't enough," he cackled, running out of the office, nearly knocking down Alexis. "Sorry, pumpkin, just doing battle."

"Yeah, okay, Dad," Alexis said, smiling.

"Come on, Mr. Castle, no one has to die. Put down your weapon and I can help you," Kate said, attempting to change her tactic. She emerged from the office, assessing the situation.

"Never," he cried, shooting at her. She dropped and rolled, her cop instincts taking over once again.

"You just wait, Mr. Castle. I will take you down and you will wish you never did anything illegal."

"Yes, but that would require catching me," he said, jumping again from his hiding spot. Caught off guard momentarily, Beckett just had enough time to drop to the floor. Lying on her stomach, she began to army crawl across his apartment.

"Oh, I can catch you, Mr. Castle. You've been on the run too long to slip out of my fingers now," she cried. She peered over the back of the island in the kitchen and saw that he was on the move. She jumped up with lightning speed and shot a bolt of green light to his right shoulder. Because he was moving, it missed, but hot his left shoulder. His vest began to make dying noises and with it, Castle also began faking being hit.

"I'm shot! Detective, you got me," he said, swaying and falling on the ground.

"Hell yeah I did, and about time, too," she told him, panting. She reached into her pocked and fished for a moment.

"What are you doing?" Cast asked from his spot on the floor.

"Ah, ah, ah, Mr. Castle, you are not allowed to talk. You are a criminal," she said, still walking over to him, panting slightly.

She took her hand out of her pocked and along with it were her pair of handcuffs. She knelt down next to him and grabbed one of his hands. She smiled when she heard the familiar _snap_ as she slapped the cuffs on him

"Ooh, bondage, I like it," he teased, laughing.

Kate rolled her eyes, but stayed in character. "Mr. Castle, you are under arrest for the murder of the flour bag. You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can and will be used against you by your daughter," she finished cuffing his hands and stood up. Alexis was staring at her in surprise.

"Too far?" she asked, wincing slightly, hoping that it wasn't.

"What? No, no, that was amazing. That was so cool, watching you fight. Is that what a real take down is like?" Alexis asked, riveted.

"It's not usually that fun. Also, that was more of a gun battle, not a takedown."

"What's the difference?"

"Well a gun battle obviously includes guns. The criminal is usually more dangerous and harder to take down."

"Because he has a gun," Alexis finished.

"Exactly. Takedowns usually are cleaner. They involve more hand-to-hand combat, and guns are rarely fired."

"Cool, so this was a gun battle."

"Um, guys?" Castle said from the floor.

"I thought I told you that you should stay quiet," Kate reprimanded.

"But that's boring," Castle whined.

"Oh quit being a baby."

"Can I at least have some ice cream?"

Kate rolled her eyes and looked at Alexis. "What do you say? Should we give him ice cream?"

"I think…," Alexis began.

"Come on, Alexis, I'm the cool dad," Castle pleaded.

"I think that he should get some, but only if his hands stay in handcuffs."

"What? That's not fair," said Castle from the floor.

"Says the one in handcuffs," Alexis pointed out.

"Aww, Beckett, you're turning my own kid against me."

"C'mon Castle, I'll take them off before I leave. Now, you get your ice cream."

She and Alexis went to the fridge and scooped two bowls of chocolate ice cream and one plate. Kate put the plate in front of Castle and she and Alexis sat beside him. He glared at them both before licking his ice cream like a dog.

"You know, this suits you, Castle," Kate teased. He glared at her. "Now you really _do_ remind me of Hooch," she continued, laughing at the memory.

"You wound me, detective," he complained.

"Dad, just eat your ice cream," said Alexis, pointing at his half melted ice cream on the plate. Castle opened his mouth to respond, but Alexis pointed at his plate with her spoon.

The three sat eating – or licking – their ice cream until the two bowls and one plate were completely free of the cold treat.

"Okay, I gotta get going. Thanks so much for dinner and the game. I had a lot of fun," said Kate, standing up and going to put her bowl in the dishwasher.

"Beckett, can you uncuff me so I can say a proper farewell?" Castle asked, still lying on the floor.

"Ever the drama queen," she said, rolling her eyes. She went to her purse to fish out the key. "There you go, Castle, all free."

Castle rubbed his wrists, bringing feeling back into his hands. "Man, I can see why people don't like getting arrested," he joked.

Kate rolled her eyes and turned to the redhead. "Thanks for inviting me, Alexis. And remember, if you have any questions, please don't hesitate to call me or stop by," she said.

"Thank _you_, Kate. I'm sure I'll take you up on that offer," Alexis replied. "Oh, and next time you come, _we_ have to battle."

"Definitely," Kate said, feeling slightly guilty that she had forgotten her promise to play against Alexis.

"Alexis, why don't you get started on your homework, while I say good bye to Detective Beckett," Castle said, clearly trying to get rid of Alexis.

"Dad, you could be less obvious about it," she said, rolling her eyes just like Kate. "Good night, Kate."

"Night, Alexis," Kate said, turning back to Castle. "Thank you, Castle. It was really fun tonight," she said.

"You're welcome, Detective. You know you're always welcome here," he told her. "But really, thank you for coming. I heard a little bit of what you and Alexis were talking about. I'm glad that she has someone like you to talk to."

"I'm glad to. She's a wonderful girl."

"Yeah, she is," Castle said, his voice getting softer. "Well, until tomorrow, Detective. We have a real bad guy to catch."

Kate smiled and reached for the door. "Night, Castle."

She stepped into the hallway and heard the door _click_ shut behind her. She leaned against the wall outside his apartment, just taking a deep breath. They had overstepped so many boundaries that night.

Kate's mind was in overdrive for the entire ride back to her apartment. What did the moment mean? It couldn't be that she had unrequited feelings for Castle. No, she was with Josh and they were happy together. It was just Castle being annoying and getting under her skin.

She thought about how easy it was to talk to Alexis. Kate felt more at ease talking about her past with the young women than she did with almost everyone else in her life. She was surprised how intuitive and mature Alexis was, even though Castle never ceased to remind her. She thought about Alexis' desire to become a cop. Alexis would make a good cop. She was smart, already had gallows humor, and she cared. Alexis had this ability to see through anyone's walls, and Kate thought that that would make her a wonderful cop.

Lastly, Kate thought about the implications of playing laser tag. It wasn't anything very consequential, but it blurred the line of friendship a little too much. She felt like she was already a part of their family, but in a scary way. Kate could easily imagine that as her life – eating dinner and playing some crazy game of pretend with Castle and Alexis. The thought scared her, and she knew that she had to stay out of a situation like that one.

Kate got ready for bed, going through the motions, all the while, thinking about the night she had at the Castle.

She was just lying down when her phone buzzed to life.

_Sweet dreams, Detective. Thank you again for tonight. –RC_

She smiled and decided not to answer him. He was so eloquent and to the point that she had no idea what she could answer. She'd just have to answer in the morning.

Kate drifted to sleep with a smile on her face.

* * *

><p>"Whoa, where's the fire?" Castle asked, stepping off the elevator. Kate was rushing past him into the elevator he had just vacated.<p>

"Come on, Castle, keep up. We've got a drug lord to arrest," she said.

"You found him?" he asked, handing her the coffee.

"Yeah. We found his lab in the Heights, and we're assuming he's hiding there."

"Isn't that a bit obvious?" Castle asked.

"Don't worry, Castle, we double checked. He had about five labs that we have on record, and each of them would be too obvious. He has one that he thought was a secret. We have traffic cams showing that he came in and out of this lab, so we're pretty sure he's there."

"Awesome, can I come in?"

"Absolutely not. He's dangerous, and I can't risk having you in there," she said, getting into the car.

"Please? I promise I won't get in the way," Castle pleaded.

"Castle, no. You are staying in the car. Do you understand me?" she asked forcefully.

"Fine, spoil all my fun," he said, sinking into the seat.

Kate's car, along with Ryan and Esposito and five other patrol cars screeched to a stop in front of an abandoned warehouse.

"Stay in the car," Kate said, leaning through the window. She was Velcro-ing her vest and took out her gun. She turned the safety off and held it in front of her. She and her team ran to the building and kicked down the door. Castle heard shouts of, "NYPD! Nobody move! Freeze!" and "Clear!"

He was about to get out the car to follow them in (against orders, obviously) when he heard a huge crash and a yell. He heard a gunshot and a male grunt. He heard the distinct sounds of handcuffs closing and Kate's voice saying, "Darren Williams, you are under arrest for the murder of Steven Garrison and possession with the intent to sell. You have the right to remain silent, anything you say can and will be used against you in the court of law."

The next thing he knew, uniforms were leading out a man whose shoulder was bleeding profusely.

"Castle, thank you for staying in the car. I would not have wanted you in there," Kate said, buckling his seat belt.

"Is he going to be okay?" Castle asked, gesturing to the retreating patrol car.

"Yeah, unis are bringing him to the hospital to get sewn up and then he'll be brought to the precinct where we'll get a confession out of him."

"You sure it was him?" Castle asked as they drove to the 12th.

"Positive. I bet that he was secretly watching over Liza Edwards to make sure she didn't do anything stupid—" Kate began theorizing.

"And he heard Garrison screaming at his sister, and decides to find Liza," Castle immediately joined in.

"He tells her that she's being found out and that she has to kill Garrison. Liza refuses and Williams—"

"Decides that he has to get rid of Garrison himself. He follows Garrison—"

"From the school and corners him into an alley and shoots him."

Kate pulled the car into the precinct where they ride to the fourth floor. It felt good to have that feeling of normalcy after the night before, even if it was just building theory. She and Castle were always so in sync with each other and sometimes it was like they shared the same brain, or at least were on the same wavelength.

* * *

><p>The doors <em>ping<em>ed open, and Kate went to sit at her desk. Castle took his customary seat next to her and watched as she organized files. Kate worked in silence for an hour, making sure that she had all the evidence she would need to crack Williams in one file. She double and triple checked that her statements and that the evidence was bullet proof. She also made sure that she knew exactly what she was going to say to him.

"Hey Beckett," Ryan said from across the bullpen. "I just got the call from the unis. They're bringing Williams in now."

"Great, thanks," she said, flipping through the pages once more. "You ready, Castle?"

"Am I ever not?"

Kate rolled her eyes and watched as the uniforms brought Williams into Interrogation Room 2. She and her team went into the observation room to see what she would be up against.

"He looks like he could kill with his pinky," Ryan commented.

"You think, bro? He's a drug lord. I thought you spent time in narcotics," jabbed Esposito.

"I did, but I was a rookie. They didn't let me do any of the hardcore stuff," defended Ryan.

"Oh please, Ryan, as if you haven't faced drug lords here in homicide," taunted Kate.

"What is it? Make fun of Ryan day?"

"It's always make fun of Ryan day," Esposito pointed out.

"What Castle, no words to offend me with?" Ryan asked, turning to the honorary member of their team

"Well I didn't want to make you feel worse about yourself because I can come up with a better sentence than you," said Castle.

"Dude, that didn't even make sense," Ryan laughed.

"Oh it made sense. I didn't want to make you feel worse about yourself because my insult is so good."

"Uh huh, sure," said Ryan.

"Okay, when you guys are done being children, I'm going to go get a confession out of our suspect," Kate informed them, turning towards the door.

"That's my cue to leave," said Castle, following the Detective.

"He's so whipped," observed Ryan.

"No, bro, _you're _ whipped," Esposito said matter-of-factly.

"So you finally caught the dirt bag?" Montgomery said, closing the door behind him.

"Yes, sir. We found him at a secret drug lab."

"Well seeing as Beckett's in the box with him, he doesn't stand a chance."

* * *

><p>"Darren Williams, my name is Detective Beckett. Do you know why you're here?" asked Kate, walking into the room, taking command. Authority and disdain were dripping off of her body, but her face remained an unbreakable mask.<p>

"No, I do not," the drug lord said in a surprisingly soothing voice.

"What's your relationship with Liza Edwards?"

"Never heard of her," Williams said, staying cool.

"Really? Well I have a witness that disagrees with that statement. I have reports that you and Ms. Edwards worked together in Washington Heights years ago, and now that you're here, I am not going to hesitate to put you away. I also know that you know that she's back in New York and that you asked her to do some work for you. So, Mr. Williams, do you remember her now?"

"I know her from years ago. What's it gotta do with anything?"

"I will be asking the questions here, Mr. Williams. You heard that Ms. Edwards was back in New York so you decided to get her back under your spell. She needed the money, so you gave her drugs to sell to elementary schoolers."

"That's not a crime is it, Detective?"

"Nice choice of words, Mr. Williams. That alone can give you thirty years easy. Now tell me, why did you kill Steven Garrison."

"What? You think I killed Steven Garrison? I don't even know who he is!" Williams cried, his voice losing some of it's cool.

Kate stood up and began pacing. She never broke eye contact with Williams. "Oh really? Because I think you knew _exactly_ who he was. He was a pain in the ass school teacher that caught your seller and blackmailed her. You couldn't have him alive, now could you? So you killed him."

"I didn't kill him," he protested again.

"Mr. Williams, do not play games with me. Where were you three nights ago when he was killed?"

"I was home, in bed."

"Alone, I assume."

"No, I was with Julie."

"And who's Julie?"

"My girlfriend. You can call her; she'll vouch for me."

"I'm sure she will, but I'm not going to believe her."

"Look, I didn't kill the guy."

"And yet, I still don't believe you."

"Come on Detective, we all know you're questioning an innocent man," he said, starting her down.

"You are far from innocent. My victim was killed with a .45, and I'll bet that you have a .45 as well."

"You're just fishing. I've never touched a gun."

"Mr. Williams, at least come up with a lie that I'll believe. Now listen, I have officers at your place now, combing through every paper and every dust speck. If we find the smallest indication that a .45 was there, then you're facing murder charges. Are you sure there's nothing you want to tell us."

"You wish, Detective. But good luck, because you're on a wild goose chase."

* * *

><p>Kate walked out of the interrogation room half an hour later with a signed confession.<p>

"I don't know how you do it, Beckett. He was as hard as a rock," Montgomery said, walking with her back to her desk.

"Well, I just had to find the thing that made him tick. The important thing is that we found the killer, and I can now tell the sister that her brother's killer will be brought to justice. And trust me, between the drug charges, the charges from the rest of his life, and the murder charges, he's not going anywhere for a long while," said Kate, putting the file on her desk.

"So tell me again the story," said Montgomery, leading Kate and Castle into his office.

"Well, Liza Edwards had been dealing drugs to elementary school students in order to get them hooked at a young age, when they were more susceptible to influence. Steven Garrison caught Edwards one day dealing and threatened to tell someone. She didn't want him to, because she didn't want the news to get back to her husband, but more importantly, she didn't want the cops to catch a whiff of her. She had a pretty big rap sheet as a teen, even for one coming out of the Heights. So anyway, Garrison blackmails her, and she needs the money. She can't take from her account at home, or else her husband will find out. She borrows from her best friend from grad school who happens to be our vic's sister. Mary calls her brother to get advice, but it becomes clear to her that her brother is the one behind the blackmail. She goes to his office and they have a knockdown drag out yelling match and Darren Williams, a drug lord who supplies Edwards, over hears. He was there checking on Edwards. He realizes that in order for him to stay under the radar, he would need to get rid of Garrison. He takes a gun and kills him in an alley."

"But why did this Williams want Garrison's identity to be a secret?" asked Montgomery.

"Because Williams was afraid that if someone found out that he was from PS 51, that they would check it out and find that there was drug activity. He didn't want the trail to be able to be lead back to him."

Montgomery nodded in approval. "Good work, Detective. You too, Castle. Now you should all go home and get some rest. It's been a tough case."

"Thank you, Sir," said Kate, nodding her head towards the Captain before leaving.

"So, you got big plans tonight, Detective?" Castle asked, taking his seat by her desk.

"Like I'd tell you. Night, Castle," she said, grabbing her coat and walking out of the precinct.

"Until tomorrow," he called to her retreating form.

Once in the elevator, Kate pulled out her phone and sent a quick text.

_Ready for a girl's night? –Kate_

She pressed send and waiting not two minutes before getting a reply.

_Of course, girlfriend. Meet you at your house in twenty. –Lanie_

Kate smiled and mentally prepared herself for a night that would certainly be filled with gossip and a lot of wine.

They had closed a hard case, and being with Castle was fairly normal. He had made no indication that anything had changed after the night before, and for that, Kate was grateful. She really didn't need to deal with it at the moment. She was just excited to get to unwind a little with her best friend after a long day at work.

**I hope this is up to your standards! Again, apologies that it took so long. Now, a matter of business - this is now my second most read stories, but I'm still short of reviews. Please, it makes me write faster - even if it's one word, or if it's paragraphs, I love reading them and I will respond. I just want to to know what you think about the story and the characters.**

**That being said, please leave me a review. It makes me warm and fuzzy, and it will mean that you guys get a chapter sooner, rather than later. **

**Glad you enjoyed (if you did...if you didn't, please let me know why so I can change that in the future!) Best, Mangotango101**


	7. Chapter 7

**So, I got some very constructive reviews, unfortunately, I got them after this was mostly finished, so I will take your reviews into account for the next chapter. I promise not to give too much away here, except what I need to give a full disclaimer. As usual - please let me know what you think of whether the characters were in character. **

**I made a full outline of the story, so I know where this is going. That does not mean that I'm not still open to ideas. I want to know what you think!**

**Just as a reminder: Joanne Delgado was the daughter of Susan Delgado who was murdered in "Home is Where the Heart Stops" from Season 1. At the end of the episode, Kate gives Joanne her card and says that Joanne can call her for anything.**

**After this uncharacteristically short AN, I'll let you read. The long one will be at the end.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Castle, _Police Academy_, _Hot Fuzz_, _Serendipity_, or anyting else that sounds remotely familiar.**

**Chapter 7**

"Hey Lanie," greeted Kate, opening the door for her friend.

"Hey girl. What's the occasion for the sudden girl's night?"

"Oh, no reason, I just wanted to loosen up a bit after the tough case we just had."

"Well you've come to the right place," Lanie said, smiling. She walked to the kitchen counter and began pulling things from the shopping bag that she was holding. "I've got some wine, chocolate ice cream, and some chocolates. Actually, Javi gave them to me, but I don't think he would mind if we shared."

"Perfect," Kate smiled. Lanie poured them both generous measures of the red wine and brought them to the couch in the living room. Kate brought the ice cream and two bowls with spoons.

As she sat with Lanie, sipping the wine and eating the ice cream, she realized how much she enjoyed a girl's night. Sure, she loved spending time with the boys at the precinct – making fun of each other and eating pizza at 11PM while they went over financials or phone records, but some nights, Kate liked to just chill with her best friend.

Lanie was the first person Kate met when she got to the twelfth. The latter was walking into the precinct, about to go to the fourth floor when she knocked into the petite medical examiner. Kate had apologized profusely, but Lanie had just waved her off and told Kate to come down to the morgue so they could get to know each other. For a while, Kate was still very private with Lanie, but after working dozens of cases together, the two bonded, and Kate became comfortable with being open and let some of her barriers down.

Most of Kate's friends from the Academy had married young – taking advantage of the fact that, being cops, who knew how long they'd be around. They mostly married other people in the Academy. At first, Kate was a little jealous that all of her friends were finding people so quickly. She wished that she was open enough to just let someone in that easily, but she knew that she wouldn't have time for a relationship for a while. She had a murder to solve.

With most of her friends married, she felt weird hanging out with them. For years she was a loner, throwing herself into her mother's case and the open case in front of her. She made friends in Vice, but they weren't the kind of people that she would go with to a bar to get a drink. No, it wasn't until she got to the twelfth precinct and met Lanie Parish that she had a bona fide girl friend.

"Girl, have you been listening to me?" Lanie snapped.

"What? Oh sorry, I was thinking," said Kate, blushing.

"Clearly. Anything you wanna share?"

"Just thinking about when we met and how I was a loner," laughed Kate.

"I remember that. You knocked into me and you were so cute, apologizing and everything."

"Well it was my first day in homicide, what did you expect? I was so nervous."

"I know. Remember your first crime scene?"

"Yeah, I do," said Kate, looking down.

She did remember her first crime scene. When she was in uniform, it wasn't her job to watch the pedestrians around a crime scene, and with Vice, she just raided. No, her first crime scene was the first one she had been to since her mother's.

She remembered everything about it. It was as if the universe was playing a sick trick on her. The victim was a women, mid forties, who was stabbed to death, only that case was a robbery gone wrong. She remembered Lanie being there, not knowing Kate's past, but it was good to see a familiar face. It was her first day in homicide, and she hardly even knew the names of her team mates. They caught the killer within two days. Kate remembered the feeling of accomplishment as well as the feeling of jealousy. Why should that family have closure? Why couldn't she? Kate remembered talking to the family. She remembered Captain Montgomery asking if she was ready to talk to them, and he observed. It was at that moment when he realized that she was something special when it came to informing the families. She had a talent, and maybe it sprung from the fact that her first case was one that cut so close to home.

"I'm so sorry, baby," said Lanie, reaching for Kate's hands. "I forgot what that case meant to you."

"It's okay, Lanie. Can we just maybe talk about something else?" asked Kate, pushing the tears that were threatening to fall.

"Like how you and writer boy should be getting your freak on?"

"Lanie! I have a boyfriend," exclaimed Kate.

"M hm."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

Lanie just gave Kate a look.

"Can we _please_ talk about something that's not Castle related? How're you and Esposito?"

"We're fantastic," gushed Lanie. "Makes me wonder why I didn't agree to it sooner."

"Did you know that he thought that you guys were being so good at keeping it a secret?"

"He's a little oblivious like that. He was all, 'let's keep it a secret,' but I told him that he was in a room full on seasoned detectives, so no way was it going to stay a secret."

"Yeah, he accidentally let it slip that you two went to see Tobias Strange and when he said 'we,' Ryan asked him about it and he tried to cover it up by saying that he went with his friend, Ray."

"Let's just say that he's a much better detective than he is a liar," said Lanie, laughing.

"Does he go all bad cop on anyone who lays eyes on you during a date?" Kate asked, knowing Esposito's specialty was playing the 'bad cop.'

"Hell yeah he does," said Lanie. "It's so cute to see him all territorial when we go to a club. Sometimes he even moves his coat a little so the guys can see he's wearing a gun. Their faces are hilarious."

"I'm sure they were."

"And you know what the best part about dating a cop who has cop friends and being a medical examiner?"

"What?" Kate asked, slightly apprehensive of Lanie's answer.

"If he does something bad, I can kill him and you guys will take the case and pass it off as random violence, and I can fudge the autopsy reports. No one will know it was murder," Lanie said, slightly sadistic.

"What a great abuse of power," said Kate dryly.

"What's the point of having it if you can't abuse it?"

Kate rolled her eyes and stood from the couch. "You wanna watch a movie?"

"Sure girl, but you really don't have such great selections," Lanie said, making a face.

"What do you mean?"

"Girl, all your movies are cop movies. You don't have a single romantic comedy."

"I have _Police Academy_," Kate said in defense.

"Babe, that movie was made over twenty years ago. Don't you have something newer?"

"I have _Hot Fuzz_; that's from 2007."

"What's it about?"

"Umm, I don't know. I've never seen it. My dad got it for me for my birthday a couple years ago," said Kate. She picked up the box and began to read the back. "It looks like it's about a large town cop who's really, really good who gets transferred to a small town and had to work with an annoying partner on a crazy, mysterious case."

"That sounds just like you and writer boy."

"Not really," said Kate, cocking her head.

"Let's give it a try."

Kate popped the disk into the DVD player and set it up. She went to sit on the couch with Lanie and grabber her bowl of partially melted ice cream.

The opening credits came up and Lanie and Kate were immediately pulled into fits of laughter. Between the British accents, and the ridiculousness of the characters, the movie was just what they were looking for.

Kate had to admit – the relationship between the two partners was somewhat like hers and Castle's, but the only difference was that Castle was at least a little bit smart. Watching the movie reminded Kate why she didn't like working with a partner. It wasn't arrogance, it was the fact that she wanted to find the murderer, and didn't want to deal with annoying people who stood in her way.

"You know, girl, for a cop movie, this isn't so bad," gasped Lanie, about half way through the film.

"Yeah, I'm surprised my dad could pick something so funny."

"I can't believe you haven't seen this before. We should watch it with the whole gang."

Kate smiled at the thought. They were a family at the 12th, and she loved every moment they spent together. They went through everything together, and no matter what, they stuck together.

"Yeah, I can just see Ryan and Esposito making fun of it and trying to solve it themselves. I wouldn't be surprised if they bring out a murder board."

"No, sweetie, that would be _you_."

Kate rolled her eyes and swatted Lanie in the arm, "Shut up."

They watched the rest of the movie in silence, enjoying being in each other's company. With their rigorous schedules and unpredictable hours, girl's nights were not a common occurrence.

"Okay, babe, it's late, I gotta get going, or else Javi will be wondering where I am."

"What, are you two living together or something?" Kate asked jokingly.

"Are you kidding me? No, he just sleeps over a lot. I told him I'd be here, but he still gets worried."

"Do you need me to escort you home? I have a gun," teased Kate.

"Oh shut up, I'll be fine."

"Okay. Thanks for coming tonight, Lanie. It was really fun. We should do it again sometime."

" We better, girlfriend. I'll see you tomorrow. Night," said Lanie, walking out the door.

"Night," replied Kate shutting the door to her apartment.

Kat turned to the living room and cleaned up briefly. She put the wine glasses and bowls in the sink, refolded the blanket they used, and put the ice cream in the freezer. She took one last look at the living room and satisfied with what she saw, she went to her room to draw a nice warm bubble bath.

The night had been relaxing, especially after the case. It wasn't a grueling case, compared to some that she had worked on, but it took a toll on her, just like any other cases.

Sinking into her free standing tub, Kate sighed as the hot water soothed her aching muscles. The cherry scent of the bubbles helped clear her head of any thoughts that would ruin her peaceful time. She took her copy of _Heat Wave_ from the table next to the tub and began reading. She got lost in the world of Nikki Heat and Jameson Rook. She smiled at the parts that reminded her so strongly of her moments with Castle at the precinct.

When the water finally went cold, Kate pulled herself out of the bath and wrapped herself in a fluffy towel. She mechanically went through the motions of getting ready for bed. Laying down in bed, Kate reached for _Heat Wave_ and continued reading. She hardly got through two pages before her eyes grew heavy. She put down the book and turned off the light on her bedside table. Kate burrowed into her comforter and closed her eyes. Within minutes, she was asleep.

* * *

><p>"Good morning, Detective Beckett," said Castle, placing a coffee cup on her desk.<p>

"Morning, Castle."

"So, what's on the agenda for today?"

"Just the paperwork," she said, motioning towards to pile of files on her desk.

"Sounds like fun. I'll watch."

"Castle, that's creepy."

"Too bad, I'm your shadow," said Castle, shrugging his shoulders.

Kate rolled her eyes and turned back to her files. She worked steadily for a half an hour, doing mind numbing paperwork. Before being a cop, she never knew how much paperwork was required to convict someone. She was in the middle of writing up the post-arrest report when her phone rang.

"Beckett," she answered formally.

"Detective Beckett?" a female voice asked.

"Yes this is she. May I ask who is calling?"

"My name is Joanne Delgado. You worked on my mother's case two years ago. The one with the jewel thieves," Joanne said timidly.

"Yeah, I remember. What can I do for you?"

"Remember how you told me that I could call you to talk if I needed to?"

"Of course."

"Do you have time today?"

"Yeah, it's a slow day. Would you like to come down to the station?"

"Thank you. I can be there in an hour, is that all right?"

"That's fine. I'll notify the security downstairs. They'll bring you up."

"Thank you, Detective."

"My pleasure. See you in an hour."

Kate hung up the phone feeling slightly confused. She remembered the woman well. Joanne had challenged her in the conference room when Kate was telling her about her mother's death. What Joanne had said struck a chord in her. Joanne was in Public Relations and wrote all the speeches given after tragedies, and what she needed was for Kate to tell her the truth, not a platitude. And that was just what Kate did. Kate also remembered how important it was for Joanne to know that the latter didn't have to handle it alone. Kate had given her a card, something that she didn't do very often, especially after a case was closed. Kate sensed that Joanne might need someone to talk with. Surprisingly, Kate ever heard from Joanne again until today, when she called.

"What was that about?" Castle asked, breaking Kate from her trip down memory lane.

"Do you remember that case with the jewel thieves?"

"You mean the one with Pao and that stunningly hot dress?"

Kate rolled her eyes at the parts that Castle remembered from the night. "Yeah, that one."

"Of course I remember. They didn't strike again, did they?"

"Don't worry, they're locked up tight. No, do you remember the daughter, Joanne Delgado?"

"I think so. She's the one who worked in PR, right?"

"Yeah. She just called and said that she wanted to talk to me."

"Huh, I wonder what it could be about."

"You and me both."

Kate turned back to her work, trying to concentrate. The phone call she got from Joanne threw her off. She rarely heard from people in the victim's families – they didn't want to talk to her after the case was solved. It had been nearly two years since she solved that case.

Before she knew it, she got a call from downstairs.

"Beckett…yes, please bring her up…thank you," she said, placing the phone in its cradle. "Okay Castle, I'm going to talk to Joanne. You stay here."

"What if I get bored?"

"Go bother Ryan and Esposito. I'm sure you guys can find some kind of metro sexual thing to do together."

"Oh how you wound me, Detective," Castle said, smiling.

"I'll get you a band-aid later."

"Detective Beckett?" came a voice to her left. Kate looked up and saw a face she hadn't seen in years.

"Hello, Ms. Delgado, what can I do for you?" she asked.

"Is there somewhere we can go talk?"

"Of course," Kate said, leading the way to a conference room. "Did something happen, Ms. Delgado?"

"Please, call me Joanne," the younger woman said. Kate nodded. "Do you remember how you said that I could call if I ever needed to talk?"

"Of course, what's the matter?"

"I got engaged last week," she said.

"Congratulations. He's a lucky man," Kate replied smiling. Joanne sat down at the table and Kate brought her a glass of water. Joanne muttered a thanks.

"Have you ever been married, Detective?" Joanne asked.

"I'm not here working on a case with you; you can call me Kate. And no, I have not. Why?"

"It's just that, I always imagined the day I got engaged to be the happiest day of my life. Other than my wedding, of course," Joanne began. Kate could see tears forming in her eyes. "But whenever I had thought about it as a kid, I always thought that my mom would be there to give me a hug and to cry with me when I found the perfect dress. I don't know how to do it without her."

Kate took a deep breath. She didn't really know how to help Joanne, because Kate herself had never been married. But Kate did what she did best – empathize.

"Joanne," Kate began. She paused a moment to collect her thoughts. She had almost slipped up and said 'Johanna.' Though the names were different, Kate couldn't help but think of her mother whenever she said Joanne. "I've never been married or engaged, so I can't tell you exactly how to deal with it, but I have thought about what it would be like to plan a wedding without my mother. Let me tell you this. I know that you're going to be missing your mother more than ever in the next few months. Weddings are supposed to be a time for family and a time for joy and celebrating life. Going dress shopping is something that you should do with your mother. Everything else in a wedding, as well – picking the flowers, the music, the bridesmaids dresses, even the china, but you can't think about it as what you're doing without your mother. I'm sure it will be harder for you than some of your friends who have both of their parents, but you have to believe that your mother is watching you and helping with your decisions."

"But how am I supposed to do it without her support?"

"Joanne, you're not without her support. Sure, she won't be there to give you a hug when things get tough, but she's in your heart and your mind. Even though I've never planned a wedding, I've made other decisions, and during every single one of them, I've thought 'what would mom think?' or 'would mom like that?' Your mother is a part of you, and anything you chose will have her in it."

"But what about the dress?" Joanne asked, tears falling down her face. Kate got up to get a box of tissues and held them out for Joanne. "That is something that is a mother daughter thing. How can I do it without her?"

"Just like you can do everything else. Bring people who you trust and who you care about. I'm sure every person you bring will be thinking about the person who isn't there but should be. No matter what you chose, you're mother isn't going anywhere."

"I just never thought that I would be planning my wedding and my mother isn't even here," Joanne said.

"No one likes to think that they're going to be planning the biggest day of their life without the most important person in their life, but tragedies happen, and it makes us stronger people. Their death becomes a part of our life. We carry it with us always and everything we do is in the name of their life. Is that true for you?" Kate asked, looking into Joanne's red rimmed eyes.

"Yes. Ever since her death, the PR speeches that I draft don't sound as corny anymore. They're no longer just words that I write, but they come from my heart. I now know what it's like for all the families, and I want to do everything in my power to make it easier for them to move on with their lives."

"See? Your mother has been with you ever since that night. She's pushed you to become a better person. You're strong, Joanne. You wanna know how I know? Because you came to me to talk. You're letting people share your grief with you. That is the true markings of someone who is strong."

"You didn't let people in, did you, Kate?" Joanne asked, observing Kate.

"No, I didn't. I built walls and shut people out. I did everything in my power to protect myself from feeling that kind of pain again."

"You should open yourself, Kate. I see that you still have that writer around. I remember you two. I think you should let him in."

Kate smiled briefly. "Thank you, Joanne."

"Kate, what if I can't do it?"

"Do what?"

"The planning, the wedding. What if I can't do with without her?"

"Joanne, listen to me. You can do anything you want. Your mother is in your heart; trust me, she'll be happy with anything as long as it makes you happy. I can imagine that right now you feel lost and scared, but if you just take a deep breath and remind yourself that your mother never left you, then you'll be all set. My mother had an immutable law. She didn't think that life ever gives you something that you can't handle. Just remember that," said Kate, reaching across the table to take Joanne's clasped hands in hers.

"Thank you, Kate. This means a lot."

"Of course, Joanne. And if you ever need to talk, you know where to find me." Kate smiled at the young woman who had come so far from the person Kate had met nearly two years ago.

Joanne nodded, and stood up from the table. "I should get going. I have to meet with my fiancee and planner about the invitations," she said, nearly in a whisper.

"Just remember, she's in your heart," replied Kate with a gentle smile.

Joanne looked at Kate once more before hurrying out of the precinct, her head bowed. Kate left the conference room, feeling pensive. Her talk with Joanne made her think about what it would be like when it would be her turn to plan a wedding. Could she be as strong as Joanne is? Could she do it without the support of her mother? Would she turn into a hypocrite?

Kate stared blankly ahead, pondering the implications of being engaged and being committed to someone for life.

"Hey," said Castle, walking towards Kate with a steaming mug of coffee. "Are you okay?"

Kate looked up and smiled slightly at her partner. "Yeah. Thanks," she said, taking the mug.

"Oh, it's not coffee. I made you some cocoa; it's more calming. You looked like you could use some," Castle explained when Kate took a sip and looked confused. "Do you want to sit down?"

Kate, still far into her own mind, sat in her desk chair.

"Beckett?" Castle asked. Still no response. "Detective? Kate?"

"What?" said Kate, looking startled.

"You're in your own little universe. Are you sure everything is okay?" Castle looked concerned. He had seen Kate in many different moods, but he had only seen this one once or twice.

"Yeah, no, I'm fine," said Kate, waving him off.

"What did Joanne Delgado want?"

"Um, she just wanted to talk to me about how to cope. You know, with planning a wedding without her mother." Kate looked at her desk, absently tracing some odd markings that were from years of frustrated key tossing and pushing too hard when filling out paperwork.

"I'm sure that was hard," said Castle, still dead serious.

"Yeah, well, I told her that she could come to me for anything. I just wasn't expecting her to ask me everything she did." Kate unconsciously reached for the thin chain that wrapped around her neck. She felt the cold metal of the ring pressing against her sternum, now warm from her body heat.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"No, thanks, Castle."

"Always."

Kate smiled and took another sip of her cocoa. Castle was right – cocoa was just what she needed. Kate didn't want to feel hyped up on caffeine at the moment, she just wanted comfort.

"Um, I'm going to go make a call. I'll be back," said Kate, grabbing her phone, the mug of cocoa, and heading towards the elevators.

She left the precinct and got into her car. She wasn't going to go anywhere, but she wanted the privacy that her car had.

Kate took out her phone and took a deep breath. The call she was going to make would be hard, but it felt right after what she had just gone through. She opened the number pad and pressed Speed Dial number 3. She pulled the ring from her shirt and toyed with it in her hand. She waited for four rings before the person on the other end picked up.

"Hi Dad," she said, feeling her voice waver. Her weekly dinner with her father was scheduled for a couple nights, but she just wanted to talk to him.

* * *

><p>After a nice long conversation with her father, and quite a few tears shed – some on her side, but mostly his – she felt composed enough to return to the precinct.<p>

"Hey, I was about to send a search tam out for you," joked Castle when she sat at her desk.

Kate rolled her eyes. She picked up a file and began checking boxes before answering him. "Don't worry, Castle. I didn't leave the building. And anyway, this is a precinct. I'm perfectly safe."

"I just wanted to be sure."

Kate was touched by how much he cared. Every day, she was surprised by the compassion he showed. She wasn't one to let people into her heart easily, but somehow, Castle made it in. She wasn't ready to admit it to herself yet, at least not that he had made it in a romantic way, but she was ready to admit that he held a special place in her heart.

She sat at her desk working for a couple of hours. The precinct was eerily quiet, seeing as most of the other homicide teams were out and about, or in interrogation rooms. The buzz of her phone was a sound that wasn't exactly welcome in the precinct. It broke the beautiful silence that there was (except for the humming of the air conditioning).

Kate picked up her phone and read the incoming message.

_You up for a date tonight? I'm off and would love to get takeout and watch a movie. You in? xo—Josh _

Kate smiled to herself. After the emotional day she just had, a night in with Josh sounded perfect. She opened the keyboard and sent him a short message in return.

_Sounds great. Chinese sound good? See you at 7. –Kate_

"Motorcycle Boy?" Castle asked, looking up from his iPhone.

"Castle, how many times do I have to ask you to not call him that?"

"Dr. Motorcycle Boy?" Castle tried again. Beckett roller her eyes, seeing that he was incorrigible. "Well?"

"There's a reason it's called a _private life_, Castle. I doubt you have one," Kate said with a smile.

"Detective, that was not polite. Anyway, your loss. Alexis was hoping you'd come over for that movie tonight."

"Sorry, Castle, but I have plans."

"A ha! So you _do_ have plans with Dr. Motorcycle Boy."

"What am I gonna do with you, Castle?" she asked sarcastically.

"Beckett, can I talk to you for a moment?" the Captain asked, poking his head out from his office.

"Of course, Sir," she answered, getting up from her desk and walking to his office. "What do you need, Sir?"

"How much more paperwork do you have?"

"I don't know, probably a couple hours worth, at least."

"Beckett, it's already three o'clock. It doesn't look like any bodies are dropping today, so I want you to go home at five sharp, am I clear?"

"But, Sir, my paperwork—" Kate said.

"Will still be there tomorrow. I saw you talking to that woman earlier, and it clearly shook you up. I want you to go home at five and get a good night's sleep. You'll be on call, but there's no reason for you to be at the precinct. I'll see you at nine tomorrow morning, unless we have a body," Montgomery said in a soft, but commanding tone.

"Yes, Sir," Kate said as she walked from his office.

As hard as she tried to work until five, her mind kept wandering. She thought about her conversation with Joanne and her talk with her Dad. The both missed her mom so much, and sometimes, Kate felt that it was the only thing that connected the two.

Kate didn't want to dwell on it anymore. She was getting too down and she knew that that would go down a bad path. She worked steadily until the clock chimed five.

"Okay boys, I'm out. See you tomorrow," she said, shutting down her computer and getting her belongings from the desk drawer. She left the precinct, leaving three very confused men in her wake.

"Did Beckett just leave at five without a struggle?" Ryan asked, coming over to Castle.

"Yeah," confirmed Castle.

"Do you think something is wrong?" asked Esposito.

"I don't know. She seemed pretty shaken up by the talk she had earlier with the family member of one of our old vics," Castle explained.

"Huh. I hope everything's okay," said Ryan, concern lining his face.

"I'm sure it will be fine. She's going home to Josh anyway. He'll cheer her up," Castle said, pain flickering in his eyes. Ryan and Esposito saw it, but chose not to comment. "Okay guys, if Beckett's out, I'm out. See you all tomorrow," he said, collecting his things and leaving the precinct.

"Man, it feels depressing in here," noted Ryan.

"Dude, we work with dead people," said Esposito, as if he were talking to a deranged person.

"No, I mean, did you see Beckett's face? Something's not right."

"Yeah, I saw bro. Let's just hope Josh is treating her well. If not, we're cops. We know how to hide a body and we can Lanie to do the autopsy. It's the perfect crime."

"Are you guys abusing your power as cops to get away with murder?" asked Montgomery, coming out of his office. There was a hint of joking in his voice that let the boys know that he wasn't being serious. "Because you do know I'd have to report you."

"Sorry, Cap, just makin' jokes," Esposito said.

"Just make sure it doesn't happen. I hate to have to arrest you for murder and your team mates for conspiracy to commit murder. It wouldn't be good for the twelfth if we lost our best team to murder," joked Montgomery.

"Yes, Sir," Ryan and Esposito said, smiling. Montgomery chuckled to himself before returning to his office and closing the door.

* * *

><p>"Hey Josh, thanks for coming," Kate said, opening the door. She had gotten home a couple hours earlier and taken the time to take a long, hot bath and a short, refreshing nap.<p>

"Of course, Katie," answered Josh, placing a tender kiss on her lips. "I brought a movie. _Serendipity_. It seemed like your type. Are you okay?" Josh added, after seeing the bags under Kate's eyes.

"Yeah, I'm fine, I just have a tough day at work," she replied, using her easy lie to get out of answering Josh's question.

"Okay," he said, still a little skeptical. "Here, I brought some dinner, wine and chocolate." Josh pulled a bottle of red wine from his bag and a box of Godiva chocolates.

"Thanks, Josh," said Kate, smiling. She took the wine and poured them both a glass and put the chocolates on her coffee table. She took the steaming bag of food and smiled as she inhaled the sweet scent of her favorite Chinese restaurant. She opened the containers, and after finding her favorite dish, she grabbed a pair of chopsticks and plopped herself down on the couch.

"You coming?" she asked Josh who was still standing at the counter.

"Just watching you. You're so beautiful," he said, smiling broadly. "I love it when you don't wear a lot of makeup, and when your hair is kind of messy because it's drying. I love it when you wear your casual clothes and the way you eat your food."

"Okay, Josh, that's a little creepy," she said, laughing at him. He just laughed back and sat beside her, starting the movie.

Kate got lost in the story between John Cusack and Kate Beckinsale. She couldn't help but remember when Castle told her that Kate Beckinsale should play Nikki Heat in the movie. She laughed, because she realized that Beckinsale might not be an awful choice, except that they had already chosen Natalie Rhodes. Kate was just glad that Natalie wasn't in New York anymore.

She groaned inwardly as the two missed each other once more, coming so close to finding each other. She supposed that's how relationships went – the two people can come so close so many times, just to let one thing get in the way and make their dream slip away.

Kate nestled deeper into the crook of Josh's arm, enjoying that they were finally on a good path. The characters, John and Sara, had just missed each other at Serendipity when Kate felt her phone vibrate under her. She pulled it from her pocket and looked at the message.

_The crew is going to the Old Haunt. You and Josh are welcome. We'll be there at 8:30. Come if you want. –RC_

Kate couldn't help but notice that Castle had said 'Josh.' He must really want her to come tonight.

"Hey Josh," Kate began.

"Yeah?"

"Do you want to go to the Old Haunt?"

"With whom?"

"The guys from the precinct."

"Will Castle be there?"

"Yeah, he's the one who invited me. He wants you to come."

Josh sighed. He had no desire to hang out with Kate's friends from work, but he thought that if she was going to make the effort, so would he.

"Sure, I'd love to."

"Great, I'm going to get changed, and then we can go. We're supposed to meet them at 8:30," said Kate, getting up from the couch. She walked into her bedroom and pulled out her phone.

_We'll be there. See you soon. –KB_

Castle's reply was short and to the point.

_:) –RC_

**Okay, yay, time for my long AN. Going from the top down:**

**I hope you liked the Kate/Lanie scene. I had a lot of fun with it. Also, I just wanted to establish some of Kate's background, especially since we know she had been a bridesmaid six times. I took some liberties with it - please forgive me.**

**Next. The scene with Kate and Joanne had been floating around in my head for a while and it was begging to be written. I hope you think it's in character and believable. Personally, I think it turned out well.**

**I added the stuff after Kate left the precinct, because we've really only seen her POV in the story and I wanted to show some on the other "boys" (as Josh calls them) and what they were thinking.**

**I think that's it - fairly short by my standards, eh? Please leave me a review and let me know whether you liked it or not. Next chapter is the gang at the Old Haunt with some fun with Josh. I'm also going to bring in something else from an old episode, some drama in the Josh/Kate department and some Caskett moments for all of you who want Josh out of the picture.**

**It should be up in the next two days or so. Best, Mangotango101**


	8. Chapter 8

**This one is a little shorter, but I hope you don't mind. I took some liberties with Jenny's character, because we don't know much about her. I hope it lives up to your standards, and you enjoy the imperritive Josh annoying.**

**I can't tell if I'm 100% happy with this chapter, so please let me know what you think and I might go back and tweak it.**

**Sorry if it's a little complicated to keep straight, because I have about 3 different conversations going at the same time. Each different one is marked with a line. Hope you can understand what's going on.**

**I'll have more notes at the end. Enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Castle or any of the characters/places. This is for entertainment purposes only and no copyright infringement is intended.**

**Chapter 8**

"Hey guys," said Kate, greeting the crowd at the Old Haunt. "You all remember Josh."

Her coworkers nodded, smiling. Kate took a seat next to Lanie and Josh slid in across from her. The group took a collective intake of breath.

"What?" Josh asked, looking around.

"That's Castle's seat," said Ryan tentatively.

"What?" Josh asked again.

"Castle always sits there. You can pull up a chair, though."

Josh gave Kate an uncertain look, but let to go find an unoccupied chair to pull over. The crowd suddenly looked uncomfortable. The couples were shooting each other speculative looks. None of them were sure why Castle had invited Kate's boyfriend, but they weren't at liberty to comment.

"Where is Castle, anyway?" Kate asked, shrugging out of her coat.

"He's getting drinks," explained Esposito.

"Ah," said Kate.

"Hey Beckett, you made it," came a happy voice.

"Wouldn't miss it, Castle. You remember, _Josh_," said Kate, putting extra emphasis on Josh's name.

"Of course I do. How are you doing, man?" greeted Castle. Everyone but Josh saw the strain in Castle's usually easygoing smile. They all noticed how Castle's posture changed subtly. It went from laidback and carefree to stiffer, as if he were trying to impress Josh.

"I'm doing well thanks. So, remind me your names," said Josh, taking a beer from where Castle had put them down. Starting with Lanie, the group went around introducing themselves.

"Lanie, Kate's best friend." Lanie looked at Josh as if sizing him up.

"Esposito, Beckett's partner." Esposito stared Josh down, daring him to hurt Kate.

"Ryan, Beckett's other partner." Ryan had the same expression on his face as Esposito.

"Jenny, Ryan's fiancée." Jenny, slightly more oblivious to the situations than the others, smiled, albeit coolly.

"Oh, congratulations," Josh said, smiling warmly.

"Thank you."

"And I'm Rick Castle," Castle said with a flourish. "Beckett's plucky sidekick." Beckett rolled her eyes.

"Why do you all call each other by your last names?" Josh asked, taking a sip of his beer.

"I dunno," started Esposito. "Habit, I guess."

"Yeah, we use them for work, so…," Ryan trailed off.

"So did you hear about the murder case that Karpowski's team got?" Lanie asked, taking the attention off of Josh.

"Yeah, wasn't it something like a guy who got stabbed in the shape of a smiley face?" Castle asked, smiling weirdly.

"Close. Instead of dots for the eye, they were x's," replied Lanie.

"Whoa, now _that's_ Beckett flavored," teased Ryan.

"I wish you'd stop saying that. It makes me sound so…sadistic," said Kate, smiling.

"Beckett, have you seen the kinds of cases you get?" Esposito asked, leaning around Lanie.

Kate rolled her eyes, knowing that Esposito was right. She did get all the crazy cases.

"Hey, why didn't we get that one?" asked Castle.

"Because we were too busy driving to and from White Plains and catching an elusive drug lord," answered Kate, speaking as if he were stupid.

"Aww, but the other case sounded like so much fun," complained Castle.

"Well let me tell you, it wasn't fun for him. Apparently, the killer had put enough thought into it that he stabbed the smile first and let the guy bleed out for a while before stabbing the x's. Must have taken the vic a half an hour to die."

"Have they closed the case yet?" Jenny asked. She was used to all the cop talk that surrounded her fiancée. She really liked hearing their stories from work, especially when they were funny.

"Nope. It's the kind that keeps them going in circles."

"Why would someone stab someone else to death?" Josh asked. Kate ducked her head slightly – not enough for Josh to notice, but everyone at the table who knew about Kate's mother's murder noticed her acute change in posture.

"There are so many reasons, and sometimes, we just don't know," said Castle, trying to make eye contact with Kate, but she kept her eyes glued to the table in front of her. The others were looking on wonder at Josh, intrigued, and a little surprised by how little he knew about Kate's past. Even Jenny knew what happened to Kate's mother.

"But don't you always get the killer? You know, like in the books," Josh persisted.

"No," said Kate suddenly and harshly. "It's not always like in the books. Sometimes killers go free and the families don't get closure or justice. It's our job to make sure that happens as infrequently as possible, but sometimes we just don't get him. Excuse me," she said, quickly getting up from the booth and hurrying to the bathroom.

She didn't mean to lose her cool with Josh, but he was being so insensitive. It was partially her fault – she had never told him anything about her mother's murder, so how was he supposed to know how close to home he just hit? Even so, she couldn't stand listening to Josh go on about the case as if it were a book. That was the one thing he never understood about her job – it wasn't like in the books. Sure, he read Castle's books, but that's _all_ he knew about the world in which she lived. He thought cases were always solved, and justice was always served.

"Excuse me, too," said Lanie, following Beckett quickly.

"What did I do?" asked Josh naively. Castle looked at him blankly and Jenny just stared at him with wide eyes while Ryan and Esposito shook their heads at him sadly. "What?"

"You really don't have a clue, do you, bro?" asked Esposito.

"Clearly not…," said Josh, looking slightly scared. He was, after all, in a booth with two armed cops.

"Well if Beckett hasn't told you, it's not our place to. But let me tell you something. Our job is nothing like what Castle writes—" began Esposito.

"Hey! You know, there _is_ a reason I've been tagging along for the past few years," interrupted Castle. Esposito silenced him with a look. "Right, sorry. Shutting up now."

"Being a cop isn't as easy as it seems."

"Yeah man," Ryan chimed in. "We face dudes with guns and guys that can put people through walls—"

"Not cool, bro, not cool," said Esposito, shaking his head.

"Point is, Josh, is that Beckett is the best homicide detective in the city. She has a more painful history than any of us would care to even imagine, so she feels these things deeper than all of us. So don't ever talk about cops always closing cases."

"Why?" Josh asked. The boys and Jenny looked at him like he was an imbecile.

"It's a sore point with Beckett," said Castle quietly. They could barely hear him over the din of the bar.

"Okay…," said Josh, still not sure why Kate's team mates wouldn't tell him.

"But while we're on the subject, we're cops," began Esposito, using his best bad-cop voice. "Lanie? She's a medical examiner. She can falsify autopsy reports. If you hurt Beckett in any way, we will kill you and make sure that no one ever finds your body. We're homicide detectives, so we've seen our share of ways to kill people, and hide the evidence. It will be slow and painful."

Josh fidgeted in his chair, uncomfortable with the looks that Ryan and Esposito were giving him.

"Beckett is like our older sister. We're family. You mess with family, it won't look good for you," added Ryan.

"Boys, don't worry. I'm not going to hurt Kate. She's one of the greatest things that has ever happened to me. I love her," said Josh. He was looking so intently at the pair of detectives that he didn't notice the writer slowly getting up and walking to the bar. But Jenny did.

"Excuse me for a moment," Jenny said, poking Ryan so he would move to let her out. Ryan had so much experience interrogating suspects that he knew how to move without once breaking eye contact.

Jenny slid out of the booth and went to the bar to go talk to Castle. Ryan got back into the booth and turned his whole body towards Josh.

"You were saying," said Esposito.

"I love Kate, and she loves me."

Ryan and Esposito glanced at each other, neither believing Josh for a moment. They turned to josh with identical looks of skepticism.

"Kate means the world to me. I feel so lucky every day that I get to go and see her after a long shift. I love sitting and watching a movie and eating take out with her. I love taking long walks with her. I love treating her to fancy dinners. I love being there for her when she needs me."

"So when are you leaving again?" asked Ryan.

"In about a month."

"A month. How long will you be gone?"

"Four."

"That's an awful long time, isn't it, Esposito," Ryan said, turning to his partner. They were on the same page. They were no longer having a drink with friends; they were in an interrogation.

"Yeah, it is. Are you going to do anything special for Beckett before you leave?" Esposito asked, staring Josh down.

"I hadn't really planned anything. We were just going to have fun and enjoy the time we had before I left," Josh said, shifting his gaze from one cop to the other.

"Huh, I think Beckett deserves something a little more special, don't you think, Ryan?" Esposito asked his partner.

"For sure, bro," Ryan answered. He turned back to Josh. "You better think of something good, man."

Josh opened his mouth to protest. He was getting annoyed at the detectives for questioning him about Kate. That was their life, and Josh knew that Kate tried to keep her private life private. He didn't feel like it was right for her team to be interrogating him. He wasn't a suspect.

At that moment, Castle and Jenny returned.

"You're lucky, Josh," said Esposito, leaning back and taking a sip of his beer. Ryan also sat back, turning off his detective mode. "Hey sweetie, I missed you," he said to Jenny, kissing her cheek.

"Kevin, stop," she giggled.

"Why should I?" he asked, nuzzling her hair.

"Dude, we're in public," said Esposito, shaking his head and looking at Ryan funny.

"He's right, you know. This isn't the time to be all mushy," said Castle. "Honeymilk," he added loud enough for Esposito and Ryan to hear, but quiet enough that Jenny didn't hear. Esposito smiled and fed the birds.

"I'm going to go check on Beckett and Lanie," said Castle, knocking back the last of his drink. "I'll be right back."

Castle got up to check on the ladies room, and Josh was once again, apprehensive of being in the company of the two detectives. Luckily, Jenny was there, so Josh was off the hook. Sort of.

* * *

><p>Kate closed the bathroom door, taking a deep breath. She squeezed her eyes shut, praying that the tears would stay away. She hadn't meant to bite Josh's head off, but the way he had so brazenly said those things about closing cases and stabbing people to death just made her so mad. It still hurt every day that she didn't have closure for her mom's murder. It still hurt her every day to think that he was still walking the streets, probably not even caring how much pain he caused. But of course Josh didn't know any of her history.<p>

She moved to stand over the sink and looked in the mirror. The face that stared her back almost didn't seem like her own. The women in the glass had eyes that were haunted and glossy with unshed tears. Her shoulders sagged, different from Kate's usual straight back. The woman facing Kate was a hollow imitation of herself. Kate was shocked every time she saw the ghost of herself in the mirror.

"Hey, girl, you okay?" asked Lanie, stepping into the bathroom.

"I'm sorry, Lanie, I just got caught up," said Kate, jerking from her thoughts. She met the ME's eyes in the mirror. Kate saw compassion and love in those eyes.

"It's okay. You're allowed to get mad. He was being pretty insensitive," Lanie said, moving closer.

"He couldn't have known," Kate said quietly.

"You mean you never told him?" Lanie asked, surprised. Kate shook her head. "He's your boyfriend."

"I know. I just never felt comfortable telling him," Kate nearly whispered. She turned around and scooted up to sit on the counter near the sink.

"How much does he know?" asked Lanie, moving to Kate's side, stroking her shoulder.

"He knows that my mom died. He doesn't know she was murdered."

"Does he know about your dad?"

Kate shook her head.

"Girl, you gotta tell him. I bet your anything that he's out there getting his ear chewed out by the boys. But I know that they'd never tell him. He'll probably ask, so are you ready to share that with him?"

"I don't know, Lanie. I don't like telling people about my mother, because it makes me feel vulnerable. Josh has only seen me as a strong, independent cop, and I don't want him to see me weak," Kate said. She hung her head, knowing that it sounded stupid even to her ears.

"Girl, that's the craziest thing you've said to me since you told me I inhaled too many autopsy fluids."

Kate rolled her eyes and smiled slightly at the memory.

"I'm serious, sweetie, Josh needs to know this about you."

"I know Lanie, but he's leaving in a month, and I don't want to put myself out there just so he can up and leave again."

"Wait a sec, he's leaving in a month?"

"Yeah."

"For how long?"

"Four months."

"Oh sweetie, I'm so sorry."

"It's okay, Lanie. I'm a big girl, I can take care of myself."

"M hm," said Lanie, not believing Kate for a moment. "Are you going to be okay?"

"Yeah. But can we just stay in here for a while? I don't feel like dealing with Castle right now," Kate said. She was glad she had come – she loved spending time with her friends, but being with Castle and Josh was just awkward.

"Sure, baby," Lanie said, perching herself on the sink with Kate.

She thought about what Kate had said, and realized that she was just being stupid. Even after years of trying to get Kate to come to terms with her feelings for Castle, and even after losing hundreds of dollars on them, she still didn't understand Kate's hesitation. Sure, she got that if their relationship didn't work out then it would be awkward at the precinct for a while, but eventually, Castle would weasel his way back in, just like all the other times. In any case, they were already more like a couple than Kate and Josh could ever be. The only thing that was missing from Kate's relationship with Castle was the sexual aspect. Wait, no, they had enough sexual tension to fill the entire precinct. The only thing that was missing was the sex itself.

Lanie felt a weight on her shoulder and saw that Kate had rested her head. Lanie was surprised – Kate was hardly ever the touchy feely kind of girl, and leaning on someone was _not_ something Kate did.

"You sure you're okay, sweetie?" Lanie asked again, tilting her head so she could look at Kate.

The latter picked up her head and looked sadly at Lanie.

"I really want it to work between Josh and me, but I can't imagine telling him about my mom."

"You shouldn't if you don't feel comfortable," said Lanie, comfortingly.

"I know, but how can we move forward if I'm not willing to let him in?"

"That's something only you can answer."

Kate took a deep breath. She looked at her father's watch and realized that they had been gone for a long time. "We should get back. They'll be wondering about us," said Kate, hopping down from the sink. She splashed some water on her face and walked out of the bathroom. Lanie stood a moment longer, shocked by Kate's abrupt exit. After starting at the closing door for a few moments, Lanie hurried after her best friend.

* * *

><p>Rick left the table as soon as he heard that Josh loved Kate. No, Josh couldn't love Kate. No one could love Kate more than Rick.<p>

He went to the bar and ordered a stiff drink. He sat in an empty stool and took a sip. Before he could get too lost in his own thoughts, he felt someone sliding up next to him. He expected it to be some fan girl or someone who wanted his autograph, but when he turned to face the person, he was surprised to see Ryan's fiancée, Jenny.

"Hey Jenny," Rick said, turning to face her.

"Hey, Castle," she said back. "Could I please get a martini, dry?" she called to the bartender. "You okay?" she asked Rick.

"Dr. Motorcycle Boy is being annoying," he said, taking another sip.

"Dr. Motorcycle Boy?" Jenny asked, looking confused. She nodded in thanks when the bartender handed her the drink.

"Josh. He's a doctor and rides a motorcycle. Ka-Beckett doesn't like it when I call him that."

Jenny laughed. She thought Rick was funny and sweet, and she was glad that he was helping keep her Kevin alive.

"What about him?" Jenny asked.

"Everything. He's handsome, has a good job, but most of all, he seems to make Kate happy." Castle looked embarrassed at his slip up. He tried not to call her 'Kate' to anyone except his family and sometimes to her. Jenny noticed.

"You make Kate happy. I saw how her eyes lit up when you came to the table tonight. You're just as special to her."

"You're very observant," Castle said, surprised at how much she picked up during the night.

"I'm a therapist, it's kind of an occupational hazard," Jenny said with a laugh. "I can tell there's something else that's bothering you."

"Their relationship is a panda!" cried Castle, sounding like a young boy. Jenny jumped at his sudden exclamation as well as looked extremely confused.

"I'm perceptive, but I'm not _that_ perceptive," she said, laughing. Rick smiled, remembering when Ryan had used a phrase very like the one jenny had just used. It made him wonder who influences whom.

"It's just that Ka-Beckett and Josh are ying ying. Ying needs yang, not another ying. See, ying yang is harmony. Ying ying is a name for a panda," Castle explained. He felt a sense of déjà vu, and he remembered when he had said those exact words to Kate years ago when he had first met Sorenson.

"Okay…," said Jenny, looking at Castle weirdly.

"So Jenny, since you're a therapist, why don't you tell me what to do?"

"It's not that simple, but I think that Kate isn't going to leave Josh easily. If you want her, you need to prove to her that you're going to be there through thick and thin and that you're not going to leave again."

"I never wanted to leave," said Rick, looking at his almost empty glass.

"I'm sure you didn't, but you Kate doesn't seem like one who easily trusts people, and even though I know she trusts you with her life, you need to continue to show that you're going to be there for her, even if that means being happy for her relationship with Josh."

Rick smiled. The more he talked to Jenny, the more he liked the petite blonde. She was perfect for Ryan, and she was very insightful.

"Thanks, Jenny. So what do I do now?"

"You go back to that table and be Kate's partner. You be her best friend."

"Thanks again. Now how much do I owe you?" he asked grin.

Jenny laughed and said, "Don't worry, the first session is always free."

They slid off of their respective stools and began walking back to the table.

* * *

><p>"Oh, hey Castle," Kate said, starting as she opened the bathroom door. She hadn't expected him to come over.<p>

"Are you okay? Josh was out of line back there," he said, looking concerned.

"Yeah, I'm fine. Don't worry," she told him.

"Oh, writer boy, what are you doing here?" asked Lanie, emerging from the bathroom.

"Just coming to check on you ladies," he told her, flashing a charming smile.

"M hm."

"They're wondering where you are," Castle told the girls.

"Great, let's go back," said Kate, rushing to the table.

"Why's she in such a hurry?" Castle asked Lanie.

"Your guess is as good as mine. She's pretty broken up about the Josh thing that just happened."

Castle nodded, wishing that he could help make things better. "Shall we?" he asked Lanie, holding out his arm.

"Nuh uh, writer boy, Javi would have your head. Let's just walk," she said, shaking her head.

Together they walked back to the table just in time to see Josh opening his mouth.

"Hey Katie, is everything okay?" Josh asked, reaching for Kate's hand when she came back to the table.

"Yeah, everything is fine," she answered, gently pulling her hand back and ducking her head. She couldn't see, but the rest of the table was in shock that Josh had called Kate 'Katie.' No one except her father called her that.

Jenny decided to break the awkward silence. "So Kevin tells me stories at home, but can you tell me some funny ones?" Jenny asked, attempting to lighten the mood.

"Ooh, I have one," said Rick, bouncing in his seat. They all looked at him expectantly. Josh was exited to hear about their work, because he heard so little from Kate. Little did he know that the whole team had a silent pact that since they didn't like him, they would torture him with cute stories of Castle and Kate.

"Okay, so remember that case with the frozen woman? When Beckett and I were trying to put together the husband's timeline, we pretended to be married, and she wanted a divorce."

"You what? Why didn't you tell me, girl?" asked Lanie, appalled.

"I didn't think it was that important. Anyway, I said I wanted a divorce," said Kate, defensively.

"Dude, remember when we were in the van during the case with the tattooed Russians, and Castle was being held at gun point? Beckett told you to hand her her purse and you were, like, 'What are you gonna do? Lip gloss them to death?' and Beckett goes, 'something like that.'" Ryan asked Esposito, swatting him in the arm.

"It's creepy that you remember that, bro," Esposito said, shaking his head.

"Well what happened?" Josh asked. Kate blushed, remembering what she had to do to save Castle. Everyone looked a little uncomfortable, not really sure how to answer the question.

"She changed," said Castle, as if that explained everything. Josh gave him a weird look, but accepted the answer. When the latter looked at Kate for affirmation, she nodded her head with a small smile. He was glad he was hearing about Kate's work, but the more he listened, but more it sounded like she and Castle got into a lot of trouble, or in precarious situations. Josh was a little jealous of how much fun they all seemed to have together.

"You know what one of my favorites was?" asked Kate, finally joining in. "When we broke down that old woman's door because we thought a terrorist lived there, and then the boys, all tough in their vests and Esposito had his military grade gun, had tea and biscuits with cats everywhere."

They all laughed at the memory, remembering specifically when the old woman said the Captain's name with such disdain.

"Remember when Castle and Beckett both went of separate dates and then ended up leaving together after realizing that the pet store was involved?" Ryan asked, not noticing everyone subtly shaking their heads.

"Yeah, I remember," said Kate, doing everything to avoid Castle's gaze. She remembered that night and the flare of hot jealousy when she saw Castle with the blonde bimbo.

"When we had that baseball case, we went to the office, and Beckett got all flustered over 'Joe _Freakin'_ Torre.'" Castle added with a laugh.

"Shut up, Castle. My dad is still pretty jealous, actually," she said, laughing.

"Oh and when Castle got cursed," Esposito said, offering his own story.

"You were cursed?" Josh asked, suddenly interested. He had been trying to look disinterested, but a curse was something he couldn't _not_ be interested in. _Too bad it didn't do him in_, thought Josh.

"Yeah," said Kate. "He looked upon the face of the Mayan King and was cursed."

"When Beckett told us, we decided to trick him and make him think he was cursed. Beckett broke his chair, we rigged the espresso machine to explode, and a dog attacked him," said Esposito, laughing.

"That doesn't sound very nice," said Jenny, trying valiantly to hide her smile.

"Thank you," Castle said in gratitude that someone _finally_ understood that it wasn't funny.

"Oh come on, it was a little funny," said Ryan.

"You should have seen his face after he got stuck in the elevator," said Kate, outright laughing. Josh had never really seen her this carefree before and he wondered why she was never like this with him.

"No, that was just cruel," said Castle, making a horrified face. He took a swig of beer, pretending that he needed a drink to get over the awful memory.

"Okay, sure, Castle," Kate said, rolling her eyes.

"Guys, we talk about dead guys all day, and I _spend_ all day with dead people. Can we find something else to talk about?" Lanie asked.

"Okay, Chica, you want to take this show on the road?" asked Esposito, leaning in close. Lanie giggled, leaning towards her boyfriend.

"Sure thing, Babe," she said, turning to kiss him lightly on the mouth.

"Okay, ew," said Castle, wincing. The rest of the table laughed, agreeing with Castle.

"I guess we should get going, too," said Ryan, wrapping his arm around Jenny's waist.

"Wait, we didn't even get to talk about how I got this bar in the first place," complained Castle. "Or about Perlmutter."

"Another time, bro. I've got other things in mind," said Esposito.

"Yeah, Castle, we should be heading out. It's kind of late," Kate added, getting up from her seat.

"Thanks for inviting me, Castle," said Josh, holding out his hand.

"You're welcome, Josh. Kate, can I talk to you for a moment please?" he asked. He looked at Josh who clearly wasn't going anywhere. "In private?"

Kate looked from Josh to Castle before saying, "Sure."

They said their good byes to the rest of the crew, saying that they would all see each other the next day. A melee of thank yous and nice to meet yous went around as the other two detectives and their dates left the bar.

"Josh, I'll be back in a minute. You can wait here," said Kate, motioning for him to sit at the bar. He nodded and ordered a beer while he waited. He wasn't happy that Kate was going to talk to Castle without him, but there was nothing he could do about it.

* * *

><p>"You wanted to talk?" asked Kate.<p>

"Yeah," said Castle. "Come here." He led to her to quiet corner of the bar where there was a secluded table for two. "Have a seat," he said, pulling out a chair. She sat down, wondering what he could possibly want to talk about.

"Thank you for coming tonight," he began, looking straight into her eyes.

"Thanks for inviting me. And Josh. It was really nice of you," she said, not breaking the eye contact.

"I only thought it would be right. I just want you to know that I'm here for you," he said.

"I know that, Castle."

"No, as in, I'm not going to leave again. I'm your partner and your friend, so I just want you to know that I accept your relationship with Dr. Motorcycle Man."

Rick desperately wanted to tell Kate what she really felt about her relationship with him, but it wasn't his place. He didn't technically lie to her face, because he knew that deep down, he was happy for her. Rick wanted to be the best friend he could to her, because that was the most important thing to him - for Kate to be happy. As long as Kate was happy, even if it hurt him on the outside, somewhere in his heart, he would find it in him to be happy for her.

Kate looked at Castle strangely. She wondered why he was bringing this up now and not at some random appearance at her apartment. It unnerved her what he was saying. She half hoped that he would have gotten mad at her, because if he did, then she wouldn't have to worry about situations like the one she was in, where Castle was being all sweet and understanding.

"Okay…," she said, still confused.

"Look, I know I can come off as immature and annoying," he began.

Kate scoffed, interrupting him. "That would be an understatement," she said under her breath. Castle gave her an appraising look. "Sorry."

"But I just want you to be happy. I use my humor to lighten your job a little, but if Josh is what makes you happy, then I'll tone it down a notch."

Kate was touched by the level of sincerity he was showing. She didn't see the sentimental side of Castle very often, and she didn't really know how to deal with it. She could manage childish and innuendos, but when Castle said things that showed her that he cared it was hard for her to know what to do. When he had talks such that this one with her, she usually felt as though she needed to be more open with him as well, but she wasn't ready to be _that_ open with him.

"Thank you, Castle. And yeah, Josh and I are on a good path now."

"Are you glad he didn't go to Haiti?" Castle asked, smiling at her.

"Yeah. Yeah, I am. I feel like we're finally on the same page."

What Kate didn't mention was that even though she and Josh were on the same page, she felt as though she and Castle were on the same word. There were still huge amounts of thing about her that she hadn't told Josh, because she was keeping one foot out the door.

"Good, I'm glad you're happy, Kate," he said, standing up. "I'll let you go back now. Be safe. We're still on for tomorrow, right?" They were meeting to do some last minute planning for the fundraiser Rick was planning for the scholarship in Johanna Beckett's name.

Kate stood as well and Castle helped her into her coat. A simple gesture was almost more than she could handle. Josh had never helped her put on her coat before, and it was something so normal, yet so intimate. It was something couples did, not friends. Kate smiled at Castle in thanks, even though she was not a hundred percent comfortable with what he had just done.

She wondered what the implications were. Then she realized that there were no implications, because they were just friends. They were partners. Castle was just being a gentleman. But then why did she feel so touched when he helped her into her coat? She didn't feel anything like this when he saved her life. Sure, then she was grateful, but this was something else entirely. This was something that went deeper than emotions. Kate decided that she had to run. She had to get back to Josh and away from the confusing feelings that came with being with Castle.

"Yeah. I'll see you at one. Night, Castle," said Kate, walking towards Josh. She left Castle standing there watching her retreat.

"Always," he said to himself.

**Okay, so 1. I hope I put more explanations of the surroundings and people's reactions. I got a review requesting that, so to whoever suggested that...I hope this is better.**

**2. I tried to make the character's conversations in character, but as always, let me know if they're not. Especially the last one between Rick and Kate. I thought it was important for Kate to know that Rick was going to be okay with her relationship, as trying to be a friend. And to kinda foreshadow what might come next (dun dun duuun...)**

**3. I really enjoyed making Jenny's character, because we don't really see much of her. I thought therapist would work well in the situation, and it would be nice because she can be more perceptive.**

**4. Okay...Josh. I know you're all like "WHY THE HECK IS HE STILL AROUND?" and I'm just going to say this: This is a Caskett story, but not one that is full of fluff. It's a realistic story and knowing Kate's character, she's wouldn't just jump ship to Castle; and knowing Castle's character, he wouldn't abandon Kate just because she was with Josh. He knows how that ends (Season2...) So that being said: we WILL get to Castle and Beckett together, but Josh will be around for a while. Please don't let that be a turn off, because I promise, now that Josh and Kate are on a downhill spiral, we'll be seeing a lot more of the fluffy stuff that I know you guys love. So please be patient with the story. I have a plan, so it will all work out.**

**Please leave me a review, so I can improve the story and hear your feedback. Hope you enjoyed reading as much as I did writing! Mangotango101**


	9. Chapter 9

**Hi, sorry this took so long! This chapter was really hard to write for many reasons, but one of the main ones being that this is a freaking roller coaster of emotions. Kate pretty much goes through every single one that a person can.**

**I have a part in here that's not my usual style (you'll know it when you read it) and I'd love to get your feedback. Also, as always, I've taken some liberties concerning the timeline. Apparently, this now takes place after Lucky Stiff, and is still AU for To Love and Die in LA and Knockout. It follows all others pretty well.**

**I hope you enjoy, and again, I apologize profusely for the wait.**

**Disclaimer: This still isn't mine. Oh, and I don't own _Nate the Great._ This is for entertainment purposes and no copyright infringement was intended.**

**Chapter 9**

"Good afternoon, Detective," said Castle, sweeping into her apartment. It was one o'clock and she and Castle had some last minute planning for the fundraiser in honor of her mother than would be taking place in about three and a half weeks.

Castle had done most of the planning, but made sure to consult her before making any final decisions. He had enlisted the help of his wedding planner, Sharon Michels, because she was the best in the city.

The fundraiser was almost completely planned, but she and Castle had to finalize the seating plans, along with a few other things.

"Hey, Castle," she said, closing the door behind him. "So, what have you got?"

"Well, I brought some Chinese and a nice bottle on wine," he said, pulling the food from a paper bag.

"Castle, you're here to help arrange seating, not eat lunch," she reprimanded.

"Oh, don't be such a killjoy. We can eat and arrange. Now go get the posters," he said, opening the cartons and putting them on her table.

Kate sighed and went to her office to pick up the large poster boards with post-its and little red flags. She was a little apprehensive about having him at her house after what had happened the night before at the Old Haunt. She could tell that Ryan and Esposito probably pulled the bad-cop, interrogation scene on Josh, and she was still riled up about what Castle had told her right before she left.

She had gone home with Josh and she could tell that he was uncomfortable with something. He was worried that she would blow up at him again, and so he was treading lightly. They had both agreed that it was too late to talk about what had happened at the Old Haunt extensively that night, and so the conversation would be left for another time, specifically when Josh got off work. He wasn't due at the hospital until the early morning, so they had planned on spending the night together, sleeping. Not five mintues after they were cuddled under the blankets, Josh got a call. They were short staffed at the hospital, and he had to go in that night. Kate wanted to be annoyed, but found that she couldn't, because honestly, how many times had she blown him off for a dropped body? Too many to count.

Kate slept fitfully, her mind plagued with what could be annoying Josh. At seven she finally gotten up and ready for the day. Montgomery had put them all on call, so until Castle came to discuss the fundraiser, Kate was doing paperwork.

"Here," she said, placing the posters on the table in front of him. "Honestly, Castle, how much more do we have to do?" she asked, setting the posters on her dining room table.

"Not much. Let's just go over some of the seating. I have a couple questions. So Sharon took care of all the people that we don't know personally, but here's where I'm stuck. We have all of our friends and family. Do we want to put everyone at one big table or split them into two?" he asked, moving some stickies that read the names of her colleagues and friends.

"What do you mean?"

"Well, we know that you, Josh, Lanie, Esposito, Ryan, Jenny, and I are sitting at a table together. Do we want to put your father, my mother, Alexis, Ashley, the Captain and his wife all at a different table, or should we put us all together?"

"I think we should all be together," said Kate. "I can't imagine going through this without sitting near my father, and I know that you will want to be sitting with your family."

"You're a smart woman, Detective Beckett," Castle said, shifting the post-its so they reflected the latest plans. "One more question, then we'll move on. Do we want us to be at a long table at the front, or a round table off to the side?"

"Round table off to the side. The night will be hard enough without people staring at us while we eat," she said. Speaking of eating, she grabbed one of the cartons of Chinese food and began scooping it out.

"I was thinking the same thing," agreed Castle. "Now, we just have to finalize the menu. We're having a meat option, fish option, and a vegetarian option, right?"

"Yeah."

"Okay, so we have a beef tenderloin in orange marmalade sauce served with brown rice and sautéed vegetables for the meat."

"Could it be a lemon butter sauce instead?" Kate asked.

"Sure. How does salmon fillet with a dill sauce served on a bed of whole grain rice pilaf with a side of basil rosemary red potatoes sound for the fish?" Castle said, looking at a sheet that had many different options.

"Perfect," said Kate, smiling.

"Great, we have one more then we can move on. The veggie dish will be stuffed Portobello mushrooms drizzled in a mushroom cream sauce served on a bed of Spanish long grain rice with broccoli florets."

"Yum," she said, taking another bite of her lunch.

"I agree," Castle told her, taking his own carton. "Here is a list of all the deserts we can have. Take your pick." He pushed a sheaf of papers in front of her that was thicker than most of her murder files.

"How am I supposed to pick from this many choices?" she asked, flipping through the pages, getting over whelmed just looking at them.

"Look at the pictures and pick whatever looks the best," said Castle as if it were as easy as choosing what shoes to wear.

Kate began to leaf through the stack, pausing every so often to read the short description of the desert. Castle sat next to her, watching intently.

"Castle, you're staring at me," she said, looking out of the corner of her eyes.

"So?"

"It's creepy."

"I do it all the time at the precinct," he told her, shrugging his shoulders.

"Yes, but I'm doing real work there. And it's for you 'research' or whatever you like to call it."

"What, so I'm not allowed to watch a beautiful woman look through decadent deserts while thinking awful things about said deserts?" Castle asked, wiggling his eyebrows. Kate rolled her eyes and threw a napkin at him.

"No, you may not creepily watch me chose a desert. And if you do, you'll never get to see me slather myself in chocolate syrup," she said slowly, leaning into him, licking her lips slowly. Castle gulped, and his breath hitched. Mental images of Beckett in chocolate syrup were erupting in front of his eyes, making it hard for him to concentrate on anything.

"I, um, wow. Chocolate syrup?" he stuttered.

She gave him a sultry look for another minute before breaking into a smile. "God, you're easy," she said, sitting back, her eyes twinkling.

"Hey, now that's just mean," he complained, also sitting back.

"What, you think I'm actually going to 'slather' chocolate syrup on myself for you?"

"A guy can dream, can't he?"

Kate rolled her eyes and returned to the deserts choices.

"How about Chocolate Lava Cakes with whipped cream and strawberries?" she asked, pointing to a picture on the third page.

"That sounds perfect," said Castle, making a note of it in the file he was keeping especially for this party.

Part of Kate still couldn't believe that they were actually planning this fundraiser. After spending days trying to figure out what Kate would do if she ever won the lottery, he came barging into her home and demanded that they plan a fundraiser. They had toyed with names for a while, trying to find something that would capture what the cause was. It was Alexis who came up with the name of the scholarship; it was called Everyone Deserves Justice: a Johanna Beckett Scholarship, or more simply, EDJ.

They had been planning for months, and the date of the event was about three and a half weeks away. Kate was getting nervous, for she had yet to write her speech. Her father was also going to say something, along with Castle.

Kate had no idea what to say. What was she supposed to say? All she knew was that she was so grateful for Castle and his desire to help her. Honoring her mother's legacy was something that had interested her ever since she got her life back on track, but she didn't know how to until Castle decided that it would be his duty to break every single walls he had protecting her personal life.

"Kate?" Castle asked, jerking her from her thoughts.

"Sorry, what was that?"

"I asked you to finalize the bouquets for the tables," he said, pushing a sheet of paper in front of her. She looked at the picture and gasped. The bouquets were snow white calla lilies and bright blue hydrangeas. They weren't a harsh blue, but calming, yet rich. Kate felt tears pressing against her eyes, and took several deep breaths before she was able to talk.

"How'd you know?" she whispered. She knew Castle would know what she meant.

"Your dad told me. I asked him what her favorite flower was and he told me how she carried a bouquet of snow white calla lilies and blue hydrangeas down the aisle. I knew at that moment that those were going to be the center pieces."

Kate stared at the picture of the bouquet and was reminded of being a child, always asking her parent to tell her the story of the picture that sat on her nightstand. It was a picture of her mother and father on their wedding day, both look extremely happy; Johanna was in a beautiful white dress, and her father was looking sharp in his crisp tux. Her mother was holding a bouquet that looked almost identical to the picture that was before her. Her father had a white calla lily with a blue hydrangea in his button hole.

Looking that the picture Castle had shown her brought her back to when she was a young girl, asking her father for the story behind the flowers.

* * *

><p>"<em>Daddy?" six year old Kate asked. She had just gotten out of the bath and her hair was still dripping wet.<em>

"_Yes, Katie Bug?"_

"_Can you tell me the story of mommy's flowers again?" _

_Jim Beckett smiled. It was a ritual in the Beckett household. Every night, either Jim or Johanna would be in charge of telling Kate her bedtime story. Most nights she asked for the story of the flowers, but some nights she would ask for _Nate the Great_. Once the story was over, the other parent would come in and kiss her goodnight before turning off the light._

"_Anything for you, Katie Bug. But only after you get into your PJs," said Jim, bringing the little girl blue pajamas with shooting stars on them. Kate pulled them on and Jim towel dried her hair before putting it into braids. He lifted her with ease and set it into bed. "Snuggle in tight," he said, pulling the patchwork quilt over her small form. Kate grasped her stuffed lion in one hand and the quilt in the other. She burrowed deep into her bed, snuggling close to her father. "Ready?" he asked._

"_Uh huh," she said, her eyes blinking tiredly._

"_When I first met your mommy, I thought she was the most beautiful thing in the world," Jim started. "I went up to say hello to her, and she smiled a bright smile. I knew that at that moment that I was going to marry her."_

"_Ew, Daddy, that's gross," giggled Kate._

"_What have I told you, Katie Bug?"_

"_Not to interrupt," she said, looking remorseful._

_Jim smiled and continued his story. "We met in the park—"_

"_Central Park?" asked Kate, already forgetting what her father had said about not interrupting._

"_Yes, sweetie, Central Park," Jim said, laughing at his daughter's enthusiasm. "I saw a street vendor who was selling flowers. I bought your mother a bunch of blue hydrangeas. I got a tag and put my name and number on the tag and told her to call me. She said to me 'Isn't it your job to call me?' I laughed at her and said 'Well, you're an extraordinary woman, and extraordinary women don't always follow the rules. And anyway, you didn't offer yours.' She laughed and promised to call me the next day."_

"_Did she Daddy?"_

"_Of course she did. Your mommy never breaks a promise."_

"_Tell me about the white flowers," Kate asked, her voice getting thicker with every word._

"_The white flowers, called calla lilies, are from when I asked your mommy to marry me. We were living together and she came home and there were hundreds of calla lilies everywhere. In the middle of it all, there was one deep red rose which held the sparkling ring. I came out of the other room and asked her to marry me." Jim smiled, caught up in the memory._

"_Did she say yes?" Kate asked._

"_Oh course she did, silly head, or else you wouldn't be here," he told her, poking her nose._

"_Daddy!"_

"_So on our wedding day, her bouquet was blue hydrangeas and white calla lilies," he said, pointing to the picture on the night stand._

"_And someday when I get big, someone is going to ask me to marry them and give me mommy's ring, right Daddy?" asked Kate, her eyes drooping._

"_That's right, Katie Bug. One day, you're going to have your mommy's ring."_

"_But boys are icky. Tommy tried to push me off the swings today, but I slapped him in the face," said Kate, feeling proud of herself._

"_Katie, what did I tell you about hitting boys?"_

"_Not to do it," she said, put out. Jim nodded. "But he was being mean!"_

"_It doesn't matter, Katie. We don't use our fists, we use our words, right sweetie?" came a voice from her doorway._

"_Yes Mommy," said Kate feeling slightly ashamed. She hated disappointing her mommy. "I'm tired," she said, snuggling deeper into her bed._

"_Then go to sleep darling. Sweet dreams," said Johanna, coming to the bed and giving her daughter a kiss good night. "I love you."_

"_I love you too, Mommy," said Kate, drifting into sleep._

"_I love you too, Jo," said Jim, getting up from Kate's bedside._

"_I love you, Jim. Always," Johanna answered. "I never get tired of hearing you tell Katie the story of the flowers."_

_Jim smiled and looked at his two favorite women. The couple watched their little girl sleep for a few mintues before turning off the light and shutting the door._

* * *

><p>Kate smiled, thinking about how by some strange alignment of the universe (not that she believed in any of that, of course) brought her Castle, who just happened to use the same phrases as her parents. She still remembered the first time she read the dedication for <em>Heat Wave<em>. It struck a chord deep within her when she saw that he described her as 'extraordinary.' Then after they had saved Ryan and Esposito, how he had said 'always,' it made her heart wrench because she was thinking about all the nights she heard her parents say that to one another when they thought she was asleep.

Yet here she was, 25 years later, with her mother's ring, warm against her sternum, and a man who had an uncanny ability to know things about her past.

"Kate?" asked Castle. He had been watching Kate for a good five minutes and she hadn't said a word.

"Sorry, I got caught up in a memory," she said, feeling tears prickling at her eyes. She remembered the story so well, and she wished that her mother was there to tell it to her again. It had been their nightly ritual; she grew up hearing the story of the flowers.

"Do you want to share?" he asked softly, not wanting to make her feel uncomfortable, but curious none the less.

"Not now, but thanks Castle."

"Whenever you're ready, Detective," he said, smiling. They sat in silence for a while, Kate staring blankly at the picture in front of her and Castle watching her. He saw pain and joy flicker in her eyes, and he knew that she was far from her apartment.

"Does he know?" she asked quietly, still looking at the bouquet that was nearly a carbon copy of the one she had fallen asleep hearing about for years.

"I don't think so, but I'm pretty sure he could guess," said Castle, smiling.

Kate took another steadying breath. It unnerved her how much he knew about her and how much it mattered to him to get all the details exactly right. Everything about the event was so perfect and exactly what her mother would have done. She felt her heart constrict with the thought of the time and energy Castle had put into planning, just so everything would be perfect.

"Thank you," she said quietly, refusing to let a tear fall. "Everything is so perfect. I don't know how you did it."

"It was easy. A bunch of phone calls to your dad and three years of following you. I don't think you realize how much you let out when you are least trying."

"Castle, this means the world to me. Ever since my mother was murdered, I wish that there was some way that I could honor her, and you've helped me achieve that goal. If I can't ever put her killer to justice, then at least I know I haven't completely failed her."

"You could never fail her," said Castle, almost reaching for her hands, but stopping himself at the last moment. "She would be so proud of you if she saw you today. You have a good job and good friends. You bring justice to families every day and even though you see the absolute worst of humanity, you haven't lost sense of the good things in life."

Kate smiled wanly, knowing that Castle was right. She had made her mother proud, but it was hard for her to see it that way. In her mind, the only way to truly make her mother proud was to find her killer.

"Thank you, Castle, again. For everything," she said, looking at the table. She couldn't look into his eyes, because she knew where that would end.

Unfortunately, Castle had other ideas. He reached for her clasped hands and gently rested his larger hands on hers. He wasn't holding, or pushing, he was just laying them on top. Kate felt her stomach flutter, feeling the same way she had when he had helped her into her coat the night before. Again, Castle was doing things that were so much more intimate than a plutonic friendship should be, but who was she to complain?

He ever so gently stroked her intertwined fingers with his thumb, his touch so light she barely felt it. He looked straight into her green eyes and allowed himself to get lost in their depths. Without realizing it, he was leaning forward. He saw the panic in her eyes, but it was taken over by something that he couldn't discern.

Kate felt her hands tingling. She knew that he was doing and part of her was screaming to get away and run as fast as she could; screaming for her to hide in work again. Her eyes were pulled into his blue ones, and they were locked into place. She didn't think she could look away if she tried. She saw him moving towards her, and her inner instincts were yelling for her to run faster than she had ever run before. No matter how hard she wanted to, she was glued to her seat; she couldn't move.

She saw his small smile that reached his eyes. They sparkled with the excitement and joy.

"Always," he said quietly, his breath brushing her cheeks. One of his hands moved from where they were joined with hers to brush a stray piece of hair and tuck it behind her ear.

Kate's inner voice was nearly hoarse because of how long it had ben screaming at her. What was she _thinking_? She was with Josh and they were happy and she couldn't blur the lines even further. She needed to get out and clear her head, but Castle's gaze was too strong. She felt his push the hair behind her ear and knew what was coming next. Part of her desperately wanted it to happen. She wanted to feel the heat she had felt last time they kissed, but part of her couldn't think about betraying Josh like that.

He was stroking her cheek, both of them lost in the moment, when her door bell rang. They were jerked back into reality, Castle pulling his hand away from her face as if she had burned him. Kate closed her eyes for a moment, clearing her head. She knew who was at the door, but she really, really, didn't want to deal with him.

"I'd better get that," she said, breathlessly. She tried to get her breathing back on track, but after their moment (that is what it was, right?) she was having trouble focusing on anything past his bright blue eyes that were pleading with her to give in.

Castle just nodded. He couldn't have spoken if he tried. He watched as Kate opened the door, letting the doctor in.

"Hey Josh," she said, allowing him to enter her apartment. Josh saw Castle and decided to mark his territory. Josh leaned in for a kiss, but Kat turned her head, making sure the kiss landed on her cheek instead of its intended destination.

"Kate, what's he doing here?" Josh whispered in her ear.

"He was helping me make some last minute plans for the fundraiser," said Kate, pulling away.

"Um, I should get going. Nikki Heat isn't going to write herself," said Castle, laughing slightly. "I'll call Sharon and let her know our decisions. See you tomorrow?" he asked Kate, grabbing his coat.

"Yeah, sounds good. And hey, thanks again."

Castle just smiled and left the apartment.

"So you guys are planning the gala, huh?" asked Josh going over to inspect the materials still on her dining room table.

"Yes, is that a problem?" she asked, pushing past him to gather the papers and posters.

"No, not a problem. Actually, I wanted to talk to you about that," Josh said, setting his coat and bag on her couch.

Kate felt her stomach drop. She knew that the fundraiser was right before he left, and somehow, she knew what he was about to tell her.

"What?" she asked, coming out from the office where she had put the place settings.

"I just wanted to tell you that I don't think that I'm going to be able to make it," he said, quickly in one breath.

"What do you mean?" she asked, knowing exactly what he meant, but she needed to hear in from him.

"I mean that this fundraiser is two days before I leave for Uganda, and I have to pack and get ready. You know how crazy it gets before I leave. I can't take a night off to go to a party with you."

"A party? That's what you think this is?" she shook her head at him, astounded at how thick he was being. "You're unbelievable, do you know that?" she asked, coming around the couch towards him.

"How? How am I unbelievable Kate? Because I need to go to Uganda and save people's lives?"

"No, because you aren't going to be there for me when I need you the most," she said.

"And what's that supposed to mean? I thought it was just a fundraiser for a scholarship."

"No, it is so much more, Josh. It's honoring my mother's legacy."

"Kate, I don't even know what your mother _did_," he said, his voice rising with each passing word.

"She was a civil rights attorney who worked with the Justice Initiative. She also help start up a program called 'Take Back the Neighborhood' in Washington Heights," said Kate, doing her best not to choke up.

"So, she was a lawyer. Plenty of people are lawyers. Kate, I don't understand why this dinner is so important to you."

"My mother is _dead_, Josh," she nearly screamed at him.

"You know, you could've fooled me."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Kate asked, seeing red. The nerve of him.

"You don't let me in, Kate. Last night, with your friends, they were looking and speaking to me as if I were crazy for not knowing your mother was dead. I don't know when your mother died, I don't know how she died; all I know is that she's dead. Please Kate, let me in."

"Josh, it's not easy for me to open up to people just like that," she said, calming her voice down, forcing the tears away. "You should know that by now."

"Yeah, I know that, Kate. We've been together, what? Nearly a year? But don't you think that warrants some kind of trust? I don't know the first thing about your childhood. Maybe if you told me, I would know why this fundraiser is so goddamn important to you."

"Josh—"

"Don't 'Josh' me. Give me answers Kate. Please," he said, nearly pleading.

Kate took a deep breath and sat on the couch. Josh cautiously took a seat next to her; he was close, but not touching. She didn't like to admit it, but at that moment, she wanted nothing more than to curl herself into Josh's arms and tell him the whole story and put her whole heart out there. But of course she couldn't do that, that wasn't Kate Beckett. She'd tell him enough to get him off her back, but she couldn't tell him everything; it would be putting his life in danger. She knew what happened when people looked too far or too close into her mother's murder.

"It was twelve years ago," she began quietly. She fiddled with her mother's ring, looking at it, remembering all the times she had asked her mother to tell her the story of the ring. "My dad and I were at a diner waiting for her, but she never came. There was a detective waiting for us when we got home and he told us she had been found in an alley. She had been stabbed."

"Oh, Katie, I'm so sorry," said Josh, tentatively putting his arms around her shoulders. She stiffened, not quite ready for the physical contact, and he felt it. He pulled away his arm and settled for holding her hand. "I can tell that's not all of it."

"My father began to drink. He's been sober for five years now."

"Why do you wear the ring and the watch?"

Kate was reminded of the time when she had told Castle all of this. The only difference was that he didn't demand the information; he waited for her to initiate. "The ring was my mother's. I wear it for the life that I lost, and the watch was my father's and I wear it for the life that I saved."

"So why is the gala so important?"

Kate had to suppress a sigh of frustration. How Josh could be so thick as to not understand was beyond her. "This fundraiser is important because it's honoring what my mother did."

"I still don't really understand though," Josh said, feeling bad for not seeing why it was so important to her.

"She did pro-bono work with criminals who were deemed 'lost-causes.' She gave people who didn't have a voice a fighting chance."

"That is very commendable," said Josh.

"Yeah, it was. This fundraiser is to gather the funds to start a scholarship in her name that will grant a full scholarship to students who pledge that they will give their life to helping these criminals. Now do you see why it's so important?" she asked, hoping Josh would get it. She was tired of fighting, but something told her that their fight wasn't over.

"Yes, I do, but why do you need me there? You have all your friends from work," he said. She could hear the doubt and mistrust that was underlying his words.

"Why do I need you? Because you're my boyfriend. You're the one who's supposed to be there for me when things get tough, and this is about as tough as it gets," she said, getting up from the couch. Their moment had passed, and Kate was beginning to get livid again.

Josh realized that he had crossed a line, and their sweet moment of understanding was already long gone. No, he was not getting the open Kate back that night.

"I thought that's what your _team_ was for," he told her, his voice rising. He couldn't stop himself; all his fears concerning how close her coworkers are were confirmed the night before at the Old Haunt. He saw how protective the boys were of her and he saw how much they all loved her. He didn't think he was needed at an even commemorating her mother.

"I cannot believe you just said that…again. How many times do I have to tell you that they are my team? Nothing more and nothing less."

"Oh really, then why don't I believe you?"

"I don't know. That's your problem. My problem is that you won't be there for me when I need you to be."

"How can I be there for you if _he's _going to be there instead?" he asked with venom in his words. "I saw what you two were doing today when I got here. I saw how he looked at you at the bar last night. And you know what? I saw how you looked at him, too. I know that if I come, I'm going to be pushed aside by all of your cop friends who know more about you than your own boyfriend."

"Josh, that's ridiculous," she said, rolling her eyes. She was really getting fed up by this point.

"Really? Because I don't think it's so farfetched."

"Josh, there have been two murders since I've been at the Twelfth that have had connections to my mother's case. That's how the guys know so much about it. They read the case files and solved the murders of two men involved. I wouldn't have told them otherwise," she said, knowing deep in her heart that that was the truth. She wouldn't have told Ryan and Esposito about her mother's murder if they hadn't caught the Coonan case or the Raglan case. Her mother's murder would have stayed nicely compartmentalized in her head.

"I'm sure you told _him_ before those cases," said Josh, still not convinced that she wasn't with Castle in more than a plutonic way.

Kate didn't know what to say. She had told Castle about them before the cases, but then she remembered why.

"He asked me," she said to Josh. Well, that wasn't technically true. He had made an assumption about her father and she just wanted to set the record straight before he spun any crazy theories or gave her unwanted pity.

"Oh, is that why you told him? Because he asked?"

"Yeah. That's more than you ever did. Tonight was the first night you ever asked me about my family."

"You're not going to peg this on me now, are you? Because that's just not fair. You're the one who's been closed off in this relationship," Josh accused.

"I'm not pegging it on anyone, I'm simply stating fact. You've never asked me about my mother or my father and today you did, and I told you," she said, stunned by how long it was taking him to understand what she was saying. Kate decided that now, after she told him everything, she should give him a second chance. "So, are you going to come to the fundraiser?" she asked, hoping that he would say yes, but knowing in her heart that he would say no.

"I'm sorry, Katie, I really am. But I just have so much that has to happen before I leave, I can't take the time off, especially since it's two nights before I go."

"Okay," she said, nodding her head, pretending to be okay with it. "So you're not going to come even though I opened myself up to you and let you in? After I told you something that I tell very few people. After I told you about my mother's murder and my father's alcoholism? You're still going to leave and not be there for me?"

"I have to save the world, Katie," he said, reaching for her. She backed away.

"Uh uh, you do not get to call me Katie. I've put up with it for long enough. I tell you about my family and you can't take _four hours_ to do something that would mean the world to me. Only my parents have every called me Katie before you, and if you're not going to be there to support my mother and father, then you can't call me Katie."

"That's ridiculous," he said, gesticulating, trying to get her to understand.

"Is it? Because I don't think so. Just listen to how it sounds, okay Josh? Someone who is very private and hardly shares anything about her life tells her boyfriend the thing that she is most private about. She lets him into something that almost no one has access to – her past. Then, even after understanding how important a fundraiser in her mother's honor is to the girl, her boyfriend still won't come. He has to save the world for four months. Does that sound ridiculous to you?" she asked, challenging him. It sounded stupider out loud than it did in her head. If the roles had been reversed, she would have cancelled the plane tickets in a heartbeat.

"Kate, I have to go. I have to help those children. They need me," he said, pleading with her, trying to get her to understand.

"Oh, and the criminals who are lost causes don't need us? Because they do. Everyone deserves a second chance, Josh. That's why I'm giving_ this _a chance," she said, motioning to the air between them. "Don't you want more lawyers in the city who can help make this place safer for you and your family?"

"Those kids in Africa are counting on me," he said though it sounded weak to his own ears. He knew that he couldn't go to the fundraiser, but he had to keep fighting. He couldn't bear to see her with her colleagues again. One night was painful enough.

Kate just stood there, shaking her head in disbelief. She opened he mouth to respond when her phone rang.

"What?" she barked into the receiver. Her façade changed immediately from annoyed Kate to Detective Beckett. "Okay, I'll be there in a half an hour." She turned to Josh who stood looking confused. "I have to go," she told him. "A body dropped. You should leave, because I have to get ready."

"Fine, but this conversation isn't over," he said, grabbing his coat. Kate just turned around and went into her bedroom. She heard the front door close and she leaned against the back of her own door. Fighting with Josh took a lot out of her, and she didn't want to face a crime scene.

She had opened herself to Josh and he still didn't want to be there for her. _Maybe Lanie was right_, she thought. _Maybe Josh isn't what I'm looking for right now_. But she couldn't write him off just yet. He still had time to redeem himself. Everyone deserves a second chance, right?

Kate took another deep breath and went to the bathroom to wash her face. While mechanically getting ready for the crime scene, she mentally prepared herself. It wouldn't be easy – not with the emotional rollercoaster she had been on since the afternoon. But it was her job – her duty to give this case one hundred and ten percent. She couldn't give any less.

Her fight with Josh wasn't over, and she was having doubts about him, so it made her slightly concerned about going into a crime scene with Castle who was always so supportive and was just there for her. She was going into dangerous territory and she had to be careful.

_Remember Katie_, she heard a voice in her head say. _The world never gives you something that you can't handle._

**Okay, so I hope you enjoyed that. Now it's my turn to ramble a little (err...a lot). Going in chronological order:**

**The flowers/Kate's childhood flashback: I hope you liked that, and if you did, I can do more of them. I liked establishing what Kate was like as a kid - carefree, yet still spunky and kicking butt. I added the _Nate the Great_ thing just because I thought it would be cute, even though Kate was probably not into Law Enforcement before her mother died. Also, in case you were confused, I was counting 25 years since that flashback, not since her mother's murder (K****ate is now 31).**

**Caskett moments: I know that you're all dying for them to hook up or whatever, but they're getting closer. Didja like the chocolate syrup scene along with the almost kiss? I hope so...they were fun to write.**

**Kate and Josh: I hope I kept them in character enough. I tried really hard. So now you all get to see Josh as a bit of a jerk (understatement), so be happy. As I was writing Kate's explanation about her mother, I realized that it was oddly close to what she had said to Castle...I had done that unintentionally. I was surprised when I was proofreading and was like "Whoa! That was on the show...I should change it..."**

**And finally, Kate is coming to her senses (hopefully). So there you have it...happiness, gratitude, anger, lust, desire, vulnerability, friendship, doubt, annoyance, and hope - an emotional rollercoaster for all the characters. Starting a new case, so it'll take a few days to get up the next chapter...I have to come up with the plot. Any ideas, please shoot them over.**

**So yeah, I've rambled long enough, and I'm sure none of you actually read this, but it give me peace of mind to write it. Please review and let me know what you think. I got a lovely response to the last chapter, so please keep that up.**

**Best, mangotango101**


	10. Chapter 10

**I am SO sorry this took a week to upload, but unfortunately, I think that updates will slow to once a week, hopefully every Monday night. I will be away next Monday, so hopfully I'll get the next chapter up by the end of this week - I have it all planned out, so it shouldn't be that hard. This took so long because we're starting a new case (yay!) and I wanted to cement the details before posting any of it. Somewhat like how Kate needs to cement a case before bringing it to the DA. You are the DA ; ) Regardless, I assumed that you would want a later update with a longer, nicer chapter than a shorter, more frequent, half-assed updates.**

**So, anyway - I don't think there's much to say about this, other than I hope you don't think I'm too sadistic for coming up with something like this, but don't worry...it'll be getting more twisted.**

**There is one flashback, and I'm experimenting here, so if you like it, let me know and I'll use it more, but if you don't, also let me know so I knwo _not_ to use it again.**

**Disclaimer: This is not mine. Anything that is at all recognizable does not and will not belong to me. Anything related to _Castle _belongs to ABC, Andrew Marlowe, and its respective owners.**

**Chapter 10**

"Hey boys, anyone want to tell me why we're in a hospital?" Kate asked, striding into the lobby of the Bellevue Hospital.

"Well let's just say, this is Beckett flavored," smiled Esposito.

"We're already in a hospital. Aren't we a little late?" asked Kate. She was still confused as to what the homicide was – they were in a freaking hospital.

"Where's Castle?" asked Ryan, as they led Beckett towards the elevators.

"I called him from the road. He should be here soon," she said.

"Good, because I think he'll like this one, too."

Kate rolled her eyes but stepped into the elevator. Esposito pushed the button for the basement when they heard shouting from across the lobby.

"Wait! Hold the elevator!" the man cried. The three detectives automatically reached for their guns when they realized that the bozo screaming was Castle. Ryan let go of his gun and pressed the 'open door' button. Castle got into the elevator and put his hands on his knees, panting.

"Thanks for waiting. Hey, why are you all holding your guns?" asked Castle, looking from one detective to the next.

"Because we thought some psycho was after you," said Esposito as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. "You don't scream and run for an elevator when there are three trained detectives in it."

"Sorry, I though you guys would have seen that it was me."

"Yeah, we did, but come on, Castle, we're cops, we live off of our first instincts," said Kate, rolling her eyes.

Castle looked hurt and embarrassed.

"Chill out, bro, we're just messing with you," Esposito told him, patting him on the back.

"Oh, haha, very funny you guys. So tell me. Why are we in a hospital when we're investigating a homicide?" asked Castle, looking at Kate.

"I don't know. These buffoons I call team members won't tell me."

Before either Ryan or Esposito could get too rebuffed from the insult, the elevator doors opened. They walked down the cool, starkly lit hallway towards the sound of voices.

"It's about time you guys got here," said Lanie, coming out of a room.

The four of them followed Lanie into a room even colder than the hall.

"Lanie," began Kate. "Why are we in the morgue?"

"Well, because our vic is here," she said, as if it were the most obvious thing.

"We're in a hospital. I didn't think that a homicide could happen here," remarked Castle.

"A homicide can happen anywhere, Castle, you should know that," Kate said, rolling her eyes. She turned back to Lanie. "What have we got?"

"His name is Mortimer Killingsworth. He's fifty-eight and died from anaphylactic shock."

"With a name like Mortimer Killingsworth, it's a surprise someone didn't kill him sooner," joked Castle.

"Castle, dead body, a little respect," rebuked Kate.

"But Mortimer Killingsworth? That's gotta be the best name _ever_!"

Kate rolled her eyes and turned to the ME who was smiling knowingly at the two. "So Lanie, this is a homicide how?" asked Kate.

"He was checked into the hospital yesterday because he had gone into anaphylactic shock from a bee sting. He stabbed himself with his EpiPen—" Lanie pointed to a small puncture wound on his left thigh. "—so by the time he got to the hospital, him anaphylaxis was under control. The doctors decided to keep him, because this wasn't the first time he was in the hospital for anaphylaxis. He's been in a couple of times before and in those cases, the anaphylaxis had returned even after treatment. According to his chart, he died last night at 3:27am."

"Okay, but how is this a homicide?" asked Castle.

"Geez you guys are antsy today. It's a homicide because when the coroners were doing the autopsy, they realized that he had enough hymenoptera—"

"Hymena-waah?" interrupted Castle.

"Hymenoptera. It's the poison that's in bees," explained Lanie. "As I was saying, there was enough hymenoptera in his system to put anyone, even someone who wasn't allergic, into anaphylactic shock."

"Then it must have been someone at the hospital," said Castle.

"Or someone who visited," Kate amended.

"When I get him back to the morgue at the precinct, I'll run a more thorough toxicology and see if I can narrow the time of the poisoning down for you."

"Thanks, Lanie," said Kate taking a deep breath.

Kate could tell this wasn't going to be an easy case. They had no crime scene, no forensic evidence, and Mortimer Killingsworth's death could be considered a death of natural causes. At least she didn't have a crime scene to deal with – that would have been too much.

She wasn't looking forward to going back to the precinct. With no crime scene, they would have to start the investigation with background checks, medical histories, and all the things that didn't involve getting up and walking around. Kate could feel the beginning of a headache forming at her temples, and she really didn't want to spend the night looking at a computer screen.

"Hey, you okay?" asked Castle, noticing her distress.

"Yeah, I'm fine," she said, immediately reverting back to her 'Detective Beckett' posture and manner.

"Then why don't I believe you?"

"Castle, just please stop. Let's go to the precinct and we'll work for a few hours and then we can cut out, okay?" she asked, aggravated.

She didn't want to have to deal with Castle and the way he pried into her personal life. She didn't want to have to deal with putting on a front for her coworkers. For once in who knows how long, Kate had no desire to work. She just wanted to go home, slip into a warm bath, and rest her eyes. She had had a tiring fight with Josh and an emotionally charged afternoon with Castle. Surely he hadn't forgotten.

No, Castle had done everything _but_ forget about his afternoon with Kate. After he made a hasty exit from her apartment, he got a cab home and sat in his office, staring at his computer screen.

* * *

><p><em>Rick opened the door to his loft and threw his coat on the couch. He listened for any signs of life, but didn't hear anything. He assumed his mother was out doing god knows what and Alexis was out with her friends.<em>

_Rick looked at his watch and saw that it was past five o'clock; he had spent longer at Kate's place then he intended to. He stumbled into his office and sat at his desk. He pulled out his computer and pressed the power button. While he waited for it to turn on, he thought about his afternoon. His mind was reeling. What the heck had happened? Sure, Kate made fun of him again – that happened nearly every day, but that almost kiss? That never happens._

_What did it mean, that Kate was not running for the Heights when he started leaning in? What was that glint that he had seen in her eyes when he brushed the hair from her face? Did she want it just as much as he? And if so, why was she still with Dr. Motorcycle Boy?_

_Castle's mind was plagued with questions that chased each other in circles. There was no way that he could get his thoughts to calm enough to write another chapter of _Nikki Heat_. He didn't care if Gina wanted to kill him for being late again – there was no way he was writing that night._

_He had been staring off into space for so long that his computer screen had switched from the blank, mocking, word document to the blinking "You. Should. Be. Writing." screen saver. He hardly cared enough to move to mouse._

"_Dad?" came a voice from the door way. Castle was jerked from his reverie when he looked into the eyes of his beautiful daughter._

"_Yes, Pumpkin?" he asked._

"_Are you okay?" she asked him, pulling up a chair next to his._

"_What? Yeah, I'm fine. What makes you think otherwise?" he replied, putting on a fake smile and a fake voice._

"_Maybe it's the fact that I've been standing in front of you for the past five minutes and you haven't noticed me. Or maybe it's the fact that I called your name, like, five times when I came home. Or maybe it's because I texted you a dozen times—" said Alexis, counting the reasons on her fingers._

"_Okay, sweetie, you made your point," Rick interrupted, laughing._

"_So, is everything okay?"_

"_Yeah, everything is fine," said Castle, feeling his nose twitch._

"_Dad, I know you're lying. Your nose just twitched. Now tell me what's really going on. Is it Detective Beckett?"_

"_You know, sweetie, sometimes, you are just too smart for our own good, you know that?"_

"_Dad," said Alexis sternly. "Stop trying to change the subject. I'm worried about you."_

"_Aww, you don't have to be worried about me. I'm a big boy. I can take care of myself," Rick said, feeling proud of his daughter._

"_Come on, Dad, you know I'm old enough to handle it. At least tell me what's gotten you this pensive."_

_Castle remained silent. It didn't feel right to him to talk about his problems with Kate with his daughter. Yes, she was more mature than almost any teenager that he ever knew, but still, Kate not something he was comfortable talking about._

"_Okay Dad, I can tell you're not going to tell me. I'm going to go do some work, but if you ever need to talk, I'm right here," said Alexis, getting up from her chair and giving her father a kiss on the cheek. "I love you."_

"_Love you too, Pumpkin."_

_Alexis left the office and Rick resumed his staring contest with space. He thought about everything that had happened at Kate's apartment and how wrong it was, yet how perfectly right it felt. Everything from her faraway look when he showed her the center pieces to her bright green eyes, inches away from his own, just felt like it was meant to be._

_Rick wasn't complaining that Kate didn't tell him more about her childhood, but sometimes, especially at times like the one she had had earlier, made him wish that she was comfortable sharing. What he wouldn't have done to know what she was reminded of when he showed her the flowers. Her glazed look of joy and pain stirred the author in him, wishing to give his Nikki Heat more of a back story. He remembered when he told Kate that he knew Nikki better than she thought he did, but in all truth, he knew her no better than Kate did. _

_Castle wished that Kate would open her eyes and see that Josh wasn't what she was looking for. She had told Rick himself – she wanted someone who she "could be there for and who could be there for her and they could dive in together." She had also told him that she was a "one and done" type of girl. All the signs were pointing to Rick, but she refused to see them. Even after everything they had been through, she still refused to face the music._

_It made Rick a little angry, no doubts about that, but not angry enough to let it show when they were together. When he was 'researching,' his purpose was to give insight to the case and to be a friend for Kate. It wasn't his place to tell her that she should break up with her _perfect_ boyfriend just because he thought she should be with him and not Josh. What kind of friend would be he then? No, it was Rick's job as assistant volunteer homicide detective (he really should have an honorary badge, though) to be there for her as a friend when she needed one the most._

* * *

><p>"Yo Beckett," called Esposito, entering the morgue with his partner, Ryan. Castle was pulled from his flashback and forced his mind to concentrate on the present and what the duo was telling Kate and him. "We got in touch with the vic's daughter, Emily Killingsworth. She's said she'll meet us downtown."<p>

"Great. I need you guys to run phones and financials of this guy. See if he has any priors, and run all this coworkers. Lanie's going to try and narrow the time of the poisoning. Also, check with the hospital to see who had access to Killingsworth's room from the time he was admitted until the TOD."

"You got it, boss," they said, almost in unison. The pair walked away and Kate turned back to Castle.

"Come on, Castle."

* * *

><p>"Ms. Killingsworth, I'm Detective Kate Beckett, and I'm going to be working on your father's case. I know that this will be hard for you, but I need to ask you a few questions," said Kate soothingly.<p>

Emily Killingsworth nodded mutely. She had come to the station in tears and hadn't uttered a word since.

"Did you know your father was allergic to hymenoptera?"

"Yes, but I didn't know he was in the hospital. Usually he would have called or something."

"What did your father do for a living?"

"He was a construction worker. Right now, he team should be working on repaving in Central Park."

"Was he aware that he was working in close quarters to bees?"

"Yes. Whenever they got jobs like that, he was always sure to pack an extra EpiPen."

Kate nodded. "I'm sorry, but I'm going to have to ask you. Where were you last night?"

"I was at home with my boyfriend, Charlie."

Kate made a note on her pad, reminding herself to tell the boys to check out the alibi.

"Do you know anyone who would want to hurt your father?" asked Kate.

Emily was silent, thinking about her father. Her face was blank for a moment before a spark of recognition passed over her. "Oh my god," she said breathily.

"What?" asked Castle.

"I know my father was dating this woman, Camille Sanders, but when I talked to him last week, it sounded like they had broken up."

"Do you happen to know who broke up with whom?"

"I don't, but I bet that it was my father who broke up with her."

"Did she know about his allergy?" Kate probed.

"Yeah," Emily said, nodding. "Yeah, she would always have an extra EpiPen on her, just in case."

"Ms. Killingsworth, do you know what your father's ex does?"

"She's a nurse," Emily whispered. "At Bellevue."

* * *

><p>"Hey Esposito," called Kate across the bull pen. "I need you to look up a Camille Sanders. She was involved with our vic and she works at Bellevue."<p>

"Wait, Camille Sanders?" said Ryan, walking swiftly to join the group.

"You heard of her?"

"Yeah, I checked with the hospital, and they said that a Nurse Camille Sanders was our vic's nurse."

"Okay," said Kate, nodding. "Bring her in first thing tomorrow morning."

"That might be harder than you think," said Ryan.

"Why?"

"Because Nurse Sanders didn't show up for her shift that was supposed to start an hour ago. We checked her apartment and it looks like someone packed in a hurry," explained Ryan.

"Okay. Get an APB out on Camille Sanders, and Castle and I will check the phone records in the mean time."

"I'll keep going through the financials, and I'll let you know if anything pops," said Esposito, walking back to his desk.

"Why would anyone want this guy dead?" asked Castle, sitting in 'his' chair.

"I don't know, that's what we have to find out," Kate said, rolling her eyes.

"I know that, but I mean, he was a construction worker who was allergic to bees. He had a girlfriend who he just dumped, and a daughter who loved him. He wasn't much of anything, and he didn't have very much power in society. I don't get why someone would need him dead."

"You're guess is as good as mine, but we have to check out his ex girlfriend tomorrow morning. Hopefully, Lanie will have some results for us as well," Kate said. She turned her attention to the two men working diligently across the room "Hey Ryan. Did you check in with our vic's primary physician?"

"Yeah," answered Ryan. "She alibied out, but she did give us a list of everyone who had access to Killingsworth's chart."

"And…?"

"No one popped except for the ex."

"Great."

Ryan nodded and turned back to his computer screen. Beckett got up from her desk chair and moved to sit on the edge of her desk, facing the murder board. There wasn't much on it, but she moved the primary physician from the 'suspects' column to the 'persons of interest' column.

"Okay," she said, turning to Castle. "An APB is out on Sanders, Ryan and Esposito are going to finish running the coworkers tomorrow, and all the warrants haven't come through yet for the phone or financials. Why don't we call it a night and I'll see you in the morning."

"Okay," said Castle slightly suspicious. "Until tomorrow then, Detective."

"Night, Castle."

Kate turned and grabbed her coat and purse. She shut down her computer and walked towards the elevators. Ryan and Esposito knew better than to ask why Kate was so willingly leaving. Instead, they turned to each other, smirking.

"If Beckett's out, so am I. See you tomorrow, boys," said Castle, tapping Ryan's desk in farewell.

"Night bro," Esposito said, hardly looking up from the files on his desk.

Castle left the precinct and took a deep breath. He didn't quite know how he was going to last this case. He could already tell that this would be one that would lead them in circles and they'd either hit all dead ends or hit a major twist that would make closing the case infinitely harder. He sighed, hailed a taxi, and went home, pushing all thoughts of the case out of his head.

Kate had a similar experience on her way home – she couldn't stop thinking about her afternoon and the case. Her mind was going in circles, refusing to settle on one thing for longer than a few moments. One minute she was thinking about her almost kiss with Castle and the next she was thinking about the knockdown, drag out, screaming match she had with Josh. All she wanted to do was to go home, draw a hot bath and let her muscles relax. And that is exactly what she did. She pushed all thoughts and all feelings about anything job related and she immersed herself in the wonderful world of Derrick Storm.

* * *

><p>"Morning, Detective," said Castle, placing a steaming cup of coffee down in front of Kate. She looked up from her paperwork and Castle could see how little sleep she had gotten. He could tell that she had tried to cover it with makeup, but it wouldn't fool him.<p>

Kate smiled, taking the coffee as a liquid savior. "Thanks Castle."

"You okay?" he asked, taking a seat next to her.

"Yeah, I'm fine," she answered, pushing some hair behind her ear. "So we got a hit on Sanders' APB this morning. Ryan and Esposito are bringing her in now."

Castle nodded and returned to his phone. He began playing with some game or another and didn't notice Kate staring into space, thinking deeply.

Kate had a rough night – her mind was all over and she hardly slept. Thoughts of Josh and Castle tormented her thoughts and when she did manage to slip into a fitful sleep, she was plagued with nightmares. She saw Castle and Josh both bleeding out and she could only reach one of them and she couldn't choose. Because of her indecision, she lost both of them, each crying for her to save him. Kate had woken in a cold sweat with her heart pounding. It took every bit of self control she had not to call Castle and make sure he was okay. She knew he'd pick up, but it wasn't the guilt of waking him that stopped her, it was the guilt that she didn't feel the same burning need to call Josh and make sure he was still living a breathing. God, she needed to talk to Lanie, but how this case was going, it didn't look like she was going to be getting any free time in the next couple of days.

Kate's phone rang, interrupting her thoughts.

"Beckett," she answered in her customary way. She paused, listening, before saying, "Great, thanks. Yup, talk to you soon." She hung up the phone and made a note on the file in front of her.

"Who was that?" asked Castle, curiosity getting the better of him.

"It was Lanie. She ran the tox screen and based on how much hymenoptera was in our vic, he couldn't have been injected much later than three am. She estimates the time of poisoning between three and three fifteen."

Castle was about to make a comment when the elevator doors _ping_ed. The two looked to see who was entering, and they saw Ryan leading a petite, brunette woman into an interrogation room and Esposito coming over to brief the detective and writer.

"TSA picked her up this morning at JFK. Apparently, she was trying to go to get to Indonesia. She's waiting in Interrogation Room 2."

Kate nodded and collected her files. Castle followed her to the interrogation room, still concerned about her state of mind.

* * *

><p>"Ms. Sanders, my name is Detective Beckett. Do you know why you're here?" said Kate, claiming all the authority in the room. She slapped the file down on the steel table and sat in the chair opposite the nurse.<p>

Camille Sanders was mid-forties, had short, brown hair that was cropped in a way that looked like she belonged in the Roaring Twenties. She had cold blue eyes and sat stiffly, yet calmly.

"No, I do not."

"Do you know this man?" asked Kate, sliding a picture of Mortimer Killingsworth across the table.

"Yes, he is my ex. Why?"

"He was murdered yesterday. Do you know anything about that?"

"Murdered?" asked Sanders weakly. The color drained from her face and the hard shell that she had dissolved. She seemed to slump in her seat. "How did it happen?"

"He was poisoned. With hymenoptera," said Castle.

"Oh god," Camille breathed. Her eyes were darting around the interrogation room.

"You were his nurse, weren't you?" asked Castle, getting into the grove of the interrogation.

"Yes, but my personal feelings had nothing to do with his death—"

"But you had access to his files and to his medical records. It would have been very easy for you to slip into his room and poison him," interrupted Kate.

"No, I didn't kill him. When we broke up, I put that all behind me. I was just doing my job," Camille pleaded. She was nearly in tears, but Kate knew better than to let the waterworks trick her.

"So you were his nurse and you didn't know a patient had died? That doesn't seem very careful of you," challenged Kate.

"Well I didn't come into work yesterday," said Camille, defensively.

"And why is that?" asked Castle.

"I had to go away."

"Try again. I think it's because you killed him," said Kate, rising from her seat and circling the small room.

"No, because I have a friend who was in need of help."

"So tell me why you were going in Indonesia," Kate said, power dripping from her words.

"I told you, I have a friend who needed help. I was trying to get there as soon as possible."

"And this friend conveniently needed help in a non-extradition country?"

"She's working on Teach for America. She needed money."

"So why didn't you just send her money?" asked Castle, still sitting at the table.

"She told me to come to Indonesia and that she needed me to be there personally. I have a feeling she got into trouble."

"Tell me this friend's name," said Kate.

"Kira Meyer."

"You better hope she can corroborate your story, Ms. Sanders. Where were you between three and three fifteen two nights ago?"

"I-I was at home asleep."

"Let me guess, alone?"

"Well, yeah."

"Does your building have a doorman?" asked Kate, returning to her seat across from Camille.

"No, but I ran into one of my neighbors when I got home."

"And what time was that?"

"Around midnight."

Kate nodded, making another note on her pad. "And what's the name of the neighbor that saw you?"

"Mr. Jenkins, he lives in the apartment across the hall from me."

"Great, we'll be sure to check into it. You're free to go, but don't leave town," said Kate, gathering up her things. She picked up the file and walked out of the room with Castle following like a lost puppy.

* * *

><p>"Hey Esposito," Kate said, approaching his desk. "I need you to run these names and alibis. My gut says she didn't kill him, but I don't believe that she's telling us everything she knows," Kate finished, handing Esposito the piece of paper with the names of Camille's friend and neighbor.<p>

"You got it, Boss."

"Hey, check this out," Ryan piped up from behind the threesome. "I was running the visitor's list for the vic's room, and check out what I found." Ryan paused for effect, but Kate was getting impatient.

"What?"

Ryan smiled, knowing that he had made his boss tick. "Mortimer Killingsworth had two visitors." He paused again. Kate gave him a 'if-you-don't-say-something-soon-I'm-going-to-give-you-desk-work-for-the-next-month' look. "One was Charles Manning, our vic's coworker."

Kate raised her eyebrows waiting for Ryan to give the second name. "Okay…" she prompted.

"And...," he said, drawing out the word. Off Kate's impatient look, he decided he had waited long enough. "The second visitor was Ms. Emily Killingsworth—"

"That's his daughter. She lied to us," said Kate incredulously.

"See? I told you it was good," Ryan said, smiling.

"Wait, so why was the coworker so important?" asked Castle.

"Well, we ran background, and apparently Mr. Manning and our vic have been working together for a long time, and they were best friends."

"Okay, great. Ryan, I want to get the daughter back in here, and then I want to talk to this coworker."

Ryan nodded and began making phone calls.

Beckett sat at her desk going over the notes she took from her interrogation with the ex-girlfriend.

She forced herself to focus – there was no way that she could let herself get side tracked…again. Kate needed to give this case all of her attention, no matter what was going on in her life. She watched Castle go to the break room, presumably to get another cup of coffee. Kate took that opportunity to clear her head. She had always been good at compartmentalizing, and she used the skill once she sat at her desk and faced the files. She inhaled deeply, taking every emotion and thought related to Castle and Josh and put it in a box and sealed it up tight. Until she was off for the night, or until the case was closed, she was not going to open the box. Mortimer Killingsworth deserved more than a half-assed attempt at solving his murder.

"Hey, I was wondering if you wanted some lunch," said Castle, easing himself into his chair.

"That's okay, I'm not that hungry," Kate replied, smiling at his sentiment.

"Well that stinks for you, because I just ordered your favorite Chinese dish. It'll be here in ten minutes. And you better eat up. I'm watching you," he said, emphasizing the last line by putting on a creepy accent.

Kate was touched by how much he cared, yet it annoyed her because already it was as if he took a crow bar and was trying to pry the lid off of her nice, newly compartmentalized box. She refused to let her feelings show, instead choosing to turn back to her computer screen.

Before she could get much work done – before the food could come – Beckett's phone buzzed. She checked the message and turned to Castle.

"CSU found the syringe that had the hymenoptera on it," she said, slightly astonished that they had been able to recover it.

"Were there any prints?"

"Yeah, but they're not in our system. Just our luck, huh? We find the DNA evidence that can link a guy to the murder, but we have no prints to match them to."

"Don't you hate it when that happens?" asked Castle, wincing in disappointment. Kate only had time to give him a strange look before his phone rang, signaling that their lunch had arrived.

"Detective, I expect you to be in the break room with Ryan and Esposito by the time I get back," he said, getting up and heading for the elevator. Kate rolled her eyes, but couldn't deny the noises her stomach was making.

"Hey boys," she called across the bull pen. "Castle got us some lunch."

Ryan and Esposito all but ran to the break room. _Boys_, thought Kate. _Always running towards the food_.

Kate went to the espresso machine to pour herself a nice cup of coffee to go with lunch when she was hit with the succulent scent of Moo Shoo Pork, General Tso's Chicken, Pad See You, Scallion Pancakes, Crispy Beef, and some indiscernible tofu dish for Ryan.

"Thanks bro," said Esposito, grabbing a set of chopsticks and a white carton labeled 'MSP' in messy block letters.

"My pleasure," said Castle, handing a takeout box to Kate. He took one for himself while Ryan rooted around for the vegetarian dish.

"Ryan," Kate began. "When is the sister coming back?"

"She'll be here in an hour," he said, his mouth full.

"Swallow first next time," she chastised.

Ryan smiled and returned to his meal. The three detectives and the writer ate, enjoying the reprieve that food gave them. They bantered back and forth about nothing significant, doing their best to clear their minds of the case, even just for a short while.

"Hey Esposito," said Karpowski, poking her head into the break room.

Esposito looked up from his lunch. "Any news on Sanders' alibi?"

"Yeah, Mr. Jenkins confirms seeing Sanders come home just before midnight. Apparently he had to run out and get some medication. He was an old fart."

The three guys chuckled while Kate rolled her eyes.

"And the friend in Indonesia?" prompted Esposito.

"Still no word from. I'll let you know."

"Thanks Karpowski," said Esposito, smiling.

"No problem. Let me know if you need anything else."

They all nodded and Karpowski went back to her desk. Kate rounded on the detective.

"Do you want to tell me why Karpowski is doing your work?"

"She wasn't doing my work," defended Esposito.

"Oh really? Then why did she just fill is in on Sanders' alibi? I believe I gave that assignment to you."

Ryan and Castle were looking between the two in barely contained excitement. They could tell Kate wasn't actually mad, but it was her duty to act as if it annoyed her.

"Well, I got in touch with them, but since we were going on our lunch break, I asked Karpowski if she could make sure that we didn't miss anything," explained Esposito.

"Ah," said Kate, nodding her head in understanding. She smiled slightly, enjoying making her teammate squirm. No, she didn't really care that Karpowski had taken that mission, but any chance she could get to joke around with her team – especially during a trying case – she would take. "Okay, enough sitting around. Ryan, I want you to check on that warrant for Killingsworth's financials, and Esposito, once you finish doing the task I assigned you, I'd like it if you could finish going through the vic's phone records. I want a run down of any numbers that pop."

The duo nodded, recognizing that their lunch break was over. Kate went to the sink and dumped out the rest of her coffee. It was cold by then, and she had drunk enough.

"Beckett, are you sure you're okay?" Castle tried again, seizing the opportunity that the empty break room provided. He leaned with his backside against the counter beside the sink. Kate was still facing the sink, washing out her mug.

Kate paused in her scrubbing. "Castle, please stop asking. I'm fine. Right now we need to focus on the case and get it solved so people can have closure."

She took a deep breath and returned to cleaning the cup. She saw Castle nod out of the corner of her eye, and sighed in relief. She managed to dodge his attempted yet again. Maybe she really could keep her feelings in a box until the case was over.

Kate took the clean mug back to her desk and Castle followed, as usual.

"Why do you think the daughter lied to us?" he asked, leaning his chin on his palm.

"I don't know. There could be many reasons, but I guess we'll find out soon enough."

"Sooner than you think," said Esposito, coming over to the two of them. "There she is now." He pointed to a confused looking woman standing by the elevators being led into an Interrogation Room by a uniform.

"Okay Castle, you ready?" Kate asked, gathering her files and notes.

"My dear Detective, I was born ready," teased Castle, getting up and trailing behind her towards the box.

Kate rolled her eyes, but inside, she was grateful for his ability to crack jokes. It helped her clear her mind before she had to face a broken hearted daughter.

She opened the door to the brightly lit room and began what was going to be a tough interrogation.

**So I hope you liked it. Now for my long AN that's really for my own peace of mind.**

**1. Please tell me what you thought of Castle's flashback...I like it, but I want to know what you think.**

**2. I have big plans for this case, so hang tight. I hope it's not too boring, and that everyone is in character.**

**Huh, surprisingly little to talk about. I guess that means that I can just freak out a little more to you guys about how soon September 19th is! I'm counting down the days!**

**So yeah, next update will hopefully be by this weekend. Please leave me a review and let me know what you think. I love to hear your feedback and constructive criticism. I respond to all reviews. Thanks to everyone who has been following and reviewing - you guys are the reason I write.**

**Best, Mangotango101**


	11. Chapter 11

**Hello happy readers! And so the case continues. Yippee. I hope you enjoy this chapter and it's not too confusing or boring. My goal was that this would read something like the episodes play out - that's how I imagined each scene to occur.**

**I'm not going to give a lot away here, so I'll just let you be on your merry way of reading. There are some references to some things that are real, and I don't own any of them.**

**Because of Hurricane Irene, my plans for tomorrow were cancelled, so power permitting, I'm hoping that I'll be able to get another chapter up tomorrow before I leave until Wednesday, but we'll see. So if you don't see anything until Wednesday or Thursday, my apologies - mother nature clearly wasn't on my side.**

**Disclaimer: Nothing that is remotely familiar is mine. I only own the characters I made up, but all things related to _Castle _belong to ABC, Andrew W. Marlowe, or whoever legally owns them. Anything else recognizable belongs to their respective owners. I am not getting any monetary gain from this story - it's purely entertainment. No copyright infringement is intended.**

**Chapter 11**

"Why am I here, Detective?" Emily Killingsworth demanded the moment the unconventional couple entered the small interrogation room.

"You lied to us," said Kate simply.

"What? I don't know what you're talking about," said Emily, looking frantically from Kate to Castle.

"I think you know exactly what we're talking about," Castle told her quietly, taking a seat at the steel table.

"I—"

"Ms. Killingsworth, we have it on record that you came to visit your father in the hospital," began Kate. Emily looked a bit scared. "Do you care to tell us why you lied earlier?"

The young woman didn't say anything. She continued to look around the interrogation room with fear in her eyes. Kate decided to change her tactics.

"Ms. Killingsworth, I know that the last few days have been hard for you. You just lost your father; we understand that. Don't you want to find his killer?" Kate said soothingly, trying to get the other woman to open up.

Emily just nodded, tears welling in her eyes.

"Then you need to tell me why you lied about being in your father's room."

"My father disowned me about a year ago," Emily began, tears flowing down her cheeks. "I had started dating Charlie and my father really hated him, but I refused to break up with Charlie. I loved him very much, but my father didn't see it. He gave me a choice – him or my boyfriend. I chose Charlie. I heard that my dad was in the hospital, and so I went to make sure he was okay. I still loved my dad, even though I wasn't his daughter anymore."

"What happened then?" asked Castle.

"He got mad at me. He asked me why I came and I told him because I still cared about him. My father asked 'If you still care about me, why'd you choose the punk over me?' I began to cry and asked my father for forgiveness, but he wouldn't give it to me. He kicked me out of his room."

"Ms. Killingsworth," said Kate quietly. "Why didn't you tell us this before?"

"I was in shock. I didn't want to think that the last thing my father said to me was 'get out and never see me again.' If I pretended that I never was there, then I can remember my last words to him from when I made my decision. I told him I'd always love him. That's how I wanted to remember him."

Kate nodded in understanding. "Did you kill your father?"

Emily looked horrified. "No! How could you even think that?"

"Because you had motive and opportunity. Now tell me again, where were you between three and three fifteen the night your father was murdered."

"I was with Charlie. He stayed over at my house and we were sleeping. There are security cameras in the lobby of my building. You can check those."

"Thank you, Ms. Killingsworth. You're free to go, but don't leave town," said Kate, getting up. She collected her files and stalked out of the room.

* * *

><p>"Do you believe her?" asked Castle as the pair walked back to the bull pen.<p>

"She had motive and opportunity," replied Kate. "Ryan, could you look through the security footage for the daughter's building and check when her boyfriend, Charlie, came and whether either of them left that night."

"Sure thing. Financials came through. There were no red flags."

"Great, thanks."

Kate walked back to her desk while Castle veered off to the break room to make them each some coffee.

"Yo," said Esposito, coming over to Kate's desk. "Just heard from the friend in Indonesia. Your nurse was telling the truth; her friend is working with Teach for America in Indonesia and called asking for money—"

"So she has a good reason for going to a non-extradition country…fantastic," said Kate, getting up to make a note on the murder board.

"Not so fast," Esposito told her. Kate paused in the uncapping of the dry erase marker. "I never said that she was telling the truth. I just said that the friend needed money. This friend also asked specifically that the money be sent by a money transfer. Sanders had no reason to go to Indonesia."

"So then Sanders was lying about why she was trying to leave the country," muttered Kate.

"My Detective, you're looking pensive," said Castle, handing her a cup of coffee. "What did I miss?"

"Nurse Sanders' story about Indonesia fell apart."

"No way," breathed Castle.

Kate rolled her eyes, but continued explaining anyway. "Apparently, the friend asked that the money be transferred, not taken in person."

Castle smiled manically while Kate gave him a weird look. "This is so cool," cried Castle.

"Why?"

"Do I really need to explain?" Esposito and Kate gave him a look that made it clear that he _did _need to explain. "A guy is poisoned in a hospital, everyone's alibis and stories are lies…what more do you need?"

"A killer, maybe," said Kate, giving him a 'you're-an-idiot' look.

"Don't ruin my story with your logic," he answered.

"Hey," said Ryan, coming to the murder board. "I got in touch with the worker, Henry Garfield. He's coming in now."

"Great, thanks, Ryan," said Kate, stalking off to the interview lounge.

"What were Mom and Dad bickering about this time?" Ryan asked Esposito, smiling.

"Why this case is so cool."

"It is so cool," said Ryan, defensively.

"Dude…," replied Esposito.

"What?"

Esposito shook his head in disappointment. "You're hopeless, bro."

Ryan opened and closed his mouth trying to form a response, but when he came up short, Esposito shook his head and turned back to his desk.

* * *

><p>"Mr. Garfield, we're very sorry for your loss. You worked with Mr. Killingsworth, is that correct?" Kate asked, sitting on a chair across from a forlorn looking man.<p>

He could be considered intimidating – he had a large frame and, if he had been standing, he could easily be 6 foot 7 inches – but sitting crumpled on a couch, he looked like any other man who had just lost his best friend.

"Yes. We've been working together for over ten years. I just can't believe that he's gone. He was the best of all of us. Who would do such a thing?"

"We're doing everything we can to find the person. Do you know of anyone who would want to cause him harm?"

"No, I mean, he had his ex-girlfriend, but they were on speaking terms. She wouldn't do anything to him, and none of our workers would either. We all respected Morty."

"Did you know he was allergic to hymenoptera?" asked Castle, speaking up for the first time.

"Yeah, everyone knew. We were all super careful, and we all knew the protocol on the off chance he did get bitten."

"And what was that?"

"Someone would stab him with the EpiPen he kept in his pocket, another person would call an ambulance, someone else would call his daughter, and another person would call the foreman to let him know. When the ambulance came, one guy would go with him to the hospital to make sure he was settled."

"Did you ride with him?" asked Kate.

"Not this time. My six-year-old was recently diagnosed with Type 1 Diabetes, so I've taken off a lot of time. I've used up almost all of my sick days, and I know that I'm going to have to miss more work once my daughter comes home from the hospital."

"I'm very sorry to hear that. Which hospital is your daughter at?"

"Bellevue. The same hospital that Morty went to."

"Did you visit Mr. Killingsworth while he was at the hospital?"

"Of course. I felt bad that I couldn't go with him, so once I got off of work, I went to visit my daughter and I poked my head into his room to see how he was doing."

"And what time was that?"

"I don't know, around seven, seven thirty?"

"I'm sorry, Mr. Garfield, but we have to ask you. Where were you between three and three fifteen two nights ago?"

Mr. Garfield didn't say anything, but he squirmed in his seat, refusing to look at Kate or Castle.

"Mr. Garfield, we need to know where you were the night Mr. Killingsworth was murdered."

"I was in bed," he began quietly.

"Alone?" asked Castle.

"No."

"Who were you with, Mr. Garfield?" asked Kate, her voice turning into an interrogation voice versus the interview voice she had been using.

"I was with Camille."

"His ex-girlfriend?" Castle asked incredulously.

Mr. Garfield nodded.

"Thank you, Mr. Garfield, you've been a great help. I'm sorry about your loss. If there's anything else that you think of, please don't hesitate to call," Kate said, getting up from the couch.

The detective and the writer went back to Kate's desk and took a seat.

"Why didn't Sanders tell us she was having an affair?" asked Castle, leaning on the desk.

"I don't know. Why did she lie about going to Indonesia?"

"Touché, Detective," said Castle.

"Hey boys," she called across the bull pen. "I need you to question the nurse again about why she lied about Indonesia, and also why she lied about her alibi."

"Where was she?" asked Ryan.

"With the coworker. Also, can you run background on Garfield? I have a feeling he's hiding something."

"On it," said Esposito, picking up the phone to call the nurse.

"Come on, Castle, let's see if Lanie has anything for us."

* * *

><p>"So Ms. Sanders," said Ryan, casually leaning back on the steel chair in the interrogation room. "Why'd you lie?"<p>

"I'm sorry, but what did I lie about?"

"Your alibi…oh, and why you were fleeing the country."

"I wasn't lying. You must be mistaken. Did you talk to Mr. Jenkins?"

"Yeah we talked to him. But we also talked to Henry Garfield who gave us a _different_ story about where you were that night."

"I don't know any Henry Garfield," said Camille, trying to play cool, but failing.

"So is this how it's gonna go? You're just going to keep lying to us? I think we can deal with that," said Esposito turning to Ryan.

"Yeah," agreed Ryan, immediately seeing what Esposito was doing and followed along. "There's this thing, and it's called Obstruction of Justice. Did you know you could be put in jail for it?" Esposito told her.

"Oh yeah, twenty years. And you can be fined for it."

"Ooh, that must suck, don't you think, Ryan? Jailed and fined, just because you didn't answer some questions."

Camille still wasn't saying anything, but the two detectives could tell that she would break soon enough.

"And before being put in the slammer, you get to hang out in holding for a while," added Ryan.

"You know, it's pretty full right now…I think the only open cell is the one with the big dude who is going through his violent stage of withdrawal from meth, isn't that right?"

"Yeah, I would not—"

"Fine, fine!" cried Camille, breaking. Ryan and Esposito glanced at each other, but kept their poker faces on. "I was sleeping with Henry Garfield. He came over to my house after I got home."

"Why did you tell us this before?" asked Esposito.

"Well how would it sound, Detective? My ex-boyfriend had just been murdered and I was sleeping with his best friend. I didn't want to implicate anyone."

"Are you implicating someone?" Ryan asked, jumping at her slip.

"No," Camille amended quickly. "How could you even think that?"

"Because by not telling us immediately, you made both of you seem all the more guilty."

"We're not guilty. He came over around one and stayed the night. He was there when I got up in the morning."

"And Indonesia?" asked Ryan, consulting his file.

"I really do have a friend who needed money," she began.

"Oh we know. But why'd you lie about going there? Your friend specifically asked that you _don't_ come to see her. So, why were you going?"

"I needed to get away. I thought that if I left then I wouldn't have to think about it. I thought I could run away from it."

"That's a good story, but unfortunately, by running away, you made yourself look a hell of a lot more guilty."

"Please, you have to believe me. I didn't leave my apartment that night."

"Do you have proof?" asked Esposito.

Camille was silent, thinking. "Yeah, actually, I do," she said finally. Ryan and Esposito shared a surprised look, but leaned in, waiting for her alibi. "I bought some books on Amazon at four that morning."

"Why were you up so early?" Ryan asked, narrowing his eyes.

"I was already up early to get ready for my trip, and so I decided to get some books for my Kindle."

"You said Mr. Garfield was with you the whole night and when you woke up. Was he there at four?"

"Yeah. He was sleeping; he was even in the same position as when he fell asleep earlier."

"Well we're going to check your credit cards. I suggest that you don't leave town," said Esposito, gathering the papers and leaving the room.

* * *

><p>"Lanie have anything helpful?" asked Ryan, approaching Kate's desk. She and Castle had returned from the morgue, disappointed with the results.<p>

"That would be negatory," said Castle. Kate gave him a weird look because of his word choice.

"What did you get out of Sanders?"

"Nothing helpful."

"Anything from the background?"

"Not yet," said Ryan regretfully.

Kate leaned back in her chair and ran her hands through her hair in frustration. "This case is all dead ends. Our three suspects now have solid alibis, and there are no red flags in his phones or financials."

Kate was distracted from her rant by her phone _beep_ing. She checked the display and saw that Josh had texted her. She looked up and saw Ryan and Castle looking at her expectantly.

"What?" she asked defensively

"Nothing," Ryan answered quickly, scampering away to his desk.

"Dr. Motorcycle Boy?" Castle asked, nodding to the phone.

"I wish you wouldn't call him that," Kate chastised, opening the text.

_I was an ass. Dinner tonight? xo—Josh_

Castle saw the pain and confusion on her face. "Is everything okay?"

Kate looked up at Castle, not really sure how to deal with the fact that he was curious about her relationship with Josh.

"Yeah, everything's fine," she said, brushing off his concern.

"You sure?"

"Castle," Kate said warningly.

"Okay, but just remember…I'm here if you need to talk."

Kate felt the corners of her mouth tip upward. She wished that Castle would stay out of her personal life. It would be so much easier for her to deal with Josh if Castle wasn't so damn caring. They had been through so much together that sometimes it made Kate feel guilty for not letting him in more often, but she couldn't let her feelings go there. She knew that as soon as she crossed that line of even _thinking_ of Castle as something more than a partner, then there was no turning back.

She felt her temples beginning to ache. The case was driving them in circles and leading them to dead ends on all fronts. They had no suspects, nothing new from the autopsy, and they didn't know much about the vic. They had called the company and were told yesterday that the foreman was out of town at a conference in California and wouldn't be back until the next day. As hard as they tried, they couldn't get him back before tomorrow morning. It was already early in the evening, but Kate felt that her night wasn't near over.

Kate reached for her phone to answer Josh when Esposito and Ryan came up to her desk.

"Yo," he said, standing across from her. "We got a body on Ninety Third and Lex."

Kate sighed deeply. She checked her watch and saw that it was later than she had thought.

"Great," she said sarcastically. She looked at her partner, but he was too engrossed in some video game that he hadn't heard Esposito. "Come on, Castle. There's been a murder."

"Ooh really? Where?"

"Don't sound so excited. It's already seven and we just got another body."

"Fine, ruin all my fun," he said, disappointed. Kate rolled her eyes, grabbed her keys and took the elevator down with the rest of her team.

* * *

><p>"Hey Perlmutter," Kate said, approaching the crime scene. They were in a small alley way on 93rd, right off Lex. The street was pretty deserted, but it was a residential area; people must have been eating dinner.<p>

"Where's Lanie?" asked Castle.

"How should I know? I just get a call and I come. Now, do you want to know about the dead guy or not?" said Perlmutter in his usual crankiness.

"Yes please," Kate replied, trying to keep the air civil. She wished that Lanie was working the body; she didn't have the energy to deal with Perlmutter's snark.

"Caucasian female, mid thirties. Her driver's license says her name is Rebecca O'Leary. There are no defense marks or contusions. Lividity and body temp put her time of death sometime after four this afternoon."

"Could you be more specific?" asked Castle, tentatively.

"Mr. Castle, in case you don't know, I'm going on first sights. I'll know more once I get her back to the lab."

"Thank you, Perlmutter," said Kate, breaking the tension. "Cause of death?"

The cranky ME turned to Kate with a look of disdain. "Looks like your garden variety pop and drop. She was shot once to the head."

"Caliber?"

"Small. Probably Glock .22."

"There's no exit hole," Castle remarked, stepping around the body.

"Well, if it is a .22, then the bullet would have gone in, but not come out. .22s go in and rattle around in the brain, destroying brain matter," explained Perlmutter.

"That is so _cool_!" cried Castle, pulling out his writer's pad to make the note.

Kate rolled her eyes and shook her head. "Castle, dead body, a little respect."

"You can't say that isn't at least a bit cool?" he asked, looking let down.

"_No_," she said slowly. Kate turned back to Perlmutter who was looking at them in disdain. "Robbery?" she asked.

"Nope, her purse and wallet are still here. All her money, credit cards, and jewelry are still her."

Kate let out a large puff of air. A pop and drop was just what she needed to top off a fully frustrating day.

"Great. Thanks, Perlmutter."

He grunted in response and continued to check the body for any other visible signs that would give him more information.

"Hey Esposito," she said, calling over her partners. "Any witnesses?"

"Nope, but unis are canvassing. We know there's a traffic cam at the intersection, so we'll look through that."

"That's a start, at least. Have unis check nearby trashcans and dumpsters for the murder weapon. Get CSU to sweep the alley for fibers and prints. You and Ryan start knocking on doors. Someone must have heard something. Castle and I will talk to the next of kin and start looking through the traffic cam footage."

Esposito nodded and headed off to get Ryan so they could start their canvas. Kate began to walk back to her car, leaving Perlmutter and the CSUs to deal with the body.

"Castle, if you want to cut out early, I understand," she said as she turned on the car.

"What do you mean?" he asked, buckling his seatbelt.

"It's going to be a long night. We have to get in touch with the vic's next of kin, and it's already close to eight. Would you like me to drop you off at your apartment?"

"Not a chance," he said. Kate smiled, glad that he wanted to stay and help. "But if it's going to be a long night, we should stop for some pizza."

"Sounds perfect. Terrific Nick's?" she asked.

"No, Authentic Terrific Nick's. That's the best pizza on this side of the bridge."

Kate rolled her eyes, but drove to the pizza parlor. They picked up a couple of pies and put them in the backseat.

"That pizza smells so good," said Castle, breathing deeply. "I'm hungry. Can I have a slice?"

"No. You know my policy about eating in the car. Also, you should wait like everyone else."

Castle pouted, but didn't say another word about his rumbling stomach.

They reached the precinct and put the pizzas in the refrigerator. Castle made two cups of coffee, and added an extra shot to Kate's.

"Here," he said, handing her the steaming cup. "I added an extra shot of espresso. I assumed you'd need it."

Kate was touched, again, by how attentive he was to her. She didn't know anyone else who would have even though of putting the extra caffeine in her coffee.

"How are you doing on getting the next of kin?" he asked, taking a sip of his own latte.

"I found the vic's husband." Kate paused, trying to figure out how to pronounce the name. She said it tentatively. "Faolan O'Leary…?"

"I think it's pronounced 'fwail-lawn,'" came a voice from behind Kate. She turned abruptly and saw Ryan standing, looking at the file over her shoulder.

"What?" she asked, confused.

"The vic's husband. He's an Irishman. Faolan. It's not pronounced 'f-ow-lin,' it's pronounced 'fwail-lan.'"

"And you know this how?" asked Castle, just as dumbfounded as Kate and Esposito.

Ryan looked at each of his colleagues' surprised faces and realized that they thought he was joking. "What? I'm Irish," Ryan said, as if that explained everything. "I have cousins. Some of their names are even weirder than this one."

"Dude, who would name their kid Faolan?" asked Esposito, biting back a laugh.

"It's a pretty common name in Ireland."

Esposito shook his head.

"Okay, guys, he's Irish, we get it. Did you find anything on the canvas?"

"Yeah," began Esposito. "The guy who found her said that after he saw the body, he ran back out the alley to see if he could see who did it. He said that there was a man dressed in blue jeans and a red hoodie who was walking swiftly north on Lex. He was walking so quickly that it looked suspicious. We're waiting for the traffic cams so we can see if we can get a face. Until then, we sent out for an APB based on first sight."

"Great. The neighbors see anything?"

"Nope. None of them heard anything either. Our guy used a silencer," said Ryan.

"Okay. I'm going to call the husband. You guys check in with Perlmutter and the unis, see if they got any hits."

"On it, boss," said Esposito, walking away with Ryan in tow.

"Oh wait," she called after them. They turned to face her. "There's pizza in the break room if you're hungry. Don't take too long."

The two detectives made a beeline for the break room, seeming to forget the task Beckett had assigned them. Kate rolled her eyes at the boys' insatiable desire for food and then sobered up when she looked down and saw the name and the umber on the sheet of paper in front of her.

Kate took a deep breath and reached for the phone.

"Do you want me to leave?" asked Castle, looking at Kate, seeing the struggle in her eyes.

Part of her wanted Castle there for the moral support, but part of her knew that she had never asked him to stay before ad if she suddenly did, then it would be a little weird. She gave Castle a reassuring half smile and said, "I think it'll be easier without an audience."

Castle nodded and hefted himself out of his chair. He reached for his coat and began to walk to the elevators. Kate felt a moment of panic when she thought he was leaving for the night. She squashed it down, wondering where it came from.

"Where you going?" she asked.

He heard the worry in her voice and he smiled back. "Worried you'll miss me, Detective?" he teased. Kate raised her eyebrows and he realized she wasn't in any mood to be making jokes. "I'm just kidding," he said. "I'm going out for a minute. I'll be back before you know it."

She watched as the elevator doors shut and then she closed her eyes for a long moment. It had been a rough day and she didn't want to make the phone call that would change Faolan O'Leary's life.

Kate reached for her desk phone for the second time, but before she had a chance to dial the number, her cell phone chimed. She realized that she hadn't answered Josh's text and saw that he had sent another one.

_Everything okay? Should I come over? I'm sorry. xo—Josh _

Kate sighed. She didn't have the energy to deal with Josh at the moment. She sent him a short message in reply.

_Long day. Still at work. –Kate_

She hit 'send' and placed her phone beside the monitor. She took her desk phone in her hand for the third time and dialed the number.

"'ello?" answered a gruff male voice with a thick Irish accent.

"Hello. Is this Faolan O'Leary?" she asked, making sure to pronounce his name correctly.

"Aye. Wot can I do for ye, lassie?"

"You're married to Rebecca O'Leary, is that correct?"

"Aye. Did somethin' 'appen to 'er?" he asked, concern lacing through his voice.

"I'm sorry to say this, Mr. O'Leary, but your wife was found dead earlier tonight."

"Wot?" he asked weakly. "Dead? Becky? No, yer lyin'. She can't be dead."

"I'm so sorry for your loss Mr. O'Leary."

"Wot am I supposed to do now, Detective?"

"We need you to come downtown to ID the body, and if you're up to it, we need to ask you a few questions, but we can also come by tomorrow, if that's better for you."

"But I still have to come by tonight, eh?" he asked. Kate could hear that he was doing his best to contain his grief – at least until they got off the phone.

"Yes."

"Well, can we do the question'in' tomorrow? I don't think I'm up to it tonight."

"Of course, Mr. O'Leary. We're at the 12th Precinct in Manhattan."

"I'll be there within the hour. Thank you for callin', Detective."

"Don't thank me, Mr. O'Leary. I'll meet you here and I'm very sorry about your loss."

"Bye, Detective," he said. The line _click_ed and then she heard the dial tone.

Kate leaned back in her chair and closed her eyes. She took a deep breath, trying to calm her racing mind.

"Detective Beckett," said a calming voice. Kate opened her eyes and saw the Captain standing near her desk.

"Yes, sir," she said, sitting up properly.

"How is everything going?"

"Well, with the Killingsworth case, all of our suspects at this point have solid alibis and we have no new leads. The boys are running a background check on the coworker and we're meeting with the foreman of the site tomorrow."

"And the new case?"

"I just got off the phone with the husband. He's coming in to ID the body, and Castle and I will go out to talk to him tomorrow. I think we're going to stay here running her phones and financials for a while."

"Are you sure you can handle all this?" the Captain asked, concerned.

"Yes, sir, of course."

"Beckett, it's already eight thirty. The husband won't be here for a while, but I want to make sure that you're planning on going home tonight."

"Sir, I—" she began with a trace of disbelieving laughter in her voice.

"Beckett, I know you," Montgomery interrupted. "I know that you're going to dive into this new case head first, but you got it late and you need your rest. I want you and your team out of here by eleven, is that understood?"

"But—"

"No buts, Detective. You guys are out of here by eleven. That's an order."

Kate looked defeated. She didn't want to go home to an empty apartment, but since Montgomery was ordering her…

"Yes, sir. I'll let the boys know."

Montgomery nodded and returned to his office. Kate turned to organize her desk a little before heading to grab a slice of pizza, but before she could get far, she heard the elevator doors _ping._

"Hey Castle," she said when he came to sit next to her.

"Hello Detective."

"How was your walk?" she asked, slightly sarcastic.

"It was refreshing. I got you something." He put a paper bag on her desk and she looked at it apprehensively. "Go on, open it. It's nothing harmful."

Kate shot him another wary look before carefully opening the paper bag. The first thing she saw was a small box that had 'Magnolia Bakery' imprinted in swirly letters.

"What's this?" she asked, gingerly taking the box from the bag.

"Just a little something I got to cheer you up. You seemed a little down earlier."

Kate rolled her eyes. "Well a woman _had _been murdered."

"Mere details, my dear Detective. Open it," he encouraged.

She untied the small gold bow and lifted the top of the box to reveal a cute red velvet cupcake that had an icing pen with red sugar at the tip to look like blood. Kate smiled and let out a small laugh.

"I just thought you needed something to lift your spirits. We seem to have a long couple days ahead of us," said Castle, gauging her reaction.

"Thank you Castle," she said with a smile. "That's really sweet."

"Check out what else is in the bag," he said, nudging the paper bag closer to her.

She reached in and pulled out a small bottle of Advil and a bottle of water. "What's this?" she asked, reading the label of the pills.

"I saw that you've been rubbing your temples recently. In case it gets really bad," he explained.

Kate's mind was reeling. How Castle knew the perfect gift was beyond her. He didn't even _need_ to get her anything, yet here she was, staring at a custom made cupcake (red velvet – her favorite) and stuff for the headache that was pressing behind her eyes. Josh had never done anything so thoughtful. Sure, he brought her ice cream or chocolate, but they were never this personal, nor did they ever spark such a feeling deep within her gut.

She didn't really know how to respond to what Castle had given her. She felt a pull at her stomach, but she refused to realize what it meant. Even though Josh had blown her off after she told him about her mom, she still felt like he deserved a chance. They had been together for so long, that Kate didn't want to admit that she had wasted months of her life. If she gave in to the budding feelings she might (repeat…_might_) have for Castle, then it would be the same as admitting that she had wasted nearly a year of her life. Life was precious, and if she had spent months with a guy, just to break up with him for her best friend, then in Kate's mind, something was seriously wrong. She didn't give herself to anyone easily, and to even think that she let someone in, only to be blindsided by her partner, just made Kate feel awful about herself. So no, she wasn't going to let whatever she felt for Castle get in the way of trying to amend things with Josh.

Kate thought about what the cupcake implicated. It showed that Castle knew her better than her own boyfriend did. She had never told him that red velvet was her favorite, so she had no idea how he knew. He also went to the trouble to get something that would mean something to both of them, yet bring a smile to her face. And buying the Advil just seemed like something people in a relationship would do – not plutonic friends. How could he have known that she was getting a headache? For all she knew, she thought while rubbing her temples. But no, she was kidding herself. Castle was observant, and she knew it. It scared her how well he knew her, and it worried her that Josh didn't.

Rick was watching Kate with bated breath. He could see the gears in her mind turning and he wondered for a brief moment whether it was too much – whether he had overstepped. He hoped he didn't. When Rick saw how frustrated Kate was getting, he knew he had to do something to put a smile on her face. She didn't want an audience anyway, so he took a cab to the nearest bakery and one sighed copy of _Heat Wave_ later, he walked out with a custom designed cupcake.

Rick sincerely hoped that what he had done was okay. He was willing to do small things like that for Kate for as long as they were alive. He loved her with all his heart and it pained him to see her so frustrated with a case.

Castle saw confusion flicker in her eyes and decided to speak up before she tried to over analyze it too much.

"I'm sorry, I overstepped," he said, thinking that self-deprecation would be the easiest route to go.

"No, it's okay," she told him, meeting his eyes. "This was really nice of you. I needed this."

Castle smiled, but he was still unsure about whether she was telling him that to get him off her chest or whether she really meant it.

"It was my pleasure, Detective Beckett. Just trying to help out the force in any way I can," he said, jokingly.

"Well, the NYPD thanks you," she played along.

They sat, looking in each other's eyes, thinking about how maybe their friendship was beginning to bloom into something more.

Kate's heart rate increase and she felt a weird tickling feeling at the back of her throat. _No, I can't be thinking these things about Castle_, she chastised herself. _He's my friend, and _only_ my friend._

Castle wished more than anything that they weren't in the precinct, because if they weren't, he would probably tried to kiss her, just as he had a couple days ago. He was hopeful that she might not push him away. Who knew that such a simple gift of a cupcake and some Advil could move her so much? Had he known before, he would have done it long before.

"Hey, so…," said Ryan, trailing off when he realized the position that Kate and Castle were in. Ryan stopped short and Esposito nearly knocked into him. "Sorry, are we interrupting something?"

"No," said Kate, pulling away abruptly.

"Yes," said Castle at the same time.

Kate pushed some hair behind her ear and forced her breathing and heart to steady.

"What did you find?" she asked, attempting to act normal.

"Well the warrants came through for the phones and financials for Rebecca O'Leary. We're going to start running them down now," Esposito informed her.

"Okay great," she said. They began to walk away when she called after them, "By the way, we're under orders from the Captain to clear out at eleven."

They smiled in triumph to each other and did their signature fist bump hand shake type thing. She looked down at her files and saw the cupcake. In an effort the escape from some of the thoughts, she redirected her mind towards the dinner she had meant to eat earlier.

"Um, so," she began, looking at Castle. "You want to grab some pizza? I have a couple minutes before Mr. O'Leary will be here."

"Sure," he said, getting up from beside her desk. She nodded and also rose; taking one last look at the gift that was so much more than one friend buying another friend a treat. She didn't know what it meant, but she knew that it sure as hell wasn't a purely friendly gesture on Castle's side.

Kate sighed and followed Castle into the break room, promising herself that she wouldn't over analyze any more until she got home.

"Do you want plain or olive?" he asked her, his head buried in the refrigerator.

"Plain," she answered, enjoying how easily they slid back into their friendly banter.

While he grabbed two plates and two slices and brought them to the table, Kate prepared two cups of coffee. They met at the table and Kate smiled at how right it felt to be sitting there, eating dinner with Castle.

**Okay, now it's time for that annoying AN that probably no one reads, but that I write for peace of mind. Oh, in case you space out, like, now, just wanted to ask kindly for you to please leave me a review, because I love hearing from you and what you think of the story.**

**1. I hope you liked the Ryan/Esposito interrogation scene - I had lots of fun writing it. They have an awesome dynamic.**

**2. I really wanted to put Perlmutter in here, because he's one of my favorite characters - I think he's so funny.**

**3. So I'm a pacifist and I know _nothing_ about guns. I went to research guns and I found this website that's like Wikipedia, but for weaponry in media. They had a whole page about _Castle _and which guns were used in which episodes. It's was freaky, but really interesting. I learned a lot - hopefully, I'll never need any of that information though...**

**4. Hope you got the illusion to the Nick's pizza. I took what Beckett and Castle said in _Slice of Death_ while writing this (which has the best pizza...)**

**5. Ooh, the Irish name...that was fun. I tried to pick the most outlandish one, and I hope you thought that the eluding of Ryan's heritage was funny. On that note: sorry if how I wrote his accent was off and it came out sounding more Cockney...I was really trying...**

**6. In case you didn't get it, the cupcake topping is part of the _Castle _logo. I think that it was cute, but I would like to know whether you think it's too forward/out of character for Castle to get her the cupcake. Also, I hope you don't kill me for what Beckett is thinking, but I do hope you see the distinct shift in her thoughts - she's thinking more and more about how much easier it is with Castle and how much she think she might actually like him better (gasp!), and how her relationship with Josh is just a downright chore.**

**Okay, I've rambled enough! Woo hoo. Next chapter may or may not be up tomorrow, but if it's not, it will be by next Thursday. Please leave me a review, I really love to hear your feedback. Thank you for being such wonderful readers. Best, Mangotango101**


	12. Chapter 12

**Sorry this took so long...I was on a trip with my school. This is the next installment to the case - it really pushes forward here, so it's about to get interesting. I'm in a weird mood, so there's a lot of reflections and whatnot, so let me know if it's too much or something.**

**I don't really have much to say except I'm going to school next week, so updates will be slower, but I will try to have them every Monday (in time for Castle...or maybe after...probably after...)**

**A kind reviewer (Reuben) told me that my information about the guns was wrong, so I went back to change that - well I will once this gets posted. Thank you for catching that!**

**So I made myself a playlist of all the awesome songs played in Castle, and I've been listening to it while writing this. Haha. Anyway, I've rambled enough so...**

**Disclaimer: Castle does not belong to me, nor does anything recognizable. They all belong to their respective owners. I'm not making profit off of this, so please don't sue me. No copyright infringement is intended.**

**Chapter 12**

Kate felt as though she had escaped. Sitting with Castle talking about nothing really helped her forget momentarily that she had a head twisting case to deal with. She wished that she could stay there for the rest of the night.

"…and mother came downstairs in this sequined dress and said that she was 'on the prowl.' God, Beckett, it was…" Castle tailed off, shuddering. Kate had spaced out, but she did her best to pay attention to the tail end of his story. She took a bite of her pizza and laughed at the image of Martha gallivanting around the town.

She heard her phone buzz indicating she had a new text message. She put down her pizza, wiped her hands on a napkin and said, "It's Perlmutter. Faolan O'Leary must have come."

"Do you want me to come with you?" he asked, also wiping his hands on his napkin.

"If you want to."

She slid off her chair and cleaned off her space. She put the plate and napkin in the garbage and rinsed out her mug. She placed it on her desk as they passed.

"Hey, you going to be okay?" he asked as the elevator doors close.

Kate forwent words and simply pressed the button for the basement. "Castle," she began.

"Yeah?"

"Mr. O'Leary has a heavy Irish accent. You have to promise me that you aren't going to laugh or make fun of him, okay?"

"Gee, Beckett, how low do you think I am?" She shot him a look that he took to mean 'very.' "Fine, sorry. I won't say a thing." He mimed zipping his mouth shut while Kate rolled her eyes.

They stepped into the cold hallway and walked towards the voices at the end of the hall. She entered the swinging double doors and saw Perlmutter standing with a morgue assistant and a gruff looking man with a bright red beard. He had tears streaming down his face, making his beard look like there were crystals embedded in it.

"Mr. O'Leary?" Kate asked, announcing her presence.

He turned around and she saw that his blood shot eyes were bright green. "Aye. Are ye Detective Beckett?" he asked.

"Yes. I'm very sorry about your loss," she said, holding her hand out to shake his. She saw Castle out of her peripheral vision fighting back a laugh. "Is this your wife?"

"Aye."

Kate nodded to the morgue assistant who led Mr. O'Leary out of the autopsy room. Kate and Castle followed them into the hall. Before they caught up, Beckett shot Castle a withering glare and Castle tried to look innocent. When they reached the older man and the assistant, she motioned for the young man to leave them.

"Mr. O'Leary, I'm going to ask you again. We need to ask you a few questions, but if you're not up to it, we can come to your house tomorrow. Which would you like?"

"Could ye come by me 'ouse tomorrow? I don't tink I can talk about it now, ye know?"

Kate nodded in understanding and reached out to shake his hand once more. "Thank you for coming down, Mr. O'Leary. We'll come by tomorrow morning and have a little chat."

Faolan O'Leary nodded dejectedly and began to make his way towards the elevators. Once the doors shut, Kate leaned against the wall and let out a deep breath she had been holding.

"Okay Castle, it's a quarter to eleven. I'm going to check in with the boys and head home. Do you want a ride?"

"Sure, thanks."

Kate smiled and went to the elevators. She pressed the button for Level 4 and waited as the small box made its electronic _ding_s signifying each level.

"Yo Beckett," called Esposito as the pair stepped off the elevator.

"What's up?"

"We just got the financials back from the vic. No red flags, but we'll go over it in greater detail tomorrow."

"And the phone records?"

"Ryan's still working through them. Our vic seemed to like to make a _lot_ of calls."

"Great. I think I'm going to head out for the night. I'll see you boys in the morning."

"Sure thing, Boss."

Kate shut down her computer, grabbed her keys and purse, and head towards the elevators. "Don't forget about the background on Garfield. I want it on my desk by lunch time," she called behind her. She heard a chorus of "sure" and "'course" as the elevator doors closed.

As soon as she reached the sidewalk, she realized she hadn't thanked Castle again for the thoughtful gift. She pulled out her phone and slid open the keyboard.

_Thanks again for the cupcake and Advil. See you tomorrow. –KB_

She dumped her stuff in the passenger seat of her car and revved the engine. As she was driving home, her phone chimed with a text. Even though it was just after eleven at night, there was still a lot of traffic on her way home. Kate was stopped at a green light because of grid lock, so she fished her phone out of her purse. She read the message from Castle and felt that weird tickling sensation in her throat again.

_My pleasure, Detective. Remember, I'm only a phone call away. Until tomorrow. –RC_

Kate heard honking from behind her and realized that she now had just enough space to squeeze past the intersection. _New Yorkers_, she thought.

Kate pulled into her designated parking space and placed the NYPD sign on her dash, just in case. She gathered her belongings and trudged up the stairs. She couldn't wait to get into a nice, hot bath and just unwind after the long day. She turned the key in the lock and opened the door.

The first thing she noticed was that there were dishes in the sink. There hadn't been dishes in the sink when she had left that morning. Then she realized that the afghan that is always thrown over the back of her couch was laying half on the couch, half on the floor. She looked at the door and saw that there was no sign of forced entry, and no one had tampered with the lock. Her cop instincts took over as she quietly and slowly drew her gun. She tiptoed across the living room to the closed bed room door. She heard faint sounds of running water, and without loosening her grip on the gun, she slowly opened the door. She looked around her room and saw a backpack on the ground at the foot of her bed. She would know that backpack anywhere.

_What the hell is Josh doing in my apartment?_ She thought to herself as she re-holstered her gun. That was the second time she had drawn her gun in fear of attack, just to find out that it was Josh. _That must mean something, right? _She thought. _Maybe not_.

Kate went to the picture box and began her nightly ritual of placing the gun and badge in the box and before reverently taking off her parents' heirlooms.

"Hey babe," Josh said, coming out of the bathroom. Kate jumped, even though she knew he was there.

"Josh, what the hell are you doing here?" she asked, feeling annoyed.

"Well you said it was a long day, so I thought I'd come by and help you decompress."

Kate was speechless. She couldn't believe the audacity he had – fighting with her and then showing up at her apartment without her there.

"I thought that I had set the rules when I gave you that key," she said slightly angry.

"What do you mean?"

"You know, the whole 'don't come to my apartment if I'm not there' rule."

"But that was months ago. I thought that now since we've been going out for so long, that it would be okay."

"Okay? You thought it would be okay?" she asked, incredulous. "Josh, I trusted you when I gave you that key, and you're breaking that trust. I thought I made it clear that you are not to be in my apartment without me."

"But Kate—"

"No buts, Josh. I've had a long day, and I'd like it if you would please leave so I can get some rest."

"You sure you don't want me here? I could help you decompress," he said, wiggling his eyebrows suggestively.

"When I say go, I mean go," she said in her cop voice.

"Okay, I'm sorry, Kate. I just thought it would be a nice surprise."

Kate closed her eyes, praying for patience. "Josh, you know how I feel about surprises."

"Just because you're a cop doesn't mean that you have to live a life without a surprise now and then."

"I get _plenty_ of surprises at my job, and I don't need more when I get home. Now please leave."

Kate stalked out of her room and held open the front door. "I'm sorry, Kate," he said as he left looking like a rejected puppy.

"Good night, Josh," she told him, closing the door in his face. Kate leaned against the back of the door and took a deep calming breath. Coming home to Josh shouldn't be as painful as it was – coming home to Josh should be calming and happy. She pushed herself away from the door and went back to her bedroom where she finished her nightly ritual. She let the water run, making it as hot as she could bear. While she was waiting for her tub to fill up, she called Lanie.

"Hey girlfriend," a chipper voice said at the other end of the line. Kate was amazed that Lanie could have so much energy when it was close to midnight.

"Hi Lanie," said Kate, her voice not nearly as happy as her friend's.

"What's wrong?"

"How'd you know?"

"Sweetie, you try to hide it, but you're like an open book to me," Lanie said with a laugh.

"Great," said Kate sarcastically.

"So are you going to tell me, or am I going to have to come over there and smack it out of you."

"I came home tonight and Josh was here," began Kate.

"Then why are you on the phone with me and not making up with your smokin' boyfriend?"

Kate rolled her eyes at how blunt Lanie was being, but she couldn't help the smile that was tugging at the corners of her mouth. "Because I kicked him out."

"You what now?" asked Lanie in disbelief.

"I kicked him out."

"And why the hell would you do that?"

"Because I want to be alone."

"Are you sure you want to be alone, or do you just want to be with someone else."

"No, I want to be alone."

"Okay, girl, then why are you calling me?"

"Because I—"

"Mm hmm," said Lanie. "Now here's what you're gonna do, baby. You're going to hang up with me, get into your bath or whatever it is that you do and then you're gonna call your writer-boy."

"Lanie, that's not helping."

"Well what do you want me to say?" Kate rolled her eyes, but didn't answer. "Exactly," Lanie continued. "Now hang up this phone, decompress and call writer-boy."

"Good bye, Lanie," Kate said.

"Bye honey."

Kate pressed 'end' on her phone and left it on her night table. No, she wasn't going to call Castle – that would be counterintuitive at this point. She went to the bathroom and turned off the water stream. She lit a bunch of candles and sank into the warm, inviting bubbles. She let out an audible sigh as she leaned her head against the side of the tub. Just what she needed. Kate felt all the tension ebb away from her body and left her muscles feeling like liquid.

* * *

><p>The next morning dawned bright and early. Kate's alarm went off at 5:30, just as it always did. She dragged herself out of bed and hopped into the shower. She had her morning schedule down to the second, and every morning, she was triple checking the safety on her gun by 6:14. In the early morning traffic, she didn't reach the precinct until around 7:00 or 7:15.<p>

The moment she entered the bull pen, she began to create a murder board for Becky O'Leary. She carefully pasted pictures of the woman and the crime scene and made notes in neat block letters. She knew that Castle wouldn't be arriving for a couple of hours, so she made herself a nice latte. She brought the steaming mug back to her desk and added a few more notes to the white board. She moved some pictures from the 'suspect' column to the 'persons of interest' column on Killingsworth's board. She took a step back to admire her handy work before taking a seat at her desk and starting up her computer.

While the machine groaned and wheezed beside her, Kate took a blank sheet of paper from her leather bound file and began to write all the things that she needed to get done that day as of that morning. It was a ritual she had begun when she had become the lead detective of her team. Granted she had a smaller team than most of the other detectives, but they also usually had the wackiest, most convoluted cases, and she needed to do everything she could to keep it straight.

Kate made notes about the foreman of the construction site, Mr. O'Leary's house, checking the background of Harry Garfield, and running all the phones and financials of their new vic. She also wanted to check in with Perlmutter about the COD and the more exact TOD.

She was so wrapped up in her note making that she didn't hear the elevator doors open. To be honest, she didn't notice that anyone was with her in the bull pen until a shadow fell across her papers.

"Good morning, Beckett," said Castle in a calm voice, placing a fresh cup of coffee on her desk.

"Morning Castle. What are you doing here so early?"

"Well I knew that you'd be here at the break of dawn, so I thought I might keep you company."

"You're not usually even awake by now. Why did you come in early…for real."

"I missed your shining face," he said, smiling.

Kate rolled her eyes and then realized the only reason why Castle would be here as early as he was. "Lanie called you didn't she?" she asked, slightly annoyed that her friend went behind her back, but she was also grateful to Lanie – seeing Castle so early was a nice surprise (not an annoying one, like Josh showing up at her apartment uninvited).

"I don't know what you're talking about," Castle said, evasively, shifting in his chair.

"Please Castle, I am a trained detective. I know when someone is lying."

"I'm not lying."

Kate shot him a look before turning back to her papers, making a mental note to talk to Lanie about what the latter would tell Castle.

"So where's Ryan and Esposito?" he asked, taking a sip of coffee.

"What, pining for your girlfriends?" Kate teased. Castle narrowed his eyes at her and she felt a smile tugging at her lips. "They should be in soon. Since you're never usually here before nine, you wouldn't know, but they usually come at around eight."

Castle narrowed his eyes at her, trying to be annoyed, but he couldn't help but let a smile pull at his mouth. He settled into his chair, taking a sip of coffee.

"So what have you found out so far?" he asked, cradling the paper cup between his clasped hands.

"Nothing yet. I was just making a list of what has to happen today," Kate told him, hardly looking up from her folder.

"When are we going to Faolan's house?"

"We'll leave when the boys get here. I want to check in with them before I leave them for the whole morning."

Castle pulled out his phone, sensing that she didn't want to talk anymore. Kate was still surprised at how well Castle understood her, even though they spent more time together than a married couple. She didn't really feel like talking to him anymore that morning. She was still annoyed at Lanie for telling him to come in early. Usually, she took the time before anyone else in her team came to the precinct to mentally prepare herself for the challenges she would be faced with. Each day was a mental and physical struggle for her, and no matter how many years she had on the force, she still felt each emotion deep within her and it took a toll. Kate had just learned how to compartmentalize automatically – it was better if her coworkers didn't know how much each take down, gun battle, or interrogation took out of her.

Castle was playing _Angry Birds_, but he snuck peeks at his partner between each level he cleared. Through the years, he had noticed how she was under the impression that no one realized how much every aspect of being a cop found a way to nestle deep beneath the hard exterior she had built up. It struck him how she _didn't _realize that he could see through the hard mask that was Detective Beckett. When he looked at her, he only saw Kate – the woman who nearly died in his arms, the woman who wrapped his hand after he beat up Lockwood, the woman who thought she had failed her mother, the woman who tried so hard to not let her past catch up to her, but sometimes lost control. Castle was in awe of the woman sitting at the desk next to him. When he watched her, his heart filled with love; he wished she would open herself to see what was in front of her. She was a detective – she'd figure it out eventually.

"Morning, Boss. You're here early," said Esposito, walking briskly into the bull pen. Castle was jerked from his thoughts. He looked at the clock on his phone and realized that a lot more time had passes than he thought.

"I'm always here before you, Esposito," Kate replied, not looking up from her paperwork.

"Now that's just not true."

Kate raised her eyebrow at him, looking up for the first time. "I need you to run background on Henry Garfield. Phones, financials, everything. I still think he knows more than he's saying. Castle and I are going to the husband's house, so give me a call if something pops."

"Morning, guys," Ryan said cheerily, striding over to his partner. "What did I miss?"

"Fill him in, Esposito. We're going to stop in with Perlmutter when we get back. See you later," she said, grabbing her car keys and her leather folder. She turned to Castle, "Come on, let's go."

* * *

><p>Kate pulled her unmarked into a tight parking spot on W 100th and Riverside. She and Castle stepped into the building and were greeted by a cheerful doorman. She flashed her badge at him and he tipped his hat to her. She walked into the lobby and took a moment to survey her surroundings. She saw a couple of old ladies in hats talking loudly in one corner and a mother with a carriage and a toddler in another.<p>

"Is it just me, or does it smell like old people in here?" Castle whispered in her ear as they turned to the left to take the elevators up to the 12th floor. Kate rolled her eyes and pushed the button to call the lift.

"I'm serious," Castle continued. "This building smells like musk and old people." He wrinkled his nose as they stepped into the small elevator, as if to accentuate his point.

"Castle, focus. We're going to talk to a man who just lost his wife. Have a little respect."

The doors opened and they didn't have to go far to find apartment 12A; it was the first door to the right as they exited. Kate rang the doorbell and heard a deep buzzing through the door.

"'Old yer 'orses, I'm comin'," called a gruff voice from inside. The black door opened and Faolan O'Leary's beard was the first thing the pair saw. "Oh, Detective Beckett, please come in." He opened the door wide and let them into his apartment. From standing in the front hall, Kate could tell that it was a huge apartment as far as Manhattan goes. She could see at least five rooms, and she was sure that there would be more. The whole pace was decorated modernly, and it had an air of coolness that reminded Kate of a hospital or institution.

Faolan led them into the living room and asked if they wanted anything to drink.

"No thank you," Kate said, taking a seat on the couch. "Mr. O'Leary, I'm sure this is going to be hard for you, but we need to ask you a couple questions about your wife."

Faolan nodded mutely. His twinkling eyes lost their spark; Castle supposed that part of him wished that they had just come as a social visit.

"Do you know anyone who might have wanted to hurt your wife?" Kate asked, propping her pen against a clean sheet of paper.

"Becky? No, I don't know anyone who's want to 'urt 'er. She was a lovely lass and a wonderful friend."

"Had she been acting differently recently?" asked Castle.

"Wot do ye mean?"

"Was she nervous, withdrawn, jumpy, or anything like that?"

"No, she actually seemed 'appier dan usual."

"What did she do for a living?" Kate asked, making a note on her sheet.

"She was an accountant. She worked at a firm in Midtown."

"Which one?"

"Connelly, Marcus, and O'Leary."

"Was she a partner?"

"Aye. She was one of the founders," he said with a hint of pride.

Kate nodded and made a note on her pad. "Do you know why she would be on 93rd?"

"She's got a friend dere."

"Do you know the friend's name?" asked Castle.

"Aye. Sammie Fischer."

"I'm sorry to ask you this, Mr. O'Leary, but where were you yesterday afternoon?"

"Why do you want to know?"

"Because I need to know you have an alibi for her murder."

"Wot? You tink I 'ad anyting to do wid her murder? Are you nuts?" cried Faolan, rising from his seat.

"Mr. O'Leary, sit down," Kate said gently, but firmly. "I don't think you killed your wife, but I have to be sure. Where were you yesterday afternoon?"

"I was at de bar. De Irish Pub on 7th avenue. De bar tender, Coonan Sullivan is an old friend o' mine. 'e sat wid me while I drank most of de afternoon."

Castle felt Kate stiffen at the name 'Coonan,' but he knew rationally that there couldn't be any connection.

"Thank you, Mr. O'Leary," Kate said, standing and reaching her hand out to shake the broken man's. "Again, I'm very sorry for your loss. We're going to do everything in our power to find the man who did this."

"I know ye will, Detective. I'll give ye a ring if I tink of anyting."

Kate nodded and left the apartment with Castle in tow. They rode down the elevator in silence, but Kate did notice the distinct old lady smell that was swirling in the lift.

"So where are we going now?" asked Castle as they emerged onto the street.

"We're going to go to her friend's house. That's probably the last place she was seen alive."

Castle said nothing, but got into the car and pulled on his seatbelt. Waited for Kate to start the car, but turned his head when he realized she hadn't put the key in the ignition.

"Everything okay?" he asked, concerned.

"I-I just hate telling someone that their friend died and that they might have been the last person to see their friend alive, you know?"

"No, but I can imagine," Castle said. There was no way for him to try to understand the emotional toll being a cop took, because he wasn't a real cop. He didn't have to play the bad guy in ever scenario – he was used to being the puppet master.

Kate shook herself. She had to pull it together. It was only eleven thirty and she was already falling apart. Something about this case with Rebecca O'Leary made her feel tired just thinking about it. There was a nagging feeling in her gut that was telling her that the O'Leary case and the Killingsworth case were linked, but she had no idea how.

Kate put the key in the ignition and shifted the car into drive. Castle, thankfully, remained quiet for the duration of the ride, allowing Kate to collect her thoughts. She felt something weird in her stomach when Castle had given her an honest answer to her rhetorical question. He always knew exactly what to say when. He didn't try to empathize with the turmoil she faced every day, and for that she was grateful. She didn't need another person telling her that they knew what she was going through, or that they felt her pain – no one could know how she felt every time she talked to a family member or crossed the yellow tape at a crime scene. Somehow, though, Castle understood her frustration with platitudes, and never tried to tell her that he knew what she was feeling. He seemed to have this intuition that made their partnership even more intimate.

"Kate," Castle began. Kate was struck by his use of her first name. In this case, she was glad he wasn't be formal – she really just needed a friend at this point. "Are you going to be okay?"

"Yeah, thanks Castle," she answered, giving him a wan smile.

* * *

><p>"Hey Esposito, check this out," Ryan said, swiveling his chair to face his partner. "I was looking Garfield's phone records, and it looks like he called the same number five times in one week, each call lasting under two minutes."<p>

"Who does it belong to?"

"It's a burner phone who's number is no longer in service."

"Did you get a carrier or anything?"

"I'm working on it. How are you doing with the background? Anything interesting?"

"Not yet. This guy was as bland as dry bread sticks. There's nothing outstanding in his history."

"How are we doing?" asked the Captain, coming out of his office.

"Beckett and Castle went to go talk to the husband and follow anything he told them," Esposito said.

"And we're running the coworker, and looking over phones and financials of the new vic."

"Anything pop?" asked Montgomery.

"Not yet, Sir," said Esposito.

"Well keep working at it. The fast you solve one, the sooner you'll only have one case to deal with."

"Yes, Sir," Ryan said, turning back to his computer to run the number.

Montgomery went back to his office, proud of his best homicide team. There were many things that made them superior to the others at the 12th and in the city, but the thing that stood out most to him was how in sync they were. Everything one set of partners did was in perfect correlation to what the other set was doing across the city. He hoped they would stay together for a very long time, even though Castle wasn't an official member, he was as much a part of the team as anyone.

* * *

><p>Kate rang the doorbell that read 'Fischer.'<p>

"Who is it?" a female voice called through the scratchy intercom.

"Detective Kate Beckett, NYPD. I have some questions about Rebecca O'Leary," Kate answered.

The door buzzed and clicked, and Kate pushed it open. She held it for Castle who was, as always, at her heels. They took the elevator up to the second floor and saw a door open at the end of the hall. Kate discreetly moved her hand under her coat so she could easily grab her gun if need be. A shadow fell over the threshold, and Kate grasped the handle of her Glock.

A petite woman, no more than 5'2" stepped out looking scared. She had wavy red hair and blue eyes. Kate let go over her gun and pulled out her badge. She flashed it at the small woman saying, "Ms. Fischer? I'm Detective Kate Beckett, and this is Rick Castle. We're here to ask you a couple questions concerning Rebecca O'Leary."

The woman nodded and led them into her home. It was the opposite of Faolan O'Leary's apartment in every possible way. It was warm, cluttered, and had rich colors on the wall. It smelled of freshly baked cookies and the TV was playing reruns of _Friends_.

"I heard that Becky had been killed," Sammie Fischer said as she reached for the remote to turn off the television.

"You saw her that afternoon, didn't you?" asked Kate, taking a gentle approach. Sammie was clearly very shaken.

"Yeah. Sometime she'd drop by after work to have a cookie and watch some television with me. We were roommates in college and when she got married, she offered me to live with her and Faolan, but I thought that would be weird, so I got this place."

"Did you notice anything different about her lately?" asked Castle.

"No, she seemed happier than she had in a long time. She was smiling more. From what I could tell, she had done something really big at her office. I don't really understand the details, but I guess it was really great."

"What's the address of her office?"

"It's in the Trump Building on 56th and 5th."

Kate made a note in her folder and turned back to Sammie. "Did she have any enemies, or anyone who would want her dead?"

"God no, Becky was the kindest person I've ever met. Even if she was running late to an appointment, she would still help an old woman carry her groceries to the taxi stand and wait until the woman was driving off safely. She cared more about others than herself."

"What time did she leave you yesterday?"

"Umm…when she'd come over, she'd come after work. Usually, she'd get here around five forty five-ish. But yesterday she came earlier – she said that it was a slow day so she took off early. She was here by four. We ate an early dinner and watched a five o'clock showing of _How I Met Your Mother_. She left right after that."

"Okay, great, thank you so much, Ms. Fischer."

"Anything I can do," the red head said, sounding sincere.

Kate stood up and made to leave, but Sammie stopped her. "Wait, Detective, do you want some cookies? I was making them before you got here."

"Oh, no thank y—"

"I insist. They're oatmeal," Sammie interrupted, rushing to the kitchen to pack a Ziploc bag full of steaming cookies. "A token of gratitude for helping my friend."

Kate was touched by the sentiment and took the bag with a smile.

"I'm sorry for your loss, Ms. Fischer. If you can think of anything, please don't hesitate to call."

"I will," Sammie promised, shutting the door behind the pair.

"I like her," said Castle as they made their way back to the elevator. Kate rolled her eyes, but couldn't find herself to be annoyed – especially not when the heavenly aroma of the oatmeal cookies was seeping out of the bag.

"Can we grab some lunch, please?" asked Castle when they made it to the car.

"You hungry?" Kate asked, half teasing, half serious.

"Beckett, we've been on the move since this morning and I know I haven't had more than a couple cups of coffee. I can't imagine you've had even that. We need food."

"Where do you want to go, Castle?"

"Hung's Chinese Sea."

"That's all the way across town."

"So? It's the best Chinese food, and I know that's your favorite. Common, Beckett, you know you want to."

Kate rolled her eyes, intending to retort, but her stomach had other ideas. At that moment, It decided to let out a mighty growl, as if in agreement with the idea of going to Hung's.

"See, you _do _want to."

"Fine, but it can't be long."

Castle opened his mouth to make an inappropriate comment, but Kate cut him off. "Castle. Don't."

She pulled the car out of the space and began the long drive across town.

* * *

><p>"Yo, I was reading about Garfield's construction history and check this out," Esposito said, throwing a pencil at Ryan to get his attention.<p>

"What is it?" Ryan asked, turning to his partner, rubbing his temple where the pencil had hit him.

"Five years ago, both Garfield and Killingsworth were working on a project downtown and they were on scaffolding and all of a sudden, this other worker, George Tye, fell off and died."

"What?"

"I know, crazy, right?"

"Yeah. What else do you have on this Tye guy?"

Esposito typed some information into his computer and a window with a DMV picture along with information popped up.

"He had slight vertigo, but it was under control, so they let him up the scaffolding. He was on a secure harness though. He fell off from six stories and hit the pavement head first. He died instantly. Garfield and Killingsworth were on the same level of scaffolding as Tye when he fell."

"Ooh, that sucks," Ryan said, reading the report. "You think it's important?"

"Probably. Let's call Beckett and let her know."

Ryan pulled out his phone and hit speed dial 5.

"Beckett," Kate answered, hastily swallowing her bite of Moo Shoo Pork. Castle leaned over and put his head next to hers to listen to what Ryan would say.

"We found something on Garfield."

"Great. We'll be right there." She hung up the phone and wiped her mouth on her napkin. "Okay Castle, change of plans. Let's get back to the precinct and see what the boys found, and then we'll visit the office later today."

Castle got up and dropped a twenty on the counter and led Kate out.

They reached the precinct and Castle was practically bursting with anticipation about what the boys would tell them.

The doors opened and Castle nearly went running headlong to Ryan's desk. Kate was following not far behind.

"You better tell us fast, or else he's going to explode with anticipation," she said, reaching the desk.

"Well," Ryan began. "We were running background, and apparently Garfield witnessed a death of another coworker. He was a prime suspect."

**Yay...time for me to ramble more!**

**1. Sorry if my Irish accent isn't written right - when I tried to imagine it, it just kept sounding like a pirate...but you're smart. I'm sure you can figure it out.**

**2. Ha Ha! Kate is _not _happy with Josh. We all knew it must happen eventually! I hope you liked how mad she got and all the indications that her feelings are changing. Also, the conversation with Lanie - I hope it was in character.**

**3. I made up the ritual with the to-do list, but I think it would be something that Beckett would do (slash, it helped me remember what I had to get done in the chapter ; ) Writing procedurals is hard...**

**4. So my grandma used to live in the apartment at 100th and Riverside that I described, so that's why it was so detailed. And yes, the building _did_ smell like old people.**

**5. Just in general - I hope that you think all of Beckett's inner musings were in character. There's obviously more to her than Detective Beckett, and I just wanted to explore some things that could be 100% plausible, but we don't see much on the show because we can't hear their thoughts (usually. Unless you're Stana's eyes...then maybe...)**

**6. Oooh cliffhanger! Haha, you'll probably have to wait until Monday for the next update, though. **

**Hope you liked it. Please leave me a review and let me know what you thought. Hope the case isn't getting too boring, because we have a lot to go on it : ). Thank you for reading and reviewing - it really makes my day to know that people are enjoying the story. Best, Mangotango101**


	13. Chapter 13

**Hey guys! I had to write this because I watched the Finale on TV and was like OH MY GOD! I had seen it before, but it never ceases to take my breath away. Anyhoo...I'm going back to school tomorrow (today?) and so updates will be slower, but they will not stop. I love this story too much to give up on it, but I might not be able to post more than once every week or two weeks. Sometimes longer, depending on the timing. I'll definitely have another up before the premiere in 13 days!**

**The end it lighthearted, because a reviewer (rsg0569) suggested that after all the procedural stuff, they need a night off. I hope I kept them in character and you like it. There's a lot more of Beckett's thoughts in this one, so whoopie. I'm gonna let you read now, and catch you on the flip side ; )**

**Disclaimer: All publicly recognized things do not belong to me. The TV shows all belong to _Castle _or ABC studios. I do not take credit for any of it, so please don't sue me. Copyright infringement is not intended.**

**Chapter 13**

"He was a what?" asked Castle, dumbstruck.

"He was a prime suspect. Apparently, the man fell off the scaffolding, and they found that his harness hadn't been connected right, and since it was only Killingsworth and Garfield up there, the foreman and the cops must have thought it was him."

"Why didn't that come up when you looked him up through the database during the background?" Kate asked, confused.

"It's weird, I know. We think that the official report was never computerized. We just looked briefly at all the jobs that the two had done together and the death of Tye lit up."

Kate nodded and contemplating the new information. "Come on, Castle. Let's go talk to the foreman and see what he has to say. Then we'll check in on Perlmutter. Ryan, can you dig up anything you can find on that case? Talk to the uniforms, workers, anything. I want to know more about why it was never documented, and exactly what happened."

Ryan nodded and turned back to his computer. Esposito started clicking around his own desktop, presumably searching for more information on the Tye's death.

Kate and Castle made their way back to her car and slid in.

"Why do you think it wasn't documented?" asked Castle, fastening his seatbelt.

"I don't know. It sounds like foul play, but we'll have to wait to see what the boys dig up. Let's also see what the foreman has to say for himself."

Kate shifted the car into 'reverse' and pulled out of the lot. They drove for a good half hour in the standard New York traffic. Kate pulled her unmarked into a parking spot indicated for visitors. She propped up her NYPD sign on the dash, in case anyone was wondering.

Castle cringed inwardly as they entered the worksite. There were men in fluorescent orange and yellow vests everywhere and there were jackhammers and bulldozers at full volume. Castle couldn't hear himself think, and it was making his head hurt. He saw Kate mouthing something at him, but he couldn't hear a word. She noticed that he couldn't understand her, so she simply beckoned towards the temporary looking building near the site.

"I'm Detective Kate Beckett, NYPD, and this is Rick Castle," she yelled above the noise, flashing her badge. The gruff looking man opened the door wider for them, and they found themselves in a brightly lit, cramped room that was filled with files and stray papers. She saw a large calendar on the wall, marking what had to get done by when.

The gruff man closed the door and surprisingly, the din from the worksite lowered what felt like ten decibel levels. Kate no longer had to raise her voice to be heard.

The man shoved a neat pile of papers into Kate's hands and began talking, with a heavy New York accent, and without preamble. "Detective, here's our paperwork, including the form from the city authorizing this site. We aren't doing anything illegal. We—"

Kate cut the man off, handing him the papers back. "We're not from the DDC. I'm a homicide detective and we have a few questions about Mortimer Killingsworth and Henry Garfield."

"What about them?"

"Are you the foreman?" Kate answered with a question.

"Yeah. The name's Chester Martin."

"Okay Mr. Martin, what can you tell me about Mortimer Killingsworth?"

"He was a nice guy. He was one of the hardest workers I ever had. He got along good with everyone, even though he had that nasty allergy. It was his goal to make this city a better place to live."

"Did he have any close friends?"

"He and Henry were really close. All the other guys were more like acquaintances, you know? They all knew the protocol in case something were to happen to him, so he had to trust everyone of them with his life."

"Do you know of anyone that he had a conflict or disagreement with?"

"Not that I can think of. You've got to understand, Morty's life was in each of my men's hands. He had no other choice than to trust the guys. He didn't want to piss any of them off, because then maybe they wouldn't help him if he needed it," Martin trailed off, as if to gauge whether Kate was catching his drift. Then Kate saw what she wished she could see in each of her person's of interest – that spark in their eye when they remember something important. "Now that you mention it, I remember seeing him arguing with another guy about a week ago."

"Do you know who?"

"Yeah, it was Garfield."

"If they were so close, why were they arguing?"

"I don't know. You could hear everything outside – I couldn't hear a word they were saying, but Morty looks mad, I can tell you that."

Kate made a note on her pad and looked back at Chester. "Mr. Martin, what can you tell me about the George Tye incident five years ago?"

The foreman looks down and shook his head, as if the memory was too painful to remember. "That was a sad day for the site. We knew he had vertigo, but he needed the money, you know? And it didn't kick in all that often, so we'd just make sure to have him safely attached to a harness. I was in my office, working on some files, when I heard muffled screaming from outside. I run to a crowd of men and see Georgie lying on the ground broken. It's clear that he's dead, so I called the police. I looked up and saw Morty and Garfield looking pale as death."

Kate nodded. "Thank you, Mr. Martin. Do you think we could talk to Mr. Garfield again?"

"Of course, I'll go get him and then give you some privacy. I have to make my rounds in any event."

Chester Martin left the small room and Kate turned to Castle. "Are you getting a bad feeling about Garfield?" she asked.

"You've got to be kidding me, Beckett. The guy is creepier than Natalie Rhodes. Do you really think he was involved in the death of Tye?" asked Castle.

Before Kate could answer, Garfield entered the small office. They could see the hallmarks of a hard day at work – his hair was plastered to his head with sweat, and there were wet patches on his back and under his armpits.

"Hello Detective, Castle, what can I do for you?" he asked.

"Please, take a seat," said Kate, motioning towards a spinney chair near the overflowing desk. Her voice was cool, but Garfield either didn't notice, or chose not to acknowledge it. "We did some checking, Mr. Garfield."

Henry began to fidget slightly. It wasn't enough to be considered noteworthy, but Kate noticed it and decided to play on his insecurities.

"We know about George Tye."

"Yeah, what about him?" asked Garfield, falling into a typical response – defense.

"We know he died. We know that his harness wasn't secure. And we also know that you and Mr. Killingsworth were the only two on the scaffold with him. That makes you look pretty guilty, doesn't it? Both men with you are now dead…" she trailed off, letting her point speak for itself.

"I know what the cops thought. But let me tell you something, Detective. We're like a family here at work, and I wouldn't do anything to harm my friends. George and I knew each other for years, ever since we were in grade school. I was devastated when he died…I took a leave of absence for a month. I could hardly bear to lift a hammer after he died. Do you know what it's like to come to a job and be reminded of a close friend everywhere you look, no matter how hard you try?"

Kate knew better than to let her emotions show. She knew that Garfield had hit home with that rhetorical question, but she wasn't going to let him know that. He didn't need to know that every time she saw a dead body, it was like she was 19 again and facing her mother's vacant eyes. He didn't need to know that she still had nightmares about a future family coming home to find that she had been stabbed in the kitchen.

As much as she tried to hide it, she clearly paused for a moment too long, because before she could say another word, he stood up from the chair and looked her straight in the eyes.

"I thought so," he said softly, but firmly. Kate could smell his breath – stale beer and sweat. "Good day."

He walked out the door and pulled it shut behind him. Kate crumpled to the desk, leaning against it and placing her hands on her face. She had totally forgotten Castle was there, and she wouldn't have remembered if he hadn't gently put a hand to her shoulder.

Rick knew better than to push Kate. If she didn't want to talk, that was her choice, but it wouldn't be right if he didn't at least ask if she was okay.

"You okay?"

"Yeah," replied Kate, looking up at him. Rick could tell she was lying through her teeth – it was written in her eyes. He saw the pain and the conflict reflected in the sea of green. He saw every moment she had been sucker punched at a crime scene or during an interrogation. For a split second, he felt as though Kate's entire soul was plainly written in her eyes.

Before he could read more into it, the windows shut and she snapped back to Detective Beckett mode.

"Okay, I'm going to call Ryan and Esposito, and have them run a more thorough background on Garfield. Let's go see Perlmutter and see if he has anything on Becky O'Leary."

She stood from the desk and opened the door to the office. Her ear drums were assaulted with the racquet of the worksite and she walked briskly towards her car. Kate slammed the door more forcefully than probably necessary, but she had to get some pent up emotions out somehow.

Kate kept her eyes on the road, dealing with the emotional turmoil inside of her with her usual stoic manner. She could sense that Castle was watching her, but she made no indication that she noticed or cared. Thankfully, he stayed silent for the car ride, waiting for her to open up to him. That wasn't something that would happen at work. No, not when she had a million other things on her mind that required her full attention and care.

* * *

><p>"So you have nothing for us?" asked Kate once more. They had gotten to the morgue and stalked into the autopsy room. She had remained silent for the rest of the trip and refused to so much as look at Castle. He couldn't deny that it was bothering him that she wouldn't even acknowledge his presence, but he knew that she had to do things her own way.<p>

"You can ask as many times as you want, but the answer isn't going to change," replied the cranky ME.

Kate rolled her eyes and stepped away from the cold, metal table. She ran a hand through her hair, wishing that they had more to go on. As if her prayers were answered, her phone rang.

"Beckett," she answered. It was Esposito.

"We looked into your boy George Tye. Apparently, he liked to make bets."

"You mean like poker?"

"No, like 'I bet ten dollars that you can do x-y-and-z.' We located his next of kin who was able to provide us with his credit card number. We ran it and found that he took out a nine thousand dollar withdrawal the day of his death."

"Great, not enough for the IRS to get involved. Any idea where it went?"

"No, we're still running it."

"Do you think we have probable cause to request of the family that we exhume his body?"

"Why?"

"I want to take another look at it. The cover up for his death seems pretty extensive, and if there's foul play involved, I think Lanie should take another look at the body."

"I'll check with the wife. Hopefully, we'll have the paperwork by tomorrow."

"Great thanks, Esposito. Keep me posted." She hung up the phone and turned back to Perlmutter, who was standing looking impatient.

"Do you have a time of death for me?"

"Yeah, I'd say somewhere between five and seven."

Kate nodded. "Great. Come on, Castle," she said, heading towards the swinging doors.

When they were out on the hallway making their way to the elevators, Castle said the first thing to her since her breakdown at the construction site.

"You want to exhume the body?"

"Yeah. Someone really wanted to cover up his death, and I'm hoping that we can find something in his body."

"Did anyone do an autopsy when he died?"

Kate nodded. "But they didn't find anything. Tox screen showed that he had his prescription medication, but that's it. No bruising or ligature marks."

"Do you think it was Garfield?"

"He's a plausible suspect, and I still think he knows more than he says. After what he pulled today at the worksite, I'm inclined to say no."

They reached the bull pen and Kate uncapped a black dry-erase marker. She began to make more notes under the picture of Henry Garfield, as well as mark the kill zone for Rebecca O'Leary.

"We're going to have to recheck her friend's alibi. O'Leary was with her until five-thirty, but I just want to double check that the friend was in the apartment and didn't leave until after eight," she said, taking a step back.

"It's been a long day. Do you want to get the boys and Lanie and we can watch a movie and have some pizza at my house?"

"Castle, I have too much work—" she began.

"I think that's a great idea," said Montgomery, appearing behind her.

"Wha—?" she tried again.

"Beckett, this case has been turning heads for all of us. I think you need a break. Take the rest of the night off and come back with fresh eyes tomorrow. The forms for the exhumation won't be in until tomorrow afternoon at the earliest. Ryan and Esposito are running down the background on the coworker, but they can do that tomorrow morning as well."

"What can we do tomorrow?" asked Esposito, coming over to see what the hub was about.

"I was just saying how we should all come to my house and have some fun after the long case we had."

"Can we play _Madden_?"

Castle gave Esposito a 'duh' look, and Ryan broke out into a smile. "I'm so in, dude. If I look at any more phone numbers, credit card numbers, or financial reports, I think my eyes might just fall out."

"But Sir, all my paperwork," Kate protested valiantly. Somewhere deep inside of her, she knew that she had been defeated, but she wasn't going to give up that easily.

"Beckett, you need a break. Go have fun tonight. That's an order. I'll see you here tomorrow morning. Now shoo," he said, waving his arms. The boys ran to gather their belongings, but Kate took longer. She wanted to sit at her desk and mentally debrief herself before totally switching modes.

"Go ahead," she said, waving to the boys who were standing by her desk, waiting for her to get ready. "I'll be there soon."

"C'mon, Beckett, you heard the Captain," said Ryan.

Kate just glared at him. "I'll leave in twenty minutes. Go," she said, making it clear that it wasn't up to debate.

The boys glanced at each other, not sure what to do, but eventually broke and retreated towards the elevators. Just as the doors closed, Kate lowered her head to her hands, taking a deep breath. She was about to compartmentalize for the day when her phone chimed, indicated she had a new text message.

_You free tonight? Sorry about last night. xo—Josh_

She opened the keyboard and typed out a reply.

_Sorry, tied up with work. –Kate_

She didn't bother adding when they might be able to get together, because she didn't want to think about seeing him. He had scared the living day lights out of her and was the cause for two gun un-holsterings. He had caused her more grief than a boyfriend ever should. After everything she had told him about her past, he still had the audacity to say that he wasn't going to come to the Gala. Kate should have dumped him right then and there, she knew deep in her heart that that was where the relationship was going anyway. Why hadn't she? Why hadn't she kicked him to the curb the moment he had refused to come, even after she told him the story of her mother's murder? She didn't have a logical reason. She wished she did, she really did, but her reason was something unexplainable. It was as if she was just trying to make herself believe that there was something there, even if there wasn't. Maybe it was all in her head. Maybe Kate wished so much that she and Josh could make it work, just so she wouldn't have to face the idea that she might have feelings for Castle.

No, that certainly didn't make sense. Kate wasn't one to hide from anything…except emotions. She just buried them deeper. She could almost hear Castle's voice in her head, saying _you're hiding in these nowhere relationships with men you don't love. You could be happy, Kate. You deserve to be happy. But you're afraid_. What was it with him, that even in her head, she could hear him giving her advice. Clearly that wasn't normal, and clearly it was telling her something about her current relationship status.

As Kate sat, thinking about pent up emotions, she couldn't help but let herself think about the conversation she had with Henry Garfield earlier in the day. She hoped that he wasn't the one who did it – he was so torn up over his friend's death. Somehow, though, it gave her a nagging feeling that there was more than she was seeing. Perhaps it was _how_ close he had gotten to the truth, and just _how_ close he had hit. She was reminded of the first time she had worked with Castle and he profiled her and got it so spot on that she had nothing to do but to raise the defenses, mostly for her, not for him. And there he was again. Nothing she did or thought about could get him out of her head. He was everywhere – in every conversation, in ever memory. Everything reminded her of something he did or something he said.

Kate began to breathe deeply, trying to get the constricting feeling out of her lungs. She felt as if someone had tied a lead band all across her ribcage and she couldn't take a full breath. The idea that Castle was in every thought and every action scared her. It scared her more than she could say. But it also annoyed her. How had she let him get so close to her? How had it happened? She was usually so careful about whom she let in, but Castle had no regards for her attempts to push him away. He just kept weaseling his way back in again. Part of her wished that she had the courage to face Josh and her feelings and dive in with Castle, just as she had told him in the HAZMAT tent, but part of her wished that she had the courage to push him away and force him out of her life for good.

She didn't know which side would win out, she really didn't. Deep down, she knew she could never cold turkey Castle – it would hurt her more than she cared to admit.

She was drawn once again from her musing by a chime on her phone. This time the message was from Castle.

_I know you're still there. Lanie's on her way to collect you. I have pizza… —RC _

Kate couldn't help but smile. She was amazed all over again by his acute ability to say just the right thing at the right time. Before she could reply, the elevator doors _ping_ed, and the sassy ME sauntered out of it.

"You look like you have the weight of the world on your shoulders. You wanna talk about it?" asked Lanie, coming over to the desk and sitting in Castle's usual chair. Kate looked up from the spot she had been staring at for the past twenty minutes and smiled at her friend.

"No," she said shortly.

"I told you this before, but you better not bottle all this up, or you're gonna get an ulcer."

"I'll take my chances," she said, packing up her files and shutting down her computer. Lanie shook her head in disapproval while Kate stood up and pushed her chair in.

The two women made their way to the elevators, and unbeknownst to Kate, Captain Montgomery sent a short message to Castle after watching through the blinds of his office.

_They're on their way. –M_

* * *

><p>"We're here!" called Lanie, opening the door to the loft. Kate saw the rest of the gang with four open pizza boxes and a loud game with lots of explosions and guns on the large television.<p>

"It's about time," said Castle, hardly looking up from the screen.

"Boys," muttered Lanie, dumping her coat and purse on the large pile on an arm chair. Kate followed suit, also laying her jacket and bag on the chair.

The TV made a scary jingle type noise and the boys put down their controllers. "What kind of pizza do you want? We have plain, pepperoni, eggplant, and sausage and basil," asked Castle, getting up to grab two more plates from the kitchen.

"I'll have some pepperoni," said Kate, watching as Castle deftly took a slice from one of the boxes. She was impressed by the fact that he could get the piece out without letting any cheese fall.

"Lanie?" he asked, nodding in her direction.

"Plain for me, please."

Castle repeated the motion, filling Lanie's plate and taking two beers from the fridge. He came back to the living room, balancing the two plates in one hand and the two beers in the other.

"Quit showing off, Castle," said Kate, taking her portion. She could already feel the tension ebbing from her body. She was glad she agreed to come.

Kate couldn't help but watch Rick in whatever he did. She noticed how his shirt pulled when he sat down and how his eyes lit up when he caught her staring.

"Now who's staring, huh Detective," he whispered playfully in her ear.

She bit back a laugh and rolled her eyes. "You wish, Castle," she teased back deliberately leaning away from him.

The exchange wasn't lost to the other people in the room who watched the antics between the two like people seeing sunshine for the first time in years. They couldn't help but be happy for their friends – it was the most carefree they had seen Kate in a long time, even though she was still carefully guarded.

"So what do people want to do?" he asked, tearing his gaze away from Kate.

"I don't know, Castle, you're the one who dragged us away from our _jobs_," Kate replied, tryin to sound annoyed, but failing.

"Mere details, Detective. Ooh, I have this great game Alexis got me for my birthday. It's called A Box Full of Questions."

"Sounds boring, bro," Esposito said, no so subtly nudging the controller for his video game. Lanie swatted him in the chest.

"No it's actually really fun. There are all these questions, and everyone writes their answer on a piece of paper and the others have to guess who wrote what."

"That sounds like fun," said Lanie, smiling.

"Great, I'll go get it."

Castle got up from the couch and disappeared into his office. Kate, not being able to help herself, watched his retreating form. Sometimes she really hated that her job made her more observant than everyone else.

"I think I need another beer. Kate, will you come with me?" asked Lanie, pulling Kate up, not leaving the latter with much of an option to say no.

Lanie practically dragged her into the kitchen and stopped short, pulling Kate to face her.

"Okay girl, spill it. What's going on with you and writer boy?"

"Nothing's going on, Lanie," Kate insisted.

"Girl, Imma smack you. There's more energy crackling between you than a lightning storm in Nebraska. So tell me, what are you staring at him every time I look at you?"

"I'm not," Kate said, trying desperately to get Lanie off her back. She didn't want to share what she was thinking before she left the precinct. That was her for her and her 'Castle' box in her neatly compartmentalized mind.

"Mm hmm. Girl, for a person whose job it is to watch people lie, you sure are bad at it."

"Lanie, I have a great poker face."

"Don't change the subject. You and Writer Boy. There's clearly more there than you're telling me."

Kate took a deep breath and Lanie saw that as her moment to pounce.

"Well…?"

"Things have been rocky with Josh and me ever since we stopped the dirty bomb. He's had his sweet moments, but I find myself wishing that there was more there. He's always leaving at the worst times possible."

"What do you mean, sweetie?"

"Well, he and I had a fight about the Scholarship dinner, and how he didn't think that he could come—"

"What a—" Lanie began. She was so furious, she didn't even have words to express herself.

"He asked me why it was so important, and I told him about my mother."

"Oh poor baby. How'd he take it?" Lanie asked, reaching out to pat Kate's arm reassuringly.

"He still said he wouldn't come."

"What?" Lanie cried so loudly that Ryan and Esposito turned around to look at them. Lanie lowered her voice to a near whisper. "I can't believe he did that. Sweetie, you deserve so much more. Can I kill him, please?"

Kate laughed hollowly. "No, you cannot."

"Why didn't you dump his sorry ass right there?"

"Because…" Kate began. She knew she couldn't explain it to Lanie – it wouldn't make any sense. Hell, it hardly made sense to her.

"Girl, you have to end it. That's no way to treat someone as amazing as you."

Kate was about to respond when Castle came sweeping out of his office with a black box. "I've got the game! Let's play."

Kate again shut down and grabbed fresh beers from the fridge. She brought them to the group on the sofas and took a seat next to Rick; it was the only available seat. Somehow, she could guess that that wasn't a coincidence.

"Can I go first?" asked Ryan.

"Of course," Castle said, handing each person a pen and paper.

"Ready?" Ryan asked. They all nodded. "What is your favorite TV show?"

Everyone took a moment to think before they each scribbled a word of their slips and handed them to Castle. He opened each one dramatically and read what was written. "_Temptation Lane, All My Children, Body of Proof, Combat Hospital._ Oh come on, guys, you could at least give me a tough one," Ryan cried as he read the choices.

"Beckett likes _Temptation Lane_, Castle likes _All My Children_, Lanie likes _Body of Proof_. Lanie, how can you like that show? Don't you get annoyed at how wrong it is?"

"Yeah, well that's half the fun of it. I get to solve it along with Dr. Hunt and I love looking for the flaws in procedure."

Castle nodded and continued with the last guess. "So I guess that leaves _Combat Hospital_ for Esposito."

"Okay, my turn," said Lanie, reaching for a question.

"If you could do anywhere for vacation, where would you go?"

Kate thought long and hard, and then wrote her answer. She passed it to Lanie and waited for the others to finish.

Lanie, unlike Ryan, didn't read them out loud, but only shared the answers.

"Ryan wants to go to Napa Valley, California, Castle wants to go to the Arctic…umm why?" asked Lanie.

"I like pemmican."

Kate rolled her eyes, remembering Castle's description of it during their ex-con case.

"Kate wants to go to Italy, and Esposito wants to go to Paris. Aww, that so sweet," Lanie said, leaning into her boyfriend.

Esposito smiled and whispered in her ear. "It isn't called the city of love for nothing."

Lanie giggled and returned the card with the question to the bottom of the deck.

"Here, Castle, why don't you do the next one," Lanie said, handing the cards to Castle.

He took the top card and laughed out loud when he read the question.

"What shouldn't you say to a police officer?"

Everyone began cracking up, imagining all the things Castle had said in the past nearly three years.

They all scribbled some Castle quote and handed it to him. He read them quickly, his brow furrowing after each one.

"Hey, I said all these things," he said indignantly.

"Well, duh," Ryan replied, still smiling.

"Read them, Castle," Esposito said.

"'I'd be _happy_ to let you spank me,' 'Guess who's got a date with a prostitute!' 'Do I look like a killer to you?' 'It's not what it looks like!' 'Can I have your magnifying glass?'"

They all laughed again, remembering each time Castle had used one of those quotes.

"Hey, someone wrote two!" he protested. They all just looked at him, waiting for him to guess who said what. "Fine, you all want to mock me so? I'll sue the super sleuthing skills to solve this. The spanking one and the magnifying one must have been Beckett, because she was the only one there. Esposito was with Beckett during the looking like a killer, so that would be him. Lanie wasn't with you guess when you found me the second time, so that must have been Ryan. Wait, Lanie was with you when I called that time?" asked Castle, turning to Beckett.

She was trying to conceal a smile, and nodded. "Yeah, I was complaining to her about how much I hated you."

"Well you're feelings have changed since then, haven't they, Detective?" asked Castle, wiggling his eyebrows.

Kate rolled her eyes, wishing Castle would stop profiling her so well.

They played a few more rounds of the game before Kate decided it was time to call it quits. She needed to be alone, and it was late enough as it was. She wanted to get home so she could slip into a warm bath and calm her churning thoughts.

Tomorrow was another day, and hopefully, she could crack the case open and they could solve it – the one thing she hated more than killers walking free and unsolved cases were cases that could border on unsolved if they didn't catch some good leads soon.

She vowed to herself and to the family members of the victims that this case wouldn't be put on a shelf without the right person behind bars. It was a promise to them, but more importantly, it was a promise to herself.

**Hello again. Before I ramble, I just want to ask you to please leave a review. I cherish your thoughts and I really want to make this story better, so anything you have to say, I will listen and take into account.**

**Now, onto what I have to say...which isn't a whole lot.**

**1. I hope you are still baffled by who the killer might be. I still am hoping that this reads like an episode, so please let me know if I've done that.**

**2. Pizza at Castle's house was so much fun to write. I hope you laughed at the game and the answers. Lots of references are thrown in there!**

**3. That's about it. I have a new idea for where I'm going with Josh, so yeah, get excited! Haha. **

**See you before September 19th! It's so soon! Good luck to anyone starting school this week - I hope the year is a great one. Best, mangotango101**


	14. Chapter 14

**Hello again, happy readers. It's been a week, and it's been a looooong week. School is grueling, but I will do my utmost to keep posts coming every week.**

**OH MY GOD THERE IS ONE WEEK LEFT UNTIL THE PREMIER! WHO IS EXCITED? Also, anyone see those sneak peaks? I think I flat-lined with Kate...again.**

**A note about last chapter: I'm surprised no one commented on the finale reference. I hope you didn't think it was too weird.**

**So...the crew makes some more progress on the case. It should be wrapped up in about one and a half more chapters, and then we can get into more fun stuff like Kate/Josh drama, Kate/Castle cuteness and the scholarship dinner!**

**I wrote half of this at school during my free instead of doing my homework, so you should all be happy. No, I'm just joking, you don't have to be happy because I chose to write this instead of getting work done.**

**Disclaimer: This is not mine. Castle belongs to ABC, and anything publicly recognized belongs to their respective owners. This is purely for entertainment purposes - no copyright infringement is intended.**

**Chapter 14**

The morning was slow at the precinct. No new leads came in and Kate's team was still waiting on the exhumation forms to come through. There were no suspects for Becky O'Leary's murder. No one had any motive, and there were still no witnesses. Kate could tell that Ryan and Esposito were getting frustrated with their cases. If there was one thing a detective hated other than dirt bags who walked free, it was having a case that could be proclaimed 'unsolved' if no leads turned up soon.

Kate again didn't get a good night's sleep, and it was beginning to take a toll on her. By the time ten o'clock had rolled around, she had already drunk three double shot espressos, not to mention nearly a dozen other cups of regular coffee. She was waiting patiently for Castle to come so they could go to O'Leary's firm, but she had no idea where he was. She looked at her father's watch and saw that it read that it was close to eleven o'clock.

"Hey, either of you hear from Castle?" she asked the boys across the bull pen. They shook their heads and turned back to the phone records they were scouring through. She picked up her phone and pressed speed dial 3.

"Castle," she heard over the phone, as well as right behind her.

She turned, momentarily confused as to how she was hearing a double of his voice. She saw his lower his phone and she heard a beep in her phone notifying her that he ended the call.

"I was just calling you," she said, placing her phone back on her desk.

"Yeah, sorry I'm late. Alexis wasn't feeling well this morning, so I wanted to make sure she was okay before leaving for school."

Kate was touched by the fatherly side of Castle. "You shouldn't let her go to school if she's sick."

"Trust me, I tried, but you know Alexis. Finals are just around the corner, and she refuses to miss any school," said Castle, sitting in his chair, placing a cardboard cup of coffee next to her. "I got it with extra caffeine…I thought you might need it."

She smiled, taking a sip and relishing in the jolt her body felt at the caffeine. "Thanks. You know, most Juniors would jump at the chance to miss school near the time of APs, SATs, and finals," Kate said, resting her chin on her arm.

Castle smiled. "You'd think, wouldn't you, but not Alexis. I think the only times she missed school as a kid was once when she had a one-oh-four fever and I had to bring her to the hospital, when she had the chicken pox, when she kept throwing up for an entire day, and when she got the Swine Flu last year."

"I tried to get out of school as much as I could as a teenager," said Kate.

Castle looked at her surprised that she'd want to cut school, and Kate realized what she had just said. Her eyes widened and she hastened to change the subject.

"So…" she began.

"Any new leads?" Castle asked.

"Nope, not yet. I was waiting for you to go to O'Leary's office. You ready?"

"Yeah. Let's go."

They went to her car and rode in silence. Kate was grateful for the coffee Castle had brought her; it gave her an excuse to not talk to him. The traffic was heavier than it usual, so Kate reached out to turn on the radio. Castle smiled. He loved it when she put on music, because it gave him insight into what kinds she liked. He noticed she was one of those people who switched the station whenever the commercials started, and she did her best to avoid the new popular music. Her favorite stations tended to be either the news or the Broadway Show tunes station.

Finally, they arrived at the Trump building and found parking in the lot. Kate put her NYPD sign on her dash and stepped out of the car. Castle followed suit and Kate locked the car behind them. They remained silent as they stepped into the elevator.

"I think this is the longest you've ever been quiet," observed Kate after pressing the button for the main floor."

"I got the impression that you didn't really feel like talking."

Kate smiled slightly at his thoughtfulness. Something changed in him – maybe he was finally doing what he said he would that night at the Old Haunt: being her friend and nothing more. She was grateful, but now that he was being super sweet, it made it harder for her to justify her relationship with Josh.

Rick knew that Kate needed to work through whatever was plaguing her on her own. Butting in wouldn't help anything, and he did promise her that he would just be her friend. Luckily, this case was running them wild, so he didn't have much time to be alone with her. If he were put in a situation like the one the afternoon of their almost kiss, he didn't know how much self control he'd have. His resolve was wearing thin, but he knew that he had to stay in control, at least until Kate left Josh, something he was sure would happen soon. He had been on the phone with her when she un-holstered her gun thinking she was being attacked, just to find that it was Josh. If that's not an indicator of an unhealthy relationship, Castle didn't know what was.

Before either of them knew it, the elevator doors were opening and they were admitted to a welcoming looking lobby. The walls were painted warm beige and all the furniture, though generic and clearly sold in bulk, complimented the wall and the rug better than Kate had seen in most firms. There was a friendly looking secretary sitting behind a desk reading _The Da Vinci Code_.

"Hi, can I help you?" she asked, looking up from her book and placing a well worn bookmark between the pages.

"Yes. I'm Detective Kate Beckett, NYPD, and this Rick Castle," she said, flashing her badge. "We're here about Rebecca O'Leary. Are her partners in today?"

"Oh yes, we heard about that. We've been expecting you. Please, have a seat, and I'll call them." The receptionist motioned towards the chairs, and for once, Kate didn't feel the need to demand that she barge in. The young woman had been perfectly cooperative and polite.

Despite that, Kate didn't sit. She wanted the partners, Connelly and Marcus, to know who was in charge, and if they came in while she was seated, it would be as if she gave up the control.

Castle, on the other hand, did take a seat and even pulled a copy of _TV Guide_ and began flipping through it halfheartedly.

"Beckett," he asked. "Have you ever realized how many cop shows are on TV?"

Kate rolled her eyes, but answered him none the less. "Of course. Whenever I go to turn on the television, there's another one on."

"Do you ever watch them?"

"What do you think, Castle?" she asked, rolling her eyes.

"I don't know, Detective. You did tell me that the things I don't know about you could fill a book."

Kate looked slightly scared that he still remembered, considering she had told him that close to a year ago. He saw her facial expression and decided to explain himself. "I remember everything you've ever told me."

"Castle, that's just creepy."

"It's trut," he said, imitating Hasberg, the worker from the Westlake case.

Kate rolled her eyes, and returned to pretending to read a poster for asset management.

"Well, do you?"

"No," she said, as if it were obvious.

"Why not? Some are really amusing."

"Yeah, and completely wrong. I have yet to find a procedural cop show that accurately depicts what it's like to be a cop."

"Oh, touchy, Detective."

Before Kate could respond, the frosted door opened, revealing the receptionist again.

"Sorry that took so long," she said, politely. "They were in a conference call, and I had to pull them out. Follow me, please."

Kate followed the woman through the door with Castle close on her heels. As they walked down the hall, Kate could see various offices that were filled with filing cabinets and certificates. She noticed various conference rooms of varying sizes, along with a small room with tables and some vending machines. The whole firm had a very "not-New-York" feel to it. She had been to Boston a couple times with her family when she was younger, and her mother took her to some of the meetings. This accounting office reminded her of the ones in Boston – a bit more down to earth and less pretentious. She liked the feel of the office.

"Here we are. I'm sorry again for the wait."

Kate thanked the receptionist and went into the office, followed by Castle.

"Detective," said a man in his mid-thirties. He was only a few inches taller than her, and he had thick brown hair and deep hazel eyes. "My name is Patrick Connelly, and this is my coworker, Seamus Marcus." He gestured to the man sitting at the table, cradling a warm cup of coffee.

"I'm Detective Kate Beckett, and this is Rick Castle," she said, introducing herself and her partner.

"Rick Castle the author?" asked Seamus, getting up from his seat and walking over to the writer.

"On my better days," said Castle with a press smile. Kate rolled her eyes.

"My family loves your books. We've all read every single one of them. Do you think I could get an autograph for them?"

Castle glanced at Kate, knowing how she hated the press aspect of Castle being a writer.

"Maybe after the interview," he said diplomatically. He saw Kate rolling her eyes, but he didn't care. At least she wasn't flat out mad as she would be if he had signed for the guy.

"Seam," said Patrick, refocusing the conversation. "They're here to talk about Becky. I'm sure when we're done, Mr. Castle will be pleased to sign as many autographs as you'd like."

Marcus nodded and went back to the table, the rest following.

Kate observed the exchange and immediately took note of who held the control between the two men. Connelly seemed to be the one who could keep Marcus focused, and Kate decided that would be helpful to know. She could also see the bags under Marcus' eyes, and noticed how he was gripping his coffee cup hard in order to keep his hands from shaking.

"How can we help you?" asked Patrick.

"We have to ask you a few questions," she said, taking out a pen and opening her folder.

"Of course. Becky's death is going to be a low blow for our firm. She was one of the best."

"How did you start the business?" asked Castle.

"We all meet in college. Once we declared, we had a lot of classes together, and when it came time to do our final project, we were put in a group. We found that we worked well together, and went into business."

"And how many years ago was this?" prompted Kate.

"We started up this firm about eight years ago."

"Do you know of anyone who would want to harm Mrs. O'Leary?"

"No, everyone loved her. I mean, sometimes we had to talk to her when she came late to a lot of meetings in a short amount of time, but it was always simply 'Try to come on time, Becks.' And she would always answer that she was helping someone get home safely, or she had helped someone in need. We couldn't ask her to stop being a good person, so most of the time we just let it go."

"Were there any unhappy clients?"

"I couldn't tell you. Our client information is very confidential, seeing as it's all their financial matters. We didn't cross discus them, unless they specifically asked for second or third opinions."

"I'm going to need a list of her clients, Mr. Connelly."

"I don't know if that's possible, Detective," he said regretfully. "We sold these people a code of confidence, and we can't just show all of their financials to anyone."

"Well, Mr. Connelly, luckily we aren't anyone; we're the NYPD. This is a murder investigation, and I'm going to need to see a list of those names."

"I'm sorry, but you're going to need a court order. Those files contain every detail of the client's financial situation. It's not something you can waltz in here and demand."

Kate sighed. It wasn't worth the risk of antagonizing Patrick, especially since she had more questions.

"I'm not trying to give you a hard time, Detective, I'm just trying to protect our clients."

"What about yourself? Someone shot Rebecca O'Leary, and I'm pretty sure that you've thought over the last couple of days about whether you were next, am I right, Mr. Connelly?"

He shrunk back slightly, finally understanding the magnitude of what he was tryin to stand up against.

"I—"

Kate nodded, seeing that she got the point across. As soon as they left, she'd be on the phone with Judge Markaway to get the warrant.

"Rebecca's friend said that she seemed happy, and she thought it was something at work. Do you have any idea what that might be?" asked Castle, refocusing the interview.

"Yeah, she just closed a deal that would give us the budget to reorganize the office. If you could see as you can in, we're not the most organized, and we don't have enough room for anything. A generous benefactor just donated the money we need to make sure that everything is in tip top shape for next fiscal year.

"Has she gotten any threatening phone calls or messages lately from unhappy clients?"

"Well, in this economy, Detective, very few people are happy with their financial status," Connelly said vaguely.

"Anyone in particular?" pressed Castle.

"Not that I know of."

"That's not true," Seamus said, speaking for the first time. Kate turned her attention to the other man.

"Can you tell us about it, Mr. Marcus?" asked Kate gently.

"It was about a week ago," he began, glancing at his partner, as if for permission to continue talking. Kate made a note of his how timid he seemed. "I was coming back from my coffee break, and I heard Becky yelling at someone over the phone."

"Do you have any idea who it was?"

"No, but she sounded pretty angry at him."

"Did you hear anything that they were saying?" asked Castle.

"I was trying to get away as fast as I could, because it didn't feel right to be eavesdropping, but I did hear her say 'You need to get it together, because I can't keep covering for you. People are going to start asking questions.'"

Kate made a note on her pad before turning back to Seamus. "About what time was this?"

"Probably around ten-thirty or so?" he said as a question.

"Thank you, Mr. Marcus, you've been a great help."

Seamus smiled tentatively, again glancing at Connelly, whose face was hardened, but not harsh.

Kate stood up and motioned for Castle to follow. "Thank you, and I'm very sorry for your loss," she said, pushing her chair back under the table.

"Not a problem, Detective. Anything to help catch whoever did this to Becky."

Kate and Castle made their way out the door, and just as it was closing, Castle turned back into the conference room, facing the partners. "Whoops, almost forgot to give you that autograph," he said, returning to the table.

"Thank you, Mr. Castle," Seamus said, pulling out a piece of paper and a pen. He handed them to Castle who smiled and signed his name.

"There you go. Tell your family I say hi."

Kate was waiting by the frosted door and held it open for him. As they walked back to the lobby, Castle realized that Kate was looking at him disapprovingly. "Stop looking at me like that, I was just doing a fan a favor."

"'Cause your ego needs more stroking," she muttered.

"Well you weren't doing the stoking…but maybe you'd stroke—"

Kate glared at him and stalked off quicker to the elevator, thanking the heavens that it was there when she reached it. She stepped in, disregarding the receptionist who called after her to have a good day. To her chagrin, the elevator doors weren't fast enough to close on Castle; he squeezed in just in time.

"Oh come on, Beckett, you walked into that one," he said, smiling at her through the elevator door reflection. Kate simply glared at his reflection and didn't answer.

* * *

><p>"Okay, great, thanks," Kate said, pulling her seatbelt on with one hand. "We'll be there as soon as we can."<p>

Castle looked at her questioningly. She hung up the phone looked at him. "That was Ryan. The exhumation forms came back. Esposito and Lanie are on the way to the cemetery, and we'll meet them at the morgue."

"Are you sure they can control themselves?"

"Don't worry, I think exhuming a body will kill the mood," said Kate, rolling her eyes.

"Oh yes, I'm looking forward to spending the afternoon with a body that's been decaying for five years," said Castle sarcastically. He had a very acute sense of smell, and was not looking forward to spending time with a five-year-dead body. The autopsy room on its own was bad enough.

"Suck it up Castle, you'll be fine," said Kate, pulling the car into gear.

Their drive to the morgue was fairly quick by New York standards. The lunch time traffic seemed to have lightened now that the suits had returned to their jobs.

They beat the body, so Kate took the time to call in the warrant for Rebecca's client list. Judge Markaway agreed to have it faxed as soon as possible, and Kate thanked him.

"The warrant for O'Leary's clients is going through. I'm going to call Ryan to ask him to follow up on who she was yelling at." She turned slightly away from Castle and dialed Ryan's number.

"You've got Ryan here," he said over the phone. Kate could hear the background noise of the precinct and found it oddly comforting. She never thought she'd be saying it, but she almost wished that she had some brain numbing paper work to do, just so she could stop and let herself think.

"Hey, I need you to check Rebecca O'Leary's phone records."

"What do you think I've been doing for the past couple of days?" asked Ryan, half joking and half not.

"Yeah, well now I have something for you to do with all those numbers. Check a week ago at around ten-thirty. Apparently our vic was having a screaming match with whoever was on the phone."

Kate could hear the clicks of Ryan's keyboard and she could imagine him with the phone clamped securely between his ear and his shoulder as he typed away to find the right number.

"Okay, I have a hit. A week ago, our vic got a call at ten twenty eight from the number 212-555-8934."

"Great, run it."

As she heard Ryan running the number, she felt a breath on her neck and turned to see that Castle had leaned in and was listening through her phone. She was brought back, just as she was whenever Castle eavesdropped on her conversations, to the first time he had tried and she had tugged his ear. Since then she'd stopped doing that, but never had she wanted to sink to that level of immaturity than she did that moment. With her emotions towards Castle already running higher than the floods of Katrina, having his warm breath tickle her neck was _not _what she needed to stay focused.

Kate turned to try to glare at him, but she found that he was closer than she expected, and instead of his head facing the same way as hers, his nose was pointing towards the side of her head as if he were nuzzling her neck. He felt her hair move and looked up to meet her eyes. Any reply that was on her lips suddenly flew out of her head as she noticed their proximity. Her breath caught in her throat, and she felt a tickle at the back of her throat. She tried desperately to squelch the feeling rising in her stomach, but it was being more persistent that it ever had been. Her heart thudded and she gazed into Castle's eyes, getting lost in them. They were bluer than any she had ever seen, and she could almost see her reflection in them.

Castle was just as stunned as she was concerning their position. Yes, he had been listening in on her phone call with Ryan, but he hadn't meant it to turn into a moment that was crackling with energy. He had begun with his head facing the same way as Kate's, he really had, but when the faint scent of cherries hit him, he just had to turn his head so he could smell them more. He knew it was creepy – hell, if someone smelled him (well, a fan _had_ tried that once…) he would try to run for the hills. But Kate's shampoo or whatever smelled like cherries was like a drug to him; he couldn't get enough of it.

He felt her move before it registered in his mind. Her long, curly hair tickled his nose as her head turned. He saw a disapproving look in her eyes, but it died as soon as he saw it. He saw her breath hitch and could see the conflict in her features. He was so close that he could see every eyelash that framed her bright green eyes, which looked more hazel today, as they were reflecting the grey tones of her shirt and jacket. His heart pounded as he waited to see if she made a move. She was holding the phone limply between them, almost as if it were placed there to act like a barrier.

"Beckett?" a voice came through the earpiece.

Kate jerked from Castle's gaze, shaking herself, trying to get some control. "Yeah?"

"You okay?"

"Fine," she said shortly, not leaving the topic up for discussion.

"O-okay…" said Ryan.

"Any hits?" she asked, refocusing their conversation.

"Yeah. The phone number belongs to Harvey Mills. No priors, lives uptown on a hundred and tenth, wife, three kids, works on Fifth."

"Great, can you bring him in?"

"Sure thing."

"'Kay, bye."

Ryan hung up the phone and Kate slid hers shut. Castle opened his mouth to say something about what had happened before, but before he could get a word out – much to Kate's pleasure – Lanie and Esposito came back with uniforms carrying the coffin.

"Hey guys," Kate said, trying to keep her voice at a steady level; she was still shaken from the moment she had had with Castle.

"Hey girl," Lanie said. She came over to Kate and asked her quietly, so Castle wouldn't hear. "Is everything okay?"

Kate nodded, choosing not to answer Lanie's question. The latter watched Kate appraisingly, but Kate had her poker face on and was not showing anything.

"Fine, but don't come crying to me when you get that ulcer."

"Lanie, can we just look at the body and see if there's anything that can shed some light?" She stalked into the cold autopsy room, not giving Lanie a chance to answer. The ME followed her friend, determined to get some information out of her. Castle made to follow, but Esposito grabbed his arm and pulled him back. Castle stumbled slightly, forgetting how strong Esposito was.

"What's going on, bro?" Esposito asked, blocking the door to the examination room.

"Nothing, what makes you think there's something going on?" replied Castle, doing his best to keep his face blank.

"Don't lie to me dude. When Lanie and I came in here, the tension was thicker than the smog in LA."

"I don't know what you're talking about."

"Lying to a detective doesn't work," Esposito informed him.

"Why do you guys always use that line?"

"Because it's true. Don't chance the subject. Why did I get a call from Ryan saying that you have a lead, and when he was trying to follow up, he spent a good minute trying to get your attention?"

"What? No, we answered Ryan right away."

"Sorry bro, your alibi doesn't check," said Esposito, smiling cruelly. "Ryan said both of your names multiple times before you answered. So what were you doing?"

"Nothing, I swear," Castle said, trying valiantly to defend himself.

"Swear a little harder, Castle. I know there was something going on before we got here between you and Beckett."

"Why does there have to be something between us?"

"Dude…," said Esposito, shaking his head disapprovingly. "I can't even look at you right now."

"Didn't you already say that to me?"

Esposito didn't answer but went into the autopsy room.

* * *

><p>"Okay, so this guy's been dead for five years, so expect him to stink to the high heavens."<p>

They all pulled their masks over their mouths and took deeps breaths. Esposito took the crow bar and pried open the top of the coffin. Even though they all were holding their breaths, the stench made their eyes water and they could still smell the scent of decaying flesh and fungus.

The body itself was gross enough to make their stomachs turn. Esposito had turned a pale shade of green, and Kate was doing her best to keep all the coffee she had drunk down. Castle swayed lightly, and Lanie did her best to look professional, but her facial expression gave her away.

The man's skin was limp and missing in places. The skin that was still semi-intact had a distinct blue tinge. There were dead maggots and maggot cocoons all over the body. Most of the body was covered in green and brown fungus.

"Let's go outside and talk about him a little," suggested Lanie, her voice muffled from the mask covering her nose and mouth.

The others nodded, excited by the prospect of being able to breath in something other than shallow breaths.

Bursting through the doors to the examination room, they all ripped off their masks and took deep breaths. Immediately, the woozy feeling improved, but they could still faintly smell the body.

Lanie brought them into her office – a room on the other end of the hall with a closed door. They all piled in and stood around her desk.

"Considering his condition, he was embalmed very well…probably nearly as well as the Egyptian mummies were," said Lanie.

"Is that why there's still some skin and organs?" asked Kate, blinking rapidly to rid her eyes of some of the tears.

"Exactly. Now I have his autopsy report here, and it says that he died from blunt force trauma to his frontal lobe. His skull broke, causing immediate death."

"Was there anything else interesting?"

"Nope. Tox screen shows that he took Meclizine HCl about an hour before he died."

"What's that?" asked Esposito, sitting on the edge of the desk and ducking his head.

"They're over the counter pills that help with vertigo. One of their side effects is possible drowsiness, but after the first hour, most of the drowsiness should have passed. There were also traces of tobacco in his lungs, probably left over from when he used to smoke. When he went on the pills, he had to quit."

"Great, anything else?" asked Kate.

"No, that's pretty much it. I'm going to want to take a look at him closer, but…" Lanie added after seeing their reaction to the idea of going back to see the body. "I'll do it later. You guys are off the hook. I'll call you with updates."

"Thanks Lanie," said Kate gratefully. She really did want to keep her coffee and the little food she had eaten in her stomach. "Come on, let's see if Ryan got that guy yet."

Esposito and Castle followed Kate to the elevators and stepped inside.

"That was disgusting," said Castle.

"It was so nasty," agreed Kate.

"It's makin' my stomach turn right now," Esposito said, holding his stomach.

They exited the bull pen, but before they could get far, Ryan approached them. He stopped about five feet from them, crinkled his nose, and began backing away.

"Dude, what did you do? I can smell you from here."

"Great," said Kate sarcastically. "We were with Lanie exhuming a five year dead corpse."

"Well, Harvey Mills is in Interrogation Room 1, but you might want to shower before going in there."

"Thanks, Ryan. Fine, while Castle and I talk to Mr. Mills, can you two run background on him? See if anything pops. Also, the list of O'Leary's clients should be coming in soon, so run that too. Keep me posted. And Esposito," she said, turning to him. "You might want to shower as well."

"You think?" asked Esposito, running for the locker rooms upstairs. Ryan smiled, shook his head, and returned to his desk.

"Okay, Castle, I'm going to go shower and change. Why don't you go home, freshen up, and meet me back here in an hour so we can talk to Mr. Mills."

"Good idea. See you soon, Detective," he said, pretending to tip is hat as he climbed back into the recently vacated elevator. Kate rolled her eyes and followed Esposito towards the locker rooms.

* * *

><p>"Mr. Mills, I'm Detective Kate Beckett. I'm here about Rebecca O'Leary," Kate declared as she stalked into the interrogation room. She had taken a speedy, but efficient shower and changed into the spare clothes she kept at the precinct at all times.<p>

_As she made her way to the interrogation room, she heard her cell phone ringing. Thinking it was Lanie, she picked it up. _

"_Beckett."_

"_Hey, it's Castle."_

"_What's up?" she asked._

"_I got home and Alexis was here. She's worse than she was this morning. Is it okay if you fly solo for this one?" he asked, sounding tentative, as if he expected her to demand that he come to the precinct._

_Kate was a little disappointed that Castle wouldn't be there, but she knew that he'd come as soon as Lanie got some more information about George Tye. _

"_Don't be silly, Castle, you need to be home with Alexis. I'll call you when Lanie has a report, and if Alexis is feeling better you can come by."_

"_I wouldn't miss it for the world," he said, smiling. "Have fun with Mills. Keep me posted."_

"_Sure. Bye."_

"_Bye," he said, hanging up the phone._

_Kate shut hers and put it back on her desk. She wished that Castle were there to give her some moral support, but she was feeling good about the case. They had a lead on the O'Leary case, and Tye's exhumation was going fairly well (she hoped). They were in a good position._

"Do you know how long I've been waiting Detective?" asked Harvey, jerking Kate out of her flashback.

"I will be asking the questions, Mr. Mills," she told him, placing the leather folder on the table and taking a seat opposite him. "Now tell me. What was your relationship with Rebecca O'Leary?"

"She was my accountant."

"How long had you been going to her?"

"Years. I don't know. Why? What's this about?"

"Why did you call her a week ago?" Kate asked, answering his question with one of her own.

"I called her because I wanted to check on the status of the financial aid for my children."

"Financial aid forms are due in February, so don't lie to me. Why did you call her?"

"It was…personal."

"Mr. Mills, you can either answer my questions, or you can be charged with murder. Is that what you want?"

"Murder? Who did I kill?" he asked, incredulous.

"Rebecca O'Leary. Unless you tell me otherwise."

Harvey Mills' face became redder with anger and he began to stand up. "I didn't kill her. What makes you think that?"

"Mr. Mills, sit down," Kate said in her best interrogation voice. She watched as he slowly slid back into his chair. "Maybe because you were fighting with her a week ago, and now she's dead."

"You know about that?"

"So what was it, Mr. Mills? Here's what I think. I think she was covering for you, but she was getting impatient. She threatened to expose you and so you killed her."

"No, I didn't kill her."

"Then tell me what you were fighting about," Kate demanded, staring him down.

Harvey took a deep breath, and looked like he was doing his best to burn a hole through the steel table. He began to rock back and forth, clasping and unclasping his hands.

"Mr. Mills, this will be a lot easier if you just tell me what you were fighting about."

"Okay fine," he said quickly. "I got into some trouble—"

"What kind of trouble?"

"I got involved with the wrong guys. I owed them money, but I didn't have enough equity to pay without my wife and family knowing. I was going over financials and stocks with Rebecca to see if I could produce the cash."

"What were you fighting about?"

"I asked her to keep it quiet from my family. You see, at first, my wife and I would go together, but once I started needing help, I went on my own. Rebecca was nice enough to do it off the books, meaning I didn't have to pay her."

"So she wanted you to get it together because people in her office would ask why she had more patients than income?"

"Exactly. I told her I only needed another week or so, and I'd have the money."

"Do you think one of the guys you got involved with found her?"

"No, they don't know I'm seeing her."

"Are you sure about that?"

"Positive."

Kate made a note.

"Who did you tangle with, anyway?" she asked.

"Billy Galeno. I owe him about a hundred grand."

"Where were you two nights ago between five and seven?"

"I was home with my family. We were eating dinner."

"We'll be sure to check into it."

Kate closed her folder, stood, and stared Harvey Mills down for another moment before walking from the room.

* * *

><p>She entered the bull pen and stopped in one of the conference rooms where the boys were pouring over a table full of files and papers.<p>

"Client information?" asked Kate.

"Yup. Came in about ten minutes ago. We're just organizing it now."

Kate was about to answer when someone cut her off.

"Great, how can I help?"

"Castle?" she asked incredulously.

"What?"

"Shouldn't you be at home with Alexis?"

"She's sleeping. Before she conked out, she begged me to come back here and help you guys. Anyway, mother is there with her now."

Kate nodded, still skeptical.

"Huh," she began. "I would have thought you would be sitting in a rocking chair watching her sleep."

"I was. But then I felt this thing inside that told me that I should come back."

Kate raised an eyebrow, biting her lip in disbelief.

"And you expect me to believe that?"

"No, but it's the truth."

"Uh huh…" she said, nodding her head slowly. "Any hits yet?"

"Beckett, we haven't even looked at them."

"When you do, look into Harvey Mills. He should have two files, one for family financials, and one that was trying to get his assets together enough that he can pay off Bill Galeno."

"Wait a minute, I remember him," said Esposito.

"From where?" asked Ryan.

"I arrested him when I was with the Fifty-Fourth."

"Charges?"

"Assault, battery, some B and Es," Esposito said.

"Great, so look into him again."

Kate turned to leave the room and type up her notes, but before she took but two steps, her phone chimed. She quickly read the text and faced her team again.

"Lanie found something. She wants us to come down ASAP."

They all scrambled from their seats and nearly ran to the elevators. They barged into the autopsy room and Ryan nearly fainted.

"Oh god, it smells," he cried.

"Hang on," Castle said, sniffing the air. "What's that fruity smell?"

"I sprayed some air freshener in here so I could breath. Also, after the second orderly fainted, I thought it would be good," Lanie said, with a slight laugh.

"Okay, what have you got?" Kate asked, seeing the man lying face down on the slab.

"Well, we didn't see it until I rolled him over, but see how there's fungus everywhere?"

They all nodded.

"Why is there less fungus there?" asked Kate, pointing to two parts of his back where they fungus growth was considerably lighter.

"Well, do you see a shape there?" asked Lanie.

"It looks kinda like a hand," said Esposito.

"That's 'cause it _is _a hand," Lanie answered.

"So Tye was murdered?" asked Castle.

"Well he was definitely pushed off the scaffolding."

"Do you think Killingworth's murder was a cover up for this murder?" asked Ryan.

Kate looked at the hand prints and quickly ran though all the information she had on Killingsworth's death.

"Yes, I do," she said. "And you know the only person who's left who could have done it?"

"Henry Garfield," Castle answered quickly.

"Bingo."

**Ahh! What will happen next? You'll have to wait a week to find out. So before I begin my rambling, please leave me a review. I treasure your feedback and comments.**

**1. I hope you're enjoying the references I'm throwing in here. I also hope they're not too frequent - I just love references.**

**2. To be honest, even though I live in Boston, I've never been in one of their Accounting firms, so we're just going to go with the fact that Boston is superior to New York and therefore the firms will be nicer. (GO SOX!)**

**3. I wrote the part where she stalks off because I was reminded of when she stuffed the bear claw in his mouth in 1x09. I wish I had a bear claw for her to shut him up with, but I guess stalking away will just have to do.**

**4. AWWWW Caskett moment! Kate's feelings are definitely changing, and who knows what will happen next time she sees Josh (no really, who knows, because I certainly don't. Any ideas?)**

**5. So remember how I told you I was writing this in school? Well I was at the computers in the library googling "human decay" "maggots" and "stages of decomposition." People gave me some weird looks...also, please use suspended disbelief, because I don't know if a corpse would still have flesh after 5 years...PS: Sorry if I totally grossed you out ; )**

**6. Their reactions in the elevator are loosely based off of the actors' reactions in "Manhattan's Most Unusal Murders" from the Season 2 DVDs.**

**7. Aww, sweet Castle being a Dad moments. They always warm my heart.**

**8. Okay, so yes, I took the hand idea from _Body of Proof_ on ABC...all rights go to them. Woo hoo, go Dana Delaney!**

**9. Lastly: OH MY GOD! Cliffhanger! Sort of. But let me tell you - it's not over! They still have to iron out the kinks and get more evidence and all this police-y stuff. **

**But yeah, I hope you liked this chapter and it was fun and interesting. Please leave a review. If you want more fun moments and stuff, hang tight - one more procedural chapter and then we're home free...well so to speak. Thank you to everyone who alerted, reviewed and favorited...you are the reason I write. Have a wonderful week and countdown to RISE! Best, Mangotango101**


	15. Chapter 15

**OH MY GOD. The premiere was UNBELIEVABLE. I know I said I'd have this up before, but I decided to wait - hoping that after the premiere, more people would be looking for a good Castle fiction...I'm not going to say anymore in case people haven't seen it yet, but I HIGHLY suggest seeing it ASAP. It's more Epic than the finale.**

**That being said - I think you will be able to tell what was written pre-premiere and what was written post-premiere. I will say that I have a totally different outlook on the characters, so I'll do my best to keep them the way they were before ; )**

**Also...after seeing the premiere, I think a lot (if not all) of you will be pleased with this chapter. I know I said I'd close the case, but well...that will happen in the first half of next chapter, I promise. The end of this one kind of took its own life...**

**Some amount of suspended disbelief will be needed for this, but please don't poke holes in my plot. I know there are holes, but it works pretty darn well.**

**This is dedicated to rsg0569 for introducing me to Castle in the first place (though she's sincerely regretting it now) and for encouraging me to write. Here's to you...enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: This is not mine. It belongs to ABC, Andrew W Marlowe or whoever owns _Castle_. I am not making an profit off of this, and no copyright infringement is intended. Please don't sue me.**

**Chapter 15**

"Lanie," asked Kate, still looking at the body. "What would account for the handprints?"

"Since there's less fungus there, that means that the fungus started growing later than all the rest. I'd say that whoever pushed him had some kind of anti-fungus substance on his hands," answered Lanie.

"Great, thanks for all your help," said Kate."

"I'd say it was my pleasure, but it was kinda gross," laughed Lanie.

"Well we're all the more grateful. Come on, guys, let's go back upstairs."

The team headed for the elevator, making sure they didn't smell too much like a dead body.

"Dude, you smell awful," said Esposito, awkwardly sniffing Ryan.

"It's not like you smell any better."

"Guys, can we focus, please?" asked Kate, rolling her eyes.

The elevator spit them out to the fourth floor and they all made a bee line to the murder board.

"So we know Henry Garfield is our killer. Can we arrest him now?"

"Not yet," Kate told him.

"Why?" whined Castle.

"Because we need more evidence first. Ryan, I want you to run his medical history. I want to know if he ever would have needed anti-fungus cream or anything like that. If so, we can directly connect him to the murder. Esposito, put surveillance on him, but don't let him know we're watching."

"You got it, boss," said Esposito, going to his desk. Ryan nodded in agreement and also went to take a seat at his desk.

Castle leaned against the edge of Kate's desk contemplating the board in front of him. He looked to his left where Rebecca O'Leary's board was. He began formulating a theory in his mind that, surprisingly, had nothing to do with the CIA. He couldn't get rid of the nagging feeling that the two were connected, but he still didn't know how.

"What's up, Castle?" asked Kate, looking at him. She noticed how his eyes were flicking back and forth between the white boards and she had a feeling he was thinking the same thing as her.

"I have this feeling that these two are connected," he said, turning to her with a confused look in his eye. "I can't explain it, but ever since we saw her crime scene, the thought has been bugging the back of my mind."

"I feel the same way," she said, leaning in slightly. "Everything about her case seems off."

"It was even too clean for a pop and drop," Castle elaborated. "There was no forensic evidence at the crime scene, there was nothing suspicious in her life, and she didn't seem to have any enemies."

"Well no, there was Billy Galeno."

"Wait, who's Billy Galeno?"

"Did I not tell you about him?"

The look on Castle's face gave Kate her answer. "Sorry. Billy Galeno was threatening one of O'Leary's clients."

"Who?" Castle asked. "Harvey Mills?"

"Yeah."

"See, I _knew_ I shouldn't have missed that interrogation," said Castle dejectedly.

"It's okay, Castle, Alexis needed you. I'll fill you in."

Kate moved back to her desk chair and Castle took a seat in his chair. He leaned his chin on his palm and leaned towards her, listening attentively.

"So Harvey Mills got involved with the wrong guy—"

"Billy Galeno?" Castle interrupted.

Kate gave him a disapproving glare. "Yes. And so Mills didn't have enough money to pay Galeno back without his family knowing," Kate began. "He went to O'Leary, who was his family's accountant, and she was working off the books in order to get enough financials in place for him to pay off the guy. Apparently, O'Leary was getting worried that her partners would realize that the amount of time she spent in the office wasn't proportional to the amount of money she was receiving."

"So O'Leary pressures Mills to get the money faster," Castle adds, quickly falling into place building theory with Kate.

"But Mills can't keep up. Galeno gets anxious and—"

"Kills O'Leary."

"But why?"

"Because," Kate began slowly, forming an idea in her mind as she spoke. "If the partners at her accounting firm got too suspicious, they would look into her off the book client and find Galeno, but he couldn't have that. He needed to kill O'Leary to make sure no one found him out."

"Okay, but how are we going to find Galeno? He's got to be in hiding."

"Esposito said that he arrested Galeno when he was with the Five Four," Kate said. She turned her attention across the bull pen to where Esposito was leafing through a file. "Hey Esposito," she called. "What do you know about Billy Galeno?"

Esposito looked up and went to Kate's desk in order that he didn't have to shout across the precinct. "I don't know. I arrested him a couple years ago. He did a nickel upstate, but was released a few months ago."

"Do you have any known associates?"

"No, but some of my friends at the Five Four might," he said.

"Great, can you try to locate him and bring him in?"

"Sure thing."

"Do you think Galeno is the link between the two cases?" asked Castle.

"I don't know. We didn't find any connection to Galeno through Killingsworth. Maybe we should take another look, though. Hey Ryan," she called to her other team mate.

"What's up?"

"Can you look to see if Bill Galeno appeared in Killingsworth background? Even a minor connection…a café, a bar, social networking sites, anything like that."

"You got it."

Ryan started clicking away rapidly at his computer and Kate turned back to her own. She began to make some notes of the new developments in the cases when she felt a pair of eyes on her.

"Yes Castle?" she asked.

"Nothing," he said, turning back to his iPhone.

"Something's bothering you," she said, closing her file. "I can tell. Please just tell me so I can get back to work."

Castle looked at her, as if appraising her. He desperately wanted to talk to her about their last meeting with Harry Garfield, but he wasn't sure how she'd take it.

"Are you okay?" he asked.

"Yeah, I'm fine," she answered on default.

Kate turned back to her file, reopening it and picking up her pen. She felt Castle's gaze leave the side of her head and she was grateful. She still hadn't forgotten about their moment down in the morgue, and to be honest, just thinking about it made her heart beat faster. She _needed _to sort out her feelings, or else she'd drive everyone insane. No, better yet, she needed to talk to Lanie. But she had already refused Lanie's dire attempts to get any information out of her. Kate was too proud to go running to her friend for help. Shaking her head, Kate tried to focus on the paperwork in front of her. She lifted her pen and began filling in the lines and the boxes to the best of her ability. Every so often, she'd make a note on a separate piece of paper as a reminder for something to look into later.

"Beckett?" asked Castle after waiting what felt like hours, but in reality it couldn't have been longer than an hour.

"What?" she responded, a little harsher than strictly necessary.

"I was just thinking…"

"Yes?"

"Do you think Garfield really meant what he said yesterday?"

"What do you mean?" asked Beckett, setting down her pen.

"I mean what he said about Tye and his reaction to it. If he killed Tye, then do you really think he could have taken a month's leave of absence?"

"Maybe it was a guilty conscience," reasoned Kate.

"But then five years later, he kills his best friend to cover the murder? That sounds more like a cold blooded killer."

"What are you getting at, Castle?" asked Kate. She had an idea, but she wanted to hear it from him first.

"Do you think that he could have made that up just to throw us off? What if he told that story so it would get to you, just so you wouldn't think it was him? You said yourself that after that story, you were inclined to believe that it wasn't him."

"So what? You think he said what he said just to throw off suspicion?"

"Yeah."

"Then how would he have known?"

"He might have an inside source."

"I haven't told very many people about my mother's murder or the reason I became a cop. That seems pretty unlikely."

"But not impossible."

At this point, Kate was intrigued. She never thought of it that way. If Garfield did tell that story just to push her buttons, then she had no idea how he would have known about it. It was an interesting position concerning the case, but Kate was still mystified as to how Garfield could have known about it.

Kate realized that if that was Garfield's plan, it worked well. Her first reaction after he told his story was remorse – she felt bad for him that he had to go through that. She had wanted to keep him out of it as much as possible.

Castle noticed the uneasy look in her eye and decided to call her out on it, even if it wasn't the smartest thing he could do.

"Are you okay?"

"I fell for it, Castle," she said, wondering if this was how Castle felt when he was tricked by the call girl close to a year ago. "He was playing me and he won. I threw my suspicion."

"It happens to everyone, Beckett, you can't blame yourself."

"It's just that I'm usually better at gauging whether people are playing me," she continued, still self deprecating.

"Beckett, it's not your fault. He tricked all of us."

"You know what makes it worse?" she asked, staring deep into his eyes.

"No."

"That he could be so cold hearted as to say those things about his colleague when he was the one who killed him."

"We need to talk to him again," said Castle, trying to change the subject slightly. He knew that if Kate kept blaming herself then they would get nowhere.

"But not yet," she responded. "He doesn't know that we know that he killed Tye and Killingsworth, and we want it to stay that way. We'll only bring him in when we have rock solid evidence."

"Okay, so it makes sense that he would be playing you," began Castle. He caught the look on her face, which was a mixture of confusion and hurt, and quickly back peddled. "What I mean is that his reasoning for conning you makes sense. But we still don't know how he knew." Castle thought for a moment, looking at some indiscernible mark in the distance. Kate could see the inklings of a theory building in his head, and didn't disturb him, in case he lost his train of thought.

"Was your mother's murder in the papers?" he asked slowly.

Kate was taken aback. "Yeah, I think so."

"Maybe he read it then and put two and two together," he suggested.

"Castle, Garfield wasn't exactly the brightest bulb of the bunch. Do you really think he read the paper twenty two years ago and remembered that her name was Beckett, and then put two and two together?"

"It's a possibility."

"That's a little farfetched, even for you. I'm not denying that Garfield might have known about my situation, but I don't think that that is how he knew."

"So what's your idea?"

"I don't know," said Kate, looking at her notes on Rebecca O'Leary. She leafed through a couple files, looking for an answer.

Castle watched her, not daring to breathe in case he startled her. Instead, he just admired the view. He watched her long neck curve gracefully and her eyes dart back and forth over the page of neatly typed notes. Her long thin fingers nimbly flipped the pages, and Castle did his utmost to _not_ think about what else those fingers could do.

"Castle?" Kate asked, waving a hand in front of his face.

"What?" he cried, looking around confusedly.

"You okay?"

"What? Yeah, I'm fine. Sorry," he said, shaking his head to rid it of mental images that were not appropriate for well…ever.

"I think I might have found the connection," she told him.

"What?"

"What happened to you vocabulary, Castle? You seem to be using the word 'what' more usual," she teased.

"Ouch, Detective. You wound me," he played back.

Kate rolled her eyes and instead of stooping to his level to answer him, she shoved the file in front of him.

"What's this?" he asked, quickly scanning the page.

"It's O'Leary's family report. Apparently, her brother was a reporter back in the day."

"Let me guess," Castle said, his smile growing. "He was the one who reported your mother's murder."

Kate nodded, pulling the corner of her lip between her teeth and cast her eyes downward onto the worn wood of her desk. She was glad that they finally found something that could begin to explain the connection, but she vaguely remembered the name. Not enough to recognize it if she weren't looking for the specific connection, but now that she knew that O'Leary's brother reported on her mother's murder, she remembered seeing his name in the typeset. She remembered being angry at him that he could talk about her mother as if she were another statistic to add to the rapidly growing homicide rate in New York. She remembered wanting to hunt him down and give him a talking to and remind him that that woman he wrote about so brazenly was her mother. It all came rushing back to her, and she could feel the pressure building behind her eyes. _No, _Kate thought. _I won't cry in the precinct. I can't let them know how much this gets to me. I won't._

She brought her eyes back up to Castle's face, but couldn't hold his gaze. Her eyes darted around the bull pen, only focusing on something for a fraction of a second before moving on.

"I remember him," she said quietly, staring at the air above Castle's head.

"Does he have a connection to Garfield?" Castle asked, cautious to not invade on her private moment too much.

"I remember following his articles for a few months afterwards, trying to find out if he was so bland with all the other murder victims. I stopped reading his column because I couldn't take the way he talked about them."

"Do you think he could have reported on Tye's death?" asked Castle.

"It's very possible. We'd have to look into his columns. If he did, then that's our connection."

"Hey yo, Beckett," called Esposito, walking up the two of them. Kate shook her head, clearing it of any emotion caused by the revelation of their connection. "We found Billy Galeno."

"Already?" she asked, glad that she had something else to concentrate on.

"Yeah, some beat cops saw him dealing in the Heights. They're bringing him in now."

"Was he on parole?"

"Yup. This is the second time he's busted."

"Wow," said Castle. "That guy's a dedicated felon."

Kate rolled her eyes. "Esposito, can you look into O'Leary's brother, Brion Fitzpatrick?"

"It's actually 'Bree-un,'" called Ryan from his desk. They all turned to him in surprise. "You guys should really learn how to pronounce the Irish names," he said with a smile.

"How much do you think he got made fun of in school?" asked Castle.

"Probably too much," said Kate.

"Actually, he probably went to a Catholic Irish School where they would have made fun of him if he had a more normal name," Ryan called again.

"Dude," Esposito said disapprovingly.

"Just saying…" Ryan replied, holding his hands up in the universal 'I'm innocent' gesture.

"Regardless of how to pronounce his name, can you please see if he reported on the Tye murder?" Beckett said, reclaiming control.

"Why?"

"Because if he did, then our two vics are connected."

"What?" cried Esposito.

"Crazy, right?" asked Castle, looking at the stunned detective.

"You guys had better fill me in," said Esposito.

"Later. I want to interrogate Galeno. When I'm done, we'll fill you in and go from there," said Kate, gathering what she needed for the interrogation. "Castle, I think you better sit this one out."

"Why?"

"Just do it, Castle," she said shortly, getting up and stalking to the interrogation room.

* * *

><p>"Mr. Galeno, I'm Detective Beckett," Kate said, walking into the room, letting the uniform at the door close it.<p>

"Why am I here, Detective?"

"Do you know someone by the name of Harvey Mills?" she asked coolly.

"Yeah, so? What about him?"

"How much did he owe you?" she continued, ignoring his question.

"What makes you think he owed me anything?" he challenged.

"I will be asking the questions here, Mr. Galeno. Tell me. How much did he owe you?"

"Now that's not really any of your business," he sneered quietly.

"Oh really?" she asked, leaning across the table and getting into his personal space.

"Really."

She sat back and watched him for a few minutes. He began to fidget slightly, even though he did his best to hide how uncomfortable he was. Kate smiled in her head, knowing what she was doing to him.

"Well let me tell you how this is going to go. You're going to answer my questions, and then I'm going to lock you up. How does that sound?"

Galeno pretended to think about it for a moment before answering her, "I don't think so, Detective. You better think of a better deal, or I'm not sayin' a word."

"I don't think you're in any position to be making demands, Mr. Galeno. I have you dead to rights on possession with the intent to distribute, battery, and assault."

"I already served my prison sentence for those," he said, trying to play it cool.

"Yet you're dealing again _months_ after you got parole. And this isn't even your first time busting, is it?"

"What's that got to do with anything?"

"You've got some nerve, Mr. Galeno," Kate said, staring him down. She stood from her seat in order to gain some more of the stature Natalie Rhodes was talking about when she had come to shadow Kate. "Now, unless you want to be back in Sing-Sing before evening roll call, you better start answering my questions."

"You really think you can scare me with your threats, Detective?"

"It doesn't matter, because you're going to cooperate. Now tell me your relationship with Harvey Mills."

Galeno leaned casually back in his chair and crossed his arms in an unconscious defensive maneuver. Kate had seen it before and knew that she was finally treading on territory that would get her some answers.

"Mr. Galeno, you better start answering me now," she said in her most intimidating cop voice. She stopped right behind him so she was facing the mirror that was actually the one way mirror. She could almost feel the Captain giving her an encouraging nod. She continued to pace and lean on Galeno to talk, oblivious to the conversation happening behind the glass.

* * *

><p>"Do you think she can break him?" Castle asked the Captain. They were watching Kate try to get information out of Galeno, but he wasn't budging.<p>

"Eventually. I didn't think he'd be this hard to break though," Montgomery answered.

"How's she doing?" asked Ryan, entering Observation with Esposito at his side.

"He's not falling for any of her bait. He's good," the Captain said, turning to face the detectives.

"I'm sure Beckett will break him. If there's anything she's good at, it's making criminals break without them even noticing their saying anything incriminating," said Ryan confidently.

"Yeah, she does, doesn't she?" Castle said quietly, almost to himself. He looked through the mirror at Kate who was circling Galeno like a tiger circling its prey. He was so engrossed in watching Kate pace that he didn't realize the snicker and elbow nudge that passed between Ryan and Esposito.

At that moment, Castle was again struck by her stunning beauty. He loved the way her clothes gave her a no-nonsense cop vibe, yet still looked feminine and attractive. Her hair was pulled loosely into a pony tail help back by a barrette, and he loved it when she wore her hair that way. She didn't do it often, because it would be too easy for a perp to yank her hair if it was in pony tail. Today though, she risked it, and let wisps frame her angular, yet soft face.

Rick was entranced by the way she maneuvered around the interrogation room, walking as if she owned it. Even though Galeno was being rude and snarky, Rick couldn't help but be in awe of how Kate didn't let it even faze her. Even though he had seen her in the box with perps for years, it never ceased to impress him the sheer level of concentration it took her to not get riled up with suspects. In all honesty, he had only seen her truly loose it twice – once was not even with the perp, but will Agent Fallon, and the second was with Vulcan Simmons during the Raglan case. Even under those strenuous circumstances, Rick was still impressed by how long she kept it together.

Castle was brought back into the present when he noticed that Kate had once again taken her seat across from Galeno. He listened to the recording and watched Galeno's face. It was clear that Kate had gotten him to talk.

* * *

><p>"I gave him some money about a month ago," said Galeno.<p>

"Really?" asked Kate sarcastically. "How much?"

"Seventy-five Gs."

"Seventy-five thousand? Why did he borrow that much money?"

"How am I supposed to know? I don't ask, I just gave it to him. I don't even care."

"I'm sure you don't, but what you _do_ care about it getting your money back, is that correct, Mr. Galeno?"

"Of course. I wouldn't have given it to him if I didn't think that he could pay it back."

"Were you charging him interest?"

"'Course I did. I'd be a fool not to. I knew he wouldn't pay me back for a couple months, so by the time he did, he'd owe me close to a hundred grand."

"Did he tell you that he would pay you back within the next week?"

"Lady, he paid me back two days ago," said Galeno as if Kate were stupid.

"Two days ago?" Kate asked, surprised.

"Yes, Ma'am. The deal went down on a Hundred and Thirty Third at eleven pm."

Kate made a note of her file, but her heart was sinking – Galeno wasn't their guy. She wasn't discouraged, because they still had the newspaper lead. Just to cover all her bases, she asked Billy Galeno one more questions.

"Where were you two nights ago between five and seven?"

"Why are you asking me that?"

"Just answer the question."

"I was at home. Eating dinner."

"Alone?"

"Yeah."

"You're free to go. You should be grateful that I'm not booking you for busting parole," she said, closing her leather bound file and pushing her chair back.

"I hope to see you again soon, Detective," he said, smiling creepily.

"Forgive me if I don't return the sentiment," she told him, stalking out the door and closing it firmly behind her.

* * *

><p>On her way back to her desk, her three teammates and her Captain filed out of Observation and followed her to her desk.<p>

"Esposito, did you find anything?" she asked, stopping in front of the murder board to rearrange some pictures and make some notes.

"Yeah," said Esposito, handing Kate a file. "Brion wrote an article about Tye's death and interviewed Garfield."

"So there's our connection. But why was she killed?" Kate muttered to herself, turning back to the board and writing information concerning Brion Fitzpatrick.

"Hold on," said Montgomery. "So you're saying that these two cases are connected?"

"It's just conjecture at the moment, but Castle picked up on something that Garfield said to me when we went to the worksite that didn't make sense."

"Which was?" prompted Montgomery.

"Well," Castle began. "Garfield said that he took a month's leave of absence after Tye's death which is congruous with a guilty conscious, but what doesn't make sense is that he asked Beckett what it was like to be working somewhere with the memory of a lost loved one all around, and being unable to escape the memories."

"He said that to you?" asked the Captain incredulous. No one messed with his detectives.

"It's all right, Sir," Kate reassured him. He wasn't fooled; she had ducked her head and pushed her hair behind her ear.

"What else did he say?"

"That's it," said Castle. "But if he really felt that way, then why would he murder is best friend to cover it up five years later?"

"Wait, Garfield is the killer?" Montgomery asked, confused. Clearly this case was moving faster than the Amtrak and he was having a hard time keeping up.

"Well we don't know for sure," began Kate.

"No, I looked into Garfield's medical history. Apparently, about five and a half years ago, he went to the doctor with an uncontrollably itchy foot. He had a rare fungus, and his doctor gave him a prescription cream that killed the fungus," Ryan said, handing Kate another file. She opened it and scanned the single page quickly.

"So we know he's the killer for sure?" asked Kate.

"He definitely murdered Tye. We're still waiting on more evidence for Killingsworth."

Kate took a red marker and wrote in block letters under Garfield's name 'KILLER.'

"Will someone explain to me how between today and yesterday you went from inclined to say he didn't do it to he might be a double murderer?" asked Montgomery, more confused than ever.

"We exhumed George Tye's body and found that there were two places where the fungus growth was considerably less, and they were shaped like two hands. Lanie said that it was because whoever pushed him had some kind of anti-fungus cream on his hands, which kept the fungus from growing for longer."

"So Garfield pushed his coworker off of the scaffolding, and no one thought it was murder because they couldn't see the fungus pattern yet?" asked the Captain, clarifying it for himself.

"Exactly. From there, we're assuming that he murdered Killingsworth to cover the crime," continued Castle. "And, if he did, then he's more like a cold blooded killer than someone with a guilty conscious. So what he told Beckett didn't make sense."

"I see. The fact that he might also be Killingsworth's murderer makes his story about being reminded everywhere he looks a lot less accountable."

"So we thought that he told that story, solely so I would lift suspicion off of him," said Kate, her voice still laced with annoyance.

"But how would he have known how to push your buttons?" Montgomery asked.

"Beckett and I have been having these nagging feelings all through the case that O'Leary and Killingsworth were connected, so we looked into O'Leary's background, and she has a brother who is a journalist who writes articles about the deaths in Manhattan for the Ledger," explain Castle.

"We looked into him, and found that he wrote both about Beckett's mother and about Tye."

"So that's our connection," said Kate, feeling as if a weight had been lifted from her shoulders. The nagging feeling was gone, and they finally had a connection.

"But why would O'Leary be murdered?" asked Ryan.

"Remember how a witness said they saw a man in a red pull over?" Kate inquired.

"Yeah. We subpoenaed traffic cams, but we couldn't get a face on him."

"Okay, so maybe Killingsworth started looking into how Tye died, because he suspected foul play," Kate said slowly, building a theory. "Garfield didn't want him sniffing around, because he didn't want to be incriminated, so he kills Killingsworth in a way that would seem natural."

"Maybe," Castle joined in. "O'Leary read the article and found it strange so she used her brother's notes to find out what she could."

"What are the chances that Garfield could have killed O'Leary as well?" asked the Captain. He was feeling good that he was there building theory with his best homicide team. Ever since he became Captain, he didn't do nearly enough mystery solving – not since the messenger case that brought back so much from his days with the Six-Four.

"It's definitely a possibility. But still, why would he kill her?" asked Kate, making more notes on the murder board. Both white boards were so covered in black and red ink that it was hard to see what was what.

"Because Garfield didn't want her snooping around what he thought were his contingency plans."

"So O'Leary read her brother's article and began to dig into it and got killed for it?" Kate asked.

"It makes sense," said Ryan. Everyone looked at him incredulously. "No," he amended quickly. "I meant that that is the only reasoning that makes sense."

Kate was still feeling uneasy, especially now that they had a possible connection and motive.

"Ryan, check Garfield's whereabouts between five and seven two nights ago. See if his workers could corroborate him being at the site, or if he's in the hospital logs," ordered Kate. Ryan went to his computer and began typing quickly. Kate turned to Esposito. "I need you to bring in Garfield. Castle and I will talk to him. Also, see if you can get a warrant for his house. I want to see if the clothes we found on the mysterious traffic cam guy were his."

Esposito nodded and also went to his desk.

"Looks like you've got this under control, Beckett," said Montgomery, dipping his head in recognition.

"Yes, thank you, Sir," she replied, smiling.

"You know where to find me," he said while walking back to his office. Kate watched as he took a seat at his desk and made a phone call. She looked once more at the murder boards before sitting at her desk. She tapped the space bar on her keyboard to wake up her computer and was just opening the NYPD database when she felt a movement to her left. She heard a rustle of fabric and could feel Castle's eyes on her.

She sighed in relief when she heard him get up once more and make his way to the break room. She took the few minutes of solitude to calm her racing mind. Before she could get far, a mug of sweet smelling coffee was being put in front of her.

"Thanks Castle," she said, wrapping her hands around the warm ceramic.

Rick didn't answer; he chose to smile and take a seat silently. He watched as Kate turned back to her work.

She did her best to ignore the holes she felt were being bored into her scalp. Kate took a deep breath and began to try to compartmentalize in her mind. She wanted to sort out all of her feelings before she went any farther with the case. As she always did, she went methodically through her problems, reveling in the fact that the boys were busy and Castle seemed to be fiddling with some new something or other on her phone. Before she could even open her 'Josh' box, Castle interrupted her thoughts.

"Are you okay?" he asked, ignoring the fact that it didn't look like she wanted to talk. Kate was tempted to revert to her default answer of 'Yeah, I'm fine,' just to go back to what she was thinking about, but she realized she couldn't hold it in much longer.

"It's just that this reminds me of my mom's case," she said quietly, tracing a random mark on her desk.

He didn't probe further; he waited for her to provide the information. She was grateful that he had picked up that kind of thing over the years. Sometimes the last thing she needed was someone prompting her to talk when all she needed was some time.

She took a deep breath, ready to continue. "It just seems that the only reason Rebecca O'Leary was killed was because she was looking into a suspicious death."

Castle still stayed silent, just watching her work through her emotions at her own pace.

"It reminds me of the Raglan case. Ryan and Esposito were tortured because we were looking into my mother's murder. They had a detail on me because I was digging into the conspiracy."

"Kate, you can't blame yourself for what happened to Ryan and Esposito," he said gently. Rick was so tempted to rest his hand gently on her arm, but they were at the precinct, so any sort of physical contact was out of the question. He also didn't know if he'd be able to control himself.

"The bastards who ordered the hit on your mother are totally different from this case," he said, not sure if he was reassuring her or himself.

"Are they really that different? A man was murdered and in order to cover it up, the murderer kills an innocent bystander."

"But Raglan wasn't an innocent bystander in your mother's case. The people associated with that case all had a part to play. Rebecca O'Leary was just too curious about the wrong case, that's all."

Kate took a deep breath. The case they were working on had drained her mentally and physically. She didn't feel that she had a filter anymore, and she was worried of what she would tell Castle. She didn't want to say too much, but her brain felt like it was covered in a fog and she couldn't really discern what was appropriate or not. _Oh hell, _she thought. _Now seems like a good a time as ever._

She took another steadying breath. "I still have nightmares," she said, looking at the blotter on her desk. "When I close my eyes, I can see Raglan getting shot. I see myself shooting Coonan. But sometimes, they're not the ones dying. Sometimes it's me. And sometimes it's…" she trailed off, suddenly scared of what she had said. Kate chanced a look at Rick and knew that he understood exactly what she dreamt.

Seeing the look in Rick's eyes, her fear that she had revealed too much about her personal life came back with a crushing blow. No, wasn't supposed to happen at the precinct. Hell, it wasn't supposed to happen at all. Kate's stomach felt like it was being flooded with ice. Her heart sank to her toes as she watched Castle's face for any kind of reaction.

"Thank you," he said, finally. "For trusting me enough to tell me. And just remember, Detective—"

"Katie," came a voice from behind her. She whipped around to see her boyfriend, looking windswept from a ride on his motorcycle. He was cradling his helmet under his arm.

"Josh," she said, surprised. "What are you doing here?"

"Well you've seemed to be too tied up with work that you couldn't see me, so I came to see you."

"You can't be here," she said, getting up from her chair and marching over to him. In her haste, she failed to see the shell shocked writer she left behind her.

Castle sat in his chair, not moving. He had never felt more furious at anyone than he did at Josh in that moment. He seemed to have the worst timing in the world. Castle was just going to tell Kate that he would answer the phone, no matter what the time and that he would always be there if she needed someone to talk to, but no, perfect Motorcycle Boy had to show up and ruin the moment.

"Why not?" Josh asked, looking around. He saw Ryan and Esposito watching them surreptitiously and Castle still sitting with a blank look on his face.

"I'm at work, and I'm in the middle of a murder investigation. I'm waiting for our killer to come in so we can question him. How many times do I have to tell you not to come to the precinct?" Kate whispered angrily.

"Is it because you're at work, or because you were getting cozy with your Writer Monkey over there?" sneered Josh. He had noticed how the two were looking at each other before he got there. He'd been seeing the signs for a while, but it wasn't as obvious to him that there was more chemistry between Kate and Castle than there ever was between Kate and himself.

"Follow me," Kate whispered harshly, frog marching Josh into the hallway that hardly anyone goes into. It was the most private place in the precinct.

"What was that supposed to mean?" she asked him, staring him down.

"I think you know _exactly_ what it means, Kate."

"No, I don't," she replied. "You're going to have to elaborate."

"Oh please, Kate, I know you're not stupid. What was that back there with Writer Monkey? Huh? You two looked pretty comfortable with each other."

"He's my partner, Josh, nothing else," Kate insisted, finally realizing that she was fighting a losing battle.

"Are you sure about that?"

Kate stopped short. She wanted to deny it to herself – again. But then her mind filtered back to the past couple of days. Oh how much can change over the course of 72 hours. Before Kate was ready, her mind was assaulted with images; Castle bringing her the cupcake, giving her an honest answer when she needed it the most, getting pizza with her, an emotionally charged moment, being patient while she worked through a tough confession, and just being a friend. It was all too much. She felt the wind get knocked out of her when the last image she saw was a clear image of Castle laughing – eyes sparkling, head thrown back and shoulders heaving.

Her thoughts shifted to the man in front of her. Josh. Where to even begin? She opened her heart to him and he still put work before her. Sure, she did it all the time, but she wouldn't have if he had just told her something that he told very few people about. It wasn't fair to her that she handed him her heart and her pain and he still pushed her away. No matter how hard she tried to make it work…no matter that he had not gone to Haiti in order to give them another chance – it wasn't enough. Not this time. She had given him all the chances he deserved. Coming to her workplace was the last straw. She knew exactly what she was going to say to him.

"You silence is enough of an answer," said Josh, breaking her from carefully creating her words to break up with him. "Good bye, Kate. I see I never really had a chance."

He began walking away backwards, watching her, waiting for her to call him back. Kate did, but not to offer him yet another chance. She watched families get closure, yet there were so many things in her life that didn't have closure. This relationship was not going to lengthen the list any more.

"Josh, wait," she called. He stopped short, meeting her eyes. She could see the flicker of hope in his brown eyes, but she knew that she couldn't go back – not now. "We're over."

She watched as the sparkle of hope left his eyes and he ducked his head.

"Why'd you call me back, Kate?" he asked, taking a step towards her.

"I needed closure."

He shook his head and turned around, his back facing her for the first time since he came to the precinct. He walked to the elevator and hardly noticed that every eye was on him as he waiting for the lift.

Castle saw Josh leaving the hallway and counted to ten. He knew Kate needed her time, but he also knew that she needed a friend more than anything. While Kate was with Josh, Castle texted Lanie, letting her know what was going on. He received a short reply: _I'm on my way._  
>He got up slowly from his chair and began to walk to the hallway. He took slow, measured steps, and made sure to step on all the creaky floorboards, so Kate could know that he was coming.<p>

He turned the corner and his heart broke. Kate was seated on one of the cheap plastic chairs, her head in her hands. Her long, wavy hair was blocking her face, but he saw her shoulders moving up and down. He knew she wasn't crying, but he could tell she was breathing deeply, trying to get her bearings.

He didn't say a word as he took a seat next to her. Kate felt the bench move slightly and turned her head to see Castle sitting next to her not saying anything. Just sitting still and being quiet. She smiled wanly at him, not offering the first word. She knew he wouldn't either. Kate needed another minute to gather her thoughts.

Relief. That was the first emotion she felt as she watched Josh walk towards the metal elevator doors. It was over. It was really over. She and Josh were no longer together. She was slightly put off by the fact that it was a complete relief to her; it felt like a weight had been lifted from her shoulders. She let out a bubble of a laugh to herself, thinking about how she didn't realize how much was weighing her down until it was gone. But all she could think was _it's over. It's really over. Josh and I are no longer Josh and me. _

Anger. _Step two_, she mused. She was angry at herself for being so blind that she wasted precious time with someone she knew she didn't have a chance with. She was angry that Josh let her stay so long. She was even angry that Castle hadn't fought harder to have her. She was angry at herself for not seeing what was in front of her sooner. She couldn't quite come to the conclusion that she had feelings for Castle – that was _too_ much for one day, but she could definitely see that her feelings were changing in regards to him.

Helplessness. She hoped it was the last thing she'd feel. She wished that she had someone to lean on. Someone who could be there for her as a friend and as nothing else.

It was as if her prayers were answered. She felt the movement of the bench and looked through the curtain of hair at her partner, sitting, watching her attentively.

"Hey, Castle," she said quietly, pushing the hair behind her ear so she could see him better.

"Hey, Beckett," he answered.

"Look, I'm sorry about that. It was unprofessional for Josh to come here—"

"It's okay," he interrupted. "Don't worry about it. Are you okay?"

She smiled slightly larger. She was glad that he wasn't pressuring her into anything or making any snarky comments about the fact that she was now single. There was no way Josh left and no one realized that they had broken up. He walked through a room of detectives, for crying out loud. She knew that the moment she walked back into the bull pen, everyone would be looking at her differently – with pity. She didn't want their pity.

"Yeah, I'm fine," she said, almost sadly. She wasn't sad she ended things with Josh, but she was feeling numb.

"Liar," Castle answered, nudging her with his elbow. Kate let out a puff of air that could pass as a laugh. "Really," he said again, seriously this time. Serious enough that Kate looked up into his eyes. "Can't have been easy."

"No," she admitted. "It wasn't."

"I'm sorry," he said, aching to take her hand in his, but he knew it was neither the place nor the time.

"It's okay, Castle. Really," she added when she saw his appraising look. "I got closure. For one thing, I finally got closure."

"Was it enough?"

"Enough for now."

**Hello, again! So...I hope you're all singing for joy! After seeing the premiere, Josh just didn't have a place in this story any more. I have little to say about the case itself, other than keep your suspended disbelief.**

**Now, onto what I really want to say:**

**1. I hope you don't think Kate is too out of character when she tells Castle about her nightmares. I thought it worked in this situation because she's already feeling vulnerable from the case and the personal aspect of it. They were talking about it, and telling him about her nightmares seemed like the...natural progression of the scene.**

**2. I hope the break up scene was believable and good. JOSH IS GONE! (From my story and from Castle!) Please give me any feedback you have.**

**3. I tried to justify why Kate suddenly had a change of heart (even though it was me...I had every intention of keeping Josh around for a couple more chapters, but tonights episode kicked that idea to the curb). Please let me know if it's reasonable/makes sense. **

**There, I expect lots of reviews because a) Castle is back and b) Josh is gone. For real. He won't be making another appearance in this story. Well, maybe he will...but only briefly and it will be a hate-on-Josh fiesta. So please review and let me know what you think. I treasure your thoughts and ideas. **

**If you haven't seen Rise...GO SEE IT NOW. Best, mangotango101**

**PS: The actual body of this chapter is longer than any of my other chapters in total.**


	16. Chapter 16

**So this chapter is a little shorter, but I think you can deal with it. Soo...not much to say here, except that the chapter, again, had a mind of its own and decided that the case wasn't going to be wrapped up this chapter. It will be in the first half of the next (I know I said that for the past three chapters or something, but this time I set myself up for finishing it off. I want to get to the fun stuff).**

**I hope you all liked the Castle episode tonight (Heroes and Villains), especially then ending. Aww!**

**Again, this is dedicated to rsg0569 for being stubborn and making me watch _Castle_ and for always being supportive, even when we have our moments. Love ya!**

**Disclaimer: This doesn't belong to me. Anything recognizable belongs to its respective owner. I am not making a profit off of this. No copyright infringement is intended.**

**Chapter 16**

"Where is she?" asked Lanie, barreling through the bull pen. She had gotten a frantic text from Castle saying that Josh had surprised Kate at the precinct.

"Castle just went to talk to her," said Esposito, pointing to the hallway of the precinct.

"Maybe you should let them have a couple minutes," suggested Ryan.

Lanie stopped to think. She didn't want to leave Kate alone longer than necessary, but as the boys had said – Castle was there with her. Against her better judgment, she decided to listen to her boyfriend and her boyfriend's boyfriend. "Fine," she agreed. "In the mean time, tell me what happened."

"Beckett and Castle were having one of their eye sex moments, and it looked pretty serious," began Ryan. He was smiling broadly, hoping that they would finally get together. "Castle opened his mouth to say something and then Josh comes in and surprises Beckett."

"Imma smack him," cried Lanie.

"Trust me, we wanted to as well. Beckett _hates_ being surprised," agreed Esposito.

"And for good reason," Lanie said in her sassy way. "Anyway…"

"So then Beckett sorta whisper-yells at him and dragged him into that hall," Ryan continued, pointing to the corridor where Castle and Kate were. "We heard muffled voices, but they weren't being loud enough to make out what was being said. Castle texted you as soon as they left."

"I know. I got here as soon as I could. I had to scrub out though…I was just cutting open a certain Mr. Florn. What?" Lanie added defensively when she saw the look on their faces.

"Is he still, you know, open?" asked Ryan, looking disgusted.

"Well it's not like I had much warning."

"Anyway," Esposito continued, elbowing his partner. "They were there for about five minutes, and Castle has been there for about fifteen."

"You think she'll be okay?" asked Ryan. Esposito and Lanie gave him an incredulous look. "What? They were together for almost a year."

"Says the one who was just commenting on their 'eye sex,'" Lanie said sarcastically.

"Lanie," came a voice from behind her. She turned and saw a disheveled Castle appearing from the hall. They all unconsciously deflated when they didn't see Kate coming out after him.

"Is she okay?" Lanie asked, rushing to Castle.

"I don't know. Alexis just called and she needs me at home. Can you please go and talk to her?"

"Of course, that's why you called me, isn't it?" Lanie joked, patting Castle on the arm. "Go take care of your daughter. I'll take care of Kate."

Lanie rushed off to the hallway and her heart nearly broke when she saw Kate's broken form on the chairs. She could tell that Kate was trying to be strong, but failing. She could also tell that it was more than the breakup that was warranting this behavior. What with the unsubtle, mutual sexual tension between Kate and Castle, it was hard for Lanie to believe that Kate would be _this_ upset over breaking up with Josh. No, there was something more here, and Lanie needed to help her friend.

She went to the plastic chairs and took a seat. She placed a gentle arm around Kate's shoulders, and Kate leaned into her best friend, even though it was quite uncharacteristic of her. But hey, breaking down in the precinct was pretty unusual as well.

"Hey baby, you want to talk about it?" Lanie asked, stroking Kate's hair. Kate didn't say anything. She just took a deep breath and let Lanie comfort her; Kate finally relinquished control for a few minutes.

* * *

><p>"<em>Was it enough?" Castle asked.<em>

"_Enough for now," Kate answered._

Kate smiled wanly at her best friend. She was touched that he was giving her the space she needed to sort out her feelings. He hadn't made one quip about "Dr. Motorcycle Boy" or made one sexual innuendo. He hadn't made any physical contact or showed any indication that he was going to. For that, she was thankful.

She breathed a sigh of relief – it was finally over with Josh. No more fights, no more dates cut short or cancellations, no more barging into her apartment unannounced, no more saying good bye with a hot night in bed and waking up with the other side cold. She felt liberated and as if a weight had been lifted from her chest. All of her energy could finally be given to the victims and their families.

"Kate?" Castle asked gently. She realized she had been silent for a while. "Do you want to talk about it?"

Kate stayed silent. Castle knew that he shouldn't pry, but he needed to know. He needed to know how he could take some of her hurt away. He needed to know if there was anything he could do. He needed to know if he had a chance.

"You know," he began. "Sometimes when Alexis is upset, the only thing that makes her feel better is to talk about it."

Kate gave him a small smile. "You're just trying to get me to talk about my feelings," she accused, her voice had a joking tone to it.

"No, I just want to help you feel better."

There was a long pause. Kate wanted to tell him. She wanted to tell him why she had broken things with Josh, but she didn't know if it would be appropriate. After all, the reason was mostly because of all the little things Castle had done for her since stopping the bomb…and before. But she couldn't tell him. Not until she was one hundred percent sure herself.

"It wasn't working. He was always away or working, and I was always working." She took a deep breath and Castle didn't push further. "I used to love that about him, Castle," she continued. "That he was always working and saving lives. I felt so proud of him."

"What changed?" Castle asked, his voice hardly above a whisper.

"I don't know," Kate answered truthfully. She didn't know what changed. One day she woke up and realized that the life she had with Josh was not the one that she was looking for. He was not her One and Done. She couldn't see herself waking up beside him every morning for the rest of their lives. She couldn't see having children with him (not that she could see having children with anyone). She couldn't see growing old with him.

It wasn't like a lightning bolt hit her and she realized that Josh wasn't The One, but it happened over a long time. Things piling up that made her see the flaws in him and all the virtues of someone else.

"I really, really liked him. But it wasn't enough," she finally answered. It was the best she could do without bearing her whole soul to Castle.

Kate paused. She didn't know where to go from there. Castle didn't look like he was making any moves to comment on what she said. She didn't know if she could share what was really bothering her. The whole afternoon had turned into an emotional rollercoaster: grief over her mom, gratitude towards Castle, anger at Josh, relief that it was over, anger at herself, and now fear. Fear of what was to come.

Now that she was no longer with Josh, she was scared out of her wits. She wouldn't admit it to herself yet, but she really, really liked Castle, and she knew that it could turn into something that would be enough. But she was afraid. What about his history? She knew now that his playboy image was simply for press, but that didn't stop her from thinking about his two failed marriages. She understood that with Meredith he wanted to give Alexis as normal of a family as he could, and with Gina he wanted to give Alexis a mother, but that still didn't negate the fact that he had been divorced twice. She knew he would never cheat, yet the devil in her kept reminding her of his playboy image and his past.

"I'm afraid," she said.

"Of what?" he asked, hoping she could tell him.

Kate was planning on telling him everything that was in her mind. She had the words on the tip of her tongue. "Of what comes next."

Castle took a deep breath. Was Kate saying that she was scared to make the jump with him? Was she saying that she wanted to dive in?

"What do you mean?" Castle asked, holding his breath. He wanted nothing more than to be able to wrap her in his arms and know that she wouldn't be going anywhere. No more pandas, no more hiding. Just a happy relationship between two best friends who want to be more.

Kate took a deep breath, deciding to take the plunge. "What do I do now?" At the last moment, she bailed. "How can I go back and focus on work?"

Castle let out his breath. He knew inside that she was going to tell him something more substantial than that, but she had stopped herself. He couldn't blame her. He had done the same thing, back in the fall. She had asked why he hadn't called, and he was going to tell her that it was because he didn't know if her feelings had changed since the beginning of the summer. But he, too, backed out at the last moment and told a cover story about why she was in Maya Santori's apartment.

Kate felt awful. She could tell Castle was waiting for answers, and she was ready to give them to her. But of course, her mouth wouldn't cooperate with her brain, and it told some other story about being scared for how to concentrate. Sure, she was worried about it, but she wasn't scared. She had copped out. She missed another chance, and she didn't know how many more chances she'd get.

"I—" Castle began. He was cut off by the shrill ring of "Dad! Dad! Dad! Dad! Dad! Dad!" He jumped and pulled his phone from his pocket. He looked at the caller ID and looked back at Kate with regret in his eyes.

"I'm sorry, it's Alexis. I should take this."

"Of course," she said, looking down and tucking her hair behind her ear. There it was…another chance come and gone.

"Hey Alexis," she heard Castle saying over the phone. "How are you feeling?...Oh no, are you okay?...No, I'll be home as soon as I can. Go rest, I'll be back soon. Love you."

Kate watched Castle as the emotions crossed his face; first joy, then worry, and then love. She watched as he was a dad and marveled at how good he was. Now that she was no longer with Josh, she felt no reason to squash the feelings rising in her stomach. She watched as he tenderly talked to his daughter, and for a moment, she wondered what it would be like to feel that way about her own child. _That_ thought she squelched. It was far too early to think about children. She still had so much she wanted to do before thinking about starting a family.

"I'm sorry," he said, his voice filled with remorse. "I wish I could stay, but Alexis just threw up and I need to be there with her."

"Don't worry, Castle," Kate reassured. "Alexis is more important."

Castle smiled, glad that she understood. It was one of the many things that separated her from all the other women he dated – she understood how precious Alexis was to him and she never tried to come between them. Contrary to popular belief, Castle hadn't really had very many girlfriends. Sure, he had one night with a beautiful woman here and there, but for the most part, it was all image. The reason he didn't stay with anyone long term was because they didn't understand Alexis. They wanted Castle for his money, not for his eccentric family or witty humor. They wanted that platinum card that was nestled in his wallet. But not Kate. Castle knew that Kate saw every facet of him. She had stayed at his house, she had seen him at "work" and she was his muse. Kate knew every part of Castle's life and understood the importance of each piece.

"Thanks. Please tell me you're not going to do more work tonight," he said, holding her gaze. She blinked stupidly for a moment, caught up in his eyes.

"What? No, I think I'm going to go home and take a bath and read a good book," she told him, smiling.

"Kate," Castle began, his voice so serious that it made Kate's heart stop for a moment. "If you need to talk, call. I'll be up."

Kate nodded and Castle stood from the chair and began walking down the hall.

"Castle, wait," she said, appreciating the symmetry between this situation and the one she was in minutes before. He turned his head first and then his whole body, apprehensive of what she would say. "Thank you. For being here and being my friend."

"Always."

He turned the corner and was out of sight. Kate lowered her head to her hands and took a deep breath. She didn't know how much longer she'd be able to keep the feelings hidden from herself, but she hoped that it was long enough to clear her head so she could be on the ball the next day.

* * *

><p>"Kate?" Lanie asked, after holding her friend for a number of minutes. Kate never let go of her control for this long.<p>

"Yeah?" replied Kate, lifting her head from Lanie's shoulder.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"There's not much to talk about," said Kate, already trying to refocus her mind to Detective Beckett mode.

"Girl, Imma smack you. I get a text from Castle saying that Josh is here and I come upstairs and the boys tell me that it looks like you two broke up, and you're telling me that's not much to talk about?" Lanie ranted.

"I just meant that you know everything that I would tell you," defended Kate. It was true. Everything that she would have told Lanie, she had already talked to the ME about.

"So are you saying…?" Lanie trailed off, letting Kate finish the sentence.

"No," Kate began slowly. "I'm just saying, that things have changed now. Things are different."

"M hm," hummed Lanie, raising an eyebrow. "How?"

"I'm not in a relationship anymore."

"I swear to god it is easier to get information out of the corpses on my slab," complained Lanie.

"Lanie, you already know everything."

"Fine, so tell me how it happened."

"Josh came, and I got mad at him, since I was in the middle of a case, and I'd told him explicitly many times not to come to the precinct. Yet he still came. I took him here and we talked a little and I paused too long when he asked me a question, and then he walked away. I called back so I could get some closure. That's all."

"So no fireworks?"

"No."

"No screaming matches?"

"No."

"Nothing interesting?"

"Clearly not," said Kate, already feeling better. Somehow, Lanie knew what to say in these situations.

"Girl, you are so damn boring, I don't know what to do with you."

"And what's that supposed to mean?"

"You have a hot boyfriend and when you break up there's no drama? It's like a boring TV show."

"Great to know that that's how you think of my life," said Kate, raising an eyebrow at her friend.

"You know it's true."

Kate rolled her eyes, but didn't deny it.

"Hey, you wanna grab a beer and some comfort food?" asked Lanie, hoping to pull her friend away from work.

"I kinda just want to go home and relax. I hope you don't mind," said Kate. She felt kind of bad, but she really did just want to be alone.

"Fine, but you're taking a rain check."

"You bet," agreed Kate.

Lanie stood and turned to face Kate. She pulled the latter up and gave her a quick squeeze, knowing that Kate didn't like to be touchy-feely.

"I'm glad Josh is gone," Lanie whispered in Kate's ear as they made their way back to the bull pen.

They rounded the corner, and Kate could tell that all the uniforms and plainclothes were listening intently, waiting for her to get back, because when they reached the bull pen, there was far too much movement than warranted at that hour of the night.

"Hey Beckett," said Esposito, acting as if everything were perfectly normal.

"Hey Esposito. I'm going to head out for tonight. Tomorrow I better have Garfield in the box, okay, boys?" she asked, feeling better now that she was giving out orders.

"You got it, Boss," said Ryan, coming to stand near his partner.

Kate was again amazed at how amazing her team was. They could tell she didn't want to talk, so they did what they did best – solved crimes. Ryan and Esposito knew that Kate needed some sense of normalcy so they plowed through as usual, acting as if nothing had happened.

Kate shrugged on her coat, grabbed her purse, and shut down her computer. She was about to leave for the elevators when Montgomery stopped her.

"Beckett," he said, motioning for her to follow him into his office.

She went inside and closed the door. "Sir, I apologize. It was unprofessional for Josh to show up here, and I promise that this will not affect my ability to close this case."

"Thank you, Beckett, I expect no less. But an apology really isn't needed."

"Excuse me, Sir?" asked Kate, not believing what she was hearing.

"I don't doubt your skills, Beckett, and I know that this was important for you to handle. Keep me posted on the case."

"Of course, Sir," said Kate, still stunned by what Montgomery was saying to her. "Good night, Sir."

"Good night, Detective."

* * *

><p>"Mother, is Alexis okay?" Castle asked frantically as he tore through the door to his loft.<p>

"Yes, she's fine, she's sleeping now."

"Oh thank goodness. I was so worried."

"Really, Richard, she just has a flu, she's not dying," said Martha in her airy tones.

"Thank you, Mother, for that lovely sentiment," Castle told her sarcastically.

"Ah, well, give what you can."

"Uh huh," replied Castle half heartedly. "I'm going to go check on her."

"Don't wake her up."

Castle nodded and dropped his coat and keys on a chair in the dining room. He started up the stairs, making sure not to make too much noise. He reached Alexis' room and slowly opened the door, willing it not to squeak.

He made it in without a sound and took a seat at the rocker where he would sit for hours on end when Alexis was a little girl, and still to this day. He rocked gently back and forth, watching his daughter's breath rise and fall. His mind was brought back to the precinct.

Rick's felt heavy himself when he saw Kate's posture. Everything about her made him love her more. The way that she held herself with dignity even when her world was crashing down before her eyes. The way that she could face a case that brought her back to the darkest moments in her life, yet she could keep a strong face. Her independence and how stoic she was, even when faced with a situation that would bring most people to their knees. He marveled at her ability to be commanding and intimidating, but still keep her sense of femininity. He loved the way she talked and the way she drove him crazy. He knew that she was just pushing his buttons, but usually, he provoked her solely to see the fire in her eyes and the bite of her words. He went out of his way to make her happy and to be her friend, because without her, he was nothing. Without her, he would still be a nine-year-old on a sugar rush, sitting around and watching day time soaps for lack of anything better to do. Now, with her help and guidance, he was a twelve year old boy. He was progressing…slowly, but progressing none the less.

Alexis stirred and Rick was brought back to the present.

"Hey, Pumpkin," Rick said, leaning in to wipe hair off of his daughter's sweaty brow.

"Hi Dad. I hope I didn't interrupt anything important."

Rick was touched by her daughter's ability to be so compassionate, even when she had a raging fever.

"There is nothing more important than taking care of you. So tell me. What's bothering you?"

"Everything hurts. And I feel super nauseas," said Alexis, her voice hoarse.

"I'll get you some meds and I'll be here all night, so if you need anything, just let me know."

"Thanks, Dad. I love you."

"I love you too, Pumpkin," he said, lifting himself from the chair and rushing out to get some Advil and water. He grabbed some Saltines to settle Alexis' stomach. Rick returned to her room with his collection and set it neatly on the night table.

Alexis took some of the medicines and washed them down with a swig of water. She nibbled on a saltine and swallowed.

"Any progress with the case?" Alexis asked faintly, already feeling drowsy from the pills.

"Yes, but I'll tell you about it when you're feeling better."

"'Kay," she said, settling back into the pillows.

"Sleep well, sweetie," Castle said, placing a gentle kiss on her forehead. He cringed at how warm she felt, but was comforted by the fact that there was now medication in her that would bring her fever down.

Rick spent the rest of the night sitting by Alexis' bed, watching her sleep. He was subconsciously waiting for Kate to call him, but he wasn't expecting her to. He hoped, but he wasn't so lucky. Still, that didn't stop him from checking his phone compulsively all night.

* * *

><p>"Morning, boys," said Kate, setting her file on her desk. Other than the carefully hidden bags under her eyes, Kate showed no outward sign of what had happened the night before. Ryan and Esposito understood that there wouldn't be mention of the events, and respected that.<p>

"Garfield is in the wind," said Esposito, coming to Kate's desk.

"What?" she asked, incredulous. "What about his surveillance?"

"Didn't leave him all night. Somehow, when uniforms when to pick him up at his place, he wasn't there. We put out an APB about an hour ago, and we have uniforms staked at his place."

Kate sighed. Not a great start to the day. "Any hits on anything else?"

"We're just waiting for Garfield," Ryan said, as if curious why Kate had forgotten. "Where's Castle?"

"I don't know. Alexis wasn't feeling well, so I don't know if he's home with her."

Ryan nodded in recognition and returned to his desk to continue making his paperclip chain.

"Morning," called Castle from across the floor. He had just arrived, since there was a longer line at the coffee house than usual.

"Hey Castle," Kate said, smiling at her partner. "How's Alexis?"

"She's fine. It must have been one of those twenty four hour things, because she woke up this morning perfectly fine. I gave her the morning off from school and told her to call if she felt any worse."

"I'm glad to hear she's feeling better," said Kate, taking a sip of the coffee. She inhaled deeply at the sweet scent of the vanilla.

"Why Detective Beckett, I had no idea you cared so much for my daughter's well being," Castle said, feigning surprise.

Kate rolled her eyes, but answered him anyway. "Well for one thing, you're daughter is lovely and I wouldn't want her to be sick. Secondly, whenever she's not feeling well, then you get all sulky, and it's annoying to watch you mope all day."

"You sure know how to ruin the mood," he joked.

"Please," she scoffed, turning back to her computer.

"So where are we?" he asked.

"Garfield's in the wind, but the boys put out an APB, so we're waiting on that. In the mean time, I'm going to get a head start on some of this paper work."

"Remember, Detective, if you get bored, you're welcome to play my _Angry Birds_," he said, wiggling the phone in front of her face.

"In your dreams, Castle," she replied, picking up a pen and opening the file.

The morning was slow. Garfield didn't show up at his apartment, he didn't try to leave town, nor did he withdraw any money from his bank accounts. The hours crept by while Kate did menial paperwork. If she didn't release some of the pent up tension in her, she'd take the gun in her drawer and shoot herself.

"Okay, I'm going to go to the gym. Call me if anything turns up," she announced, grabbing her phone and began walking up the stairs.

"Can I come?" Castle asked as a joke.

"You wish," she called back.

* * *

><p>Two hours later, Kate had returned, in clean clothes and her hair damp from the shower. "Still nothing?" she asked, hoping something came up.<p>

"Not yet," said Esposito. "Man, it's as if this guy planned on running. He's got all his bases covered."

"Maybe not," Ryan added, walking swiftly to Kate's desk where they were all congregated. "There was a hit on the APB. A cabbie just dropped off Garfield at One Hundredth and Riverside."

"He's going after Faolan. We have to get there," Kate sais urgently, grabbing her coat, gun and badge. The foursome went quickly from the precinct and zipped through town. Both unmarked used their gumballs, but that only sped things up slightly – New York was still New York.

"Come on," Kate muttered, waiting for the cars in front of her to clear so she could pass. "Come on."

"Kate, take a deep breath," instructed Castle. "It's going to be okay."

"I can't let someone else die, Castle," said Kate harshly. "Enough innocent people have been killed. This guy killed three people, and he's about to make it four if we don't get there soon."

"Breathe," Castle reminded her. Kate took a deep breath and cleared her mind. She was no use to anyone if she was too riled up.

The traffic finally cleared and her unmarked could finally cut through. After that bottle neck, it was clear sailing for most of the rest of the way. Kate and Castle met up with Ryan and Esposito at the door of the building.

She stepped from the car and cocked her gun. She watched as they all Velcro-ed their vests and spoke as they approached the entrance. "Okay, we're going to do this quickly and bloodless, got it?" she asked. The team nodded. "Castle, stay behind us."

They ran into the building and grabbed the elevator. Since Garfield didn't know they were coming, they wouldn't get trapped in it, and running up twelve flights of stairs was a sure fire way of getting tired out before the take down.

The elevator _ding_ed and the team stepped out. Kate nodded to Ryan who stood at the other side of the door. She motioned to Esposito who kicked the door open with one easy kick.

"NYPD, nobody move!" Ryan and Esposito yelled, holding their guns at the ready, fanning out to find the two men.

"Mr. O'Leary?" Kate called, her gun poised.

"In here," came a weak voice. Kate nodded towards the hallway and saw an open door at the end of it. The carpet was a horrid green color, but it masked the sound of their footsteps well.

"Shh," they heard someone say frantically.

Kate motioned towards the door and she went barreling through, her team mates flanking her on all sides.

"Garfield, put your hands in the air!" she yelled, pointing her gun at the worker.

"Lower your weapon, or he dies," Garfield said, holding Faolan in a vice like grip around the throat.

"You're only making things worse for yourself. Let Mr. O'Leary go and put your hand in the air," Kate tired again.

Garfield pointed the gun at Kate, still holding O'Leary. "If you don't drop it, I'll drop you."

"You're not in much of a position to be making deals, Garfield," Kate said.

"I have control. If I didn't, why wouldn't you have shot me already?" challenged Garfield.

"Because you deserve something much worse than death," Kate responded, her voice and cold and hard as ice. Castle felt a shiver run down his spine. It was at times like these when Castle was reminded just how lethal Kate could be.

"I don't think so. Lower your gun, and I will lower mine."

"Not a chance, Garfield. Esposito, now," cried Kate, knowing Esposito knew exactly what he was supposed to do.

The element of surprise gave Esposito the advantage he needed. He ran towards Garfield, holstering his gun on the way. He stepped on the worker's foot and punched him in the gut. Garfield lessened his hold on O'Leary enough that Esposito could wrench the offender's arm from Faolan's neck and pull it behind Garfield. The latter was grunting in pain and tried to move.

Kate holstered her gun and pulled out her cuffs. She stood behind Garfield and slapped the cuffs on him. Her voice was as cold as ice and her grip as strong as steel.

"Henry Garfield, you are under arrest for the murder of George Tye, Mortimer Killingsworth, and Rebecca O'Leary."

**Why hello again! Before I start prattling on, I would like to ask you to leave me a review. I will respond, and I would love to know what you think. Now onto what I would like to say...**

**1. I hope you think all the conversations are in character. I had to find a balance between vulnerable Kate and just out of character Kate, and I hope that I did. If not, please let me know and I will probably change it.**

**2. I had a lot of fun writing the Castle/Alexis scene, even though it's small. I thought it would be better then reading yet another chapter of Kate in a bathtub, reading Castle's books. ; )**

**3. Last thing: Hope the take down wasn't too confusing - again, I could see the scene really clearly because I know the layout of the apartment, but it's not important. The important thing is that they (finally) arrested him.**

**Have a great night, and a great week. Thank you for your kind words and all the encouragement that you've given me. I am forever in your debt. Best, Mangotango101**


	17. Chapter 17

**Another short one, I apologize! This might become the new length, based on how much time I have to devote to this. As you can see, I'm a day late. I again, apologize. Life got in the way last night, and I fell asleep at my keyboard. I took that as a sign that I should go to sleep. That being said...updates will still most likely be Monday nights, although don't be weirded out if they come on Tuesday. I'm going out of town next weekend, so I'll do my best to get one up on Monday, but it might be Tuesday.**

**Next: Head Case - SUPER CREEPY. It's still giving me the heebie jeebies. Haha. Anyway - Can't wait for next week!**

**The case is finally finished up, so I hope I did it justice (pun intended). Please leave me feedback, because I'd love to know what you thought of this chapter.**

**This is dedicated to rsg0569 who tried valiantly to get me to watch _Castle_ and finally succeeded. Miss you already! (PS: Anything you have to say...REVIEW! You know what I mean...)**

**Disclaimer: This is not mine. _Castle_ and everything affiliated with it belongs to Andrew W. Marlowe, ABC Studios, and whoever actually owns Castle. Though this story is the length of a novel, I am NOT making money off of it. Please do not sue me. No copyright infringement in intended.**

**Chapter 17**

"Where'd you get him?" asked Montgomery. The team was in Observation watching Garfield sit stoically.

"He was at O'Leary's trying to kill the husband," answered Kate, her voice laced with contempt. This man had played on her emotions and made her feel weak for falling for it.

"How could he murder three people and attempt to kill another without the blinking?" asked Esposito

"Some people are just psychopaths," Ryan said, shrugging. "But this guy is…" he trailed off, to knowing how to even finish his sentence.

"Get a confession out of him; he doesn't need to be let out on the streets in twenty years," Montgomery said, turning back to the one-way mirror.

Kate nodded resolutely. She would get him to confess – she would stay in the box all day if she had to.

"Come on Castle, let's break this son of a bitch," she said, heading for the door.

"Kate," said Castle, calling her back. She turned. The boys realized that Castle wanted to speak to her privately, so they exited silently, trying to be subtle about it, but failing miserably.

"Castle, I don't have time to think about yesterday," she said exasperated, jumping to conclusions. Kate had finally managed to clear her head earlier in the gym, and the last thing she needed was a cluttered mind.

"Kate," Castle said again. "You're going to break him. I know you are."

"Why are you telling me this?" she asked, still frustrated that he had broken her concentration.

"Because I know that you were thinking about it all last night," he told her. Somewhere deep inside him, he knew that he might be crossing the line, but he needed Kate to know that he was going to be with her in the box every step of the way. Kate opened her mouth to protest, but Castle cut her off. "I know that you tried to put what happened between you and Josh on the back burner, but that only let you think about how Garfield deceived you."

Kate faltered. She didn't know what she was expecting, but it wasn't that. He was opening a topic that she did not want to talk about until Garfield was in jail. She took a deep breath to brush Castle's comment off, but in a moment of weakness, she answered him. "But what if I don't, Castle? What if I fail him like I failed my mother with Dick Coonan?"

"You didn't fail her, Kate. You caught him in the end."

"Then what about Lockwood? I go there every week and he still hasn't budged." Kate was doing her best to keep it together, but she was losing it quickly. Just thinking about everything concerning her mother's case made her blood boil and her eyes burn with unshed tears. She didn't want to lose control right before she would be interrogating a triple killer…she couldn't. Kate was angry at Castle for bringing the topic up. She had been in control. She had pushed all thoughts and feelings to the back of her mind, but as always, Castle had managed to find a way to break down all of her walls and bring out emotions that she didn't know she could have while in the precinct.

"Kate," Castle said, sensing that Kate was about to fall into a downward spiral. "This isn't your mother's case," he told her trying to reel her back in. "You're going to get him to break. He's going to confess and he's going to go away for life."

"Castle, this guy tricked all of us, killed three people and tried to kill another. Other than being deranged, he's obviously smart."

"But so are you. If anyone can get him to talk, you can."

"Just stop, Castle," she said angrily, focusing all of the bad energy associated with her mother's murder into her anger at Castle. If she could get out the emotions through anger, then she could take that with her when she went to face off with Garfield. "I was doing _fin__e _and you have to go and dredge up everything that I spent all night pushing down. I need to be focused, and you're doing nothing to help that."

"But Kate—" Castle said.

"Not now. Let's go, get a confession, and then—"

"And then what? Run away again?"

Kate stopped dead in her thought and looked at Castle. "What's that supposed to mean?" she asked, slowly walking towards Castle, her eyes piercing him like swords. Castle knew that he had crossed a line.

"Nothing. Let's go," he said, doing his best to avoid a catastrophe. Some friend he was being. He ducked his head and walked purposefully to the door.

Kate watched him go, staring motionless as she tried to comprehend what had just happened. Somewhere deep down, she knew that Castle was just trying to be a good friend and to help her, but on the surface she was boiling with anger. After being so supportive the day before, he just turns on her and begins criticizing her character? That wasn't the Castle she knew.

Kate shook her head. She took a deep breath, ridding her mind of anything not directly connected to breaking Garfield. She channeled all her anger at Castle to anger at Garfield. She would go in there with her Detective Beckett mask on, and nothing was going to derail her.

* * *

><p>Kate left the Observation room and found Castle waiting by the door to the Interrogation room.<p>

"We are not done discussing this," she hissed as she yanked the door open.

"Do you know how long I have been waiting, Detective?" Garfield asked the moment she walked in. Kate saw that he was trying to gain control of the situation, but that would not fly with her.

"Not really your place to be asking," she said, slamming her file down onto the steel table. She opted out of sitting, forcing Garfield to look up if he wanted to make eye contact. Castle leaned causally against the doorjamb, feigning boredom. It was a good act – one that Kate used occasionally as well. "You declined legal counsel."

"Isn't necessary."

"Oh really? Then you better speak very carefully, Mr. Garfield."

"I don't know what you're talking about."

"Maybe this will refresh your memory," said Kate, slamming a picture of George Tye on the table, leaning in towards Garfield, invading his personal space. "Remember him? You _best friend_?" Kate asked, pointing at the crumpled body covered in blood.

"I told you about that already. I was as shocked as everyone else. I didn't go to work for a month." Garfield paused, taking a breath, trying to collect himself. He planned the next words carefully, because he knew that they had to achieve their goal or else he was a lost cause. "Five years, Detective. Five years since I stood on that scaffolding watching my coworker – my friend – plummet to his death, and every time I get on the scaffolding I think of that moment."

Kate froze. She felt as though someone had poured ice through her veins. She remembered saying nearly those exact words to Castle a year ago when she was watching Coonan through the glass. He must have had some inside ears, or how else would he know what she said? Clearly this guy knew more about her than she thought. As soon as that thought left her mind, she was consumed with rage, again, for letting this dirt bag criminal get under her skin again. It was like she didn't know who she was anymore.

Garfield smiled, knowing that his comment had hit straight home. Ever since he had found out about her mother, and that Beckett would be working his case, he had done everything in his power to get every detail he could that could help derail their investigation.

Castle could sense that Kate was freezing up and decided to jump in, attempting to regain the control. It hurt him to see how personally she was taking the case, and he wished that he had never tried to talk to her before. Castle didn't truly regret much when it came to Kate Beckett, but getting her angry right before this interrogation was one of them.

Before Castle could say anything, there was a knock at the door. He looked at Kate who snapped from her reverie. She looked apprehensive as to who was at the door.

"Detective Beckett, may I speak with you for a moment?" asked Montgomery, poking his head into the interrogation room.

Kate nodded and glared at Garfield once more before following the captain out of the interrogation. She followed Montgomery into his office, and was about the shut the door when Castle slipped in.

"Kate, I've told you this many times, but you're one of the best I've ever seen. I have Ryan and Esposito running down how he knew what he does about your mother's case. But right now, I need to know whether you can continue this interrogation."

Kate looked out the window. She wished that she could walk away as easily as she did a year ago, but this was different. It wasn't her case – there were two, maybe three, other families who were waiting for justice. She couldn't deprive them of that just because she was having a lot more trouble compartmentalizing than usual.

"Yes, Sir. I can."

"Good. I'm glad to hear it. Now I want you to get back in there and fly straight. Don't try to trick him…just lay the facts on the table."

Kate was uplifted by the Captain's advice. Even after all these years, he still was her mentor and he still guided her through tough times. "Yes Sir, thank you, Sir."

Kate turned and began to make her way back to the interrogation room.

"Hey," said Castle, trailing behind her. "You okay?"

She stopped and turned to face him. "Yeah. Now let's go nail the bastard."

* * *

><p>Kate marched into the interrogation room with an air of confidence and total control. She was going to power through and hit him with every piece of evidence she had.<p>

"Why'd you kill George Tye five years ago?" she asked without preamble.

"What? I didn't kill him. He fell," protested Garfield.

_Good_, Kate thought. _Put him on the defense_. Kate raised her eye brow, not buying his plea. "I was _crushed_ when he died," Garfield continued.

"Oh, not a great choice of words," said Castle in his usual joking fashion. Garfield looked at Castle like he was crazy.

"Detective," Garfield said, staring up into Kate's hard, green eyes. "I loved Georgie like a brother. How could I kill him?"

"There are hundreds of reasons why, but I want to know yours."

"You don't even have proof that I was the one who did it."

"Then why did we find handprints on Mr. Tye's body, and seeing as the other person who was on the scaffolding with him is _dead_, then you're our best guess."

"What?" asked Garfield, looking confused.

"Cut the crap, Garfield," Castle butt in. He pushed himself off of the doorjamb and walked over to stand next to Kate. "We know that you pushed George Tye off the scaffolding. Our question is why."

"So you have handprints, that doesn't prove anything." Garfield uncrossed his arms and leaned towards the table, attempting to take an offensive stance.

"Well then you'd better think again. Look closely at this picture," she said, pointing to the crime scene. Even though Tye was the focus, two figures could be made out on the scaffolding above. "There are two people on the scaffolding where Tye fell from. One is you and the other is Mortimer Killingsworth. Mr. Killingsworth was murdered, and that makes you look pretty guilty."

"You can't prove I pushed Georgie," Garfield said again, crossing his arms.

Castle pushed himself from the doorjamb and walked over to where Kate was leaned over Garfield. He reached around her arm for a paper in her file and Kate could feel Castle's presence. It unnerved her, but she wouldn't let it conquer her. Not now.

"I think I can," began Castle, pulling out a single sheet of paper. "I have your medical records. Let's have a look, shall we?" Castle didn't give Garfield time to respond. "In 2005, you went to your doctor with itchy feet—"

"Those are my private medical documents. You have no right to have those," cried Garfield.

"You are a suspect in a triple murder. It wasn't hard to sway the DA," explained Kate, only lying slightly – it had been very hard to get his medical records.

"For your itchy feet," Castle continued. "Your doctor gave you prescription cream which was an anti fungus. You had traces of it on your hands from when you put it on in the morning. When you pushed Tye off of the scaffolding, you transferred some of it to his skin."

"We exhumed his body. The fungus grew everywhere, but it was lighter in a specific hand print."

"How does this prove that I killed Morty?"

"Are you denying that you killed George Tye five years ago?"

"No!"

"No, you're not denying it?" asked Castle, raising his eyebrow.

_Got you, son of a bitch_ thought Kate.

"What? No, I didn't kill him!"

"We asked you if you were denying it and you said no. Strike one," said Kate, falling back on the old baseball metaphor.

"Let's see if you can strike out," added Castle.

"No, I didn't kill Georgie," Garfield continued to protest.

"Too late, Garfield. Now tell us why you killed Mr. Killingsworth? To cover up your crime, or was it something more?"

"I didn't murder either of them."

Kate shook her head. She straightened up and began pacing around the room. "Here's what I think. You pushed Tye off the scaffolding, and all the while Killingsworth suspected you. He got a little too close to the truth, so you fell back on your tried and true 'make it look like an accident' MO."

"You have it all wrong," pleaded Garfield. "Georgie began to fall and I grabbed him, hoping to save him, but he slipped. Morty saw and thought that I had pushed him. He approached me about it soon after, but we sorted it out. I convinced him that I didn't murder Georgie."

There was a knock on the door again. Kate rolled her eyes in frustration. At this pace, they would never get Garfield to confess to all three murders. So far, they had him on Tye, but they still needed two more.

"Beckett?" asked Ryan, sticking his head in.

"Don't move," Kate told Garfield as she stalked to the door with Castle close behind.

* * *

><p>"What is it, Ryan?" she asked exasperated.<p>

"We finally traced that number on Killingsworth's burner phone. It was another burner phone. We got in touch with the carrier, and it was billed to Rebecca O'Leary."

"So that's the last bit of our puzzle," Kate said, turning to Castle, momentarily forgetting about their argument. "Garfield convinced Killingsworth that it was an accident, and Killingsworth is satisfied for the moment."

"Killingsworth starts second guessing himself and looks to get in touch with the man who investigated the murder," Castle joined in.

"He called Brion, but O'Leary must have picked up."

"They started talking, and O'Leary uses her resources as a family member to learn more about it."

"They were communicating by burner phone, so Garfield wouldn't know they were still doubting him."

"Garfield must have overheard a conversation and decided to take matters into his own hands."

"So if you two are done…" Ryan said, a smile playing at his lips. Kate and Castle simultaneously turned their heads to face the other detective. "We also found that Garfield is pretty friendly with Officer Matthews."

"How does he know him?" asked Kate. Officer Mike Matthews was a fairly new uniform on the homicide team. He had only been with the Twelfth for about a year and a half.

"Apparently," began Ryan, handing over a file. "Officer Matthews used to be a beat cop around where Garfield worked, and he would stop and talk to the workers. Matthews has been keeping up with Garfield ever since."

"Great," said Kate. She really didn't want to deal with another rookie uniform looking for the glory. "Can you and Esposito talk to him?"

"Sure thing. How are you doing in there?" asked Ryan, nodding his head towards the interrogation room door.

"All right. We got him to confess to one murder, and this will make the other two easier," Kate informed him.

"Good luck. Esposito and I will talk to Officer Matthews."

"Thanks."

Kate and Castle went back to the interrogation room and pushed opened the doors once more.

"What is it, Detective? Second guessing yourself?" sneered Garfield as she reentered.

That was why Kate didn't want to keep leaving the interrogation room – it gave off an air of being uncertain.

"Quite the opposite, actually. Do you know what these are?" she asked, placing Killingsworth's phone records on the table in front of him.

"It looks like a phone record," he said.

"That's because it is. This number," she pointed to the number at the top of the page, "is Mortimer Killingsworth's."

"No," said Garfield. "I know his number by heart. This isn't it."

"That's because this is a burner phone. Now why would he have one of those?" Castle chimed in.

"I don't know…phone sex?"

"Really? You're going to go with _phone sex_?" asked Castle, incredulous.

"Well since you guys are accusing me of three murders I didn't commit, yes, I'm going with phone sex."

"That argument doesn't even make sense."

"Castle, focus," hissed Kate quietly, trying to reel Castle back in. She turned back to Garfield. "How many numbers did he call?"

"One."

"Great, you finally got one right. Do you know who this belongs to?"

"No."

"Rebecca O'Leary. The woman you shot in an alley."

"I don't understand," said Garfield.

"Of course you don't. Let me explain," said Kate, pacing again. "You convinced Killingsworth that Tye's murder was an accident—"

"Which is _was_!" interrupted Garfield.

"Do not interrupt me, Mr. Garfield. You told your friend that it was an accident, but he didn't believe you. He accepted it because he had no other choice, but as time went by, the feeling grew in side of him. He eventually made contact with the man who published the article. The man who knew as much as the police. Brion Fitzpatrick. Do you know who his sister was?"

Garfield shook his head.

"Rebecca O'Leary."

"So?"

"They were two pains in the ass who kept coming a little too close to the truth. You already admitted that you killed Tye, and so this was just a way to cover it up. You killed both of them to hide that you really did push your best friend."

"Why would I do that, Detective?"

"You tell me."

"Actually, I'd like to hear what you think."

"Sure," said Castle. "I think that Tye used to be your friend, but lately he had been annoying you. Little things. Arrogance, self-centered, small things that you had no control over, but that annoyed you more than you could imagine. After he got sick, it was all about him. The only thing anyone ever talked about was whether he was okay going up to the scaffolding or not. No matter how hard you tried, he always one-upped you. So one day, you saw your chance. You saw that his harness wasn't secured correctly and you pushed him. A pure crime of passion."

"What a lovely story, Mr. Castle, but sadly, that is all conjecture. You have no proof."

"We have an affidavit from your foreman saying how you spoke and looked at Tye in the weeks leading up to his death."

Garfield was silent. Kate's phone buzzed and she saw that she had a text from CSU. Garfield's silence told her that it was almost time to go in for the kill, and she had a feeling that this text would do just the thing.

"That was CSU," said Kate, making a show of reading her phone. "Uniforms were at your apartment looking for the clothes worn by O'Leary's killer. They found the same red sweatshirt. Clever wearing red…I assume you thought it would mask the color of blood better? Well you're wrong. No matter how many times you tried to wash it, there would still be blood in the fibers. Preliminary tests came back on it. It's a match to O'Leary's. So tell me, Garfield, why is her blood on your sweatshirt?"

"You have no idea what it was like," Garfield began.

Kate breathed a sigh of relief that he was finally talking. She hated this part. She hated listening to criminals tell why they killed a person; it wasn't right. Yet, it gave her a sense of accomplishment. Not joy or victory, just accomplishment.

Garfield was silent, clearly trying to decide how to phrase what he would say. "We used to be so close. We'd do everything together. Then one day something changed. Suddenly, everything he did annoyed me. Everything that he said made me want to scream. Working with him every day was a nightmare. Then it happened. He got sick and I got to see what it was like to work without him. Then he came back. I knew I couldn't quit. I had a child on the way and I needed the money. I saw the carabineer on his harness wasn't screwed completely and I didn't even comprehend that it could happen until he was falling.

"I couldn't let Morty know what I had done. I immediately began to play it up as an accident. I took the month off to clear my head. I was glad when I came back and Morty seemed to have understood that it was an accident. Then a couple weeks ago he started asking me questions about it again. I panicked and started watching him closely. I overheard a bit of a phone conversation and I knew that he was looking into Georgie's death. I couldn't let him expose me.

"Then I heard about the accountant and knew that I had one last loose end to tie up. I watched her for a couple days trying to figure out her schedule. Then, it was like I was in a trance. I snuck up on her and _boom_…I pulled the trigger. She crumpled and I walked away."

"Now tell me, what's your relationship with Officer Mike Matthews?" asked Kate, after a moment. She comprehended what she had heard. The whole confession was good to hear, and she was glad that he broke, but she was still disgusted with him. At this point, she would usually turn them over the holding, but she knew that she needed to ask him this one more question.

Garfield was already so vulnerable that he just kept talking, as if he had to get it all off of his chest.

"I met Mike when he was guarding one of our work sites. We talked on my breaks and I really liked him. We kept in touch, and then one day, he didn't show. I asked where he was, and they said that he was promoted to a uniform for the Twelfth precinct in the homicide division. I was happy for him, but I missed talking. I found him, and sometimes we'd go out for a beer and a burger.

When I first found out that it was you, Detective Beckett, who was in charge of Morty's case, I immediately called Mike. I wanted to know how I could keep you away from learning the truth. He gave me all this information that I could use against you."

"You're future doesn't look bright, Garfield," Kate said, her voice tight with emotion.

Garfield hung his head. He didn't say anymore, but Kate could see the remorse in his eye. Unfortunately, remorse wouldn't get him very far in front of a grand jury.

Kate took her file and strode to the door. "See you in court," she said as she opened the door. She motioned for the uniform to come in and bring him to a holding cell.

Castle followed Kate back to her desk where she sat down and placed her head in her hands, her long brown hair covering her face. He could see her take a deep breath.

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah."

* * *

><p>"Great job. All of you. I'm very impressed," said Captain Montgomery later that night. They were seated around their favorite table at the Old Haunt, talking about the case they had just closed, as well as basking in the glow of solving a murder.<p>

After Garfield had been taken away, Kate filled out some preliminary paper work. She didn't work for long before Montgomery and her other team members came to her desk.

"_Great job in the box, Beckett," Esposito said, smiling broadly. Even though the future looked bleak for Garfield, it was always nice to know that they closed a case and could give the families the justice they deserved._

"_Yeah, that was impressive. He was a hard nut to crack," added Ryan._

"_Thanks," she answered, tucking a lock of hair behind her ear._

"_So who's up for the Old Haunt to celebrate another two cases closed for the precinct?" asked Castle, turning to the boys standing around the desk._

"_I'm in," said Esposito._

"_Definitely. I found a new way that will get us there in seven and a half minutes," Ryan said._

"_Always looking for a faster way, aren't you?" Castle asked, smiling._

"_I…um…" Ryan trailed off. Castle cringed when he realized what he had said. Kate rolled her eyes at Castle's inappropriate mind._

"_Beckett, you in?" he asked, turning to her. She looked up to see four expectant faces looking back at her._

"_Why not?"_

"_Great!" said Castle with the glee of a little boy. "I'll call Lanie. Meet you there?"_

"_Yeah. I'll pick her up on my way."_

"Thank you, Sir," said Kate, tearing herself from the memory. "It was a crazy case. I'm glad it's over."

"Same here," said Ryan. "That was weird even by our standards."

They all laughed and _clink_ed their glasses in recognition. Each took a drink and relaxed into easy conversation that was littered with old case anecdotes and wedding plans for Ryan.

"Castle, can I talk to you?" Kate asked in an undertone. She wanted to discuss the argument that she and Castle had had before. It wasn't sitting well with her, and now that the case was over, she felt that she could deal with her feelings in a more productive and controlled manner.

"Sure."

The pair got up, much to the surprise of the others. They ignored them and Castle led Kate to the basement office. He rarely went down there since he dealt with all the financial aspects of the bar at his loft. He converted the desks to a lounge for the employees when they were off duty. It had a simple shag rug, ratty old furniture, and an old stereo system. It looked like the room belonged in a previous decade. There was quiet music playing, but not any of the music made recently – they were all old jazz tunes that might have been played in a dance club during the Roaring Twenties. The entire room liked like it came straight from an old film about the Jazz Age.

"What's up?" asked Castle, taking a seat on one of the couches. Kate took a seat in an old armchair and turned to face him. She looked down and fiddled with her hands, not really sure where to begin.

"Listen, I'm really sorry about earlier today. I was just really anxious and on edge because of the case, and—"

"Don't worry, Beckett," reassured Castle. "All of our emotions were running high. I'm sorry I overstepped, and I promise it won't happen again. I told you I would be your friend, and that doesn't include yelling at you."

Kate smiled, glad that the sweet Castle was back, but it unnerved her how easily he could be swayed one way or the other. "No, I need someone who will be honest with me. But what did you mean when you asked if I was going to run again?" she asked, already knowing the answer.

"I think you know the answer," said Castle, voicing her thoughts.

"Castle, I'm not ready for this," she said, fiddling with a loose hangnail.

Castle's head snapped up. Whatever he was expecting Kate to say, it was _not _that. He didn't think that he was implying that they should get together, and it struck him that maybe that's what Kate had been thinking all along.

"What?" he asked weakly.

Kate took a deep breath. Maybe that's not what Castle meant when he said she was running, but she couldn't think of anything else. Maybe he was just making a generalization about her character, but she thought she could see some underlying meaning in that.

"I mean…I just got out of a relationship…a serious relationship…I'm not ready to begin another," she stuttered.

"I wasn't implying that. I just meant that you should stop running from your emotions. I know you're still hurting over your mother's murder…I would be too. I would never _stop_ hurting, even if the bastard was caught, but I just think that you should stop running from what you feel. Let other people in, Kate." He looked into her eyes, trying to gauge her reaction. He didn't want to upset her further, but this was as good a time as any to have this conversation. "Upstairs, you have four people who would go to the ends of the earth for you, and I know there are others. Maybe you don't see it, but it's true. You have a family now. Here. With us."

Kate felt tears welling in her eyes. No one had every spoken so elegantly and so truthful to her. She knew that _she _felt as though they were family at the 12th, but she was never told if anyone else ever felt the same way. It was comforting to know that she wasn't the only one.

Castle again had gone above and beyond what she needed. After a case of this caliber, Kate usually curled up in bed with one of Castle's books and a glass of wine. Sometime she'd stare off into space thinking about humanity, but mostly she let herself get lost in the worlds that Castle's created. Now that he was in her life, she has had to do that less and less. After a long day, she would say good night to Castle, and it would be easier to face the cold, empty apartment. No matter how hard she tried to deny it, Castle had become an integral part of her life and she didn't know what she would do if it were taken away from her.

"Thanks, Castle," she said thickly. She hadn't cried when she broke up with Josh and she wasn't going to cry now. Maybe when she got home, when she was in the shower so no one could see her tears or hear her cries, but not here. Not in the Old Haunt with her family upstairs.

"Always," he said, reaching for her hands. It was the first time he had touched her since she broke up with Josh. It was also the second time he had said 'Always' to her in two days. That was more than they had ever used the word. Apparently, the past two days had been a crazy whirlwind of emotions that called for special uses of their special word.

Kate felt her hands tingling where Castle was holding them. She loved the way they felt warm on hers and how big they were. She had long, dainty fingers, but his hand could still envelope hers easily. His fingertips were calloused from typing for years, but his palms were smoother than she could have imagined. She inspected his fingernails – neatly clipped to half circles, no cuticles or hangnails she could see. They were strong hands. They were the hands that got her through her mother's murder. And here they were, helping her through again.

Kate looked up into his eyes and got lost in their deep blue. It was as though she was looking at a window into his soul. He was so vulnerable and open at that moment. His gaze was tender and affectionate, and for a moment, she believed that she might just be ready to dive in together.

**Hi again. First off: THIS IS NOT THE END NOR IS IT EVEN CLOSE TO IT. I have a lot more planned, so please trust me when I say that there will be lots more drama and cute moments in the future. I plan for this story to go on for a long time. Also, please leave me a review - good or bad, I can take it. I really want to know what you think of this.**

**1. I hope the fight makes sense in this context. Also that it was kinda cute and typical Caskett.**

**2. Yes, yes, I stole that idea from _Sucker Punch_, Season 2, Episode 13. I thought it worked...**

**3. Please tell me if the interrogation scene is realistic and believable. That's what I was going for, and I hope that I achieved that. If I did not, please tell me so I can improve.**

**4. Also, please let me know if the whole Castle/Beckett conversation at the end is in character. I really wanted to do it, but I'm not 100% sure about it. **

**That's it for me. I need to go to sleep. Have a great week, and I'll see you in six or seven days! Hope you all enjoy Kick the Ballistics next week! Leave a review - it will make my day. One more thing...thank you to all my readers and anyone who as alerted or favorited this story. You are the reason I write and the reason I stay up until ungodly hours of the night to give you chapters. Much love, Mangotango101**


	18. Chapter 18

**Hello, happy readers! This chapter is in a VERY different format than all my other chapters. I didn't want to jump right into the fundraiser, so I chose this instead. I hope that you like it. I'm worried about how people will react to this, so please leave me a review and let me know what you think.**

**Okay..._Kick the Ballistics_ was SO intense. Oh my goodness, I thought my heart stopped at some points. Just saying. And the promo for next week...I can't wait that long.**

**This chapter is for everyone who reviews, alerted, or favorited this story - I swear, it would not be what it is without your support and kind words.**

**Disclaimer: This is not mine. I made up Reggie and the scenarios, but anything recognizable is not mine (Reggie is _not_ the same Reggie that's in 3x11 - Nikki Heat or 3x22 - To Love and Die in LA). _Castle_ and all the fixings belong to ABC and AWM. I am not making monetary gain from this story, and no copyright infringement is intended.**

**Chapter 18**

Kate sat on a bench overlooking the Hudson River. She watched as a flock of pigeons fought over some crumbs left by an old lady who was sitting a couple benches over. Boats sailed lazily back and forth, carrying cargo and god only knows what else.

It had been a two weeks since her team closed the Killingsworth/O'Leary case and they were still recovering. Sure, they had solved murders since then (they didn't have the highest clearance rating for nothing), but in the back of their minds, they were all thinking about Henry Garfield and how three people lost their lives because he was annoyed. Life in prison didn't seem like enough of a punishment, but there wasn't any more that the DA could do.

Kate had pushed it to the back of her mind, especially since the fundraiser in honor of her mother was three nights away and she had yet to write her speech. She didn't want it to be a sob story about how she lost her mother. She wanted to prove that she had risen above and lived her life. Of course, it took her years to get to that point, but the fact was that she got there. She was leading a successful life and helping to make her city a safer place for everyone.

_But_, thought Kate. _Can I really speak about what I've accomplished even though my mother is dead?_

"You know," came a voice from behind her. "I thought I just might find you here."

Kate didn't need to reach for her gun, because she could tell that voice in a crowd of a million.

"Hey Castle," she said, turning her head to face him as he took a seat beside her on the park bench.

"You look like you're thinking hard," he said, smiling. Kate looked down and tucked a lock of hair behind her ear. "Anything you want to share?"

"I'm just thinking."

"I never would have guessed," he said seriously. She rolled her eyes and laughed at him. He couldn't help but join in. "No, but really…you sure you don't want to talk about it?"

Kate sobered and turned to look at a freight boat that was gliding over the water. How she wished that she could be that boat…knowing exactly where to go and what to do. That boat didn't have to deal with dead parents or emotionally trying jobs. It didn't have to face the worst of humanity every day and still find the strength to get out of bed the next morning. It didn't have feelings that it shouldn't be having for its best friend.

"I just…I don't know what to say," Kate said, deciding to let Castle in. She seemed to be doing that a lot more, recently. She guessed it was her mind's way of telling her that she was ready to be in an open and honest relationship with him. She found it unnerving to be so open with someone. Kate couldn't remember the last person she let so far into her heart before. Then again, Castle _did_ weasel his way in, but she wasn't protesting – at least not a lot. She found that it was comforting in a way to be so close with someone that she could tell him anything. It was a new concept that wasn't all bad.

"Ahh, writer's block," said Castle, bringing Kate back into the present. "A fickle fiend with whom I am very well acquainted."

"No need to be so dramatic," Kate teased. "So tell me, Mr. Writer, what do _you_ do to get over writer's block?"

"Write in a caffeine induced haze."

"Isn't that always?"

"Touché, Detective. No, usually what I do is I write down whatever is in my head. I try to find out what is causing the writer's block, because if I know why I have it, then it's easier to get over it. For instance, in _Storm Warning_, I had Derrick in Port Authority and he had to capture the elusive drug lord before he got onto the subway—"

"Yeah, I know the story," said Kate without thinking.

"See? I knew you were a fan," Castle replied, smiling broadly. "So anyway, I knew that I wanted Storm to get trapped in the air duct, but I didn't know how to get him there. So I opened a new document and I wrote everything I was feeling."

"So you _do_ have a sensitive side," Kate interrupted, pretending to sound surprised.

"Mock all you want, Detective, but I'm telling you. It works. I wrote down all my feelings and then I realized that I couldn't write the scene because I was still feeling the after effects of being closed in a coffin for five hours."

Kate shot Castle an incredulous look, but he was so wrapped up in his story that he didn't notice. It wasn't until a few sentences later when he realized that Kate was staring at him like he was an idiot.

"My story isn't _that_ confusing," he said, his eyebrows raising in question.

"A coffin?" she asked.

"Oh, right, I made a bet with Cannell that I couldn't stay in a coffin for five hours."

"This came up, how?" she asked, still looking at him like he was an imbecile.

"It was during a poker game. We were talking about how far we go for research."

"Uh huh."

"Think whatever you like, but after realizing that I was still feeling a little claustrophobic, I knew why I couldn't write the scene. I took Alexis up to the Hamptons for the weekend and I finished the book. It was just a matter of finding out _what_ was blocking me from writing."

Kate stared pensively at the river, trying to think about what was blocking her from writing the speech. It wasn't the pain that came with remembering her mother – that she dealt with every day. It wasn't her mind being cluttered with thoughts pertaining to Castle – that she boxed up nicely while trying to write. It wasn't her disgust with Henry Garfield – that she pushed aside when she signed the last form officially charging him with triple homicide, breaking and entering, attempted murder, and an aggravated assault.

"So tell me, Beckett," said Castle, turning his whole body to face her and resting his chin on his hand. "What's blocking you from writing?"

Kate remained silent, thinking. "I don't know what to say."

"That's usually the definition of having writer's block…"

Kate rolled her eyes. Although he was being snarky, she found that she didn't mind that much. "I think," she began, looking at the water, "that I'm going to go home and think."

"Do you want me to come with you?"

Kate smiled at his sentiment, shook her head. "I think it would be better if I did this alone."

She patted her thighs and stood up from the bench.

"Let me know if you need someone to talk to," he said, looking up at her. He wanted to capture that moment and hold it in a box forever – she was backlit by the setting sun, which made it look as though she had a halo.

Kate smiled and nodded before turning and walking towards the subway. She knew exactly what she would do to get over her writer's block.

* * *

><p>Kate was sitting on her bed cross legged with a box in front of her. It was a box she only opened once a year – January 9th. She opened the lid slowly and began to take the items out and lay them reverently on her comforter.<p>

After her mother died, Kate collected everything she could of her mother's and put them into a box. No one knew about the box – not even her father. It was almost a carbon copy of the one she kept her gun, watch, and necklace in, but it didn't have a picture on the lid.

She looked at each picture and each letter, tracing her mother's face lightly. Kate had shown part of the box to Castle when he came over during the Raglan case, but she didn't tell Castle where they had come from. He may know almost everything else about her life, but the Johanna Box, as she called it, would stay a secret; it was just for her.

Kate got to the bottom of the box and pulled out the last picture. It was the one of her mother and father on their wedding day. It had lived on her nightstand all through her life until about a month after her mother was murdered. She remembered that day like it was yesterday.

* * *

><p><em>Kate had just gotten back from a long ride on her motorcycle. After coming home to the detective waiting, Kate felt like she was living a different life. Since that moment, time hadn't passed correctly – sometimes it rushed by and sometimes it seemed to be going backwards. Kate was confused as to where she was, when she was, and even who she was. She didn't know how to live without her mother. Maybe, had she had time to say good-bye, she would be better equipped to carrying on, but the last conversation she had had with Johanna had been sadly mundane. Kate was in California, living her dreams in Stanford. Her mother called every so often, and they would talk about everything. Each phone call was ended with an "I love you" on both sides. Kate was glad those were the last words she ever spoke to her mother.<em>

_Walking into her father's apartment was depressing. Ever since the funeral, all he would do was sit in an arm chair and drink beer after beer. Sometimes, he would drink harder liquor, and sometimes he would even drink vodka straight from the bottle. Kate knew he was going down a bad path, but he wasn't the only one._

_She had taken to being reckless. She'd take her motorcycle out for long drives, weaving through the traffic, and barely making yellow lights. She'd whiz by ten times faster than the speed limit, sometimes wishing that she would just crash and the pain would be gone. But as soon as she got home, all thoughts about lessening her own pain would fly from her head. When she was home, she knew that she needed to help her father._

_For days, he wouldn't even acknowledge her presence. He'd just stare blankly out the window, occasionally bringing the bottle of schnapps to his mouth and taking a swig._

_Kate didn't even recognize him anymore. In the span of a month, he'd lost any extra body fat (which wasn't a lot), his eyes became more sunken, and his skin became yellower and almost translucent. Kate knew that he wasn't eating, despite the steaming plate of dinner she placed before him each night. It seemed to her that the only reason to go on living was to take care of her father._

_That day, Kate had gotten closer to an accident than she had ever been. She was coasting along Madison Ave, crossing 75__th__, when a cab decided that he would start moving before the light turned green. Kate had been speeding so she could make the green light when the cab began to move. She swerved dangerously and almost fell off the bike. The cabbie missed her taillight by an inch. She heard him screaming at her, but she didn't want to listen. The adrenaline in her veins was pumping and she could hear the blood rushing in her ears. It was the first time she had truly felt alive since her mother's death. But it was also the first time she had really had a brush with death. When she got home, it reminded her how important it was to care, if not for herself, for her father._

"_Dad," she called as she came in the apartment. "I'm home."_

_She was greeted with silence. Kate made her way to the living room where she found her father staring into the empty bottle of Smirnoff._

"_Did you hear me?" she tried again. No response. "Dad, enough!" she cried, grabbing the bottle from his hands. He let it go without a fight._

_It was the first time her father had made eye contact with her in a month. His eyes were bloodshot and watery. He didn't look like he could make a sound._

"_I've had enough babysitting you. Mom didn't just leave you, you know," she said. She knew she was being harsh, but it had been long enough. He looked at her with sad eyes, but she wouldn't let it trick her._

"_Dad, it's been a month. Get yourself back together. I can't always be here for you."_

_Still nothing._

"_Dad!" she yelled. "Listen to me! You're not being fair to either of us. Mom wouldn't have wanted you to act like this."_

_Kate could tell that she wasn't going to get through to her father by yelling at him. She knelt down beside him and took one of his hands in hers. _

"_I miss her too, Daddy," she said quietly, using 'Daddy' to let him know how serious she was being. "And I promise that I am going to find who did this and I am going to make them wish that they never touched our family. But right now, you have to think of the people who love you. Please, Daddy, come back."_

_Jim Beckett looked at his daughter, full of pride. She had matured so much more than anyone in their teens should, but he couldn't do it. If his Johanna wasn't living then neither would he. _

"_Dad, I'm going to go to my room now. You come and let me know if you are ever ready to come back. I need you, Daddy."_

_Kate stood up and walked to her room. She planted herself on the center of her bed, staring at the door, hoping against hope that her father would come through to door and say 'I'm sorry, Katie. Let's get through this together.' But someone deep inside, she knew that that wasn't going to happen. _

_After waiting for close to an hour, Kate finally let the tears come. She had cried more in that month than she had in her entire life. _

_She curled up in the center of her bed. Her room was just as it was when she left for California. The walls were still their warms shade of blue, her comforter still the same blue, green, and purple stripes, her rug the same brown shag rug. Everything was the same, yet everything was different._

_Kate hugged a pillow to her chest and sobbed. She cried for her mother who would never see her graduate college, get married, and have children. She cried for her father who was drowning himself in alcohol, and she was helpless. She cried for the innocence that was torn away from her far too early. She cried for how she wanted to die. Her body wracked with sobs. She pulled out the chain that she wore every day that had her mother's ring. She looked at it and pressed it to her lips. She nearly bit off the stone by accident; she was pressing it to her mouth so hard. _

_Hours passed and her tears stopped flowing. Her eyes were raw and dry. She wished she had the strength to get up and wash her face, but she couldn't even fathom moving. _

_Somehow, she found it in her to roll over and take the picture that was on her night table. She looked at the smiling faces of her parents, and wished that they could be like that once more – one happy family. If not a family, at least to see her parent's smiling again. _

"_Why did you leave us?" she asked the picture, knowing she wouldn't get an answer. "Was it something I did?" When no one answered her, she felt a wave of anger flow through her. "How could you do this, Mom?"she cried. "How could you leave me?_

_In her rage, she sat up and pulled the picture from the frame. She ripped it in two and screamed. She threw the prices to the floor and curled back into a ball and cried herself to sleep._

* * *

><p>Rick was closing the door to his apartment when Alexis bounded down the stairs, her red hair flying behind her.<p>

"Hey Pumpkin," he greeted, pulling her in for a hug.

"Hey Dad," she said, her voice muffled. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine. Where are you running off to?"

"Ash and I are going out for dinner and a movie. Don't worry," she continued when she saw her father's face. "I'll be home by ten thirty. It's a school night."

"That's my good girl. Have fun."

She pecked him on the cheek and ran out the door. Rick smiled wistfully after her and was reminded of the days when he was as carefree as Alexis had been.

"Ah, there you are, Richard," Martha said, breezing into the room.

"Hello there, Mother," answered Castle, going to the bar where his mother was pouring him a glass of wine.

He gratefully took the liquid and sipped it pensively. His eyes were far away, thinking about what Kate must be doing at that moment.

"Richard?" asked Martha, waving a hand in front of his face.

"Huh?"

"What's gotten you so thoughtful?"

"Did I do the right thing?" he asked. It was a question that had been plaguing him ever since he had began to truly plan this fundraiser.

"What in the world do you mean?"

"Was it right of me to set this up without Beckett's permission?"

"Oh, Richard, that is the most ridiculous thing I ever heard. You are giving Beckett the opportunity to honor her mother's legacy. And you did ask her, didn't you?"

"Yeah, I guess. But sometimes I wonder whether it was the right choice."

Martha reached for her son's hand, grasping it in a firm, loving hold. "Richard Castle, do you honestly think that Beckett would let you do this if she didn't want it?"

Rick sighed, resting his chin in the hand that wasn't being held by his mother. "No."

Martha smiled and patted his hand. "That's my good boy."

"Okay, I'm going to go write. I don't even want to know what you're going to do."

"Watch it, you," said Martha, pretending to be mad.

Rick laughed and headed to his office. He closed the door and took a seat behind his desk. He booted up his computer, opened a desk drawer, and pulled out an old picture.

Sitting and talking with Kate earlier had made Rick think back to his childhood and Alexis' childhood. He remembered Alexis the morning after Meredith left; how heartbroken she was, and how there was nothing Rick could do to ease the pain.

* * *

><p>"<em>Daddy?" asked a timid Alexis. Rick rolled over and saw the red LED lights of his clock glowing 2:17am. <em>

"_What is it, Pumpkin?"_

"_I had a bad dream."_

_Rick reached to his bedside lamp and clicked it on. He looked at the face of his daughter and felt his heart break. Her eyes were red and puffy, and tear tracks had yet to dry on her cheeks._

"_Oh sweetie, come here," he said, holding out his hands, motioning for her to climb into bed with him. "Do you want to tell me your dream?"_

_Alexis burrowed in her father's shirt for a few minutes. Rick felt two wet patches seep through his shirt, and could do nothing but stroke her hair and murmur in her ear, "It's okay, Daddy's here."_

_Meredith had left that day, and Alexis took it hard. Rick hated fighting in front of her, so he did his best not to get into a knock down drag out with his wife while Alexis was around. Little did he know that she was on the other side of the door, in the hall, when he finally blew up at Meredith. She had heard everything._

_When Meredith wrenched the door open to storm out, she almost tripped over Alexis, who was standing like a statue with tears running down her face. Meredith stared at Alexis for a moment before storming out. Rick was devastated that his daughter had been there. He was rooted to the spot, as was she. He watched her for a moment before running to her and folding her into his arms._

"_I dreamt that Mommy left," came a small voice from somewhere near his stomach. Rick forced himself to pay attention to his little girl. "And that you chased after her. You saw me, but you didn't stop. You followed her, and you never came back. I waited and waited for you, Daddy." By that point, Rick could hardly make out Alexis' words; they were so slurred from her sobs. "I made myself dinner, and I cleaned my room, hoping that if I cleaned my room then you would come back. But you didn't. You never came back, Daddy."_

"_Oh, Baby, I'd never leave you, you know that," said Rick, placing a finger under Alexis' chin, lifting her face to his. He kissed her forehead and nuzzled her, pulling her closer, if that was even possible._

"_Then why did Mommy?"_

_Rick took a deep breath. How was he supposed to explain this to his five year old daughter? How could explain "affair" and "director" and "moving to California"?_

"_Well," he began, hoping that he would do it justice. "Your Mommy is very busy. She got offered a job, a really good job, in California, so she's going there."_

"_Is she coming back?"_

_Alexis' eyes were so round and innocent, that Rick didn't want to take it away from her. He would have done _anything_ at that point to make sure that Alexis never had to feel the pain of her mother leaving._

_In the end, Rick decided to be honest. If it was going to be just the two of them from then on, he knew that they had to start a relationship built on trust and honesty._

"_I don't know, Pumpkin, I don't know."_

"_Does she not love me?"_

_Sometimes Rick wondered why his daughter had to be so smart beyond her years. "She loves you very much, sweetie."_

"_Then why did she leave?"_

"_Because this is a very big opportunity for her, and she didn't want to miss it."_

"_Like when Gina decided to make your book famous?"_

_Rick could help but chuckle at the pure innocence with which Alexis asked about his business deal._

"_Yes, Pumpkin, exactly like that."_

"_Will Mommy call me to wish me good night?"_

"_The time in California is different than here, so sometimes when you're getting ready for bed, Mommy will still be working."_

"_Can you tell her that I love her and that I miss her?" Alexis asked, cuddling into Rick's side._

_His heart broke all over again, wishing that he didn't have to be the middle man between his daughter and his wife._

"_Of course. You can talk to her, if you want, sweetie."_

"_Maybe. But not now, I'm tired."_

"_Of course not now, silly head. It's two thirty in the morning," said Rick, laughing, poking her in the nose._

"_Can I stay here with you tonight, Daddy?" she asked, looking at him with her big blue eyes._

"_Sure thing. Come get under the covers. Nice and cozy. If you have another bad dream, just wake me up, okay?"_

"'_Kay," said Alexis, her voice already heavy with sleep._

_Rick smiled and planted another kiss on the top of her head. He reached over and shut the light off, letting the light from the city filter in through the window. He snuggled down, pulling Alexis closer to him. He breathed in her fresh scent of L'Oreal for Kids shampoo that he had used when giving her a bath that night._

_Feeling his daughter's warm body next to him, and hearing her steady breath, Rick finally fell back to sleep, his dreams plagued with Meredith abandoning both of them._

* * *

><p>Kate fingered the tape that held the two pieces of the picture together. Years later, she got a letter from her father. He'd sent it while he was still in Rehab. She found it and read it again.<p>

_March 17, 2004_

_Dear Katie,_

_Thank you for helping me see the light. I'm almost done here, and I can't wait to see you again. I hope that somewhere in your heart, you can find it to forgive me for not being there for you all those years ago. I was blinded by my own grief, but I want you to know that I want to have a relationship. I want to get to know you again. Please, at least think about it._

_Love,_

_Dad_

_PS: I thought you might want this back._

She remembered how touched she was that her father had the presence of mind to send her the picture after fixing it.

Kate looked around her bed and reassessed everything that she had. She looked slowly from one thing to the next, not wanting to miss a thing. Her eyes stopped on a ticket stub that she had saved from when her mother had gotten promotional back stage passes to the _Temptation Lane_ set. The memory that she associated was not the one of meeting Lance Hastings, but rather the day that her mother got her into the show in the first place.

* * *

><p>"<em>How are you feeling, Baby?" Johanna asked her daughter, opening the apartment. Kate gave her mother a thumbs down sign along with a pout. She had just gotten her tonsils removed and couldn't talk. Any good mother could tell that she was miserable.<em>

"_Okay, sweetie, here's what we're going to do," her mom began, kneeling down and brushing the hair off of her forehead. "You're going to go to bed, and Mommy's going to make some phone calls. When you get up, you and I will do something together. How does that sound?"_

_Kate shrugged, not really having the strength to think about anything past going to sleep. _

_A few hours later, Kate woke up with her throat in searing pain. She wanted to call to her mother, but she couldn't find her voice. She was about to start crying, when her mother burst into her room._

"_Good to see you awake, sleepy head," Johanna said, setting the glass of cold apple juice on the night table. "Are you okay, Katie?" she asked concerned, seeing her daughter's frightened eyes. Kate pointed to her throat and her eyes watered. _

"_I know it hurts, sweetie. Here, drink this apple juice." Johanna cradled Kate in her arms and helped her sip the juice. The cold beverage felt good to Kate's throat, but she was still uncomfortable._

"_What would you like to do now?" her mother asked. Kate shrugged her shoulders. "Watch TV?"_

_Kate smiled and nodded. She pointed at her mother then at her bed._

"_You want to go to my bed?"_

_The young child nodded. Johanna pretended to think about it before breaking into a huge smile. She scooped Kate up, blankets and all, and carried her down the hall to the parents' bed room. She set Kate near the headboard and reached for the remote._

"_Okay, Kiddo, chose whatever you want. Mommy's going to get us some ice cream."_

_Kate turned on the TV and saw a gory medical show. She quickly changed the channel and found a talk show. People were laughing, but Kate didn't understand what was funny. She clicked the remote again and got a law show. She watched with interest, understanding more than she probably should. The case was about who gets to keep the kid in a divorce. She was about to hear the closing arguments when her mother came back with chocolate ice cream. _

"_Oh, Katie, you don't want to watch that," she said, taking the remote and changing it to a channel with what seemed to be a normal show. "If you want to learn about law, I can tell you. I don't want you watching those shows."_

_Kate nodded and took her bowl of ice cream. She turned her attention to the TV and snuggled into her mother's side. They stayed like that all afternoon, watching a _Temptation Lane _marathon that was showing. Kate couldn't tell if she liked the show or not, but she was just glad to be spending time with her mother. _

_When Jim Beckett came home, he saw his beautiful wife lying on their bed with his daughter curled into her side._

"_Shh," motioned Johanna as Jim came into the room. He looked lovingly at his daughter and then walked around the bed to his wife. He gave her a welcome home kiss and took her hand._

"_How is she?" he asked, quietly._

"_Okay. Tired."_

"_Sorry I couldn't be there," he said._

"_It's okay. We watched _Temptation Lane_ all afternoon."_

"_That's my girl."_

_Kate smiled in her sleep, listening to her parents' conversation, even though they thought she was asleep._

* * *

><p>Rick shook himself from his day dream. He looked at the picture in hand and traced the back of Alexis' head softly. He didn't know who had taken it, but it was a picture of them hugging; he was facing the camera and her head was nestled in his neck. He had a broad smile on his face and his eyes were full of love.<p>

Thinking about Alexis made him remember his own childhood. As he had told Kate, he didn't remember much of elementary school past sweaty palms and baking soda volcanoes, but he did remember traveling with his mother. There were so many times when he was pulled out of school because no one was at home to take care of him while Martha was with her production.

Maybe that was how he came to love making up stories. He got the plot for _In a Hail of Bullets_ from _One Life to Live_, but he had loved to tell stories long before then. In fact, he remembered one story that he wrote when he was in fourth grade. It was right before he left with his mother to go on tour. He proudly carried around the folder with the messy script, telling every cast member the story of _Hammer and Nails_.

* * *

><p>"<em>Richard, we're going to be late!" Martha called, heaving three large suitcases out the door.<em>

"_Coming, Mom," the young Richard Rogers replied, bounding through the apartment to meet his mother. He had a Spider Man backpack over his shoulders, and he was clutching a sheaf of crumpled papers._

"_What is that, darling?"_

"_It's the story that I wrote in school. I'm taking it so I can entertain everyone."_

"_Dear, you do know that we're going on tour with _actors_, right?"_

"_So?"_

"_There will be plenty of drama without your story about banging and sharp things."_

"_But Mother—" cried Ricky._

"_No buts, Ricky, we have a plane to catch."_

_Ricky signed dejectedly, but followed his mother none the less. He didn't really want to be missing school. No, that was a lie. He wanted to be missing school, but not for a month and a half. He would have to make up all the work, and it would be too much. When his mother first told him, he ran to his room and locked the door, even though that wasn't exactly allowed in the Rogers' household._

"_Oh, Richard, stop moping," cried Martha, nudging him as they sat in the taxi. They were stuck in traffic (as usual), and Ricky was staring out the window watching all the other cars rush by. Why was it that the lane that he was in always seemed to be the slowest?_

_Finally, they got through the bottle neck, and the trip to JFK was smooth. They met with the rest of the cast of the play, and hopped onto a plane. Ricky was sitting next to a window, so he could watch New York become smaller and smaller the higher they went. He gazed in amazement, not having been on a plane since he was really little. He pressed his nose against the glass, wishing that he could reach out and touch the clouds._

"_Mommy," he began, patting his mother's arm, trying to get her attention._

"_One second, darling," she said, waving him off, not looking away from the man she was talking to. Ricky would have felt neglected, but that's what his childhood was. Either he was being ignored, or he was being reprimanded. But it was okay, because he knew that his mother loved him so much, she just had a different way of showing it. Ricky turned back to the window and watched the puffy white clouds bounce by._

"_Yes, Richard, what is it?" asked Martha, turning to her sun._

"_Why can't I go play on the clouds?" he asked, pointing out the window._

"_Because you would fall through. Clouds aren't solid, sweet heart, they are just water."_

"_Oh," said Ricky, crestfallen. He wished that he could go run around on the fluffy clouds; it looked like it would be so much fun._

_His disappointment didn't last long, because soon, the flight attendant, who was a pretty woman, asked if he wanted to go to see the cockpit and the pilot. Ricky looked to his mother for permission, but she was engrossed in another boring adult conversation. _

_He scrambled off his seat and followed the woman to a small room filled with levers and dials._

"_Hi, I'm Reggie, and I'm the pilot. What's your name, kid?" asked one man in a cool hat._

"_I'm Ricky Rogers. My mother is Martha Rogers. She's an actress."_

"_Well, Hello Ricky. Do you want to be a pilot when you get big?"_

"_No, but can I wear your hat?"_

_The pilot and his partner laughed at Ricky's honesty, but Reggie lifted his hat off his head and placed it on Ricky's._

"_Cool!" Ricky said, rolling his eyes up, trying to see it._

"_So, Ricky, you say you want to tell stories when you get big?"_

"_Yeah, I can tell you one right now, if you like," he said, his entire face brightening._

"_Well, I guess that's okay, right?" said Reggie, turning to his co-pilot, just to get confirmation. The other pilot nodded his head and smiled at Ricky._

_For the next half hour, Ricky wove a tale for them about dragons, cotton candy clouds, robots, and spacecrafts. Reggie was amazed by the child's ability to tell such an engaging story. It was lucky the plane was on auto-pilot or else Reggie might have completely misled the plane._

"_Well, Ricky, that was quite a tale."_

"_Thank you, Reggie. I should be getting back now, but thanks for letting me wear the hat, even if I don't want to be a pilot."_

"_No problem. Hey, before you leave, take a pair of wings to keep so you remember us."_

"_Oh please, Reggie, I'd never forget you!" Ricky cried as he pinned the wings proudly to his chest._

_Ricky made his way back to his seat where his mother was fast asleep with a cloth over her eyes. Ricky smiled to himself, knowing that he had made a new friend. Maybe story telling would be the perfect way to meeting people._

_Ricky lifted the arm rest between the seats and snuggled in next to his mother. She was kind of bony, but to Ricky, she was the most comfortable thing in the world._

* * *

><p>Rick Castle stared out his window at the start field sky, thinking about Reggie. He hadn't thought about him in years, but it somehow felt comforting to remember the first friend he made through telling a story. He got up and poured himself some whiskey and went to stand by the window, letting the moon light and the street lights illuminate half his face.<p>

"Hey Dad," came a voice from the door. He turned and saw his daughter standing there, smiling brightly.

"Hey, Pumpkin. How was your date?"

"It was great. The movie was really good, and Ash took me out to a really nice dinner."

"Good, I'm so glad you had a good time."

Alexis smiled and turned to leave when she spotted the picture of the two of them still out on Castle's desk.

"Hey, what's this?" she asked, picking up the photo.

"Oh, I was just thinking about when you were a kid."

"Any good memories?"

He looked down into his glass, swirling the water slightly.

"Oh," she said, placing the picture on the desk. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine. Are you okay?"

"Yeah," she said. Alexis didn't move. She didn't say anything. She just stood there, watching her father get lost in memories. "Dad, you know that I'm older now, and I can deal with it."

"I know, sweetie, but you'll always be my little girl," he said, setting the glass down on a side table and walking over to his daughter.

He enveloped her in a hug and smelled her hair – it wasn't L'Oreal for Kids, but if he really tried, he could still smell a whiff of that watermelon scented 2-in-1 that he could rinse out of her hair every night.

"I love you, Dad," she said, her voice muffled in his shoulder.

"I know, Pumpkin, and I love you."

They stood like that for a while, just enjoying being together. It had been too long since Rick had really held his daughter. She was growing up so fast that he could hardly keep up. It saddened him to know that they would never be as carefree as they used to be when she was child, but standing there, being with each other, reminded Rick that those days didn't have to disappear entirely, even if they weren't a common occurrence.

No matter how much Alexis grew up, he would always be able to hug her close and smell the scent of childhood.

* * *

><p>Kate smiled at the memory of lying with her parents on their bed, feeling safe. It felt like so long ago that she had felt that safe. Kate felt something wet on her cheeks and realized that she was crying. She didn't want to be crying – she wanted to be strong, but no one was around; no one was there to see her tears.<p>

She looked at her father's watch and saw that it was later than she though – it was almost midnight. She needed to get to sleep if she was planning on being productive at all the next day.

Kate gently began to put the memories back in the box, feeling confident that she could write her speech the next day. She was about to put the last paper back in the box and put it back in her closet, but then she realized what it was. It was the last letter her mother ever sent her. Even though they spoke frequently, Johanna was insistent that Kate receive letters in the mail. They usually had some sort of life lesson, which Kate laughed off in college. Now, every year, she would read them again and be amazed at how right her mother's advice was.

_Dear Katie,_

_I know we talked last night, but I just had to write you, especially after the case that we closed today. I'm not at liberty to tell you about the case specifics, but the lesson I learned is an important one, and one that I encourage you to think about all through life._

_Katie, you are a strong independent woman, and don't let _anyone_ tell you otherwise. You have the power to change the world, and you have the power to make your own decisions in life. Take every opportunity that comes your way, and don't get so caught up with the past (whatever it might be) that you throw away your future. You are extraordinary, and you can do amazing things, but don't throw it all away for anything._

_I love you, Katie, forever and always,_

_Mom_

Clutching the letter, crumpled from so many readings, to her heart, Kate Beckett finally fell asleep.

**Hello again. I don't want to talk about this, because I want to know what you think. A couple things to note though:**

**1. If you think it's confusing or disjointed, I was going for that feeling that neither of them really knew where they were.**

**2. Please, please, please tell me what you think of this - the style, the stories, anything. I am very worried about the reception of this chapter.**

**Just as a note: In my original outline, this story was going to be 17 chapters tops. Well...anyway, please leave me a review. See you next week! Best, Mangotango101**


	19. Chapter 19

**Oh hi! In case you forgot who I am, it's me. Sorry this took so long. I had this ready-ish Tuesday, but then I was with shotty internet, so I couldn't upload it. Then there are these annoying things called holidays without electricity that lasted from Wednesday until tonight. So yeah...I'm getting this up ASAP. Buuut...since you all waited so patiently, I promise to have the second half of this chapter up by Monday night. So there.**

**Anyway - this is part 1 of the fundraiser. Kate's dress is from David's Bridal under "Long Bridesmaids Dresses." It's pretty and I thought it suited Kate just fine. **

**Please let me know if I kept all the characters in character! Hope you enjoy part 1.**

**Disclaimer: This is not mine, nor will it ever be. All things relating to _Castle_ and its franchise belongs to AWM and ABC Studios. No copyright infringement in intended.**

**Chapter 19 **

Kate stood with a towel tucked tightly under her armpits. Her hair was in a messy bun at the top of her head, still dripping from her shower. She stood at the end of her bed contemplating her choices for what she could wear to her mother's fundraiser. She shook her head, not believing what she was seeing. _He __has __some __nerve_, she thought. _But __I __guess __it__'__s __touching__…__kind __of._

She had had a long day at work – not because she had a case (Montgomery had been deflecting all cases to the other detectives for the past couple of days), but because she had nothing to do. She sat at her desk watching the clock tick away, and working aimlessly on paperwork that was long overdue. Finally, Montgomery had let all of them go at noon; he couldn't stand watching their restlessness.

* * *

><p>"<em>Okay guys, why don't you all just go home, get ready, and I'll see you back here in two days," said Montgomery, coming out of his office into the bullpen.<em>

"_Two days?" asked Kate, looking up from her paperwork."_

"_What? You think I'm expecting you to come in tomorrow and work a case?"_

"_Well__…" __said __Kate, __not __knowing __why __they _wouldn't _come __in__to __work._

"_Kate, you're going to be physically and mentally exhausted after tonight. I can already see it in your eyes. Tomorrow you're all going to take a personal day, and you can come back on Tuesday."_

"_Yes, Sir," resigned Kate._

"_Good."_

_Ryan, Esposito, and Kate packed up their belongings, shut down their computers and stepped into the elevator._

"_Where was Castle?" asked Ryan, pressing the button for 'Parking.'_

"_He said he had some last minute things to do," answered Kate, only half paying attention to what the boys were saying. Tonight would be one of the most trying nights she would have had in years. It was a night when she would attempt to let some of the walls down, and she was very apprehensive._

_The __elevator _ding_ed, __and __the __crew __got __out __and __headed __for __their __respective __cars._

"_See you all tonight," called Kate, unlocking the door to her unmarked._

"_Any idea how we're getting there?" asked Esposito._

"_No. Ask Castle," answered Kate. She got into her car, buckled the seat belt, and turned on the ignition. She took a deep breath, getting ready to go home. Lanie had offered to come and get ready with her, but she denied, saying that she needed to be alone before this. It was true – Kate didn't want to have anyone around, in case she broke down. She knew it would happen sometime in the coming hours, and she hoped that it would be when no one was there and when she could still cover the tear tracks with makeup._

_Kate continued to mentally prepare herself for the fundraiser. Since it was mid-afternoon, the traffic was considerably lighter than when she usually made the trip home. She got there in just under thirty minutes. She was so lost in her own world that she almost missed Greg's cheerful "Welcome home, Ms. Beckett."_

_In an effort to kick off some steam, Kate decided to walk up the stairs. She was going to take a shower anyway, and she had pent up energy that she needed to get rid of._

_Kate opened the door to the hallway and immediately saw a bouquet of blue hydrangeas and white calla lilies along with a large white box. She knew before opening it what it was. She picked up the card, which was simply addressed "~KB~"_

_She carried the gifts to the apartment. She placed the flowers on the counter and brought the box to her room. She had a sense of déjà vu from the last time she had received a box such as this one from Castle. _

_Kate opened the card and smiled when she read what was written. _

To the extraordinary KB,

I know you hate being told what to do, so instead of buying you one dress, I gave you a selection. If you ask me, I'd choose the green one, but that's only me. If you need anything, just call. See you at 7.

Sincerely,

RC

_She tucked the card back into its envelope and opened the box. She let out a small gasp when she saw three gorgeous dresses lying in tissue paper. Kate was again astounded at Castle's ability to pick out clothes for her as she lifted each from the box and laid it on her bed. She decided not to dwell on which to wear yet; first she wanted to take a shower._

* * *

><p>Kate re-crossed her arms and inspected each dress again.<p>

The first was a soft blue gown that looked as though it would simply drape over her body. It reached her knees and had a high neckline and backline. It was the most conservative of all of the dresses, but didn't look like it would really flatter her figure as well as a different dress.

The second was gold, reached mid thigh, and was skin tight. It was shimmery, had a high neckline, and a plunging back. It was a little weird, and definitely not something that Kate would want to wear to this function – maybe another one, but not this one.

The last was the green one that Castle said was his favorite. Kate could see why. She immediately fell in love with it. She assumed that Castle added the other two dresses to give the illusion of a choice, but she knew that he knew that the green one was the only real contender. It was satin and a warm moss color that matched perfectly with her eyes. It had one shoulder strap and was skin tight all through the waist. It flared out in an A-line mid-thigh and touched the ground. The dress had an interesting, thick ribbon type thing that lay diagonal from her right hip to her left thigh. The back was fairly low, but it definitely left a lot to the imagination. Kate loved the elegant silhouette, and she knew that it would hug her body in just the right places. She couldn't wait to slip it on and feel the cool satin against her skin.

Kate hung up the other two dresses in her closet and headed back towards the bathroom to get her makeup ready. She was almost to the sink when she heard her phone ring.

"What Castle?" she asked, picking up the phone.

"Well good afternoon to you too, Detective. Did you like your present?" he answered. She could hear the smile in his voice.

"Yes, thank you. They were all beautiful."

"Which are you going to wear?"

"That would ruin the surprise, wouldn't it?" she teased.

"You're mean," he pouted.

"Suck it up, Castle. Now why did you call me? If you haven't forgotten, I have a fundraiser to get ready for."

"Very funny. I was just calling to let you know that the limo will pick you up at seven."

She rolled her eyes. She felt like she had had this argument with Castle multiple times over the past couple of days.

"For the last time, Castle, I don't need a limo."

"Oh please, Beckett, no way are you coming in your car, driving _yourself_."

"And what's wrong with that?" she asked.

"This is a classy function in honor of you mother. You should arrive in style."

"Are you calling my car not classy?"

"Beckett, I've told you this so many times. Your car sucks. It had a spring in the back of the passenger—"

"Okay, I get it," she interrupted. She heard Castle complain about her car almost every time they rode in it. "But a whole limo to myself? That's a little steep, Castle."

"Oh you won't be by yourself," he said.

"And why is that?" she asked, knowing that he hadn't told her, just to mess with her.

"Well, there will be four other people in the limo with you."

"And who might these people be?" she asked, playing along.

"Well, one is a ruggedly handsome writer, the other his beautiful daughter, and the third his slightly tipsy mother."

"And the fourth?"

"It's a surprise."

"You know how much I hate surprises," she protested.

"You'll like this one. I promise."

Kate rolled her eyes and was about to answer when she registered the other half of Castle's sentence. "Wait, I'm coming with you?" she asked, sitting on her bed.

"Oh, so now you remember. And don't sound so repulsed," Castle answered, pretending to be offended. "I was going to come with them, but since Motorcycle Boy isn't coming, I thought I could be your date."

"We're not dating," said Kate, defensively.

"I know we aren't, but we're two good looking people, each without a significant other, so it would be natural that we should walk in together."

Kate was speechless on the other side of the phone. She had already told him that she wasn't ready for a relationship, and here Castle was, putting them in a situation where people would think that they were together in a way that was deeper than working together.

"Beckett, don't over think it," he said, calling her back to the present. "I'm not implying anything. We're already partners, so why not walk in together. We'll be sitting together, and I can introduce you to all the important people that I know."

"Fine," Kate agreed. "But we're not together."

"I know that," he said.

"Yeah, but other people don't know."

"Is that what you're worried about?" he asked. "People thinking that we're together?" He sounded more hurt than Kate had intended.

"Yes, no, I mean, I just don't want people assuming things and it turning up on page six tomorrow."

"Kate, there isn't going to be any press at this, and if people ask, we'll just say that we're partners and friends. That's what we are, right?" He sounded worried, and Kate wanted to ease his fear.

"Yes, we're partners and friends, Castle. I just don't want people getting the wrong idea."

"Don't worry, they won't. And if they do leak it to the press, you can use those kick-ass detective skills and arrest them for invasion of privacy."

Kate laughed. "I don't think you can arrest someone for that."

"Fine, well you're smart, you'll think of something."

Kate rolled her eyes. "Okay, so I'll see you at seven. I have to finish getting ready. Bye, Castle," she said.

"Wait, what are you wearing?"

"Wouldn't you like to know?" she asked. Before she could hear his answer, she hung up. Kate smiled, imagining what his face must look like. She bit her lip, apprehensive about the fact that she was excited to walk in with Castle.

Kate stood and made her way to the bathroom to finish getting ready. She glanced at the clock and saw that it was already five thirty. Seven would come soon enough, and until then, she focused on the moment, not dwelling on the speech she would give about her mother to hundreds of strangers. Not dwelling on the thought of slipping into the gorgeous dress that Castle had bought for more than her weekly salary. Not dwelling on the disconcerting feelings that she had for her friend and partner. No, for the next hour and a half, Kate was determined to stay focused on what her hands were doing in that moment. The time would pass quicker than she would be ready, so why start freaking out sooner than she had to?

* * *

><p>Kate stood in front of her full length mirror assessing her reflection. Finally, she had gotten her hair and makeup right and she had put on the dress. It was creepy how Castle could find something that was exactly her size, even though she never had told him. <em>Lanie<em>, she thought, smiling to herself.

She looked like a vision. The dress made her eyes look bigger and brighter. She wore her hair down, in large waves, but it was swept to the left, held in place with a sparkly clip. Her makeup was smoky, but not in a sexy smoky way, more in a mysterious smoky way. She put on light lip stick that was had more of a shine than a color. Kate had dug up some old silver peep toe pumps and a silver clutch.

She went to her dresser, on autopilot, to do what she usually did when she got dressed. Kate reached for the watch and forewent slipping in onto her wrist, and instead tucked it in her purse. She slipped her mother's ring over her heck, but found that it looked horrible with the dress. She took it off and put it into her bag. She wished that she could wear it and keep it near her heart, but maybe it was a sign that the only way she would be able to talk about her mother is if she separated herself from her mother. It was twisted logic, but maybe it was true. She reached for her gun and badge, trying to decide where to put them. Why she needed them was a mystery even to her, but she felt safer being armed. She slipped the gun into her purse and looked around for a place to put the badge. She realized that her dress was too tight to clip it anywhere, and finally, dejectedly, put it inter her bag. She wanted to make Castle go crazy again, if she had the chance to flash it.

Kate took a lingering look at the picture of her parents smiling and willed herself not to cry. This was it – the big moment. Kate had her speech neatly folded in her bag along with a pack of tissues. She hoped that she wouldn't have to use them, but she never knew. It was a big night for Kate; it was the first time that she ever opened up to anyone outside of her family about her mother and how she felt. She was confident that her speech was moving and powerful and not to attention seeking. She'd be getting enough attention.

The doorbell jerked her from her thoughts. She grabbed the wrap that was lying on the bed and shut the lights. Kate walked into the living room and took a deep breath. She knew who was on the other side of the door, and she wanted to collect herself.

After a minute, she pulled the door open to see Castle standing there in a crisp tux; his tie was the exact same shade as her dress.

Castle stood transfixed. He knew that Kate would choose the green dress, but he had no idea that it would look that amazing on her. He couldn't move. It took conscious effort _not_ to let his jaw drop. She was stunning. Beyond stunning. The dress hugged her in the best possible way, and it flattered her figure better than he could have imagined. Her hair and makeup were flawless, just as he knew they would be.

He could see the hesitation and the grief in her eyes, and he loved her for it. He could see the vulnerability that was showing through her hard Detective mask. In that moment, she wasn't Detective Beckett; she was Kate Beckett – a girl who lost her mother too early. He saw that she bit her lip, waiting for his response, so he smiled.

"Hey," he said.

"Hey," she answered.

"You look…wow."

She blushed and looked down.

"Um, these are for you," he said, handing her a bouquet of flowers.

"Oh, thanks," she replied, taking the flowers and putting them in a vase. "You look pretty good yourself," she said, trying to break the tension.

"Thanks."

"So, are we going?"

"Not yet. I have something for you." He took out a box from his jacket pocket and held it out to her.

"Castle, you didn't have to get me anything. You're already doing all of—"

"Just open it," he said, pushing the box to her.

She took it with trembling hands. It was the size of a necklace box, and Kate realized that she hadn't actually chosen any jewelry. She gently opened it and gasped. It was a chain of diamonds and in the center was a tear drop, moss colored stone that matched the dress. The pendant had a small clasp attached to it.

"Thank you, Castle, this is beautiful," she said, looking up at him. He smiled, glad she liked it. "Would you…?" she asked, handing it to him, motioning for his to clasp it.

He took the two ends of the necklace and moved so he was behind her. She lifted her hair and felt his gentle hands clasp the necklace with surprising accuracy.

"Wow, Castle, I never would have pegged you for a jewelry wearer," she teased.

"What happens at the Casa de la Castle stays at Casa de la Castle," he answered, his breath warm on her ear.

"Castle, that's not even correct Spanish."

"Do you really think that's the take away here?" he asked, moving back so he was facing her.

Kate rolled her eyes. She reached to feel the weight of the necklace between her collarbones. She felt the extra clasp and remembered that she wanted to ask Castle about that.

"What's this for?"

"That, my dear Detective, is the best part of all. Hand me your mother's ring."

"What?" she asked.

"Just do it."

She reached into her bag and fished out the ring. Kate handed it to Castle and watched as he nimbly clipped in onto the teardrop crystal.

"See, now she can be with you all night," he said, lightly brushing his hands across her shoulders. He knew that that was probably crossing some unnamed line that was between them, but he didn't care. He had to feel that she was there in front of him.

Kate's breath caught in her throat. She felt Castle's tender touch, but didn't want to believe it.

"Thanks," she breathed, looking into his eyes. She knew at that moment that that was a mistake.

"It was nothing, really," he said, just as lost in her eyes and she was in his.

"No, I mean for everything. For planning this, for the dress, for the necklace, for being my friend."

Castle dropped his hands to her and grasped them tightly. He brought them to chest level and by virtue of the fact that he was now holding her hands, they were pulled closer together. There was hardly six inches between them. Kate could feel ever ragged breath that was coming from his mouth and she could see his blue eyes darkening ever so slightly. Her own breath hitched, sensing how close they were.

"Always," he whispered. He knew that it was wrong, but he couldn't help himself. Kate was right there. She was living and breathing next to him. He couldn't let another opportunity pass him by. He needed to feel her closer and deeper than he had before.

Rick took a leap of faith that she wouldn't pull her gun (which he had seen in her bag) on him. He took their clasped hands and slowly, without breaking eye contact, raised them to his lips. He placed a gently, chaste kiss on her hands, before dropping them back to where they were.

Kate's breathing and heart rate increased the moment she saw him lift her hands. She wished that she had the power to stop him and to run away from the feelings he was surfacing, but there was no way to. She was rooted. She didn't want to move. If she could live her whole life just standing there with Castle, just being, then she could die a happy woman. The thought scared her. It scared the living day lights out of her and she was worried that he would be able to see it in her eyes. He could read her like a book, and she didn't want him to run away.

The moment his lips touched her hands, something inside of her changed. Somehow, she felt more connected to him – intimately – than she had any of her lovers. There was just something about the act of him kissing her knuckles like a knight in shining armor that made her heart flip and her stomach twist. It was the point of no return. She couldn't go back. He couldn't take it back. And neither of them wanted to.

* * *

><p>"There you two are," said Martha grandly, as Kate and Castle emerged from her apartment building. "I thought we lost you."<p>

"Sorry to keep you waiting, Mother," Castle said sarcastically. He took a sidelong glance at Kate, hoping that it didn't hurt her that he said 'mother.'

"Okay, Castle, I'm here now. Who's the mystery guest?" Kate asked, trying to relieve some tension.

"You mean to say you haven't told her yet?" asked Martha.

"Uh, no, I hadn't gotten to it yet."

Martha clicked her tongue at her son. "Richard. She's not getting any younger," she chastised.

Kate nudged him in the side. "C'mon, Castle, tell me who else I'm sharing the limo with."

Castle sighed, finally giving in. "No fair that you two ganged up on me," he muttered under his breath, making his way towards the limo. Martha glanced at Kate and they both rolled their eyes. "Sir, you can come out now," said Castle, opening the door.

A figure that Kate knew better than any other climbed out of the limo, followed by a red head, who didn't want to miss out on any of the action.

"Dad!" Kate cried, running to his arms. They embraced tightly, Kate feeling like a young girl again, safe in her father's arms.

"Katie," Jim said, pulling back so he could give his daughter a once over. "Wow, you look amazing."

"Thanks. Castle actually picked it out," said Kate, blushing.

"Well, you certainly know how to pick out an outfit, Rick," Jim told Castle, smiling.

"Thank you, Sir. I learned from the best."

"Aw, Richard…" Martha chimed in. Jim smiled at their dynamic and turned back to his daughter.

"Katie, this necklace is gorgeous," he said, lightly fingering her mother's ring.

"Again, it was Castle."

"My, my, Rick, you're doing well tonight."

"I hope I can, Sir."

"Katie, can I talk to you for a moment?" asked Jim. "Alone?"

Kate nodded and led them a couple paces away from the group, just out of ear shot.

"You ready, sweetie?"

She sighed, weighing her words. "Ready isn't exactly how I'd put it."

Jim smiled. It was good to know that Kate still evaded questions, just like when she was a child. "Then how would you put it?"

"It's time mom's legacy is honored."

"Well put, Katie Bug."

Kate smiled and hugged her father. "I don't know if I told you thanks for the photo you sent me," she whispered in his ear. She felt his lips turn up against her hair.

"I thought you might want it."

Kate nodded and pulled away. She saw that his eyes were shining with tears, and she felt the hot prickling behind her eyes as well. She refused to cry.

Kate blinked rapidly to rid her eyes of the unshed tear.

"It's okay to cry, you know," her father said, gently brushing a thumb over her cheek.

"I want to be strong. For her," Kate said, her voice wavering.

"But sometimes being strong means letting someone else in," said Jim, glancing at Castle where he was talking in hushed tones to his own family. Kate followed his line of vision and turned back to her father.

"Dad, we're just friends," she protested, knowing in her heart that it was a dying idea.

"Right…"

Kate rolled her eyes. "Dad."

"Gee, Katie, I don't think you've sounded so much like a teenager in years," teased Jim.

She rolled her eyes again and jokingly punched her father in the arm. "C'mon Dad, I think we've got somewhere to be."

* * *

><p>"You look amazing, Kate," said Alexis as the father-daughter pair returned to the limo.<p>

"Thank you, Alexis. You also look great," answered Kate, smiling. Alexis was wearing a sophisticated black dress that made her look five years older than she was. Kate leaned in and stage whispered, "How'd you get your father to let you wear that?"

Alexis laughed, understanding why Kate was impressed. "I didn't tell him what I was wearing and only came downstairs when it was too late to change."

"Hey, that wasn't very nice," pouted Castle, clearly listening in on the conversation.

"It's not nice to eavesdrop, Castle," reprimanded Kate.

"Really, dear, I thought I would have taught you better," Martha added.

"Mother…"

"Right," said Martha, nodding her head, understanding what Castle was getting at.

"Don't worry, Rick, I know what you're going through. Raising a teenage daughter is never easy," Jim said, nudging Kate.

Castle turned to her, eyeing her suspiciously. "Really now?" he asked.

Kate rolled her eyes. "Dad, you're not supposed to _tell_ him things like that."

"Why?"

Kate didn't answer. Jim looked to Castle for guidance, but Castle just wiggled his eyebrows.

"Guys?" asked Alexis. "This is fun and all, but I really think that we should get going now."

"She's right. We're going to be late," agreed Martha.

"Fine, ruin all my fun," Castle said, throwing up his arms. "C'mon, there're drinks in the limo."

The five piled in and shifted until the women were certain that their dresses wouldn't wrinkle. Somehow, Kate and Castle ended up on one side and Alexis was squished between Martha and Jim, facing the couple (who weren't really a couple). The seating arrangement didn't pass Kate's notice, and instead of doing what she wanted to – sitting close to Castle and holding his hand for support – she crossed her legs and rested her chin on her hand while looking out the tinted window. She couldn't see much, but it was comforting nonetheless.

Kate watched as the lights zipped by, half wishing that they were already at the function hall and half wishing that they would never arrive. She felt the beginning of sweat forming at the roots of her hair, and her palms felt clammy. She still couldn't fully comprehend what was about to happen – opening up to hundreds of people who didn't know her or her mother (at least not well) and convincing them to give enough money that the scholarship would have a chance. It was an idea that was knew to her, and even after months of prepping, she still didn't feel ready.

She felt something shift to her left, but didn't pause in her vigil towards the city passing by. She felt a hand atop the folded ones in her lap, but didn't flinch. She felt the heat of a body pressing against her left side, but she didn't move. She didn't give any outward indication that she knew that Castle had moved at all.

Rick knew that she wouldn't admit that she was nervous or scared – it wasn't in her nature. He knew what it would take for her to admit that she was feeling vulnerable, even with the magnitude of the night.

"Hey, are you okay?" he whispered in her ear. He knew that his family and her father could most likely hear any conversation that they had, but he didn't care. He just wanted to make sure that she was all right.

Kate gave a short nod of her head, so slight that if Castle we're paying attention, he could have missed it. He realized that she didn't want to talk with the audience that was a couple yards away. It was completely understandable, and took the nod for the time being. Once they had a little more privacy, he would ask her again.

Kate felt Rick pull away and let out the breath she was holding. As if her mind was not consumed enough, Rick's scent and his proximity drove everything from her mind, yet made it even more cluttered.

She felt slightly guilty for thinking about Castle and her undeniable attraction to him when she was about to attend a fundraiser in her mother's honor. But she couldn't dwell on the guilt for too long. Before she knew it, the limo pulled to a stop in front of the function hall.

"You ready, Katie Bug?" asked Jim, leaning over to pat Kate on the knee. She smiled but didn't respond.

"Okay," began Castle, addressing the all the occupants of the limo. "There will be reporters, but as soon as we get in, we're going to go into an antechamber. Ryan, Esposito, Lanie, Jenny, the Captain and his wife will be waiting for us there. Then we'll all go in together."

Everyone nodded in agreement and Rick smiled. "Great. Ready then?"

The limo door was opened by the driver and Jim Beckett stepped out first. He took Martha on one arm and Alexis on the other. Jim looked uncomfortable in front of the flashbulbs and microphones, but the body guards that Castle had hired did a good job at keeping the reporters somewhat at bay.

"Don't worry, dear, just smile and it will all be over soon enough," muttered Martha under her breath. Jim let out a shaky breath, nodding his head in acknowledgement.

"Yeah, you're doing great. First time I went out with my dad, I couldn't see straight for hours," added Alexis.

"You two are doing a great job at easing my nerves," joked Jim. The two women laughed and Jim's smile brightened.

"There you go," smiled Martha. "There's the smile that they've been looking for."

The trio posed momentarily before entering the function hall. They followed the body guards to the antechamber on the left. They were greeted by the other members of the Twelfth Precinct.

"Where's Beckett and Castle?" asked Esposito.

"They're behind us," answered Alexis.

* * *

><p>Kate's father and Rick's family left the limo, leaving them alone. Kate's breath quickened, knowing that Rick was about to make some kind of touching comment that she wouldn't know how to respond to.<p>

"Kate," he began. She signed inwardly, knowing what was coming next. "Are you sure you're okay?"

She ducked her head, trying to find the words for how she was feeling. "It's weird. I've faced hit men and questioned serial killers. I've chased long time felons and been shot at. I've stood in front of a dirty bomb and killed men. But this is the most scared I've ever been."

"It's okay to be scared sometimes."

"But not tonight. Tonight I'm supposed to be strong. I'm not supposed to let anyone know how I'm feeling."

"That is just ridiculous. We're here honoring your mother. You're entitled to be upset."

"But I don't want to be upset. I want to be strong."

"You can be strong. But you just have to remember that you have people who love you standing at your side. Your father is here. Lanie's here. The boys are here. I'm here. You're not alone, Kate."

"I don't know how I can do it," she said, beginning to hyperventilate. She couldn't remember the last time she felt like this. Kate felt as though her throat was closing and her heart began to beat erratically.

"Kate," said Castle, moving from beside her to kneeling in front of her. He grabbed her hands and held them tight. He forced her to look into his eyes. "Kate, do you feel that? Do you feel my warm hands on yours?"

Kate managed to nod. Her breathing was still shallow, so Castle continued to talk. "You know what you're going to do? You're going to go out there with me. I'll be supporting you the entire time. I'm not going to leave your side all night. We're going to step out, smile for the cameras and go meet your family."

Kate felt her eyes well with tears. Now was not a good time to begin to cry, but she seemed to not have a choice. Rick saw the tears and quickly grabbed a tissue from his pocket. He dabbed under her eyes, being careful as to not ruin her makeup. She hiccupped out a laugh, taking the tissue from him.

"I can do it, Castle," she said, smiling.

"I know you can, but see, now you're laughing."

Kate rolled her eyes and looked into his. "Thank you, Rick," she said sincerely.

"It's what partners are for. C'mon, there's a sea of reporters waiting to take a picture of you in that stunning dress."

She nodded and he knocked on the window, signaling that it was time to open the door.

"Ready?"

Kate took a deep breath. "As I'll ever be."

The door opened and Kate was blinded. There were many reporters taking hundreds of pictures, yelling her name and Rick's name. They were screaming insane questions about her personal life. It was only the third time she had walked the red carpet, and she hoped that it wouldn't become something she did often. The sheer amount of people was overwhelming and the flashbulbs made it extremely difficult to see.

"It's okay, Kate, I've got you," Castle whispered in her ear. She was grateful that he was talking to her, because it made walking the carpet less daunting. "You're going great. We're almost there."

They took their pose at the door before being led into the room with the rest of the family. It was considerably less noisy, and Kate could finally assess where she was.

"Hey sweetie," said Lanie, pulling Kate into an immediate hug. "How are you holding up?"

"Fine. I'm great," she answered, pulling away.

She took stock of the room and saw all the smiling faces. She smiled back and was glad to know that this was her family. It filled her heart with something that was warming than anything she had felt recently. It was love. Love for the people standing with her. Love for the relationships she had managed to forge. Love for the lengths to which they went to make this night special. Love for the man standing beside her.

There, she acknowledged it. She was in love with Castle. Kate turned to look at him and found that he was looking at her. She could tell that he knew. She could see it in his eyes.

Kate smiled, her happiness radiating out from every point of her body.

"Thanks guys, for everything." They returned her smile with smiles of their own. "Who's ready to go in?"

"Let's go," said Castle, mimicking her words.

Castle opened another set of doors that led straight into the ballroom.

"Wow," Kate breathed, looking all around her. She turned to Castle, who was guiding her by the arm. "This is amazing, Castle. Thank you."

"It was my pleasure, Detective," he answered, catching her eye. He smiled when he saw the tears glistening, making her green eyes shine.

Kate took another look at the room and the man standing next to her; she couldn't have imagined this moment more perfect had she tried.

**Hi again. I want to keep this short, but please review and let me know what you think. We're getting into fun territory, so woo hoo.**

**1. Don't well all wish we had someone chivalrous again? Gee, I mean what happened to men these days?**

**2. I'm currently working on a two or three shot surrounding the three words that Castle and Beckett are hiding from each other. I'll let you know when it's posted, and I'd love it if you'd read it and give me some feedback. Expect it within the next week-ish.**

**So yeah, that's about it. Please let me know what you think. I hope you enjoyed. Thank you to all my readers - you're the reason I write.**

**Reivew!**

**Best, Mangotango101**


	20. Chapter 20

**Oh, hey there! I know I promised this, like, three weeks ago, but life got in the way. Seriously, I couldn't have written this if I tried. Now that college apps are in and grades are due next week, I finally have a moment to breathe and finish this chapter. Also, I wanted it to be top par because of all the speeches and whatever. I just wanted to make sure that it was perfect before publishing. So, I hope this is worth the wait. (It's also the longest chapter ever, so woo hoo!)**

**I don't have much to say, so I won't, other than I'm Sorry, and please forgive me. **

**Let me know if you think that any of the people are out of character at any time - I really want to know.**

**Note to the executives at ABC - WHY ARE YOU MAKING US WAIT FOR KILL SHOT? Okay, I'm done. Happy reading!**

**Disclaimer: None of this is mine. Everything belongs to ABC Studios, AWM, and whoever actually owns Castle.**

**Chapter 20**

Kate was left breathless as her realization sunk in. She was in love with Richard Castle. Who would have guessed? After years of fantasizing about simply meeting him, he became her unconventional partner, and now, they were closer than ever.

She stood motionless, taking stock of the room, pushing her thoughts about Castle to the back of her mind. She had to be lucid, and thinking about Rick wasn't going to help.

The ball room looked like a scene from a movie. It was dimly lit with elegant place settings and décor. There was a string quartet playing softly in the background and shimmering flowers on almost every surface.

"What do you think?" Castle whispered in her ear.

"It's perfect. Thank you."

"It was my pleasure. Now come on, I have some people I want you to meet."

Rick pulled her arm gently, nudging her to towards a group of important looking people. Kate put on her best smile and prepared herself to meet hundreds of people that she didn't know and would never remember.

"Excuse me," said Castle, laying a hand on the arm of one of the men in suits. "Mr. Templeton, I would like you to meet Detective Kate Beckett, Johanna Beckett's daughter. Kate, this is Mr. Templeton, he is the dean of your mother's law school."

"A pleasure, Detective," said the graying man. He looked distinguished, and Kate could tell that he knew US law like the back of his hand.

"I'm off duty, Sir, so please, call me Kate."

"Well then, Kate, I'm so glad to finally meet you. You look just like your mother."

Kate took a deep breath. She knew that she would be facing conversations that would follow the same format, but it stung, and probably would sting with each person she met. Kate composed a reply that she decided she'd use for anyone who said something along the lines of what Mr. Templeton had said.

"Thank you, Sir," she said, inclining her head, hiding her blush.

"That was a compliment, Ms. Beckett."

Sensing her discomfort, Rick brought attention to him. "How are you enjoying the evening, Mr. Templeton?"

"It is lovely, Rick. When you called me I had no idea that it would be like this."

"I'm glad you're enjoying yourself. If you'll excuse us, we have many people to meet."

"Of course. Kate, it was a pleasure," he said, holding his hand out once more.

"The pleasure was mine," answered Kate, shaking his hand.

"C'mon, Kate, we've got other people to meet," said Rick, gently leading her further to the center of the room.

"How many?" she asked, taking a deep breath.

"Oh, I'm not sure," he said flippantly.

"Great."

Rick stopped walking and turned to face her. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine."

"Do you need a drink? You look like you need a drink."

Kate smiled. "Vodka would be great."

"This time it doesn't have to be water," said Rick, winking. He got lost in the crowd and Kate was left to her own devices. She didn't know where any of her colleagues were, but she assumed that they were enjoying themselves.

"Hey Katie," came a voice from behind her. Kate wheeled around and saw her father standing, looking slightly lost.

"Hey Dad. How are you enjoying the party so far?"

"It's wonderful. Rick is a great guy, Katie. You're lucky to have him."

Kate smiled at her dad, thinking about her latest revelation. "Yeah, I am."

"You're in love with him," observed Jim.

"What?" asked Kate, automatically. She hadn't meant to sound so defensive, but after years of denying it, it was her default response.

"Oh, don't try to lie to me, Katie. I can see it when you look at him. You may think that just because you're a tough homicide detective that you are good at keeping your emotions hidden, but let me tell you, Katie, it's written all over your face. To be honest, I've known since the first time you called to complain about him."

"I…"

"See?" said Jim, smiling. "A father always knows when his daughter is in love."

Kate simply rolled her eyes, but didn't deny it anymore.

"So when are you going to tell him?" Jim asked.

"What?" asked Kate, her eyes widening.

"Please, you're going to keep him in the dark? Katie, he's waited long enough, don't you think?"

"I can't just tell him that I love him, Dad," she cried.

"Why not? He deserves to know."

"Well, because…it's complicated."

"How?"

"We work together."

"So?"

"What if it doesn't work? What if he stops wanting to work with me?"

"Sweetie, if you live in fear of the 'what if's, you're not living at all," said Jim, laying a hand of Kate's arm. "If you need reassurance, go talk to Lanie. She'll tell you the same thing."

Kate opened and closed her mouth, looking like a fish.

"Trust me on this one, Katie."

She looked at her father appraisingly for a few seconds before smiling and pulling him into a hug. "Thanks Dad," she whispered in his ear.

"Anytime, Katie Bug."

Kate pulled away, surprised by the nickname. She could hardly remember the last time she had been called that.

"Here you go, Kate," said Castle, interrupting their moment. He handed her a glass of clear liquid paused, realizing that he just intruded. "Oh, I'm sorry, did I interrupt something?"

"Of course not, Rick," said Jim, smiling reassuringly. "I was just going. Thank you for tonight, it looks wonderful."

Jim walked away, passing by Kate's side. He whispered to her quietly, "Just don't let him go," before getting swallowed by the crowd.

"Thanks, Castle," said Kate, relieving him of the drink and downing it in one go.

"Whoa, slow down there, Beckett," replied Rick, taking the glass from her. "There's still a lot more to go tonight."

"Sorry, I just had an…interesting conversation with my dad."

"Care to share?"

Kate smiled, wishing she had to courage. "Not now. Maybe later though."

"Good enough for me. Now come on, we have to go say hi to the Mayor."

She rolled her eyes, but allowed herself to be led to where there was another group of men in tuxedos talking.

Castle's hand felt like fire where it was resting gently on her lower back. She felt each finger searing into her skin, making her slightly uncomfortable. She wished that they were alone so she could tell him what she was thinking. She wished she could tell him she loved him.

The night was more than she could have ever imagined, and she was grateful. She was impressed with the perfection of every detail in the function hall. Kate looked at Castle as he weaved through the crowd, being cautious not to crash into anyone. She appreciated the way his blue eyes darted around the room searching for his friend. She felt her stomach flip when she saw his muscles move under his jacket. She was flustered and slightly apprehensive about how easily Castle affected her. She usually had more control. Somehow, Castle managed to throw it all out the window.

"Enjoying the view, Detective?" teased Castle, turning took look at her, surprised to see her green eyes staring back.

"I was not," she cried, embarrassed that she had been caught.

"That's a shame."

"Castle," she scolded.

"Suit yourself. Oh look, there they are. Hey, Big Cheese!" greeted Castle, smiling broadly, holding his hand out to shake the Mayor's. The Mayor was standing in a group with Montgomery, Judge Markaway, and a couple other men Kate recognized from when she had to testify in court, but didn't know their names.

"How are you doing, Rick? This is a lovely event."

"Thank you. You remember my partner, Kate Beckett," said Castle, motioning to Kate.

"An honor, Mr. Mayor," said Kate, holding her hand out to shake.

"Of course I remember. And please, call me Bob."

Kate smiled and turned to Castle. He returned the smile and began to introduce Kate to the other men.

"I don't think I need to introduce you to Roy or Judge Markaway," teased Castle, nudging her in the ribs.

"No, I think we've met a couple times," replied Kate, sarcastically.

"You certainly are more fun when you're not on duty, Detective," said the Judge. Montgomery laughed and nodded in agreement.

"Whatever it takes to keep the warrants coming," answered Kate, winking. So far, she was enjoying the conversation, finding the men more entertaining when there wasn't a murderer in the picture.

"You look lovely, Kate," said Roy.

"Thank you, Captain. Where's your wife? I saw her earlier. I would like to tell her how beautiful I think her dress is."

"She went to get us some drinks, but that was a while ago. She probably got cornered by Dr. Parish," laughed Montgomery.

"I would expect nothing less. Excuse me, gentlemen, it was a pleasure to see you again," said Kate, inclining her head and turning to find her best friend.

"You did well, Rick," said the Mayor, nodding to where Kate had disappeared.

"If only you knew."

"Watch it, Castle. I still have the power to ban you from the precinct," said Montgomery with a smile in his voice.

"But you wouldn't do that. The Mayor here wouldn't be very happy with you," joked Castle, jerking his thumb at Bob.

"I wouldn't be happy Roy," added Bob, winking.

"I see I am overruled. Just be careful," sighed Montgomery, knowing that he would never really get rid of Castle.

"I always am. Enjoy yourselves, Gentlemen," said Castle, turning to find where Kate had gone off to. He walked over to their table where some friends from the Twelfth were standing around, chatting. Lanie was nestled in the crook of Esposito's arm and Ryan was gently playing with Jenny's hand.

Kate was standing on the outskirts, simply watching. Her heart was warmed at seeing her friends so happy. She was glad that she listened to Castle when he said that they were family, because once he did, she started looking at them like family. The more she did, the more comfortable she felt with them and being around them outside the workplace.

"Hey guys, how are you enjoying the party?" asked Castle loudly.

"Do you want to plan my wedding?" joked Ryan. "This is awesome."

"Very funny, but no thanks. I can hook you up with my wedding planner, though."

Jenny nodded, smiling brightly. "That would be great. I love what she did here, and it all seems to be gong very smoothly."

"Thank you Jenny, but, Ryan, I'll have you know…I won't plan your wedding, but your bachelor party…"

"You can't chose him, bro, I've known you longer," said Esposito, detaching himself from Lanie.

"Can you throw a party like this one?" Rick asked, blocking Esposito from Ryan.

"It's quality that matters, not quantity."

"Oh, I'm sure you believe that."

"Guys," said Ryan, stepping between them. "I'm not having this argument here. We can talk about it later. Man you two are immature."

Rick and Esposito looked at their friend as if he were crazy. "We just want you to have the best party possible," said Rick, trying to feign innocence.

"They're so ridiculous sometimes," Lanie whispered to Kate. Kate nodded in agreement, but couldn't take her eyes from Rick.

She knew that it was wrong to so blatantly stare at him, but she found that she couldn't help it. Ever since she had admitted to herself that she loved him, it was as if he were a magnate and nothing could keep her eyes from him. Everything that she had noticed over the past years – his eyes, his broad shoulders, his strong hands, his bright smile, his carefree laugh – was finally coming into her conscious thought. Now that she didn't have to feel guilty about thinking things about Castle, she couldn't help herself.

"Okay girl, you've been making eyes at Writer Boy all night. What's going on between you two," said Lanie. Kate jerked from her thoughts and saw that not only was Lanie looking at her expectantly, but Jenny and Montgomery's wife was as well.

"What?" she asked, doing the exact thing that she scorned upon in the box – going on the defensive.

"Kate, it's pretty obvious that you have something with Rick over there," added Jenny.

"Um…" said Kate, still not sure what to say.

"It's okay, Kate, it took me years to admit that I had feelings for Roy. But when I did, it was magic," said Evelyn.

"You're supposed to be encouraging her, not telling her that it's okay to wait longer," teased Lanie.

"Guys," said Kate, trying to get their attention. "It's complicated."

"Uh huh, that's what you always say," Lanie said.

"Well it's true!"

"Sweetie, it would be easier for all of us if you just admitted that you are in love with Writer Boy. Then we can all stop beating around the bush."

"It's not like it's a group event," teased Kate. "I'll decide what to do when I'm ready."

"But you're not denying that you're in love with him."

"I never said that."

"Lanie, relax. I bet when Kate gets it together, you'll be the first to know," said Jenny, jumping in on Kate's behalf.

"Thank you, Jenny."

"No problem," the blonde said, laughing.

"Let me tell you this, Kate," said Evelyn, speaking in a maternal way. "Don't wait too long. Time will pass quickly enough, and you don't want to look back and wonder if you waited too long."

Kate thought about what Montgomery's wife said and realized that she was right. Who knew how much time they would have, or how long Rick was willing to wait? Kate knew that she had to make her move soon, but she just didn't know how.

"Thanks, that's really good advice."

"As a mother of three, I've learned how to give advice."

"Your kids are lucky to have you."

"Thank you, Kate."

"Hello, girls, what are you guys conspiring about this time?" asked Rick with a laugh.

"Nothing," said Lanie, shooting Kate a significant glance. Rick also looked to Kate who rolled her eyes.

"Yeah, nothing."

"Okay," said Rick, not fully believing her. "Would you care to dance, Detective?"

Kate's heart sped at the thought of being so close to Rick, but she couldn't say no. "I would be honored."

Rick took her hand lightly and led her to the dance floor. The music changed to a slower piece. Rick swung Kate so she was facing him. He placed on hand on her lower back and the other in her outstretched hand. She placed a hand on his shoulder and he pulled them closer. They were nearly flush against each other and Kate could feel his erratic heart beat under his tux.

Kate's heart wasn't beating very steadily either. Being so close to Rick was overwhelming to her. She was glad that she could finally succumb to the feelings that were building inside her, but she also felt as though she were about to explode. Her stomach was twisting and her heart was flipping. She felt like she was in high school again.

They swayed to the music slowly, letting each note find a place in their core. Kate relaxed into his embrace, resting her head on his shoulder. She breathed in his scent that was apples, spice, and something so uniquely Castle that she couldn't describe it if she tried. She felt his warm breath on her neck, and it sent shivers up her spine. She could feel every place where their bodies were touching and she was glad that they could finally be in this position. She felt closer to him than she had in a very long time.

While they were dancing, she thought about what it would be to be in a relationship with him. She couldn't decide if it would work or not. Simply being in love with him and him reciprocating the feelings was enough to make her head spin. Sometimes it was hard for her to fathom that everything between them was real. Here he was, a famous mystery author (one of her favorites) who had helped her get through her mother's murder. She never imagined that she would be meeting him on a more personal level than a book signing, yet here she was, safe in his arms, swaying to a slow dance at a fundraiser in honor of her mother.

"How are you holding up?" he whispered into her ear. She took a deep breath that he was sure to have felt. It spoke greater than words. "Mm," he answered to her non-verbal reply. "Not too overwhelming yet?" Again, she bypassed words and simply shook her head. "I'm glad. Are you ready to give your speech?" She couldn't find a way to express herself without words, so she took her head from his shoulder and turned to face him.

It was a mistake.

She couldn't remember what she was going to say if she tried. She got lost in his blue eyes. They had had many of these moments before, but this was the first one since she admitted to herself that she was in love with him. The feelings were almost too intense for her to bear. She was overwhelmed by the concern and love that was portrayed in his eyes. Her breath hitched and she wished that they were alone. If they were, she wouldn't have been able to stop herself from kissing him if she tried.

But they weren't alone. They were on a dance floor with hundreds of other people, so Kate settled for breaking the eye contact.

"As ready as I'll ever be," she answered, replacing her head on his shoulder. It was an un-Beckett like action, but she was feeling slightly lost at the large function and emotionally unstable. She needed the solid mass that Castle's shoulder provided.

Rick was glad that Kate was feeling able to lay her head on him. He was relishing in the feel of it and wished that it could happen more often. She felt perfect under his hands, and he was amazed at how wonderful she looked and how well she was holding up through the night. He held her close, not knowing when he would be able to do it again, taking advantage of the dance to feel how perfectly they fit together.

He smelled her hair and was glad to find that it did not smell of various hair products, but rather simply her shampoo and conditioner. It gave him a sense of calm that she smelled the same as she did when they were at work. In a night where everything was a little bit backwards, it was good to have something stay the same.

All through the night, Rick felt her eyes on him, and he was glad that she was finally coming to terms with the feelings that had been pent up inside for so long. He could tell that she had admitted to herself that she was in love with him, and already it was making their dynamic so much better. If only she would act on it. Then things would be perfect.

Even if she didn't, it didn't stop him from loving her any less. He would wait for her until the world ended. In the few relationships that he had tried to have as a distraction, none of them worked – all he could do was compare them to Kate and none of them lived up to her standards. It felt wrong to him to be with another woman, so he would wait as long as it took for her to voice her opinions.

"Hey," he said, trying to get her attention. "I'm going to tell everyone that dinner is served and that you dad is going to give his speech. Then you, then me, is that okay?"

"Yeah," she said, pulling from his arms. She felt cold when she no longer had his arms wrapped around hers, and it scared her that they weren't even together and she already felt vulnerable without him near.

"'Kay. Go sit down, I'll be there in a minute."

"Just because you planned this, doesn't mean that you get to boss me around," she teased, smiling, relieving some of the tension.

"Funny," he said, walking towards the stage.

She went to the table and was assaulted by Lanie. "Girl, you and Castle were having some pretty serious eye sex over there. Now what's going on?"

"Nothing," Kate said, trying to get Lanie off her back.

"Please, you're going to be the death of me."

"Will you at least let me tell him first?" she asked, knowing admitting it would be the only way to get Lanie to stop bugging her about it.

"What? So you're actually saying that you like him?"

"It's a little more than that, Lanie, but yes."

"I'm so happy for you sweetheart."

Kate rolled her eyes went to find her dad.

"Hey Dad," she said. "You ready?"

"Yeah. I saw you and Rick dancing earlier. I can't wait to see it again, only with you in a white dress."

"Dad," cried Kate.

"Don't try to deny it, Katie. Oh, I'm up," he said after Rick announced Jim's name. "Wish me luck."

"Good luck, Dad, I know you'll do her proud."

Jim turned and gave her one last smile and Rick came to take his recently vacated seat. "Hey, you ready?"

"Yeah, I guess."

Rick smiled and gently lay his hand of hers. She didn't move, glad to have the support while her father gave his speech.

"Good evening everyone, thank you for coming. As Rick said, I am Jim Beckett, and Johanna was my wife. Tonight, I am going to tell you a little about Johanna, because she was a woman who was worth knowing.

"Johanna had an immutable law of the universe which was: Life doesn't give you anything that you can't handle. For a while, I thought she had failed me, because after her death, I didn't think that I could handle it. I didn't think that I could move on and find the will to live again. My daughter, Kate, was the one who got me back on track. And since then, my faith has been restored in my love.

"It was a long road to get where I am now, and it was not easy. I fell into a depression after Johanna left, and it took everything I had, and some of what I didn't to get out of it. I've been sober for seven years now, and it feels great.

"But I want to tell you about Johanna and about why I fell in love with her. I want to give you an idea of what she was like, even if you never met her. When she walked into a room, everything lit up. She had an aura around her that radiated kindness and compassion. She was a criminal lawyer, so she had to be harsh sometimes, but everyone knew that it was only in her client's best interest. After a case, if she were really hard on a witness in a cross examination, she would offer to take them for a drink or a milk shake, if they were under age. She wanted them to know that even though she was hard in the court room, she truly cared about people.

"Every night, she would come home. Sometimes, she wouldn't make it home in time to make Katie dinner, but she always got home in time for bed time. She was a workaholic, but she cared about her family and her friends just as much. She would take time off of work in a heartbeat if need be, regardless of how much paperwork she had to get done. To Johanna, family came first.

"She instilled values in our daughter that are more valuable than I ever gave credit. She taught our daughter more than I could have hoped. She showed our daughter how to rise above the harsh reality of New York life and live like a regular kid. She understood that life was not always easy, but when we got through it, she would always say 'I told you so.'"

Jim paused, collecting himself. His eyes were burning with tears, but he refused to let them fall. Everything he was saying was important for people to know how amazing his wife was, but it was hard for him to talk about it. It still opened a gaping wound inside that he had spent years trying to cover up. He was laying his heart out there, and he was hoping that somewhere, Johanna was listening to him, and thinking about him the same amount he was thinking about her."

"I don't have much more to say about Johanna other than she was a wonderful person," he continued, his voice thick with tears. "Time passed too quickly. We thought that we would have all the time in the world, because no one thinks that a tragedy like this will happen to them. There are so many things that we didn't get to do and so many places we did not get to see. But in every experience and every moment of my life, Johanna is by my side, taking the wild ride with me.

"Tonight is a night to honor her life and what she did. It is a time when we should think about what is wrong with this world and think about how we can change it. There are some people that others would call 'lost causes,' but to Johanna, they were another person who deserved justice. Because everyone deserves a shot at having a happy ending, with family, with friends, with life.

"Thank you."

Jim stepped off the podium, tears silently making slow tracks down his cheeks. He had not missed his Jo that much in years. Kate met him at the base of the stage and enveloped him in a hug.

"That was beautiful, Dad," she said, her voice also thick with tears.

"I was just telling the truth, Katie Bug." Kate nodded into his collar, not trusting herself to look for the one face she wanted to find. "Your turn, Katie. Knock 'em dead, okay?"

Kate laughed shortly. "Okay, Dad."

"Kate, you ready?" asked Castle, laying a gently hand of her shoulder. She shook her head to clear it and nodded.

"Yeah, let's do this."

Rick gave her an encouraging smile before helping her onto the stage. Kate heard him say something into her ear, but she couldn't tell what. She couldn't hear anything except the blood rushing through her head. It was getting louder and louder, drowning every other thought.

This was the moment she had been waiting for. The moment that she had been preparing for since her mother died – the moment to tell her story.

Kate took a deep breath and looked out into the crowd. She saw Rick's smiling face and felt the courage she needed to begin.

"Milk and graham crackers waiting on the table when you come home from school. Hot chocolate being poured after building a grey snowman on the sidewalk. A reassuring pat on the shoulder before leaving for school in the morning. A kiss on the forehead when you experience a disappointment. Curling up under a blanket when you're cold. Having a shoulder to cry on when you experience your first broken heart. Being tucked in at night, feeling safe. These are the memories that we have from a time when life was easier – a time when we still had our innocence. Had I known that one day these memories would be tainted with sadness and anger, then maybe I would have worked harder to keep them."

Kate took another deep breath and saw Rick giving her a thumbs up from his seat. She almost laughed controlled her emotions enough to continue.

"Since my mother was murdered twelve years ago, I have struggled with finding a way to remember her and to do her justice. I knew from the start that I would want to honor her legacy, but I was at a loss. I did not know how.

"What is a legacy? What does it mean to honor a memory? It means taking every lesson that you learned and every value that was impressed upon you, and applying it in everything you do and in every action you take. It means reminding yourself that there is more in the world than just you and that there are always reasons to be happy.

"I was broken for years after my mother was murdered. The NYPD declared her case cold after not getting any leads. I wouldn't have that. I needed justice. I needed closure. I made a promise to my father and to myself that I would catch the man who tore our family apart; I became an NYPD homicide detective. I convinced myself that if I could just get a hold of her case file, then I could solve her murder. I would see something that someone missed. I would crack the case open and prove that it wasn't cold.

"The first time I read it, I was overwhelmed. I was a beat cop at the time. I didn't know how much went into a homicide investigation. There were interviews, interrogation notes, coroners reports, pictures, phone records, financial records, everything. But it wasn't enough. I knew that there was something missing – that something wasn't adding up. So I memorized it. I learned every letter and every picture in that file. But I failed. I failed to find the man who murdered my mother."

Kate felt tears welling in her eyes. She remembered that feeling of helplessness that came with not being able to find the missing piece. She remembered the nights that she cried herself to sleep because she was alone and didn't have to be strong for anyone. She remembered the rabbit hole that she started to fall into and that she hardly escaped from. But her story had to be told, so she carried on.

"Until a year ago, when that same man became the prime suspect in a murder investigation. He said that he was only acting on orders, but he was the one who ended her life. I wanted to feel a sense of relief, but all I could feel was frustration. Frustration at the idea that I caught the man, but he wasn't the one I wanted. He was going to tell me who he worked for, but I had to shoot him. I was overcome with despair; I had severed the last lead that could lead to who orchestrated the plan for her death. But I had to kill him. I did it to protect my partner.

"I learned at that moment what it truly meant to honor my mother's memory. I realized that it wasn't about giving closure to families. It wasn't about catching murderers, hoping to avenger her death. It was about finding what she wanted most for me. Happiness."

Kate saw Rick smile and felt her heart beat faster. He was her happiness.

"Unfortunately, it took another man's life for me to learn this lesson. But I did. Once I realized that being happy was the best way to avenge my mother's killer, I began to look for happiness. I reached out farther to my team at the Twelfth Precinct. I made an effort to find joy in life. For the first time in ten years, I was truly living.

"Living…loving…dreaming…that's what it means to honor someone's memory. Now that I know that, I can finally start honoring my mother – properly.

"Thank you."

The audience clapped loudly, and Kate could see Martha wiping her eyes. In fact, there was hardly a dry eye in the room. Kate felt proud that she finally found the right words to express her feelings. It had been hard, opening up to people she didn't know, but it had been the right thing to do.

"Good job Kate, I knew you would find the right words," said Rick as he helped her off the stage. She smiled in gratitude.

"Thank you for helping me," she said.

"Not a problem. Now go, I think your dad wants a word."

Kate turned and began to walk back to her friends. People stopped her on the way to shake her hand and to offer words of encouragement. She smiled and nodded at each of them, wishing that she could be with her friends and family.

"Well done, Katie," said Jim, when she made it back to the table. Kate smiled and hugged her dad.

"Thank you."

"Katie, are you okay?" asked Jim, pulling back from the hug. "You're shaking."

Kate looked surprised for a moment before she realized that it was true. She was shaking and she found that suddenly her knees wouldn't support her. She sank into the closest chair and began to take deep breaths. She let all the emotion that she was keeping pent up during the speech out and it affected her more than she thought.

"Are you okay, Sweetie?" asked Lanie, seeing Kate's ashen face and hurrying over. Kate couldn't do much else but nod.

Castle was about to go up to give his speech when he saw Lanie crouched in front of Kate who was sitting hunched over. Everyone was watching her concerned, but they were giving her some space.

He cleared his throat into the microphone and began. "Sorry for the interruption, but there will be a small break before the next speaker. In the mean time, enjoy your dinner," he said quickly. As soon as he could, he dashed off the stage and wove his way to Kate.

"Hey, what's wrong?" he asked when he got there. Lanie looked up and stood, allowing for Rick to be near Kate.

"I don't know," said Lanie as they were switching places. "She got back and her dad said she was shaking and then she sat down. She hasn't spoken a word since."

"Okay," said Castle, kneeling down to be eye level with Kate. "Tell the others that I've got this."

Lanie nodded and told everyone that Castle was dealing with it.

"Hey, Kate," said Rick, trying to get Kate to lift her head. "Kate, it's me, Rick." He grasped her hands and felt that they were clammy and cold. He moved his hands to her arms, trying to get her to acknowledge his presence. He felt her shaking and redoubled his attempts to get her to listen.

"Kate, can you hear me?" he asked, searching her face for recognition. After a minute, she finally lifted her head. "Oh, Kate, thank god. What's wrong. Talk to me," he said, sounding desperate.

"I-I don't know," she stuttered. Her breaths were coming fast and shallow. "I was fine, and then…and then I just started sh-shaking, and now I can't b-breath," she managed to get out.

"Shh, shh, it's okay. You're having a panic attack. I think all the sharing finally got to you," he said, half joking. Kate managed to smile at his attempts to be funny.

"Your speech was beautiful. Really," he said, trying to get her breath to even out.

"Rick, I—" she began. She was cut off by a hiccup of air. She felt tears welling in her eyes, but she really didn't want to cry. She had done so well so far that night – she didn't want to lose it after everything.

"Should we go somewhere more private?" he asked, grasping her hands again.

"No, I think I'm going to be okay," she said, her voice still wavering.

"It's okay to cry, you know," he told her.

"I'm fine now. I just wish that I didn't break down like this," she said.

"It's perfectly normal. You just shared a very personal part of your life with people that you don't know very well and they were all saying commendable things about it and it overwhelmed you. It's nothing to be ashamed of."

Kate smiling wanly, brushing a hand over her face to clear her thoughts. "Thanks," she said.

"Anytime. Now, I'm going to go beg for money. Are you going to be okay?" he asked, standing up.

"Yeah, I'll be fine."

He smiled, patted her hands one last time and made his way back to the stage. His heart was breaking that she felt that vulnerable, but he was glad that she was finally opening up to him. He was glad that she trusted him enough to let him in more often than usual. He frequently thought about where they began three years prior and where they had gotten to, and he was amazed. He was grateful that she had accepted him, because if she hadn't, he didn't know where he would be.

He took that first step onto the stage and he began to feel a little panicky himself. He was nervous about making his speech, and he was nervous about its reception. But he was a writer, and he had a way with words. It had taken him a while, but he had finally found the right words to express what he wanted to say.

Rick took his stand behind the podium and looked out to the crowd. He couldn't see much because of the lights, but he could see Kate smiling at him. She had bounced back faster than he thought possible, but he guessed that it must be some super-ninja-Jedi-detective thing that she had going on. With a smile on his face, he began his speech.

"Welcome to everyone and thank you so much for being here tonight. As an author, I make my living using words, but when I sat down to write this speech, the words did not come. Perhaps it is the tender nature of this topic, or perhaps it is because it is impossible to capture a person in only words."

The crowd chuckled at the thought of Richard Castle not being able to capture a person in words.

Rick smiled, preparing himself for the next part of the speech. "Maybe I phrased that wrong. There is no way to capture Johanna Beckett in words. As you have heard from her daughter and husband, she was an extraordinary woman. Whatever I say cannot do her justice, pun intended."

The crowd laughed again, this time a bit louder. Kate began to relax into her seat a little bit. She knew that this would be an important speech, because Castle was the one who had to convince people that this was a good cause to support. Money was a delicate topic, no matter how one goes about it. Kate was grateful that Rick was infusing humor into it, just as he did with everything else.

"I am not going to stand before you and tell you more about Johanna, because it would be futile. I never met her, although I feel like I know her through her daughter, Kate. From following Kate and assisting her, I have seen a glimpse of the perseverance and the passion that Johanna brought to her law firm. Johanna wished that every single person had the option of being brought to justice.

"We all live here, in New York, and we've all been effected in one way or another by the violence and the crime in this city. We all love New York – it is our home and where we have chosen to raise our families. But imagine that you could walk down the street without fear of being mugged. Imagine a time when you can let your children play in the park without fear that something will happen to them.

"Now think of your children or your nieces, nephews, cousins, or siblings. We all are born with innocence and curiosity. We remember those days when the simplest Popsicle stick building was the highlight of our day. We remember when we were excited because our parents were making Mac and cheese for dinner. We remember that time when all we had to do to feel beautiful was put on a superhero costume or a ballerina tutu.

"We live in a world where that is not the reality for every child. There are people who grow up with nothing and who don't have moments to recall when times get tough. Unfortunately, those same people can get in trouble with the law or rebel and make our streets unsafe. They are the people we fear our children ever encountering.

"Johanna Beckett did everything in her power to destroy that stereotype as well as diminish the violence in the streets. She worked to reform the criminal law system so everyone, no matter the background, has a chance to receive the resources and the chance of justice that they deserve.

"We are here tonight to honor her legacy. I, along with Johanna's old law school, am beginning a scholarship in her name that will give a full ride to any student who agrees to dedicate his or her life to those in the legal system without a voice. To those whom Johanna Beckett championed."

Rick paused to look at Kate. Their eyes met and she smiled that gorgeous smile of hers. Rick smiled back and continued his speech, getting ready for the last joke.

"That being said, I have some good news and I have some bad news. The good news is that we have all the resources and all the funding required to make this scholarship a reality. We can honor Johanna's legacy by doing what her career depended on. But the bad news is that all the funding and all the resources are still in your pockets."

Rick paused, waiting for the laughing to die out. "You have the power to make a difference. I am asking you to open your hearts and help better the city that you love. If not for Johanna, do it for all the people that you will help and that you will give a voice. Because everyone deserves to be heard.

"Thank you."

Rick stepped off the dais and walked back to the table where his friends were waiting. The boys stood to give him a handshake and his mother pulled him into a hug. Jim Beckett stood to the side, waiting for the initial congratulations to finish. Rick saw Jim's face and approached him slowly, almost reverently.

"I hope that I did her justice," said Rick, shaking Jim's hand.

"You did more than that. Thank you," answered Jim, putting his hand over their joined ones. "I think someone else is waiting to congratulate you."

Rick turned and saw Kate standing, smiling with tears in her eyes. He went to her and before he could get a word out, she threw her arms around him. He was taken aback, since that was not something Kate had ever done before, but he returned the embrace none the less.

"Will you come with me? I want to talk to you," she said into his ear. His heart beat faster, hoping that his was the moment they had both been waiting for.

Rick nodded and she took his hand.

They walked to a side room, and Kate closed the door. "Is everything okay?" Rick asked, worried that he did something wrong.

"Yeah, Rick, everything is fine."

Kate took a deep breath and began to pace. She was about to dive into that pool, but she wasn't sure if she was ready. She had been watching him all night and accepting that she loved him all night, but now that it was the moment of truth, she didn't know if she could go through with it.

"Did I do something wrong?" he asked, still concerned. He stood and tried to gently touch her arms to bring her back to earth.

"No, you were perfect. Everything was perfect tonight, thank you," she said, pausing in her pacing for a moment.

"Kate, hey, look at me," he said, gently taking her into his arms. She refused to look at him. She was embarrassed and scared that he would reject her.

Rick was frightened. Kate took him into a side room and then wouldn't look at him. As an author, he began to think up the worst case scenarios – she didn't want him to shadow her anymore, she didn't love him, she found someone else, she didn't ever want to see him again. His heart beat quickly, and his mind raced, each thought creating a new panic.

He put one hand securely on her back, trapping her so she was close to him. He took the other hand and rested it under her chin, forcing her to meet his eyes. His breath was taken away by the beauty of her bright green eyes, but also concerned because there was fear in her eyes.

"What's wrong?" he asked again.

"I—" she began. "Tonight was so perfect, Rick."

He took note of the usage of his first name.

"I'm not a bestselling author…I'm not as eloquent as you—"

"That's okay, it's just me. Tell me what's on your mind."

Kate sighed. She knew that this was the moment she was going to tell Rick that she was in love with him. She was going to do it.

"I don't really know how to say this, but…after tonight, and after seeing everything you did for me, I came to a realization."

Rick's heart beat faster every passing word. He didn't want to get his hopes up, but he couldn't help himself. He wanted so desperately for her to say what he wanted her to say, but he didn't know if she was going to.

"During the Killingsworth-O'Leary case, I realized something about you. You notice everything. Everything that you did for me while we were working that case was so thoughtful and it meant so much to me. The cupcake, the Advil, the pizza, and just being there for me. I can't think of any simpler way to put this, but…"

Tears welled in her eyes. She couldn't believe that she was about to say what she was about to say. Her emotions were taking over her body.

"What?" he asked, pushing a stray piece of hair behind her ear.

"Rick, I'm in love with you."

Relief flooded her body and she never realized how much it was weighing her down not to tell him. She waited with baited breath, hoping that he would say the same thing. Her heart beat erratically, waiting. A full minute passed, and she began to panic.

"Rick, say something, please."

"Kate, I don't know how long I've waited for you to say that." He began to laugh. He was so happy that she said it. It filled him with such unbridled joy that he just wanted to scream from the Empire State Building that Kate Beckett was in love with him. "I love you, too."

He pulled her closer and her eyes flicked to his lips. She knew what was coming, yet she couldn't comprehend that it was happening. She was about to kiss Richard Castle.

He leaned closer and she met him half way. Their lips met, softly at first. She could hardly tell they were touching, but it ignited a fire within her that she had never felt before – not will Royce, not with Demming, and certainly not with Josh. It warmed her from the heart and radiated outwards and the inwards again, making her fingers tingle and her toes curl.

She pulled back and stared into Rick's eyes. They were shining with tears, just as were hers. She leaned in again and kissed him with all the passion in her body. She ran her hands through his hair and felt a new round of tingles when his tongue dipped into her mouth. She was in heaven.

Rick didn't know what was happening. He was finally kissing the girl of his dreams. The one he hoped to make a life with. The one he hoped to die with. She was amazing. After years of fantasizing and dreaming, he couldn't believe he was here. The real thing (not the undercover real thing) was so much better than his fantasies that he didn't know what he would do if he lost her now. He relished in every moment of it, pulling her closer until there was no space between them. His heart was overflowing with love and emotion that he couldn't help but feel the tears leaking out of his eyes, mingling with hers.

Kate felt the tears racing down her cheeks, but she didn't even know why she was crying. She just knew that the feelings were overwhelming. She felt like she was drowning in them. She felt like she was getting lost.

She pulled away abruptly, looked at Rick, turned, and ran out of the room. Rick didn't see her again that night.

**Haha, bet you didn't see that coming, eh? Don't worry - it'll be a fun ride. Now that school has lessened (thank god) I'll be able to write more often, hopefully getting back to my once a week thing. I'm in a write-y mood, so I might post that other story that I'm almost finished with.**

**I don't have much to say, but please review and tell me what you think of the speeches and the chapter in general. I really hope I did it justice.**

**Review please...it will help me write faster. Thank you to everyone who reviewed/favorited/or alerted this story - you're the reason I write. Have a great week, mangotango101**


	21. Chapter 21

**Oh, hey there! Sorry this took so long, but it was really emotional, so I couldn't write it in one sitting. I hope you enjoy. A couple things before we begin.**

**1. There are a couple parts of this that I'm not sure what the reception will be by you, so I really want you to let me know what you think.**

**2. Don't expect the lengths to stay this long - they will go back to the 5000-6000 mark after this chapter. Writing 9000+ words is draining and time consuming, and I hate to keep you guys waiting.**

**3. Wasn't Kill Shot amazing? I wish I were as good as those guys, but since that's not possible, this will have to suffice.**

**Disclaimer: This is not mine, nor will it ever be. Any recognizable characters belong to ABC, AWM, and whoever actually owns _Castle_. I am not making any monetary gain from this, so please don't sue. No copyright infringement is intended.**

**Chapter 21**

"My goodness, Richard, you look like you just saw a ghost," said Martha dramatically as Rick came back into the main dance hall. He looked gaunt and dazed, as if he didn't know where he was. Truth be told, he didn't. One minute he was kissing the love of his life, and the next minute he was watching her leave, unable to find his voice to call her back. He didn't know why she left, but he wanted to. He assumed it had something to do with her internal wall and her habit of running when emotions got too real, but he thought that she had gotten past some of that, especially the way she had been looking and acting earlier in the night. He assumed that she was ready to finally dive into it together.

But clearly not.

"Dad, are you okay?" asked Alexis, running to her father. Castle moved sluggishly, his eyes unfocused and red rimmed. "Dad?"

"What? Sorry, pumpkin," said Rick. His voice was scratchy, as if he hadn't used it in days. It looked as though it took an unbelievable amount of energy to get out the three words.

"What happened?"Alexis tried again.

Rick didn't answer; he couldn't find his voice.

"Richard Castle, what the _hell_ happened in there?" demanded Lanie, stalking up to Castle, her hair bouncing, and her eyes shooting fire. Her gait and heels making her seem taller than she actually was. "First Kate comes running out of there, tears streaming down her face. I tried to get her to stop and talk to me, but she shook me off. Then you come out here, looking like someone just killed your puppy and unable to talk. Jim ran after Kate, but he is less than pleased with you."

Rick's eyes became more forlorn. He didn't want to hear the things coming out of Lanie's mouth, because they hurt. None of them knew what really happened in that room. None of them knew that it was really Kate who was the one who ran. Kate broke his heart, not the other way around.

"You don't understand," he began to explain.

"Do you care to enlighten us?"

Everyone was watching Rick and Lanie. None of them had the guts to stand up to Lanie, knowing that her temper was just under boiling point. They didn't want to be on the other end of Lanie's wrath. Ryan held Jenny closer, his knuckles beginning to turn white against her waist. Esposito was staring at Castle so harshly that the latter could feel the pain that Esposito would inflict of him when they were alone. Montgomery just looked disappointed. Rick found that he couldn't make eye contact with any of them – their displeasure was nearly tangible.

The other people at the fundraiser did not notice what was happening within the group of friends – they were still dancing, talking quietly, and milling about. A couple had noticed that there seemed to be a disagreement happening, but they knew that it wasn't their business.

"I—I can't," said Rick, looking around the room, hoping against hope that Kate would still be there. But of course she wasn't. He had missed his chance.

Without a backward glance, he made a beeline to the bar. He could hear Lanie following him, but he didn't turn. He didn't want to tell them that Kate had said she loved him, kissed him senseless, and then walked away. It hurt too much to even think about.

"Double shot of vodka, please," he croaked to the bartender. The man gave Rick an apprehensive look, but went to prepare the drink. Castle could still feel Lanie's eyes boring holes into the back of his head, but he didn't turn. Instead, he leaned on the bar and laid his head in his hands. He tried desperately to keep more tears at bay, but it was getting harder as the minutes ticked by.

Rick heard a clink and saw the glass of clear liquid. He lifted his head high enough to down the shot in one swallow, breathing in deeply as he slammed it down on the bar.

It gave him a moment of relief when the liquid made a path of fire down his throat. For a moment he couldn't feel and he couldn't think. He wanted to numb everything. He didn't want to hurt anymore.

All too soon, that welcome reprise was gone and the emotions hit him harder than before. His stomach bubbled in anger and blood rushed through his head, blocking out all other noise. He was consumed by her – by the smell of her hair, by the taste of her lips. Everywhere he looked he saw something that reminded him of her, or something that reminded him that they could never be together because she kept running.

It made him angry. No, it made him furious. He could hardly see straight. His vision was tunneling until the only thing he could see was the last drop of liquor in his shot glass. He lifted it to his lips, eyes closed, begging for that last drop to vanquish all feeling from inside him. He felt the moisture reach his mouth but was discouraged when it did nothing but make him more irritated.

He wanted to keep it inside. He wanted to save his outburst until he got home when it would be socially acceptable to scream and kick and act like a child. But the emotions were filling him, dragging him under; pulling him in the undertow. There was no way to stop it. It was too strong.

"Damn her!" he screamed loudly, his hands beginning to shake. He wanted desperately to throw the glass and hear, with satisfaction, the shattering pieces as they fell to the ground. But he contained himself – just barely. The glass almost slipped from his grip, his hands were shaking so hard.

He felt a soft set of hands gently taking the empty glass from him and setting it far away. He saw a head of dark hair, and he knew that it wasn't Kate. He knew that it was Lanie. He cursed himself for even thinking that it might be Kate who was there to comfort him. Of course it wouldn't be – she ran.

"What did I do, Lanie?" he said, so differently than his prior outburst that Lanie was taken aback. "Why can't I ever do it right?" He sounded helpless and small. He fell to the bar stool and seemed to shrink into himself. His demeanor changed so drastically, Lanie almost didn't know how to approach him. Would he blow up again? Would he cry on her shoulder? Lanie was good with dead people and girls, but not broken hearted guys.

She took a deep breath, and did what she had to do. She put aside her anger at Rick for making her best friend cry and tried to separate herself from her own emotions, even though it was very hard for her. Lanie took the bar stool next to Rick's and reached for his clasped hands, wiggling her hand between his head and the bar. In response, he lifted his head, looking at her with forlorn eyes.

"Do you want to tell me what happened?" she asked gently, clasping his hands in hers. As annoyed at him as she was, her heart couldn't help but go out to him. She wished there was something she could do.

Rick was silent for a moment, contemplating how to explain to Lanie what happened in the room. He didn't want to tell her everything, but he had to find the words to tell her. On top of his helplessness towards Kate, he felt at a loss because he built his life on words and they escaped him when he needed them most.

"She pulled me aside…I thought it was going well…she…we…and now…" he stuttered out.

"Did she tell you how she feels?" asked Lanie. She assumed that it would be the only way she could get through to him; she would have to initiate the conversation.

Rick nodded.

"Then what happened?"

Rick stared ahead, not able to bring himself to say that they kissed.

"Did you kiss?"

Rick nodded, tears welling in his eyes. He didn't want to be at the bar, wishing that alcohol would erase his pain. He wanted to be in her arms, holding her, and treasuring her like she should be.

Lanie kept herself in check on the outside, but inside she was bubbling over with joy that Kate had finally admitted to Rick what they had been seeing for years. She was excited that they kissed for real; she knew that it had to happen sooner. What she hadn't expected was this reaction.

"She was the one who ran," said Lanie, her intended question coming out more like a statement. Rick nodded in affirmation. Lanie took a deep breath – that changed everything. She wasn't as angry with Rick any more, but she was annoyed with her friend. It had taken Kate long enough to gather the courage to tell Rick how she felt, and as soon as she does, she's bolting again. After Lanie was finished with Rick, she would be sure to drive herself to Kate's apartment and talk some sense in to her.

"Don't worry, Castle, she'll come to her senses," reassured Lanie. "She loves you more than you can know."

Castle didn't make any outward gestures to imply that he had comprehended, or even heard, what Lanie had just said. "I should go," he said, almost absentmindedly. "Tell mother and Alexis that I went home and not to worry."

Rick got up and left without a backwards glance. Lanie ran her hand through her hair, closed her eyes, and sighed. It was going to be a long next couple of days.

* * *

><p>"Katie!" called Jim as he rushed after his daughter. "Katie, wait."<p>

She burst out onto the sidewalk where it was misting rain. Kate knew that she was ruining the dress, but she couldn't find it in her to care. She ran to the curb and stretched out her hand to hail a cab. Dozens passed without stopping.

"Kate," said Jim, panting. He rested his hands on his thighs, trying to catch his breath. "Tell me what happened in there." He was furious with Rick for making his daughter feel that way, but deep down, Jim knew that it was Kate who had been the one to run. No father would want to imagine that their daughter was inflicting such pain upon herself, so Jim tried to blame it on Rick. But he knew that it wasn't the writer.

She ignored her father, still desperately trying to hail a cab. Her hair was falling out of its curls as the rain weighed it down. She felt the drops mingle with her tears and was glad that no one would be able to tell the difference.

"Katherine Beckett, you look at me right now," said Jim in a voice Kate hadn't heard in years. He grabbed the arm that wasn't stretched towards the street and pulled her back under the awning of the function hall.

"Dad, I don't want to talk about it."

"Well you're going to," he said. He was being harsher than he thought was strictly necessary, but he needed her to know that her actions were unacceptable.

"I'm not a teenager anymore," she protested, yanking her arm from his grasp. "You don't control me." Kate couldn't remember the last time she had been that snooty and obnoxious with her father. Part of her was glad for the reason to rid herself of some of the anger she felt, but a part of her, a larger part, felt bad for snapping at her father.

"Katie, please talk to me," her father tried once more.

Her resolve broke. She tried so hard to not let him convince her to talk, because really, all she wanted to do was go home, curl up in a ball, and have a good long cry. Kate couldn't resist much longer. Since her mother had been murdered, she had tried so hard to be there for her father, even though he had not been cooperative, and she found the parallelism ironic in a twisted way. Now it was she who needed the help but would not accept it.

"I told him," she said. Jim stood motionless. When she was a teenager, he had spent enough hours arguing with Kate about opening up, and he hadn't expected her to cave so easily. His heart broke to see her standing there, her hair limp and dripping from the rain. Her makeup was slightly smudged, just making her eyes look darker than they did before. Her dress tightened where it had become saturated with water. Her demeanor had changed in a moment from a tall, strong woman to a broken, wet woman whose heart was just broken.

"That you loved him?" he clarified. Kate nodded. Jim knew his daughter and knew that it was most likely her who had run, and not Rick.

"Did you run?" he asked. She nodded again. "Oh, Katie," he said, pulling her in for a hug.

"How can you love someone so much, but be so terrified of loving them?" she asked rhetorically, resting her head on her father's shoulder.

Jim took a deep breath, not knowing how to answer her question. He was saved from the task when the misting rain suddenly turning into a downpour. He took the opportunity to suggest that they go home – he needed more time to think of a good answer for her.

"C'mon, Katie Bug, let's get you home and dry, and then we'll talk, okay?"

Jim pulled away from the hug, raised his hand towards the street, and whistled with two fingers in his mouth. A yellow cab came screeching to a stop before them and the father-daughter pair clambered in. He gave the cabbie Kate's address and pulled her close. He could tell how exhausted and how vulnerable she was.

He was surprised that she had let him in this far; she hadn't asked for his support since she was in middle school. He supposed it was the combination of the high emotions of the night, admitting her love to another man, and attempting to bury the feelings deep in her heart. He could feel her shoulder shaking with sobs, and he realized at that moment just how deeply her mother's murder had affected her.

Sure, he knew that she was a changed woman afterwards, but truth be told, during the time immediately following Johanna's murder, Jim had had his sights set on the next pint of liquor he would put in his body, and then after that, getting through each day and finding a reason to live. He had never spent enough time with Kate to observe how much she had changed. In his mind, she would always be the smiling, spunky nine-year-old. For the first time, Jim was privy to the pain that Kate had experienced after the death. For the first time, Jim saw how Johanna's dead was preventing Kate from moving on with her life fully. He felt ashamed that he hadn't seen it earlier, but how could he have? Now that he knew just how protected Kate had kept herself, he took it upon himself to work with her to lower her walls and to learn to let other people into her heart, regardless of the risks involved.

"Here we are. That will be fifteen eighty five," said the cabbie, oblivious to the state of his passengers. All he cared about was getting his fare, returning the cab, and going home to his wife and kid.

Jim handed over a twenty saying, "Keep the change. Have a good night." The cab driver smiled; he always liked men who gave large tips and said something kind before exiting. Too many New Yorkers didn't stop to think about the people who kept the city running. Maybe the kind gentleman who just gave him a five dollar tip had a special connection to someone who knew the ins and outs of the city. What did it matter to him? He had collected his fare and was on his way home.

"Come on, Katie," said Jim, gently leading his daughter to the front door. He saw the doorman open his mouth in a cheerful greeting and close it again swiftly when he saw Kate's state.

Jim led his daughter up to her apartment, and reached to open the door.

"I can do it, Dad," she said, grabbing the keys from him, scratching his hand in the process. _Some __things __just __never __change_, thought Jim with a sigh. Kate was a grabber when she was a child, but luckily, Jim and Johanna got her to stop shortly before starting school. Still, in times of great emotional turmoil, Kate couldn't help but return to her old grabbing ways.

The apartment door burst open after a few failed attempts; Kate's hands were shaking so violently that she could barely get the key in the lock. The father daughter pair felt through the door as soon as it opened, dumping their coats on the hooks.

"Go get into dry clothes, and I'll meet you out here," said Jim soothingly, giving Kate one last rub on the back for support. Kate nodded mutely, heading for her room, unzipping the dress as she went.

The door shut with a _click_, and Jim automatically went to the kitchen for a drink. He got as far as taking out the bottle of whiskey before realizing his actions and hurriedly returning it to its place in the cabinet. _If __Katie __needs __a __drink, __fine, __but __I__'__m __not __going __back __down __that __hole. __Not __now_, thought Jim, also replacing the glass, exchanging it for a water glass. He turned on the faucet and waited for the water to get cold. He sloshed water on himself as he put the glass under the stream, but he couldn't care. His daughter was in the other room, most likely having a breakdown, and he couldn't do anything about it.

Kate had never been an open person, and he was glad that she had let him in, but, like any other father, he felt helpless that he couldn't do more for her. He wanted to hug her and make the pain go away – all of it. The pain from her mother's murder, the pain from not being able to give herself completely, and the pain of losing her father in the time when she needed him the most.

He felt guilty for the wall that was in Kate's heart. He knew that it was because he had not been there for her in the months after her mother's death, and that made her unwilling to let anyone get close to her for fear of feeling that sense of loss again. It pulled at his heartstrings to know that it was his fault that she could not be with the man that clearly made her so happy. If he could go back in time, he would change every single one of his actions following that fateful day. He would have been the father she knew as a child – the one to whom she could turn for anything.

Jim lifted the water to his mouth, silently cursing that it wasn't something stronger. He hated that he was so weak. He hated that he could not control his desire for alcohol. He wanted so badly to take just one sip of that warm amber liquid, but he knew that if he did, there would be no coming back. He wanted to block out all the feelings of hate and self-deprecation that came with seeing his daughter so helpless and lost.

He checked his watch and realized that Kate had been in her room for a while. He was beginning to worry that something had happened. Jim swallowed the rest of his water in one gulp, opened the fridge and found a bottle of apple juice. He smiled at the knowledge that Kate still drank it, as childish as apple juice was. He felt a sense of calm as he poured her a large glass full. Apple juice was something he gave her whenever she was sick or upset – it was an object of comfort, and Jim was calmed by the normalcy of pouring her the drink. It reminded him of her childhood back before she was scarred.

He took the juice as well as some aspirin and headed for her closed bedroom door.

"Katie?" he called through. No answer. He tried to knob and found, to his surprise, that it was unlocked. He slowly opened the door so as not to alarm her. His heart almost broke all over again when he saw her curled up in a fetal position on her bed, silent tears streaming down her cheeks. It made him stop and think how many times she had been in that position after her mother's death and he hadn't been there. It was a small consolation to him to know that he was there this time.

"Hey, Katie, look what dad brought," he said, coming over to the side of her bed. She didn't acknowledge his presence; he hadn't expected her to. Jim set the glass on the night table and gently pushed the hair from his daughter's tear stained face. They sat silently for a few minutes before Kate slowly rolled over, greeting her father with a small, wavering smile.

"Thanks Dad," she said as she saw the apple juice. She had an immediate sense of déjà vu as she sipped the juice. It reminded her of days long ago when her father would be sitting sideways on her bed, stroking her hair as she cried or was burning with a fever. It was comforting to her to have her father there, consoling her once again.

"Do you want to talk?" he asked.

Kate shrugged her shoulders. She wanted to talk, but she didn't want to initiate.

"I've been thinking about the question you asked me earlier," said Jim, searching Kate's face for a sign that it was okay to continue. He saw nothing that would lead him away. "You've built walls as a mechanism for self-defense. You don't ever want to feel the pain of losing a loved one like the pain you felt twelve years ago, which is completely understandable. No one should have to feel loss at such a deep level. But there's always that one person who breaks through each and every wall that you put up, am I right?"

Kate nodded, not sure where his speech was going, but was willing to listen.

"I'm going to tell you something that I haven't told anyone except your mother. Not even my sponsor or my therapists. Before I met your mother, I was as guarded as you are. I had a fiancée—"

"What?" interrupted Kate. She was shocked by the news.

"Yeah. Her name was Caroline. We had been together since I we were in college. She was a psych major and about to open her own private practice. We were leaving the theater late one night – she loved Broadway and musicals. She said they made her feel like there was always hope in the world. After a hard day, we would second act her favorite show, _South __Pacific_."

"What happened?" Kate asked, knowing that the story would end badly.

"I loved her with all my heart. I thought that we were going to live together forever. We had just closed a deal on a cute apartment in SoHo that was really cheap. We were carefree and oblivious to pain. We were going out for dinner; it was our five year anniversary. It was dark and rainy and I told her to run across the street with me. There were no cars, so I ran across first. I was on the other side of the road, yelling at her to come quickly. She ran to the street and her shoe came off. She bent to pick it up and bam! A taxi skid and hit her. She was killed on impact, but I never forgot the sound of the taxi colliding with her." Tears dripped from Jim's eyes. He had gotten lost in the memory and thinking about how it all ended was almost too much for him. He twisted his hands in his lap, resisting the urge to wipe the tears away.

"Oh, Daddy," said Kate, sounding more like a little girl than she had in years. "Then what happened?"

"Nothing. I felt hollow. I didn't think I'd be able to find love again. For a year I was nearly mute. I hardly talked to anyone and I didn't do much. I blamed myself for her death. I blamed myself because I was the one who told her to J-walk. I was the one who didn't tell her to leave her shoe and get out of the road. She was dead because of me."

"It wasn't your fault," said Kate, responding automatically. Her cop instincts took over and she said everything she did to the friends and family of victims. "It was the fault of the man who lost control of his car and hit her. You can't blame yourself."

Jim let out a hollow laugh. "Too late for that, Katie Bug. I've been blaming myself ever since. I was getting over her death, slowly," he continued. Kate sat up straighter and took another sip of juice. "I was working through the baggage, but I had a steel wall around my heart. I didn't want to get close to anyone for fear that I would lose them, too. I was opening myself again, trying to let myself feel for another person, but I always had one foot out the door, always ready to bolt if things got too real.

"And then I met your mother. I saw her on that park bench and the sun was hitting her hair just so. I wondered if I could try to be happy with another person. I wondered if she would be that person. So I sat down next to her. For the first couple of months, I kept one foot out the door. I had a part of me that your mother knew nothing about. My heart was still carefully guarded. The more I got to know her, the more she broke down my walls. She could do it in a way that no one else could. No matter how distant I tried to be, she would force herself back in. She became my best friend, because I felt safe with her. I knew that she wouldn't leave me."

"But she did," finished Kate.

"But she did," repeated Jim. "That's why I took her death so hard. It wasn't just that I was losing my wife and my love, but the one thing that I feared the most came true. After two lost loves, I couldn't find a reason to keep on living."

"Why did you tell me this?" Kate asked, looking down at her hands.

"Well you asked me how you can love someone so much but be terrified of loving them, right?" Kate nodded. "Well I'm trying to tell you that being terrified isn't a bad thing. It doesn't mean that you have to run away. When I fell in love with your mother, I was so scared. I was terrified of loving her, of giving myself to her, of starting a life with someone who wasn't Caroline. But I pushed past the fear and opened myself to her. I gave her my whole heart. And it turned out great. Being scared is not mutually exclusive with being apart."

"But what if I give him my whole self and he realizes that I'm not worth it, that I have too much baggage?" Kate asked quietly.

"Katie, he hasn't stuck around for three years for nothing. That man is more in love with you than anyone I've seen. Trust me, if you give him your heart, he'll cherish it. You just have to make that leap of faith that he's not going to run."

"It's not in my nature to leap," she said.

"I know, but sometimes, we have to do things that aren't in our nature. Just think about it, okay?"

Kate nodded, glad that she and her father had had a good talk. She felt more connected to him than she had in years. She realized that her tears had stopped and she suddenly felt exhausted. Her whole body felt like lead.

Jim noticed her drowsiness and pulled back the covers, letting her slip between them. "Good night, Katie. Sleep well. I love you," he said quietly, pulling the covers up to her chin and kissing her lightly on her temple.

"I love you too, Daddy," she said sleepily. Neither said it, but both felt the missing person in the room. On some level, both Kate and her father were expecting to hear, "I love you," from Johanna. The whole night had been a déjà vu of Kate's childhood, and it felt incomplete without Johanna chiming in with her _I __love __you_.

Kate's eyes shut, but she could have sworn she heard her father whisper,"I love you, Jo."

She felt her father rise from her bed and she heard him exit her room and close her apartment door softly behind him. She drifted off into a dreamless sleep, thoroughly drained from the emotional roller coaster the night had been. She was broke about Rick, but her heart went out further to her father. Tomorrow she'd deal with her own pain – tonight had been for her dad. That's how it had always been…putting other's pain before hers.

* * *

><p>Sunlight filtered through her blinds, causing Kate to stir. Her limbs felt heavy and sluggish. She cracked open her eyes to find them dry and feeling as if there was sand in them. It took Kate a minute to realize why she was feeling like she had been run over by a truck. Then it hit her.<p>

The fundraiser.

The confession.

The kiss.

The tears.

The story.

The memory overwhelmed her. Kate physically felt the wind knocked out of her as every moment of the night before came back to her in vivid detail. She looked around her room and saw the empty juice glass on her night table. She saw the crumpled dress on the floor. As if in a trance, she got up and went to the bathroom to wash her face. She reached for her neck and felt her mother's ring. To fiddled with it, feeling her mother's loving support flowing through her. She took a deep breath, ready to conquer the day however it may come. She was ready.

Or so she thought.

Kate got the sink and was about to wash her face when she caught sight of herself in the mirror. The woman looking back at her was worse than the reflection after a cry induced by her mother or a tough case. Her hair was limp, her eye makeup smudged beyond recognition, her lips chapped, her eyes red and puffy, and her nose blotchy. Seeing her reflection broke any resolve that she had to face the day as a new one. Something inside her snapped and she sank to the floor, sobs heaving from her body. They wracked her entire body, making her shoulders shake and hit the cabinet behind her. Her hands covered her face, feeling the tears trickle from her eyes.

She didn't know what caused her to break down so intensely, but she was scared. She hated losing control; it made her feel weak.

As she closed her eyes, images began popping behind her eyelids. She couldn't get rid of them if she tried. She saw his reassuring smile as she gave her speech. She saw his comforting face as he talked her out of a panic attack. She saw his joy when she finally told him that she loved him. She saw the confusion and hurt in his eyes as she pulled away. She saw his tears when she ran. He was everywhere. His scent, his voice, his face. She could feel him on her lips, her waist, her heart. She couldn't escape him. She was drowning in him.

After ten minutes, Kate found the strength from within to pull herself from the bathroom floor. She stumbled into her room and pulled the dress from its pile. She smoothed the wrinkles tenderly, tears adding new darkened spots to the satin. The dress was a sign of his affection. It represented everything that he had done for her – starting a scholarship, taking care of her, dancing with her, and loving her. She wasn't worth all that. She didn't deserve a man as amazing and compassionate as he was.

Kate hung the dress in her closet beside the other two that he had bought – another sign of his devotion to her. She was tempted to tear them both from her closet and throw them in the trash, but she knew she couldn't do that.

Before she had the opportunity to consider the possibility further, she left her bedroom, not bothering to make her bed. She found her purse in the kitchen counter, exactly where she had left it in her semi conscious state the night before. With shaking fingers, she released the ring from its elaborate clasp on the emerald necklace and put it back on its simple chain. She sighed in relief when she felt the cool chain touch her neck – finally something that had been a constant for years was back. She reached for her phone and turned it on. Kate thought that it was going to crash, seeing as the number of texts and voicemails coming in were in the double digits.

Before reading them all, she wanted to have a little more control. She had stopped crying, but the stray tears till made its way down her cheek. She went to the fridge, pulled out an apple, washed it, and took a bite. The wave of sobs had passed quickly enough and she hoped that they would stay away for the rest of the day. She hated crying. It made her feel weak. Kate Beckett didn't like to feel weak.

With some food in her stomach, Kate took the phone and curled herself on the couch, pulling the afghan over her knees and placing a pillow under her crossed arms. Feeling somewhat protected, she began to scroll through the various messages, most from Lanie and him. The ones from Lanie were easy – mostly frantic texts about her well being and her inability to pick up her phone. The ones from him were harder to stomach. He asked multiple times for her to call him back. He wanted to come over later and talk to her. He wanted her to know that he was sorry for anything he might have done. She pushed all emotion aside as she read and listened. It wasn't until she got to her father's message when she felt the tears welling inside her again and her emotional resolve begin to crumble.

"_Hi Katie, it's dad. I just want to make sure that you're okay. I know that it won't be easy for you to open up to Rick, but I want you to think about what I told you last night. I have faith that you'll find the strength to take the leap. Call me if you need anything. Love you. Bye."_

Kate threw the apple core in the trash and went back to her place at the couch. She reassembled the pillow and afghan and let her thoughts wander.

She was still in shock at her father's confession. Never had she suspected that her father had had a tragedy in his life before her mother's death. She wouldn't have thought that her father could have loved another woman. For some reason, she didn't feel any betrayal. She was glad that her dad thought he could share such a personal story with her, and she was glad. But that did not negate the disconcerting thoughts it brought to the forefront of her mind.

If her father was strong enough to move past an emotional upset as great as feeling responsible for his love's death, then shouldn't she be? She had always thought of herself as stronger than her father, but now she didn't know. She felt the pressure of not only avenging her mother and becoming someone her mother would be proud of, but also not letting her father down. He took that leap, so she should be able to as well.

But that didn't stop her crippling fear of letting him into her heart just so he could break it, because, as ashamed as she was to think it, she knew that eventually he would do something to break her trust. She had built the walls and compartmentalized everything for a reason: to keep these scenarios out of her life. She didn't want to have to make the leap of faith and allow herself to feel emotionally vulnerable.

Kate still couldn't explain why she ran. Well, she knew why, but in her heart, it didn't make sense. When she was there, in his arms, kissing him, she felt whole. She felt as though the world stopped turning. She felt safe; for the first time in years, she felt completely safe and loved. The moment she pulled away, she felt empty and incomplete, but there was no way she could allow herself to feel that sense of completion. She was damaged goods. She had baggage and lots of it. He deserved someone whole. Someone who could love him with all of her heart. She didn't think that she could open herself in the way that he would need. Her trust of people was tenuous at best. A good relationship is formed out of trust and honesty, and she couldn't provide those at all times and it hurt her to come to terms with that. She wanted to be the woman he needed and the woman she wanted to be, but she couldn't. There was something missing in her, and she needed to find it before indulging in a relationship.

Somewhere deep inside, Kate knew that those were just disillusions she was trying to force herself to accept. Her real reason for running was that she was scared. She was scared of getting hurt again and of losing a loved one. What her father told her the night before didn't really help her think highly of connecting deeply to someone with the fear that they will leave.

Kate's thoughts were interrupted by the buzzing of her phone, indicating a new text from him.

_Kate, I'm getting worried here. I'm sorry if it was anything I did. –RC_

She wiped a tear from her cheek, trying to decide what to say. He was being so supportive and not pushy. That was one thing that she loved about him…he never forced her to talk about something if she wasn't ready. But now it was time for her to make a decision. Did she want to see him? Did she want to face everything she was afraid of? Could she do it?

Yes. It was time.

She opened her phone to compose a reply. It was short and to the point.

_Be here in 20. –KB_

Kate took a deep breath. He was coming to her apartment to talk. This was it. She was going to dive in.

* * *

><p>Rick rubbed his eyes wearily, hoping that when he opened them again, the world would become clear. But of course it didn't happen like that. Nothing happened the way Rick wanted.<p>

The night had been a long, sleepless one, far from the first since beginning to work with the detective. He spent most of the night tossing and turning, staring at the ceiling, wishing that it would give him the answers he wanted. At around four in the morning, he tumbled out of bed and staggered to his liquor collected. He poured a shot of his strongest drink and sat in his desk chair watching the city lights flicker. He sipped the alcohol slowly, hoping to slowly numb the pain he was feeling. He was already buzzed from the fifth of scotch that he had downed the moment he returned from the fundraiser, but he wasn't concerned with anything but trying to rid himself of the oppressive sense of failure.

It had happened; they had confessed their love to each other. So why wasn't she curled up next to him, breathing in and out peacefully? Why wasn't her chestnut hair fanned across his pillow as her head rested on his chest? Why wasn't he basking the glow of the best night of his life? Because she ran. Because she always ran.

Rick didn't know what more he could do. He had tried waiting – he had sat through Demming, Josh, and that brief time of Sorenson. He had waited as she worked out her emotional baggage following her mother's murder. He had talked her through anxiety attacks and times when she thought she would drown. He had saved her from falling down the rabbit hole again. What more could he give her? How could he spend every day with her, working on cases, catching murderers, and building theory, knowing that she loved him but not able to express his reciprocal feelings? How could he sit idly by while she hid her true feelings from herself? Rick had promised that he would be there with her through the thick and the thin of their work as partners, but how long could he realistically hold up that promise?

When she walked out on him, Rick felt a wound open in his heart. The same one that had opened when Meredith told him that she was leaving to be with the director she had been having an affair with. Except this time, the pain was intensified by an a hundred fold. He could feel it in every joint and every muscle. The emotional pain was so great that is transferred to physical pain.

He had called, texted, and emailed her at least a dozen times, but got no answer. He just wanted to talk to her and maybe help her through the blockade in her heart that was keeping them from being happy together. He wanted to help her. He wanted to make the wall go away.

At eight in the morning, Rick got up from his desk chair for the first time since sitting down at four. His legs felt wobbly and his head ached from the alcohol. He stumbled to the bathroom and threw back a couple aspirins. He started a shower, hoping that it would wash away his hurt. Rick gasped as he stepped into the scalding hot stream, but he didn't turn the temperature down. The water felt good.

When he finished in the bath, he fell back onto his bed, hoping that sleep wouldn't evade him. To his luck, he managed to get three fitful hours of sleep, his dreams woven with I love yous, a faceless brunette, and murder. He wanted to escape the dream land, but he couldn't. He felt as trapped in his psyche as he did in the real world. Sleep wasn't giving him the relief he needed it to.

When he woke, he felt more tired than he did before his nap. For the first time that day, Rick ventured out of his room. Fortunately, neither Alexis nor his mother was there allowing him to have a few more moments of solitude. He prepared himself a strong cup of coffee and pulled out some frozen macaroni and cheese. He knew it wasn't a nutritious breakfast, but he needed the comfort food.

Rick tore off the packaging and stuck the frozen, yellow block into the microwave. No matter what he did, he still moved as if in a trance, not quite sure of his surroundings. The whole morning he contemplated what to say to her when he finally saw her again. So far, he had come up with nothing.

He sat silently for hours, staring out the window. He had taken a couple bites of the macaroni, but then he let it get cold. It sat congealing on his desk as he watched cars pass and listened to horns honking. His mind was running through all their moments together from the past three years. He remembered every joke, every laugh, every case, and every fight. He could see her sitting in his office chastising him for reading from his own novel. He could see her playing with his fake murder board. He could see her shooting laser beams at him as they fought. Her face was burned onto his retinas; he couldn't think of anything else if he tried.

At two, Rick had had enough. He hadn't heard back from her and so he sent one last text.

_Kate, I'm getting worried here. I'm sorry if it was anything I did. –RC_

Hoping against hope, he waited for a return text. He wasn't expecting anything, but it would be nice to at least know that she was looking at her phone. Then it happened. That welcome chime of his phone, indicating that he got a new message. Faster than he had moved in hours, he grabbed his phone and clicked the icon to read the message.

_Be here in 20. –KB_

It was the wakeup call he needed. He rushed to his room and got dressed, pulled a comb through his hair, and brushed his teeth. When he was semi-satisfied with his reflection, he scribbled a note to his family and bolted out the door. He stopped at the coffee shop he always went into before going to the precinct to pick up a coffee for her. A touch of normalcy was something they both needed.

Five minutes later, he was emerging with two hot cups of coffee. He hailed a taxi and hurriedly said her address. The moment he sat back in the cab, he realized that he had no idea what to tell her when he got to her house. No idea at all.

He realized that part of him didn't want to ever get to her apartment. But he knew he had to.

* * *

><p>His steps slowed as he approached her door. He took one last cleansing breath before lightly tapping with his knuckles. Usually he would just barge in, but this was a time that called for a little respect of her boundaries.<p>

"Who is it?" she called. He heard the conflict in her voice and knew that she was asking only to stall their inevitable meeting.

"It's me," he replied. He heard the dead bolt slide open and the lock click. Slowly, the door opened to reveal a detective.

His heart broke when he saw her. Her hair was limp, and she was wearing way too much eye makeup, implying that she was covering up dark bags from crying. She looked like she had lost weight, but he knew that was just a result of her baggy NYPD t-shirt. She looked tired and gaunt. He imagined that he didn't look much better.

When Kate opened the door, her first thought was to pull him to her and kiss him senseless. Her second thought was that he looked worse than she did. She noted his rumpled attire and his messy hair. The only time she had ever seen his hair messy was when she had stayed overnight on the orders of the FBI. IT was slightly disconcerting.

She smiled with her head ducked and pulled open the door fully. "Hey Castle," she said quietly.

"Hey. I brought you coffee," he answered, holding out the coffee cup almost as a peace offering.

"Thanks." She took the cup and brought it to her lips. It felt good. It felt normal.

They stood awkwardly for a few minutes, trying to decide who would break the silence first. They started at everything in the apartment except each other, because they both knew how dangerous that would be.

"Do you want to sit?" she asked, walking towards the sofa. He followed her and sat at one end while she was at the other. Kate took a deep breath, ready to make the first move. "Look, Rick, about last night—" she began.

"Kate," he interrupted. "I understand that you're scared," he continued, even though he really didn't understand. She was too observant to fall for his lie.

"No, you don't," she answered, slightly harsher than she intended. He sat there, not saying a word, waiting for her to elaborate. "I've never felt like this for anyone else before." She paused, trying to figure out the best way to word what she wanted to say. "I've been on my own for a long time, and…I don't think I know how to…how to give up some of the control."

"So let me help you," Rick said. "I can help you get through that barrier."

"No, no one can help me. I have to do it myself. If I don't, then I won't have really gotten over my fears."

"You have to learn to let other people in, Kate."

Kate swept her eyes around the room. She felt tears welling up, but she refused to let them fall. Slowly, she got up and began to pace.

"Why does everyone tell me that? I can do it myself." She turned away from him, almost as if talking to herself. "I can do it myself. I can do it myself."

"Kate," Castle said quietly, trying to pull her back. "You're not alone anymore."

"Stop telling me that," she cried. "I'll always be alone. My mother is gone, Castle. I'm alone."

"That's ridiculous," he answered, also rising form the couch. He felt the anger bubbling inside him. He felt all the irritation towards her and her stubbornness rise to the surface, and he began to talk without thinking about his words. "You have a precinct full of people who care about you. You have a family who cares about you. Maybe it's not your own, but it's a family none the less. And your Dad. He loves you, Kate."

"Yeah, well you know what else about my dad? He's stronger than I am. I always thought I was stronger than him. But no. All these years, I was wrong."

"What are you talking about?"

"My dad was engaged before he met my mom. But she died and he thought it was his fault. He rose above it and found another love. He opened his heart to another woman. I can't do it. I can't let myself feel that deeply for another person until I put my mother's murder to rest."

"Your dad was what?" asked Castle, still stuck on the revelation about Jim.

"He was engaged. To be married."

"Just because he found love doesn't mean that you're not as strong as him."

"Really? Then why do I feel like I'm letting down two parents now, and not just one, huh?" she was practically yelling now. He wanted him to understand. "Why does it feel like no matter what I do and no matter how hard I try, I can never make them proud?"

"You can make them proud. You just need to trust yourself to be able to deal with whatever comes your way."

"I can't do that, Castle. I can't just open my heart to anyone. I'm not like you."

Rick's nostrils flared in anger. "And what's that supposed to mean?" he yelled.

"Don't act stupid. You've had two wives, and god only knows how many 'conquests,'" she said, rolling her eyes and emphasizing 'conquests.'

Rick was hurt. After all the time they spent together and after every moment where she saw the _real _Rick Castle, she still thought that he was a playboy and a man who couldn't hold on to a wife. He thought that he had proven to her that he wasn't what page six said. "Is that what this is about?" Rick cried incredulously. "I've told you why I married them. And I've also told you that it was the biggest mistake of my life."

"Well how do I know that you won't think I'm a mistake, huh?" She didn't know how or why it was happening, but suddenly, every insecurity she had was tumbling from her mouth. There was nothing she could do to stop it.

"You honestly think that I could _ever_ think of you as a mistake? Is that really how low of an opinion you have of me?"

"Coming from Mr. Play Boy himself," she said sarcastically. It felt wrong to her, fighting with Castle. It was something she had done with Josh. It was something that was supposed to have ended when she broke it off with Josh. They shouldn't be fighting.

"That was all Gina's idea," he yelled back. "I never wanted to be the 'Bad Boy of Best Sellers,'" he continued, making air quotes around the title. "I never wanted to be pawed upon by women."

"You're just saying that. I've seen you at book signings and events. You love the attention you get. You love every minute of hot blondes fawning over you. You—"

"That's enough," he said quietly, but firmly. "I'm not going to deny that I enjoyed some of it, but for the most part, I just wanted to find a woman who would love me for me and who I could settle down with and raise a family."

"And you think I could be that woman?" she asked, crossing her arms across her chest.

"I never said that."

"So what? I'm just going to be another one of your flings?"

"What? That…you…that's not fair!" he cried, realizing that she had set him up. "No, of course you're not going to be just a fling. You're far too extraordinary to be a fling. Kate, I want to be your one and done."

She was stunned for a moment that he had remembered such a small detail in a conversation they had had years ago. Before she could get too touched by the implications, she heard words coming out of her mouth, as if on their own volition. "Well, unfortunately for you, you don't get to make that call. I do."

Rick's expression softened. He wanted her to say that he was her one and done. He wanted her to admit that they could spent the rest of their lived together. Rick took his chances and stepped towards her. Just one step. "So what do you say? Can I be your one and done?"

Kate saw Rick's approach and took her own step backwards. She did not want him to get any closer to her. She was not expected the conversation to go in this direction. In her opinion, she was happier with yelling and screaming at each other.

"No," she said finally. "I'm not ready to make that commitment yet."

"Because of your mother?" he asked.

Kate began to feel riled up again. She honestly didn't know how his brain kept making the same leaps. Always circling back to her mother. No matter how hard she tried to steer the conversation elsewhere, he found a way to bring it back to her mother. He was treading on thin ice, and he knew it.

"I've told you before and I'll tell you again. I can't be the person I want to be while this is hanging over my head. I don't know who I am without it, and I need to find that out before I can say yes."

"Then let me help you."

"I don't need help!" she screamed. How many times did she have to tell him? How many times did she have to separate herself from what her heart really wanted before he would understand?"

"I'm not letting your go down that rabbit hole again without someone there as support."

"That's not your call. It's my life, and I can do whatever I want with it."

Rick groaned inwardly. He couldn't believe how stubborn she was being. He knew that she was headstrong, but he never thought that it would get to this level of insanity. "Kate, I'm not letting you throw your life away. It's not worth it."

She was speechless. How was she supposed to respond to that? "Are you saying that my mother isn't worth it? She is worth every minute of everything I do, Castle. You should know that."

"By only thinking about the past, you're missing on the present," he told her.

"You have no right. No right."

Before he could respond, her phone rang. She grabbed it off the couch before he could see the caller ID.

"This had better be good," she barked into the phone, not bothering to hide her irritation. She listened for a moment. "'Kay, I'll be there shortly. Bye." She hung up the phone and turned back to Castle who was standing with curiosity in his eyes.

"Who was that?" asked Castle. As frustrated and angry at her as he was, it didn't stop him from wanting in on the murder.

"It was Esposito. I gotta go," she answered, hanging turning to grab her purse and coat before heading towards the door. She took a few steps and realized that he wasn't following her. She could understand that he might not want to come, especially after their knock down drag out, but it was strange for her to get a call about a murder and not hear him following her.

"You coming?" she asked, turning to face him. She knew it was a long shot – who would want to spend time with her after what had just transpired? But she had to ask. It was reflex.

He looked her straight in the eyes and walked towards her. Instead of stopping when he reached her, he kept walking, passing through the doorway and making his way down the hall to the elevators.

"No, not this time," he said, just as the doors closed with a _ding_.

**Whew...that was a wild ride. I'm sure you know what part I was talking about at the beginning...gold star to anyone who guessed Jim's story. I really wanted to delve into his character a little more and so I made up that story to explain why he took Johanna's death so hard (yes she was his wife, but I always though there was more to it). Please let me know what you think of it - I'm kind of apprehensive.**

**Anyway - as always, I hope I kept everyone in character. I would really appreciate reviews. I want to know what you guys think. Thanks for everything...you're the ones who keep me writing. Have a great week, mangotango101**


	22. Chapter 22

**All right, I'm back. I apologize for not updating in a ridiculous amount of time. I got swamped with College applications, school, a broken computer, and coming up with a case. Hopefully now that the case is moving, and school is winding down, I'll be able to update for you.**

**Last case, people said that they got confused at all the new characters. This time, in the AN, I'm going to put who's who at the beginning, so you can remember from chapter to chapter. And so begins a 3 chapter long story arc. Enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: This is not mine, nor will it ever be. _Castle_ belongs to AWM, ABC, and whoever actually owns it. I am not making any profit from this, and no copyright infringement is intended.**

**Chapter 22**

"You okay, girl?" asked Esposito the moment Kate stepped from her unmarked.

Kate tried to put on a brave face, but she was still reeling from her fight with Castle. Even though she had every intention of making up with him, her emotions got the better of her. She hadn't expected to blow up at him, but one thing led to another – like a snow ball. Once she got annoyed at one statement, everything else came tumbling out; she couldn't stop. She wanted to stop. She wanted to make up with him, but after their fight, she realized that they had a lot to work through before they could be happy together. She had been keeping all her thoughts about his play boy status pent up inside, and she didn't know how it happened. At least it was better that it happened now instead of months, even years, into their relationship. Maybe by having the fight now, and being able to work through it now, Kate saved him from another divorce.

"Beckett?" asked Esposito, trying to pull her back into the present.

She was touched at Esposito's care, but slightly irked that this was how her day was going to go; her colleagues drilling her for information.

Kate ran a hand through her hair and put the other on her hip saying, "Yeah, I'm fine. Tell me about the vic."

"Caucasian female between twenty five and thirty five years old, no wallet and no ID."

"And she was found at the zoo?"

"It's sad, right? I always thought of the Central Park Zoo as a place for little kids, not for murder."

"Yeah, well, it's not like we can chose the location, can we?" Kate joked hollowly.

"You got that right. Follow me," said Esposito, motioning for Kate to come with him. They walked through the zoo towards the body. Kate was frustrated that the only thing she could think about was that day Rick had taken her to the zoo. She thought about how much fun she had and how relaxing it was. She also thought about how much had changed since then – she and Josh had broken up, they went to her mother's fundraiser, but most of all, they confessed their feelings.

"She was found by a zoo employee," Esposito was saying. Kate forced herself to focus on what her colleague was telling her. "Her name is Larissa Holman. She's over there," he said, pointing to a shell-shocked woman who was slowly sipping a glass of water one of the unis had given her.

Kate made a mental note to talk to her, but first she turned her attention to the ME who was kneeling over the vic.

"Hey sweetie," said Lanie as their reached the penguin tanks.

"Hey Lanie. What have you got for me?" Kate looked at the body of a young woman whose hair and clothes were still dripping wet from being pulled out of the tank.

Lanie looked at Kate with skeptical eyes. She could tell that something was wrong, but she couldn't figure out what. "What happened?" she asked.

"Nothing," answered Kate shortly. "Now tell me about the floater."

"Don't think I'm letting you get off that easy."

"Lanie," Kate scolded.

The ME rolled her eyes at her friend's stubbornness, but began giving the details about the victim.

"She has a gunshot to the chest," began Lanie, pointing with the end of her pen. "Prelim suggests that she was killed elsewhere and dumped here, but I'll have to wait till I get her to the lab to be sure."

"Then why the penguin tanks?"

"It must mean something. You don't just dump a body at the Central Park Zoo," Esposito chimed in.

"Time of death?"

"Hard to tell because of the temperature of the water, but according to her lividity and rigor, I would put time of death somewhere this morning. I'll have a more specific window as soon as I can do a complete autopsy."

"Great, thanks."

Lanie nodded and turned back to logging something on her clipboard.

"Hey," said Ryan, joining the group. He was carefully avoiding direct eye contact with Kate, speaking to her shoulder instead of her eyes. He was nervous about what state she would be in ever since Esposito had told him that she sounded pissed off when he called her about the body.

Kate smiled and rolled her eyes at how timid Ryan was being. "It's okay, Ryan, I'm not going to blow up at you."

"Uhh, yeah, um, so unis found her wallet in a dumpster over there," he stammered, pointing to where a bunch of young cops were huddled around a trash bin. "Our vic is Daphne Johnson. She's thirty one. Driver's license has her at One-fourteenth and Broadway. She has a teacher ID card from Columbia."

"Great," said Kate. "Why don't you and Esposito canvas the park to see if anyone saw anything suspicious in the last few hours? Then head up to Morningside Heights and check with her neighbors, see if they can shed any light on her life and what she might have done to end up here. Also, tells unis to canvas for the bullet, but since she wasn't killed here, I'm not expecting to find one. I'm going to talk to the woman who found her."

"You sure you're okay?" asked Esposito once more.

"Go," she ordered, not wanting to talk about her feelings.

Ryan shot her one concerned glance before following his partner to their car. Kate took a deep breath and turned back to Lanie.

"Anything else?"

"Not at the moment. I'll give you a buzz as soon as I find COD." Kate nodded and turned to make her way towards the penguin handler. "Beckett, wait."

"I don't want to talk about it Lanie," said Kate, refusing to meet her friend's eyes.

Lanie stood from her crouched position and peeled off her gloved with a snap. "Kate, something happened between you and Castle. I know that it was you who ran. The man was broken—"

"I don't want to talk about it," Kate said firmly, walking away. She took a deep breath, calming the blood rushing through her head. She didn't need everyone at work talking to her about what had happened between her and Rick. It was their business, not the entire precinct's. She was trapped over thinking everything in her head already – she didn't need to rehash everything out loud. Kate just wanted to finish her work, go home, and curl up in a ball and fall asleep. She wasn't in an emotional state to be able to deal with murder – not with the wound from her mother's murder so raw.

Kate knew that she had to get her head in the game. That girl lying on the tarp was a person. She was a daughter, a sister, a lover, whatever. She had a life, and every person involved in that life was never going to be the same. Kate needed to remind herself that there were other people in the world, and now it was time to focus on them. She could deal with her own issues when she got home that night.

"Ms. Holman?" Kate asked gently, coming up to the young woman in a blue polo and khaki pants. "I'm Detective Kate Beckett. I was wondering if I could ask you some questions."

"Yes, of course, Detective. I'm sorry, it's just that was such a shock."

"I know. What time did you begin your shift today?"

"I was here today for the morning feeding."

"Which was when?"

"Eight thirty. And there was nothing wrong. Nothing out of the ordinary."

"So you didn't see anyone or anything suspicious?"

"N-no, I don't think so, but I wasn't really looking, you know?"

"Then what?"

"Well, I took care of the penguins and then I walked around for a while, making sure that kids were behaving. I fed the lions at ten. At twelve thirty I went on my lunch break, and I was back by one."

"Still nothing out of the ordinary?"

"No. I'm sorry I can't be of more help."

"It's okay," reassured Kate. "Go on."

"I came back to the penguins for their afternoon feeding at three. Then I was going to go home."

"So what happened?"

"I was throwing the fish in the tank when I saw a strange shape in the water. I couldn't really tell what it was, because the water refracts, you know? So I grabbed the gum boots we use when we have to check something in the tank. I went in and then I saw it. I saw a face. I took the metal pole we use to train the animals and poked it, trying to dislodge it and then it floated up."

"Thank you, Ms. Holman. Please don't hesitate to call if you think of anything."

Larissa Holman looked up at Kate and nodded with confused eyes. She was still in major shock.

Kate stood and walked back to her car. As she passed, Lanie called to her, but she didn't turn. She kept walking. She didn't want to talk. She wanted to throw herself back into her work. She wanted to burry all the feelings that were slowly pushing out of their box.

The detective got into her car and made the slow drive to the precinct. To keep herself from going insane, she turned on the radio. The song, _Everybody Loves Me _by OneRepublic, was playing. Kate automatically smiled, thinking of how it epitomized Rick. After a couple measures, Kate turned the music off, not being able to listen to it without feeling the gaping hole in her heart. Why did she always do that? Why did she always push away the one man who had broken through her walls? Who was she kidding…she knew the answer. She didn't want to let herself feel close to someone just to have them leave. Like father, like daughter.

Kate pulled into a spot in front of the precinct and made her way to the fourth floor. She passed some people who had been at the fundraiser and who had seen the events unfold, but they did nothing more but stare for a moment longer than normal. Kate ducked her head and walked faster. She wasn't being a coward – she just wanted to get back to her desk.

Luckily, there was no one else in the elevator as she went up to Homicide. The moment she disembarked, her Captain met her and began to walk with her.

"I thought I told you to take today off," he said. She could tell he wasn't really mad.

"You know New York," she joked back. "Crime never stops."

"That's true, but you're allowed to."

"I—" she began.

"Do whatever feels right, but I want you out of here at a reasonable hour, say, seven?"

"But sir, that's only three hours."

"Detective," Montgomery said warningly.

"Fine," agreed Kate, somewhat reluctantly. She knew that she would throw herself into this case. She wasn't leaving at seven.

"Now tell me about the case."

"Daphne Johnson, thirty one. She works at Columbia and it looks like she was killed and then dumped in the penguin tanks at the zoo."

"The zoo?"

"Crazy, I know."

Kate was enjoying the gentle banter between her and her Captain. So far he was the only one who made no outside acknowledgement of her swift exit from the fundraiser. She assumed it was his professionalism.

"It's a shame. My kids loved the penguins."

Kate chuckled. "So does R—" she paused. The name tasted funny in her mouth and it hurt her to say it. "I should get back to work."

She ducked her head and went to her desk. As her computer turned on, she dumped her purse and coat and went to get a cup of coffee. She opted for the old-fashioned coffee and filter as opposed to the fancy espresso machine. After three plus years, she finally could make a simple cup of coffee without it exploding, but she didn't want to give herself more reminders of him. She wanted to keep a clear head.

Kate took the steaming mug to her desk to find her ancient computer still connecting to all the networks and databases of the NYPD. With a sigh, she took out her folder and began to make a list of things she needed to do: get in touched with Ryan and Esposito, find next of kin, phones, financials, and canvas. A message window popped up on her desktop alerting her that her computer was ready to use, along with a bubble that told her she needed to update some system. Kate clicked the update button, but immediately regretted it as soon as her computer began to make wheezing noises.

Rolling her eyes, Kate went to get a fresh murder board and a handful of markers. She started to create the board, tacking up some pictures that CSU had already uploaded to the database. She neatly wrote the information they had and stood back to admire her handiwork.

Taking a deep breath, Kate sat back at her desk to see that her computer had finished its update. She clicked open the new database and was unhappy with the layout. It was much more confusing than it had to be. She spent ten minutes trying to find the program to run a basic background on the vic, but it wasn't in the place where it used to be.

As hard as Kate tried, she couldn't keep her mind off of Rick. It was bothering her, because Kate isn't a girl who mopes over a guy. She was a strong, independent woman. But somehow Rick found a way to mess with her head and turn her into a bumbling idiot that belongs in high school, not the NYPD.

Finally, she found the button and entered the vic's information. She sat back in her chair and ran her hands over her face. Her temples were beginning to ache and her eyes felt like there was someone pressing on them. She wished that she could go home when the Captain told her to, but she knew that being at home alone was worse than feeling crappy at the precinct. At least at the station, she had work to distract her.

Kate's computer beeped, telling her that the background was complete. She took a deep breath, knowing that this would be the true beginning of the case. Clicking around her screen, Kate learned that Daphne Johnson did nothing to suggest she was any more than a college teacher. Johnson had no priors and not even a traffic ticket. She seemed to be a law abiding citizen.

Sighing, Kate got up to refill her coffee mug. Knowing that she had a very limited scope of who the vic was, Kate began to wrack her brain for any reason why she would be murdered. The usual motives came to mid first: greed, jealousy, and love. Each could be plausible, although greed less so. The vic was making and living off of a teacher's salary, and not even a tenured one. There was nothing to suggest that the vic came from money, but Kate would have to wait for the warrants for phones and financials to come through before she could be sure.

As she was walking back to her desk, her phone rang.

"Beckett," she answered.

"Hey," replied Esposito. "Ryan and I are still at the zoo and a worker says that there was an odd looking man who came to the penguin tanks every day, stayed for an hour, and left."

"That's weird. Was there anything suspicious about him?"

"Not exactly, but the worker said that he was just creepy."

"Did you get a sketch? I can run it through the database and see if we can put a name with his face."

"Yeah, I'll send it to you now."

"Great, thanks. Are you guys going to head uptown anytime soon?"

"Yes, just as soon as slow poke over there—" Kate heard a disapproving explanation through the phone. "—finishes with the sketch."

"Sounds good. The Cap says that he wants me out by seven, but I was planning on staying later. Try to be back by six or seven, okay?"

"You sure you want to stay later?" asked Esposito.

"Don't start, Espo. See you soon."

Her partner hung up the phone and Kate set it back on its cradle. She took a sip of coffee and was sad to find that it was already getting cool. She drank it anyway, not wanting to get up and warm it in the microwave. Finishing the mug, Kate wrapped her hands around it, staring into the dregs. She refused to let her mind wander to Castle again that day. She had to keep a clear head. While waiting for Ryan and Esposito to get back to her with a sketch, she turned her chair to study the murder board. There wasn't much on it, other than the background she found out about the vic and a couple pictures from the crime scene.

Kate's computer chimed, notifying her of an incoming email. She opened the attachment and input the sketch of a burly man into the database. She let it run and watched as mug shots flew across the screen.

"Got you, son of a bitch," she muttered as the computer stopped at one shot. "Michael Eckleridge." She breathed deeply, glad that they finally had a suspect.

* * *

><p>The moment the elevator doors closed, Rick realized that he had made the biggest mistake. He should never have walked out on Kate. She was his partner and he was hers. But still, the things she said to him hurt more than being punched in a bar fight. He felt his heart breaking with each hurtful thing she said. He never knew that she still had those opinions of him, and it killed him to know that it could have messed up their relationship for good.<p>

As bad as he felt walking away from her before a case, he knew that it had to be her to amend their partnership. He had given her more chances than most people would, always coming back even after a fight. No, this time, it would be her job to come find him.

The cab ride home was bleak. The clouds overhead seemed to be mimicking his mood with a heavy grey overcast. Traffic was slow moving, so it took him longer to get home than expected. Finally, he made it into his apartment, only to be met by his mother.

"Hello, Richard," said Martha, not turning from the glass of wine she was pouring. "How was your day?"

Rick didn't answer. He dropped his keys in the bowl near the door and hung his coat in the closet. He made his way to his office to grab a fifth of scotch. He heard his mother follow him in, but he still didn't turn around.

"Richard, what is the matter?"

He sipped the amber liquid, relishing in the momentary relief it brought.

"I don't think I'm going to be seeing her anymore."

"What happened?" asked Martha, pulling a chair next to the leather one she always sat in.

"We had a fight."

"About what?"

"Me. I just wish that she would trust that I've changed."

"What do you mean?"

"She thinks I'm still a playboy and that she would just be another fling to me. Mother, I love her more than anything. I don't know how I can make this one right."

"Well you can charm yourself out of this one, Richard," joked Martha. "I think you should wait and let her come back to you. You did all you could. It's her turn to show you that she trusts you."

Rick looked down at his glass. He wished that his mother wasn't so right. He forgot how wise she was, but he was eternally grateful.

"Hey, Dad," said Alexis, flying down the stairs. "What's wrong?" she asked, the smile falling off her face the moment she saw her dad's sad eyes.

"He and Beckett had a fight," explained Martha.

"About what?"

"Your father being a playboy."

"I'm sorry dad. Is there anything I can do?"

"No, Pumpkin. Thank you, though. C'mere, sweetie," he said, reaching his arms out. Alexis walked to him, shooting a glace to her grandmother. Rick enveloped Alexis is a tight hug, breathing deeply into her hair. "I love you," he whispered.

Alexis was surprised by her father's strange behavior, but decided to not question it. "I love you, too, Dad."

Rick pulled away and smiled at his daughter. "I'm going to make dinner. What do you want?"

"Actually, Ash and I are going to go out for dinner. Is that okay?"

"Of course it is," said Rick. Alexis kissed him on the cheek and left the room, pulling her phone out to text Ashley. "Mother?"

"Oh, sorry, darling, I have a dinner date with my agent to discuss upcoming auditions. Looks like you're on your own, Kiddo."

Rick couldn't decide if that was a good thing or not. But since he didn't have a family to feed, he downed the last of his scotch and stood up. Martha stood with him and pulled him into a hug. "You'll figure it out, Richard," she said as she ruffled his hair.

"Hey, watch it," he joked, pulling away. He stopped laughing and got very serious. "Thank you, Mother."

Martha smiled, proud of her son. "You're welcome."

Rick went into his bathroom and splashed water on his face. He looked in the mirror and though about the last time he had stood, staring at his reflection. He had thought that he and Kate were going to dive in. He thought that she was ready. He thought that he was ready.

Rick realized that he didn't want to be with her if all she thought was that she was just another notch on his bedpost. What Rick wanted with Kate was the kind of thing that lasts a life time. He wanted to be in a place where they both were in it for the long haul. The idea of being together while each had their misgivings seemed like a bad idea. Rick realized that it was better for them to have the fight they did earlier rather than later. Now, they had time to think about what each wanted, and they would find a way to reconcile their feelings. They were on a road to a healthy relationship.

Still thinking about his afternoon, Rick started another shower. He wasn't dirty, but he felt grimy. He felt violated by all the women he had slept with. Hardly waiting long enough to peel off all his clothes, Rick jumped into the shower, yelping when the hot water touched his skin. He scrubbed and scrubbed, trying to get the feeling off. His skin was red and raw by the time he got out, partly from the temperature of the water and partly because he had scrubbed all the skin cells. He only felt marginally better.

With a robe on, he climbed into bed with his computer. He booted it up and opened the internet. His home page was the news and he saw the headline: _Woman found in Penguin Tank at Central Park Zoo_. Rick clicked the article, wondering if it was the call that Kate had gotten earlier that day. The article was extremely short, seeing as the investigation was still young. It didn't do much more than alert people that there was a homicide in Central Park.

_This afternoon, a woman was found in the penguin tank at the Central Park Zoo. Preliminary tests suggest the victim was shot, but the OCME has yet to confirm. Her identity remains unknown. 12th precinct of Manhattan is on the case and declined to comment. Details will be revealed as they become available._

Rick took a deep breath. So he had missed the woman in with the penguins. He was brought back to the day he had spent with Kate at the zoo. It seemed like a lifetime ago. In a way, it was. They had come so far since that moment. He almost wished that he had been there so he could see her reaction to being back. But then remembered why he hadn't gone. It still seemed like a good decision.

Without realizing what he was doing, he opened a new document and began to type up the information he knew. He took the picture from the article and copy and pasted it to the document. It wasn't until he was saving it that he realized what he was doing. He was making a murder board. Shaking his head, he closed his computer and lay his head back, thinking about the case. There were so many unanswered questions, and he knew that Kate didn't have the answers, either. His mind began to think about the connections to make and spin wild theories. He almost said one out loud, but he remembered that he was at home and not at the precinct.

Closing his eyes, he felt his mind slowly shut off. Before he knew it, he was fast asleep on his bed, the computer slipping off his lap.

* * *

><p>"Mr. Eckleridge, thank you so much for coming down. I'm Detective Beckett," said Kate, sitting across from him in the interview lounge. She decided to not talk to him in interrogation, because she wanted to get a feel for him first.<p>

"You're welcome. I came down as fast as I could. I had a class, so I couldn't leave."

"That's fine. So you teach at Columbia?"

"Yes. I-I teach Marine Biology, specializing in penguins. Excuse me, but they said this was about Daphne. Is she okay?"

"You knew her?"

"Of course I did. I was her boyfriend. She's been missing since yesterday, but I couldn't file a claim for missing persons until she was gone for seventy-two hours. Oh god, is she dead? Please tell me she's not dead."

"I'm very sorry Mr. Eckleridge, but unfortunately, Ms. Johnson is dead."

"Oh no," said Eckleridge, tears making slow tracks down his cheeks.

"I knew something bad had happened. Did she suffer?"

"We aren't completely sure yet, but no, it appears that it was very sudden. I need you to answer a couple questions. Can you do that?" asked Kate. She wished that Rick was by her side for support. Although she didn't like to tell people or have people find out, she liked having him when she told families. It was hard to tell someone their loved one was gone, but with Rick there, it was one more think about being a cop that was easier. Having him to jump in with some questions or to make an inappropriate comment diluted the stress it put on her. Of course, she would never tell a living soul how much it meant to her when Castle was around.

"Sure. Anything to find the person responsible."

"Did Daphne have any enemies or arguments recently?"

"No, everyone loved her. She was the favorite professor in her field. She taught anthropology and all her students loved her."

"Was she having any problems at home?"

"I don't know much about her family. They don't live here."

"Can you think of any reason why someone would want to kill her?"

"No," he said, his voice cracking. "I don't know why anyone would want her dead."

"I heard that you spent a lot of time at the penguin tanks. Can you tell me why?"

"Well, I live in New York. There are only so many places to visit penguins. This time of year, the Central Park Zoo is my favorite. It's outdoors and the people there are very nice."

Kate nodded. She was getting the feeling that Eckleridge didn't kill his girlfriend, but she had to check every possibility.

"Mr. Eckleridge, I hate to ask you this, but where were you this morning between seven and eleven?"

"What, you think I did this?"

"No, but I have to be sure."

"I was in my office, grading papers. I also have office hours, so a couple of my students stopped by."

"Can I have their names?"

"Mark Bolton and Gretta Marshal."

"Thank you very much for coming in, Mr. Eckleridge. If you think of anything, please don't hesitate to call."

"Can I see her, Detective?"

Kate nodded. "A uniform will escort you to the Medical Examiner's office."

"Thank you Detective Beckett."

Kate gave him a small smile and left the room to inform an officer that Eckleridge should be taken to the OCME.

She headed back to her desk and saw that she had a voicemail from Esposito. They had canvased uptown and didn't find anything so they were coming back and bringing dinner. Kate debated calling them back to talk to some of Daphne's students, but decided to pass. She was hungry, and she had enough to catalogue. The students could wait.

Kate opened her email to see that she had gotten the warrants for the phones and financials and decided to have Esposito run them down when he returned. She looked at the names that Eckleridge had given her. Kate lifted her phone and proceeded to call the students. She was disappointed to find that both the students alibied Eckleridge out. Not that she wanted him to be guilty, but she had hoped that the case would be open and shut.

Once she cleared up the alibi, she picked up the phone and dialed the number for the security at the zoo.

"Hello?" asked the man on the other end.

"Hello, this is Detective Beckett with the NYPD, may I speak with your supervisor please?"

"Yes, Ma'am." Kate heard some scuffling before a more authoritative voice came on the line.

"Hello, I'm Ross Neilson, Head of Security. What can I do for you Detective?"

"I need the security tapes from today."

"Sure thing. I'll send them over now."

"Thank you, Mr. Neilson."

"You're welcome."

Kate hung up the phone and stood from her chair. While she waited for the security footage to come in, she uncapped a black marker and began to document what she learned from Eckleridge. She moved his mug shot from 'Suspects' to 'Persons of Interest.' She squeaked out his alibi and his background.

The elevator doors opened and she turned to see her team come in with two bags of Chinese food.

"Hey Beckett," they said as they entered the Bull Pen.

"Wey boys," she answered, recapping the marker. "I talked to Eckleridge," she said before they could ask her if she was okay. "He alibied out, but I have stuff for you to do after dinner. Esposito, I need you to run down financials. I'll take the LUDS. I got the warrant, so they should be here in about an hour. Our vic doesn't have priors, so look for anything out of the ordinary. You know the drill. Ryan, the security footage from the zoo is being sent over now, so I need you to watch the penguin tanks and see if we can get our murder on tape. I assume he would have devised a plan to turn off the cameras, but you never know. We might get lucky."

Her partners nodded in agreement and headed off to eat dinner. Kate turned back to the murder board, studied it for a moment, but was interrupted by her stomach making an awful noise. She put a hand to it and decided that it was probably in her best interest to grab something to eat.

"Okay Boys, what did you bring?" she asked, coming into the break room. She rinsed out her coffee mug and got a water from the vending machines.

"We got your favorite," said Ryan, handing her a white box with red designs on the outside.

"Here's some chop sticks, too," added Esposito, forking over the package.

She opened the carton and her stomach growled again.

"Gee, Beckett, did you eat at all today?" Ryan asked, covering his mouth to avoid foot flying around.

"Chew, then talk," she reprimanded. "And I ate…an apple."

"Girl, you gotta eat more," said Esposito, picking out a carrot and setting it on a napkin.

"So all you've eaten today is one apple?" asked Ryan, taking the carrot that Esposito rejected and popped it into his mouth.

Kate looked momentarily disgusted by their antic, but then realized that it was adorable how close they were that they would eat each other's food.

"Oh come on, guys, it's not like I was chasing down a suspect today. It's was a slow day."

"Yeah, but you still need to eat."

"Please, you two sound more like my grandma every time I talk to you."

"We just care about you," said Esposito simply.

"Yeah, Castle would say the same thing if he were here," Ryan said nonchalantly.

Kate stopped mid-bite and put the piece of broccoli back into the carton.

"Dude," hissed Esposito. Ryan looked around like a lost puppy.

"Beckett, I'm sorry," he began.

"No, it's fine," said Kate. "Um, I'm just going to start running phones."

Kate slid off the chair and grabbed the water bottle and fortune cookie and went back to her desk.

"What the hell, man," whispered Esposito.

"I…"

* * *

><p>Kate ran a hand over her eyes. It was late and she was tired. She wanted to go home and go to sleep, but she still had a week's worth of phone calls left. So far, nothing had popped, and numbers were swirling around her eyes. She had turned down the brightness of her screen hours ago, hoping to calm her eyes, but to no avail. Kate had not eaten any more of the Chinese food since she had sat at her desk. Ryan's mention on Castle had made her lose her appetite.<p>

Since then, she had opened her fortune cookie to read the small slip of paper. _You will have the endurance for the long haul ahead_. She had laughed lightly at the two words she inevitably added onto any of the fortunes and then put it into her fortune box. She knew it was stupid, but ever since she could remember, she had a box that held every fortune she had ever gotten. It had always been at work, because that was where she ate mostly. The ones on the bottom were yellowing from age, but she always added to the pile. It was yet another thing that kept her grounded to her mother's memory.

The cookie lay in pieces on the napkin; she hadn't eaten that either. Scrolling through the phone numbers was tiring and she was happy when she found that she was almost done.

"Hey yo Beckett," said Esposito, coming over to her desk with Ryan and a file in tow.

"Did you get anything?" she asked hopefully.

"Nada. This girl is cleaner than my piece."

"Which one, because Lanie said that one isn't so clean," asked Kate, joking.

Ryan began to laugh and Esposito shot him a death glare.

"What's going on here?" asked Montgomery, coming up to his best Homicide team.

"Nothing," choked out Ryan.

The Captain gave them one of his famous 'I can tell you're lying, but I'm not going to say anything' stares. "Any updates on the case?" he asked.

"Nothing. There is nothing in her background, phones, or financials to suggest why she was killed."

"What about the security tapes?" asked Montgomery.

"Also nothing. The camera blacked out at 2:00 and didn't come back on until 2:45."

"So that gives us a forty five minute window," mused Kate.

"Yeah, but we still don't know where she was murdered."

"Right. And we don't have the bullet or slug to run ballistics."

"Great, so how about tomorrow, I'll go to Columbia with—" Kate stopped herself. "I'll go up to Columbia and talk to some of the students. I want you two to try to track down the next of kin."

"Sure thing."

"Great. I'm going to head out. Have a good night."

"You too, be safe," said Esposito, heading back to his desk.

Kate powered down everything, grabbed her purse and coat, and took one last look at the fortune. She hoped she had the endurance.

**Teaser for some things to look forward to: Alexis and Kate talk, some news for Rick, and something that should hopefully not be too cliche.**

**Please review! I'm also working on the final chapter for Those Three Little Words, so if you haven't read it, go do that and leave me a review, please! Thanks, and enjoy the one week countdown to Till Death Do Us Part. Hopefully I'll have another chapter up for that.**

**Have a good week,  
>Mangotango101 <strong>


	23. Chapter 23

**Well, here's the next chapter. I hope you guys don't kill me!**

**Recap of who's who from last chapter: **Daphne Johnson** - victim of murder. She was found in the penguin tanks at the Central Park Zoo. **Michael Eckleridge - **Johnson's boyfriend.**

**Everyone else is new. They are mostly referred to by last name unless during dialogue. Hope you enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: This is not mine. Anything familiar belongs to AWM, ABC, and whoever actually owns _Castle_. I am not making monetary gain from this, and no copyright infringement is intended.**

**Chapter 23**

Rick stood looking out the window at the passing cars floors below. He had a glass of orange juice in his hand and was sipping it slowly. It wasn't alcohol, but it would have to do; it was only eight in the morning. He had been standing there for close to an hour already, simply thinking.

He didn't hear Alexis come downstairs and make herself breakfast. He didn't hear his mother leave the house. The only thing he could hear was his thoughts. They weren't straying much farther than wondering how the case was progressing and wishing that he were there to help. Another part of him was still fuming at Kate for the things she said. Deep inside, Rick knew that they were only said in the heat of the moment and they were not something Kate would say intentionally, but when they did come out, it made him reevaluate his relationship with her as well as with the rest of his fan base and the precinct. Rick knew that his fans didn't know the 'real him,' because they only say the playboy that appeared on Page Six. He thought about the amazing people he worked with every day at the 12th. Did they think the same thing as Beckett? Did they also believe that he couldn't change? He would hope not. He would have hoped that the past three-plus years would have erased that misconception.

He was brought back to the present when the doorbell rang shrilly. He always hated the _buzz_ that it made, but he never got around to changing it. He heard it buzz twice more in quick succession. There was only one person who was so impatient.

"Coming," he yelled as he ambled to the door. Rick pulled it open to find his agent wearing a skin tight royal blue dress. He briefly wondered how she could sit in it.

"You are not going to believe what I heard today," said Paula, grabbing Rick's lapels and kissing him on each cheek…although it was more like a cheek bump than a kiss.

"Hello to you, too, Paula," Rick answered, gently extracting him from her grasp. "Can I get you anything?"

"Be a doll and get me a gin and tonic, will you?"

"Paula, this is a house, not a bar. And it's only eight-thirty."

"Fine, then I'll take a glass of wine."

Rick rolled his eyes but went to the cabinet to pour her a measure of Chateauneuf-du-Pape. He handed it to her and she took a small sip. "Mm," Paula said, looking at the glass. She sat, looking off into the distance. Rick stood behind the counter, waiting for his agent to say something.

"So," he began. "To what do I owe this pleasure?"

Paula swallowed the mouthful of wine and cleared her throat. "I just heard that they're reoffering. It would be a two-book deal, and the advance is off the charts."

"Hang on," said Rick, scrunching his brow. The alcohol from the night before still had him slightly groggy. "Who is the 'they' and how off the charts?"

"Remember about that deal that I presented about a year ago?"

"You mean…?"

Paula leaned forward, exposing more cleavage than was already visible. "Yes."

"But…they…" stuttered Rick. The offer was unbelievable.

"It didn't work out. They didn't like the guy. So they're looking again."

"They offered to me?"

"Yes. I have the paperwork in my office."

"Paula," began Rick, the reality setting in. "I can't just walk away from Nikki Heat."

"Oh, Ricky, have you gotten together with her yet?"

"No."

Paula scoffed. "Are you sure? Those sex scenes are getting racier by the book."

"I've never been surer that we're not together," said Rick. It hurt him, but he knew that it was true.

"And what's that supposed to mean?"

"I don't really want to talk about it."

"Well if you two aren't doing so great, then why don't you come down to the office, sign the papers. We can have a house and whatnot subsidized in England within the month."

"Wait, I'd have to move to England?"

"Well you think you're going to learn about the MI6 here in New York? They picked you for your researching ethics."

"But Paula…"

"Just think about it, Rick. I have to go, but let me know soon, okay?" Paula stood and handed Rick her empty glass.

"Sure, I'll call you." He led her to the door and she gave him two more check bumps before swaggering out. Rick closed the door and leaned against it, closing his eyes and taking a deep breath. He couldn't believe it. He was being given a second chance to write about character that was the reason he became a writer. It came as a surprise to Rick that he was even considering the idea. It would mean uprooting his life in New York – his friends, his network, and most importantly, his daughter. He knew she had expressed interest in school in England, but he couldn't imagine she would be excited about going for the last year of high school. She would have to leave her friends and Ashley. Rick couldn't do that to her.

He rubbed a hand over his eyes and sank down to the floor. He rested his head on his knees and ran a hand through his hair. His mind was in over drive.

* * *

><p>"Grams," called Alexis, barging into Martha's bedroom.<p>

"What is the matter, darling?" asked Martha, turning from her vanity mirror. The elder red head was covered in a green face mask and she had a pink towel wrapped around her head. Her leopard print robe was hanging open revealing green satin pajama shirt with bright blue leggings.

"Grams, what are you wearing?" asked Alexis, slightly horrified. She would have through that after living with her for years that she would be used to seeing Martha in eclectic clothing, but every day was a new surprise.

"Well I was having trouble deciding what to wear with these pants, so I decided to put my face on first."

"Why do you have to wear those pants?"

"I just found them last night. I think they're from my college years. I wanted to try them on."

Alexis nodded slowly, still apprehensive. She thought that her grandmother wearing clothing from college was a little creepy. Sweet, but creepy.

"Take a seat, sweetie, and tell me what's on your mind."

The young Castle took a seat on her grandmother's bed and breathed in the calming scent of old perfume and wine. It was an interesting combination that used to repulse her when Martha first moved in, but though the years, Alexis had learned to love the smell. "We might be moving to England."

As if the cosmos had planned it, Martha's face mask peeled away and fell to her lap. She didn't seem to notice.

"What?"

"I know. I just heard Dad talking to Paula downstairs. She offered him the Bond books again, telling him he would have to move to England. He and Detective Beckett are in the middle of a fight, and I'm worried that he's going to say yes."

Martha's eyes softened and she gingerly lifted hat was left of the face mask off of her lap and placed it on the vanity. She took a towel and wiped the remainders from her face and then cleaned her hands. She stood and went to the bed to wrap her arms around Alexis, whose eyes were beginning to water.

"Darling, I'm sure that he's not going to move to England."

"It's his dream job. He knows that I'm not crazy about him being at the precinct every day, and maybe he wants a change of location."

"Do you really think your father would pull you from your life and your friends here?" asked Martha. Alexis looked up at her grandmother. Sometimes, Alexis forgot how wise and down to earth Martha could be; the Broadway dramatics occasionally blinded her. "Your father is ambitious, but nothing is more important than his family."

"Grams, I'm still worried."

"It seems as though this is not all that is bothering you," observed Martha. She held Alexis at arm's length, searching her face.

"No, it's not," said Alexis, ducking her head and pushing a stray hair out of her face.

"So tell me more."

The young red head took a deep breath. She had a lot of worries and insecurities, and she wasn't sure if she was ready to admit them yet. They had been things that were building up over the past couple months, but she couldn't stand the idea of disappointing her father.

"I'm angry," she began. Martha didn't interject; she let Alexis speak in her own time. "I'm angry at Detective Beckett for putting my father in danger. I'm angry at Dad for working so hard to be with her even though she's made it clear that she's not ready. I'm angry at him for being so stubborn that he won't listen to anyone. I'm angry at myself for not having the courage to tell him what is on my mind."

Alexis felt the tears leak from her eyes and allowed Martha to comfort her. She had been keeping her emotions inside, usually displacing it onto Ashley, which just led to more fights. It was time for her to get what she was feeling out into the world, but she felt guilty about having the feelings in the first place.

"Oh, sweetie," said Martha, hugging Alexis closer. "Usually in this situation, I'd tell you to drink a bottle of your father's finest wine and go rampant out on the town, but that doesn't really seem appropriate." Alexis laughed at her grandmother. "See? There's the smile that we know and love. But I do think you need to talk to you father. As stubborn as he is, there is no one else who he loves more than you. I also think you should talk to Detective Beckett. She should know what is going through your head. Maybe she can talk to him."

Alexis nodded into Martha's chest, taking deep, shuddering breaths. "I'm sorry, Grams."

"Alexis, Darling, you never have to be sorry. I will always be here to talk to you, if you need. Now go have a nice long conversation with your father."

"I love you, Grams," said Alexis, sitting up and wiping her eyes.

"I love you, too," replied Martha, kissing her granddaughter on the forehead.

Alexis stood and went to the door. She closed it quietly and took a deep breath. She needed to talk to her father, but she was afraid. She didn't know how he would respond, nor did she know whether she wanted to know how he would respond. Slowly, she went down the stairs and found her father in his study. He was looking out the window again, holding two fingers worth of scotch. Maybe she'd have to talk to him about the amount he was drinking as well.

"Hey Dad," she said, standing at the doorway, waiting for permission to enter. It was only polite.

"Hey Pumpkin," answered Rick neutrally. He wanted to look happy for his daughter, but he couldn't find it in him. Then he saw her face. "What's the matter?"

"We have to talk."

* * *

><p>"Morning gentlemen," said Kate, walking swiftly into the bullpen. She balanced a cup of coffee in one hand, and her phone, keys, pen, and jacket in the other. "Sorry I'm late."<p>

It had been a late night and she slept a little too late. It surprised her how much of a difference three minutes made in getting to the precinct. Instead of the usual half hour commute, it took her close to an hour and quarter to get to work.

"Not a problem," said Esposito, rushing to take the coffee from her hands and place it on her desk. Kate smiled in gratitude. She dumped her stuff in a desk drawer and pulled out her leather folder.

"Okay, update me," she demanded as she uncapped a ball point pen. Ryan came over with a folder and handed it to her.

"Daphne Johnson has no next of kin we could find."

"No one?" asked Kate. It was extremely rare to find someone with no family.

"No. There are five Daphne Johnsons in the tri-state area, but they are all accounted for. It's almost as if our vic didn't exist."

"Well she had to exist, she's in our morgue," said Kate.

"I know that, but we just didn't find anyone to notify."

"Okay," Kate replied, making a note of it. She looked at the murder board and back at her notes. "I'm going to go to the morgue to see if Lanie has anything for us. I want you guys to look into her background. Anything that can suggest why she was murdered. Also, try to see if you can find anything that would lead us to the murder site. We need to find that crime scene."

"Yes, Ma'am," said Esposito, mock saluting her.

Kate narrowed her eyes. She knew Esposito was joking, but she did hate being called 'Ma'am.' It made her feel so old. "Watch it," she said, smiling at the corners of her mouth.

She stood and gathered what she would need for the morgue. Kate was grateful for the usual morning. There was no mention or hint of what had transpired the day before. It was as if her team had forgotten that there was something amiss the day before.

Kate took the short ride to the parking lot and cursed the traffic on the way to the morgue. It was heavy New York traffic, and it was on days like that when Kate semi-questioned whether she actually liked living in New York. The city was filled with bad memories. Sometimes she wished that she had the courage to pick up and leave and start a new life somewhere else. Somewhere where no one knew her or her history.

But then something would happen. Anything, really. It would remind her of why she loved the Big Apple. God, apples. _No Kate, _she reprimanded herself. _Not the time. You're doing well today so far._ Also, there was no way she could leave her friends and her job. There was nothing for her outside her job. Where would she go where she could have a career like the one she ran now? Boston? No, the crime rate wasn't high enough. Although…_No, Kate,_ her inner voice screamed again. _You cannot move to Boston. You can't be a Yankees fan there! As if that's my greatest concern. Well it should be. _She shook herself from her thoughts. Yes, Boston would be impractical. There was always California or Chicago.

But that line of thinking was ridiculous, because she wasn't going anywhere. She was a New Yorker at heart. She couldn't live anywhere else.

On autopilot, she made her way to Examination Room 3. The room that was designated for Dr. Parish.

"Hey girl," greeted the ME.

"Hey Lanie. I'm here to see if you have anything for me."

"Yes, actually," said Lanie, looking at the body. "I found a bullet fragment in her sternum. It corresponds to the Glock, but I can't give you a caliber without the rest of the bullet. I also narrowed time of death to between seven and eleven this morning."

"Great. Tox screens?"

"Negative."

"Okay, great. I'm going to go uptown. Let me know if there's anything new." She made to leave when her friend squeezed in front of the door.

"Kate, wait," Lanie said, holding the door closed. "You're not going anywhere until you talk to me about what's going on with you and Writer Boy."

"Lanie, I said I don't want to talk about," insisted Kate, trying to open the door.

"But that doesn't mean you don't need to. Please, Kate."

"If you weren't my best friend, I would pull my gun on you," said Kate, pulling away from the door and going to sit in the swivel chair by a desk. Lanie smiled at her success and hoisted herself up onto one of the examination table.

"You sure you want to sit on that?" asked Kate, slightly disgusted.

"Yeah, it's fine. No one has used this one in a week. Now talk, girl."

"Well," began Kate. She was trying to decide how much to tell Lanie. "I asked him to come over earlier so we could talk. When he got there, we started talking and he said something and I just snapped. I started yelling at him that he was a playboy and that I didn't want to be another one of his conquests."

"How did he take that?"

"Not well," said Kate with a small smile. "He began yelling at me, and then suddenly, he asked if—you know what? I'm gonna go to Morningside Heights. I'll see you later."

Kate stood from the chair, but Lanie pushed her back down with a surprising amount of force. "Not so fast, young lady. Now finish your story."

The detective sighed. "Fine. So he asked me whether he could be my 'one and done.'"

"What?" Lanie shrieked so loudly that Kate honestly thought that one of the corpse was going to jump off the table. "What did you say?"

"No."

"Why the hell did you say that? He's been in love with you since day one!"

"I told him I wasn't ready yet. Then we started fighting about my mom."

Lanie got off the metal table and put her arm around Kate. She hugged the detective closer, stroking her hair.

"Uhh, Lanie?" asked Kate from somewhere around Lanie's midriff. "I'm okay."

The ME pulled away, tucking a hair behind her ear. "Sorry."

"No, it's okay."

"So what happened next?"

"I got the call about the body and then he left."

"Kate, I'm so sorry…"

"It's really okay, Lanie. I'm fine. But I really do need to go uptown. I'll be in touch, okay?" said Kate, leaving. Lanie didn't protest.

The minute Kate was out of the Examination room, she felt tears prickle behind her eyes. As she was telling Lanie about the fight, it hit her just how many issues she and Rick had to work through before they could be happy. She wanted to be able to be happy with him, but she knew she couldn't. Rehashing the fight was hard enough – she hoped they wouldn't have to have another one like it, yet her detective intuition was telling her something different.

She went to her car and started the ignition. As she was driving uptown, she kept flicking her eyes to the passenger seat, hoping that he would be sitting there, building theory with her. She missed the comfort of his presence. It frightened her a little how dependent she had become, but she justified it, telling herself it was only because he had some plausible ideas. Sometimes.

* * *

><p>"Dad, we have to talk," said Alexis, going into his study and sitting in the big leather chair.<p>

"What's up, Pumpkin?" asked Rick, setting his drink on the desk and leaning against it.

"I don't want to move to England," she blurted out.

"What?"

"I heard you and Paula talking. I don't want to move to England."

"I know you don't, sweetie, but I still have to think about it as a possibility."

Alexis stared at her father in disbelief. "What? Why?"

"I think it's time to move on from New York."

"Move on from New York or move away because you and Detective Beckett had a fight?"

Rick looked at his daughter in surprise. _How could she have known?_ He asked himself. "What?"

"Oh, don't try to hide it from me, Dad. I saw you at the fundraiser. You've been mopey ever since. I know that you and Detective Beckett are having a fight, but that's no reason to run across the Atlantic."

"Alexis, sweetie, I know that you don't like it, but I have to consider it. It's a huge opportunity for me."

"Dad, why are you being so selfish?" asked Alexis. She could feel the dam breaking. Part of her was guilty that she was putting her father through another 'let-it-all-spill-out' speech, but she couldn't stop it. She supposed it was what Kate felt like.

"What do you mean?" replied Castle, standing, and moving to crouch near his daughter. He could also feel the rising tension of the room, but did his best to ignore it.

Alexis sat in the chair, twisting her hands in her lap. "I don't know, lately I feel like you've been a lot more selfish about what you've been doing. Like your work with Detective Beckett. I'm glad to see you happy, Dad, I really am, but do you have to put yourself into danger all the time?"

"Pumpkin, I've been careful."

"Really? Then what about that case you worked on a couple months ago? With the bomb? You call that careful?" asked the red head. Her feelings were rising – she was finally letting out everything she had been keeping inside. She stood up, her emotion taking over. "You almost froze to death, and you stopped a dirty bomb. Dad, I don't think I was ever more scared than when I knew you were in trouble. Every time you walk through the door in the morning, I wonder whether you're going to come home. You're not a detective."

"I know that, Alexis, but doing this—going to the precinct every day…it gives me a sense of purpose…a reason to do what I do."

"You know what used to give you a sense of purpose?" challenged Alexis. "Being my father. Playing laser tag with me. Fencing with me. Do you know how long it's been since we've done any of that? Of course not, because you're too busy running around New York almost getting killed."

Rick's heart broke, knowing what his daughter thought of him. "You're still my favorite person in the world, Alexis," said Rick, standing to intercept his daughter's pacing. "Never forget that. There will never be someone who takes your place. Do you understand?"

"It sure doesn't feel that way," said Alexis, rolling her eyes. "Are you sure Detective Beckett isn't?"

"What? No, of course not! I like her, and I enjoy working with her, but she has nothing on you. You'll always be my treasure in life. I love you, Alexis."

"I love you, too, Dad," she reciprocated hurriedly, "but you have to see this situation from my point of view. Just listen to me. You've had no training, yet you still go out on the streets chasing down mass gunmen, serial killers, and escaped felons. You think you know everything because you write about it. Well, you know what? You don't. Sure you look at cases in different ways, and sometimes I help you, but that doesn't mean that you can run after suspects and get into gun battles. You're not a cop, so stop pretending."

"Do you want me to stop going to the precinct?" asked Rick, taking his daughter's hands.

"Part of me, yes, but part of me just feels guilty for asking you to stop doing what I know you love. I don't know, Dad. I just really needed to tell you all of this."

"Well, I don't think you have to worry about me going to the Twelfth any time soon."

"I'm sorry about your fight with Detective Beckett," said Alexis, looking at her father. He smiled back at her.

"Me too, Pumpkin, but you know what? I'm going to let her come to me. I've fixed our fights more than what should be fair. And hey, when did you start calling her Detective Beckett again?"

"I only call her 'Kate' to her face. I still think of her as 'Detective Beckett,'" admitted Alexis.

"That's very grown up of you, sweetie," said Rick, pulling her into a hug. She stiffened for a moment, but she then reciprocated. "I love you."

"I love you, too," she said, her voice muffled.

"Are we good?" he asked, pulling away, looking into her bright blue eyes.

"For now," she answered truthfully. Rick smiled and pulled her into a bear hug.

"If you ever want to talk again, please don't wait. I want to know what you think."

"Okay, Dad," said Alexis. She was glad she got some of her insecurities out, but she was also glad that it did not end in a huge fight between her and her dad. She really hated fighting with him.

Rick kissed the top of her head, happy that they made up and also that she was willing to tell him what was on her mind.

"I gotta go do some homework. I also promised Ashley that he could come over to help me study," she said, pulling away.

Rick looked at her, sizing up what she said. "Just so long as you two actually study."

Alexis rolled her eyes at her father's misplaced concern. "Please, Dad, ew."

"Have fun, Pumpkin," he said, lightly patting her on the back to shoo her out the door.

He went to the kitchen to make a cup of coffee. He threw in some extra espresso since he was still a little groggy from his awkward night of sleep. Rick closed his eyes as he let the rich scent of brewing coffee drift over him.

He brought the steaming 'Richard Castle' mug back with him to his desk. He pulled open his computer to see if there was any more news on the case that Kate was working. Coming up with nothing, he closed his computer and pulled out a yellow pad of paper. He took one his favorite pens and drew a line down the middle. On one side he wrote 'PROS' and on the other, he wrote 'CONS.' It was something he had begun when he was in college, still trying to decide what to do with his life. Every time he was faced with a new dilemma, he would make a pro/con list. So far, it had done nothing to help him make a decision, but it made it easier to get his thoughts out of paper.

Rick was just about to write down the first bullet point when his phone rang. He saw Gina's picture and sighed. He didn't really want to have to deal with her, but he knew that she would just keep calling if he didn't pick up.

"Hello Gina, if you're looking for your alimony check, it's not due for another week."

"Ha ha, very funny, Richard, but no. This call is strictly business. A little birdy told me that you were offered the—"

"Don't say it!" cried Rick. "You'll jinx it."

"You're being ridiculous. You've already been offered. There's nothing to jinx. Anyway, I'm getting off topic. I just wanted to remind you that you have a contract with Black Pawn for four Nikki Heats. You've only written three. You know the consequences for pulling out of the contract."

"You know, Gina, if you weren't so blood sucking, I would make a sexual joke, but…"

"What are you, Richard? Ten? No, you should know what you're facing if you decide to take the other offer. Speaking of which, we're expecting a new manuscript by the end of next month."

Rick paused. He knew he had a deadline coming up, but in light of recent events, he was still trying to figure out how to balance the research with his refusal to go crawling back to Kate.

"Uhh, that might be a bit of a problem," he said slowly.

"Are you and Detective Beckett having issues?"

"You could put it like that…"

"Richard, you still have to follow her. That's half the appeal of the book!"

"And here I was thinking that it was for my enticing plot lines and my invigorating prose."

"Please, Rick. I don't care how you do it, but you will have a manuscript on my desk before the end of next month, do you understand me?"

"Yeah, sure, Gina."

"Good bye."

"Bye."

Rick hung up the phone. _Oh great. Just what I need now…_

* * *

><p>"I'm Detective Kate Beckett, with the NYPD. I'm here to ask you some questions about your teacher, Professor Johnson," said Kate, shaking hands with a sad looking college student.<p>

"I'm Natalie Turner," said the brunette sadly. She was short—not extremely, but enough that Kate towered over her. Turner had curly brown hair that went to her shoulders. She had piercing blue eyes, and she looked as sharp as a nail.

"What was your relationship with Professor Johnson?"

"She was my favorite teacher. I took her Intro to Anthropology class in Freshman year. I was all set to go into pre-med, but as soon as I left the classroom for the first time, I knew that I was going to be an anthropologist. She was my role model."

"So I take it you know her well?"

"Better than anyone other than the faculty."

"What can you tell me about her?"

"Nothing other than she was the nicest person. I never once saw her get mad or frustrated. She teaches large lectures, but she always had a way to make sure that every single person was listening and paying attention. Her smaller seminar classes were fantastic. We had discussions that I never thought I could have in college."

Kate nodded. "Do you know anyone who might have wanted to hurt her?"

Turner looked appalled at the idea. "No, of course not. She was the sweetest person. She was always available for office hours, unlike some of the other professors. She knew how to make every student feel like they were the only one."

"Ms. Turner, I understand that you had great respect for Professor Johnson, but I need you to think really hard. Is there _anyone_ in her life or on campus that could have had even the smallest grudge against her?"

Natalie Turner looked into the distance, trying to think. She was feeling slightly overwhelmed by Kate's height, but she knew she hadn't done anything wrong, so what was there to fear of the NYPD?

"No, I'm sorry, Detective, I really can't think of anything."

Kate sighed. She really wished she was going to get more out of the student. "What can you tell me about Michael Eckleridge?"

"The Marine Biologist? Not much. Gretta Marshal is my best friend. She warned me they might ask me about him."

Kate never liked to hear those words come out of a person of interest's mouth. It meant that for the most part, whatever was going to be said was not completely true or accurate.

"What did you think of him?" asked Kate, putting an emphasis on the word 'you.'

"Nothing really. I never really interacted with him. I knew that they were together – everyone knew. But I wasn't in his field, and we didn't overlap."

"I'm sorry to have to ask you this, but where were you between seven and eleven this morning?"

"Why?"

"I want to know your alibi for Johnson's murder."

"Oh. I woke up at seven-thirty. I got some breakfast at eight-thirty at the café in the student center. I was in class by nine. I had a lecture that went until eleven-fifteen."

"Which class?"

"It was Ancient Near East Civilizations and How They Functioned, with Professor Maxis."

"Thank you, Ms. Turner, you've been a great help."

"Not a problem, Detective. Anything I can do to help find the guy who killed Daph—I mean Professor Johnson."

Kate was about to talk away when she heard the slip of tongue

"Ms. Turner, were you on a first name basis with Ms. Johnson?"

"What?" asked Natalie, looking rattled. "No, I—she was my teacher, nothing more. I swear."

Kate looked at Turner, trying to figure out if the student was lying. Kate had a hunch, but she didn't think that she had the resources to follow that line of investigation at that moment.

"Okay," said Kate slowly. She pulled out a card from her jacket pocket. "Here's my card. Give me a call if you think of anything."

"Of course, Detective."

Kate nodded and began to leave. She stopped when she heard Natalie calling to her. "Detective, wait!"

"Yes, Ms. Turner?" asked Kate, turning to face the young woman.

"Please, I beg you, find this bastard."

"Ms. Turner, are you sure that there were no underlying feelings?"

"I'm positive," said Natalie, not quite meeting Kate's eyes. "I—it's just that she was such an amazing teacher and person. She changed my life. She was going to be my advisor for my senior thesis, and now what? I have no one to turn to anymore. I'm not from around here…"

Kate adjusted her posture and took out her notepad again. She could tell that the student was about to tell more that would give insight to the victim.

"I came here from a small town in Wyoming," Turner continued. "The only role models I had there were my older brothers who worked on our farm. I drove two hours each way to the local high school. I took every advanced class and every enrichment program I could get my hands on. Coming here, to New York, was my dream. I wanted to get out of the small town. I wanted to make a name for myself. Professor Johnson was helping me. When I got here, I realized that New York is nothing like in the movies or on TV. It is a harsh place where no one is friendly and no one wants anything to do with you unless you're going to help them directly." _Ain't that the truth,_ Kate thought to herself silently. She had seen so many murders because of greed and ambition.

"Professor Johnson was the first person to show me that there were nice people in New York." Kate focused her mind back to the student. "She gave me a new point of view. I was ready to go back to Wyoming, but Professor Johnson stopped me. She talked me into staying. She was the only person here who meant anything to me. Without her here, I'm nothing. That's why I want you to find her killer."

Kate was touched by the story, but she knew better than to let it mess with her head. She would still check her alibi. As she went to her car, she thought about the interview. It struck her as odd that this student would be so attached to the teacher. It made her wonder if there was anything else below the surface. It was curious, because it wasn't like the vic was a male teacher or anything. Not that there was anything wrong with being lesbian, but it just forced Kate to think in a different light.

She was pulling out of her parking space when she turned on her headset to call the boys at the precinct.

"Ryan here," came the answer on the other line.

"Hey, any luck?"

"Nada. You?"

"Kind of. Could you please check—" Kate chanced a glance at her notepad. "—the nine am lecture with Professor Maxis titled Ancient Near East Civilizations and How They Functioned? See if Natalie Turner is on the list. Then find out if she was in class."

"Right away, Boss."

"Great, thanks. I'll be back soon."

"No rush. Bye," said Ryan, hanging up the phone. Kate pulled the headset out of her ear and focused on driving back to the precinct.

* * *

><p>Rick sat at his desk with his computer opened. He had finished his pro and con list and it looked like he was staying in New York. Some part of him always knew there was no chance he was moving to England, but it was nice to know that there was someone out there who wanted him enough.<p>

He pulled up the blank document and watched the black line disappear and reappear. He clicked on the button that would create bullet points and spent the next five minutes picking the perfect one. Not that he really cared, but it would make his page look more festive. He chose a rotating set of colors in different shapes. Not being able to stall longer, he began to write.

The words started flowing out. They had a life of their own. He loved it when writing came so easily to him. Sometimes, he would have to spend hours agonizing over plot lines and character developments, but at times like these, he remembered why he became an author.

Pausing from his furious typing, he stood and pulled out his screen. He plugged his computer in and was satisfied when the picture appeared. He began to move things around and add boxes and subtexts. It was his process – he had to come up with the perfect crime. Then he could write the book.

He separated the windows into three different sections: the murder plot, the Heat/Rook story arc, and other plot lines involving the secondary characters. He erased and retyped things over and over again. He played around with scenarios and added pictures. It was still far from a complete work, but it was taking shape.

Then it hit him. The perfect title.

"Hey Dad," said Alexis, coming into his study, hugging him from behind. "What's all this?"

"I got a call from Gina reminding me about my contract with Black Pawn. She told me that I had to finish my last Nikki Heat book – unless they order more."

"So…" began Alexis, moving to the front of her father. "We're not moving to England?"

"No," said Rick, smiling. "We're staying right here."

Alexis beamed and threw her hands around her father's neck. "I love you, Dad."

"I love you too, Pumpkin."

She pulled away and began to study his murder board. "This looks interesting. Do you have a title yet?"

"Yep, I just thought of it."

"Pray tell."

"_Taking Heat_," said Rick with a dramatic flourish.

"I like it. But is it supposed to be referencing lots of fighting and taking heat like that? Or Rook physically taking Heat to be his own?"

"You'll have to read to find out, won't you?" asked Rick mysteriously.

"Good title, Dad. I like it."

"Thanks. I think that it will fit this book perfectly."

"How is Detective Beckett going to handle you writing another book?"

"Well, she knows I have one more in my contract, but as for the shadowing? I'm not sure. I have enough research for fifty books, so I'll start with that. Hopefully, I'll get to have some real experience to authenticate taking heat."

"Dad, ew, I do _not_ need to know that! Gross," shrieked Alexis, scrunching her face and covering her ears. Rick laughed, and realized that he really did want a chance to take some heat.

* * *

><p>"Beckett, there is someone here to see you," said Ryan, coming over to her desk. Kate was grateful for the distraction. She had been running scenarios through her head and updating the murder board. She was ready for some new information; she had hashed and rehashed the old information to the point of it being obsolete.<p>

"Who is it?"

"A Benni Witherstein. She says she has some information she'd like to share with us."

"Great, tell her I'll meet her in Interview Room Two."

Ryan nodded and went to bring the girl to the room. Kate capped the marker she had been using, took one last look at the board, before going to meet the person of interest.

"Hi, I'm Detective Beckett."

"Yes, I know who you are," said the girl. She looked like she was about twenty and she had a British accent.

"What can I do for you?"

"I heard that you were talking to Natalie. She's my best friend, and I think there's something you should know about her."

Kate pulled out a notebook and leaned in, encouraging the student to continue.

"She's gay," said Witherstein. "We were at a party and she had a trifle too much to drink and she told me that she was in love with Professor Johnson. I think that's why she is being so adamant that this case be solved."

Kate reeled with the new revelation. Her original suspicion that there was more between the two than a student/teacher relationship was correct. She only wondered what other information it would reveal.

"Thank you for telling me this, Ms. Witherstein. I'm sure it was hard for you to come forward."

"Yes. But that's not all. About three days ago, Nat and I were walking and we saw Professor Johnson arguing with some guy. He was huge. Like muscular and heavy. He looked like he could kill. They were going at it…I mean, really quarreling. Nat wanted to say something, but I forced her to keep it quiet. It wasn't our place to be spying."

"Did you happen to catch a name?"

"Yes, I heard her say 'Rodney,' but that's it."

"Could you give us a description?"

"For sure. I could even draw him for you. I'm an drawing major," explained Witherstein. "I transferred from Tisch."

"Thank you for the offer," said Kate diplomatically, "but I think we're going to ask the NYPD sketch artist."

"Of course, Detective."

"Thank you again for coming down, Ms. Witherstein. I'll take you to him now."

Kate stood and led to girl to their sketch artist. She left her in the hands of a uniform and made her way back to her desk. She squeaked out the new information that Benni Witherstein gave them. Finally, she was getting somewhere with the case.

She stepped back and got herself a cup of coffee. She brought it to her desk where she booted her computer from its slumber. It groaned, but opened. She quickly checked her email, hoping against hope that Rick had emailed her. She checked her phone, sighing in disappointment that he hadn't texted her. This was the longest they hadn't talked since the summer when he went to the Hamptons. Yet, somehow, this hurt worse.

Deep inside, she knew now that it was going to be her job to mend the bridges. The task was daunting to her, but she knew it had to be done. There was no other way to get him back as her partner. She still didn't quite understand what was so hard. They both loved each other. She wished they could just live happily ever after, but one thing she learned from working as a cop was that there was no such thing as happily ever after. Every relationship is littered with skeletons in closets and ungodly fights. This was one she would have to ride through and then make up with him.

"Hey yo, Beckett," said Esposito, coming to her with a sketch pad. "Here's the sketch of the dude our vic was talking to."

Kate looked at it and agreed that this man looked like he could kill. He had heavy features and was very muscular. "Run it through facial recognition. State and Federal."

Esposito nodded and went back to his desk. Kate rested her hand on her chin, ready to return to her musings. Before she could, she heard Esposito's computer beep, indicating it had IDed the guy.

"That was fast, Espo," she said, taking a sip of coffee.

"Well he was in the system," Esposito said, walking back to Beckett's desk. "Ryan, c'mere. You're not gonna want to miss this," he called to his partner.

"What is it?"

"We IDed the guy our vic was fighting with," said Beckett.

"Oh, who is it?"

"You're not going to believe it. His name is Rodney Harrison."

Esposito handed the file to Beckett, who read it swiftly. Her jaw dropped lower, each passing second. _Man, I wish Castle were here_, she thought.

"Our vic was an undercover agent," said Esposito, not being able to keep it inside any longer.

Kate stared in disbelief at her team. They were both a dumbfounded as she was. "Daphne Johnson was a CIA agent."

**Dun dun duuun! Okay, so I hope I kept everyone in character, specifically Martha/Alexis scene/dynamic. Please tell me otherwise. And yes, I know that Kate and Rick had no interaction this chapter, but the next one will. It might not be up for a while, seeing as the semester is coming to a close, but don't give up on me, please!**

**Hope you enjoyed tonight's episode (ahh...mayor...conspiracy...Wendell Bray...awesome!). Please leave me a review : )**

**Have a good week!**  
><strong>Mangotango101<strong>


	24. Chapter 24

**I am embarrassed at how long this took, but I already have Chapter 25 in the works. Unfortunately, the case does not get solved in this chapter, but it will in the next. Apparently, I'm really bad at planning how many chapters a murder will take.**

**Anyway, here is the list of characters from the last chapter that you will need.  
><strong>Daphne Johnson (aka Melissa Andrews)** - the murder victim. She is also a CIA agent. Henceforward known as Melissa Andrews.  
><strong>Agent Rodney Harrison - **Melissa's supervisor at the** CIA.  
>Michael Eckleridge - <strong>Daphne Johnson's boyfriend. Marine biologist.<strong>  
><strong>Quick recap: Castle gets the Bond offer again but declines after having a heart to heard with Alexis. He also begins planning <em>Taking Heat<em>, the fourth installment. Kate and Lanie talk about The Fight. Kate talks to a student who was in love with the victim. They learn that the vic was fighting with a man who turned out to be from the CIA.**

**I hope that you enjoy this chapter. I will get on the next one now. Thank you for bearing with me. I really appreciate it.**

**Disclaimer: Anything you recognize does not belong to me. _Castle_ and its franchise belongs to AWM, ABC, and whoever actually owns it. _Dr. Horrible's Sing Along Blog_ belongs to Jed and Joss Whedon. **

**Chapter 24 **

Kate and Ryan stepped out of her car and looked up at the imposing World Trade Center building.

She had had an awful night's sleep. She tossed and turned, replaying her fight with Castle. Her dreams were plagued with yelling at a shadow – every horrific thing she said to him, over and over. She saw a figure that looked eerily similar to Castle lying on a tarp just like the one Melissa Andrews was lying on. Kate woke up covered is sweat and her heart pounding. It took her a couple minutes to remind herself that it was just a dream. Her hand moved automatically to her phone in order to call Castle to make sure that he was okay, but stopped as she unlocked her phone. She couldn't call him. Kate pulled herself out of bed and got ready for work. She put on copious amounts of eye makeup to hide the dark circles.

"So this is the CIA Field Office?" asked Ryan.

"I believe so," answered Kate, jerking back into the present. She had chosen to bring Ryan partly because she felt like they needed some time to bond, but partly because Ryan was not as pushy about her personal life. He was not as perceptive as his partner. Esposito was slightly offended that he had to stay back and do the scut work. "But that's Ryan's job," he had said. Kate stared at him until he went back to his desk with his tail between his legs.

The pair stepped inside and flashed their badges at the receptionist. "We're looking for Rodney Harrison," said Kate, using a cop voice.

"Do you have an appointment?" asked the receptionist coolly.

"No, but speaking from one Law Enforcement agency to another, I don't think I need one. Now please direct me to his office."

The receptionist looked at Kate appraisingly for a moment before turning to Ryan. A slight smile appeared on her face.

"By all means," she said to the Irish. "I apologize. He's on the fifth floor. Get off the elevators and take a right. I'll call up to the office there." Kate rolled her eyes at the woman's reaction to Ryan, but stalked to the elevators in silence.

"Are you this disdainful when you're with Castle and he gets attention?" teased Ryan in the elevator. Kate smiled in response.

"Let's go," she said furtively as the elevator doors opened. They stepped off and walked down a long, marble hall. They reached a glass door that had a doorbell on one side and an electronic card reader on the other. Kate pressed the buzzer and waited for a response.

"Yes?" came a crackly voice through the intercom.

"This is Detectives Beckett and Ryan with the NYPD."

"Oh, yes, we've been expecting you. Come in," the voice said as the door clicked open. Ryan pulled it open and motioned for Kate to go through first.

"I'm perfectly capable of opening a door, Ryan," she said.

"Hey, check this out," Ryan said, obviously trying to skirt the observation. He was pointing to a set of steel, sliding doors with the CIA logo imprinted on them. There was another buzzer and electronic card reader, and in addition, there was a scanner. This time, Ryan pressed the button.

"Umm, I thought you said we could come in," said Ryan through the small microphone.

"Please, Detective Ryan, this is the CIA. You really think it would be that easy? Please put your respective badges and driver's licenses under the scanner, and answer these questions."

"We're the NYPD, so you better just let us in," said Kate.

"And we're the CIA, so you better follow our protocol. Your badge, Detective Beckett."

Kate sighed and placed her badge under the scanner. Ryan followed suit. A red beam flashed over them and a beeping sound could be heard through the intercom.

"Please answer these questions," said the voice. "Detective, what is your call number?"

"That's your security question? Anyone can find that out."

"Answer the question." Kate had a strange sensation that she was being interrogated.

"Fine. It's one-Lincoln-forty."

"And yours, Detective Ryan?"

"William-sixteen."

"Very good. Now please tell me how you like your coffee."

"Again, a stupid question."

"Detective Beckett, if you have any intention of getting in here, you better start cooperating."

"This is ridiculous. I take a grande skim latte two pumps sugar free vanilla."

"Detective Ryan?"

"Regular with sugar and cream."

"What was the name of your childhood pet?"

"Trick question, I didn't have a childhood pet," said Kate.

"Harvette. I named him Harvey, but then she got pregnant, so I changed the name to Harvette," said Ryan. Kate looked at him questioningly. "What? I was five."

"Detective Beckett, how did Mr. Castle describe your former relationship with FBI Agent Sorenson?"

"What? How could you possibly know the answer to that?"

"We're the CIA," answered the voice in a bored tone. "Your answer?"

"He said it was a panda. Don't ask," she added for Ryan when he gave her a questioning look.

"Detective Ryan, who did your fiancée sleep with while you two were dating?"

This time, it was Kate who gave Ryan an incredulous look. "Michael Bailey," he answered easily.

"I am satisfied that you two are not imposters. Please, come in."

The steel doors opened with a hiss.

"I swear, if there is another door beyond this one, I will shoot it down with my gun," said Kate as they crossed the threshold. What greeted them was a long, dark hallway with arched, stone walls. There was a white light at the end of the hall.

"No need for that, Detective," came a deep, calming voice from the light. As if in a movie, a dark silhouette appeared backlit. "I'm Agent Harrison. I believe you requested a meeting with me."

"Finally," muttered Ryan.

"Yes. Is there somewhere more opportune to speak?" asked Kate, not stopping in her decent down the long hall.

"Of course, please follow me."

Kate and Ryan followed the silhouette to the end of the hallway/tunnel. It opened to a warm reception room where there was a kind looking woman sitting at a desk, speaking into an earpiece. "Would you please place your driver's license on the scanner?"

"So you're the one who asked all the ridiculous questions," joked Ryan as they passed.

"Guilty," answered the woman. "Excuse me," she said as she turned her attention back to her headset and computer.

"Detectives, I believe this will suit your purpose just fine," said Harrison, gesturing for them to take a seat. Kate waited for the door to close and the large man to sit before sitting herself. The room was light and airy. There were floor to ceiling windows that gave her a lovely panorama of downtown New York. The upholstery looked mass produced, but it was not distasteful. Kate briefly wondered where all the harried agents, large computer terminals, and state of the arts technology were. She guessed that it was somewhere past five more secured doors…far from civilian eyes.

"I can only assume you're here because of Daphne Johnson, aka, Agent Melissa Andrews," said Harrison, crossing his legs.

Kate saw that he was trying to take control of the situation, so she immediately began the interview.

"What was the nature of your relationship with her?"

"I was her supervisor."

"Can you tell me about her mission?"

"I'm sorry, Detective, but that is classified information."

Kate sighed. She knew getting information out of the CIA would not be simple. "I can get a warrant, if that's what it'll take."

Harrison squinted at Kate, trying to decide whether it was worth it.

"Fine," the CIA agent agreed. "Melissa Andrews was investigating a professor at Columbia who was suspected of being a spy for China to indoctrinate students to turn against the US government."

"People would do that?" asked Ryan.

"You'd be surprised," said Harrison, looking at Ryan as if he were an idiot.

"What were you arguing about with Ms. Andrews three days ago?"

"_Agent_ Andrews. And I have not seen her for a week."

"Right," said Kate, suppressing an eye roll. "Now, I would believe you, except that we have a witness who places you near the University exchanging heated words with my victim. So, Agent Harrison, please tell me what you were arguing about or you will become a prime suspect in a murder investigation. I'm sure that _your_ supervisor would not want to hear about that."

"You drive a hard bargain, Detective."

"I work Homicide," she said simply.

"I hear. Okay, we were arguing because I thought that she was taking her eye off the ball."

"What do you mean by that?"

"We would have weekly check ins, and I always saw her with that teacher. I assumed that they were together, and they were spending too much time together. He was being a distraction."

"So," said Kate, shifting in her seat. "I take it you would be worried that she would slip up and let someone know that she was an undercover agent."

"That is correct."

"Agent Harrison, where were you between seven and eleven Monday morning?"

"Are you asking for my alibi?"

"It would appear so," said Ryan.

"Fine. I had a meeting from nine-thirty until lunch time."

"Which is what?" prompted Kate.

"Twelve-ish."

"Where were you before that?" asked Ryan, breaking into the conversation.

"I was here, working."

"Is there anyone who can corroborate that?"

"I'm sure Janna can."

"Who's Janna?"

"The lady at the desk."

"Thank you, Agent Harrison. We will be in touch," said Kate, standing. The agent stood with her and held his hand out to shake.

"Good to finally meet you, Detective Beckett. I've heard a lot about you."

"I'm sure you have," Kate answered coolly. She knew that the next sentence would have something to do with Nikki Heat. Damned book. Damned Castle.

"I think I might like Nikki Heat better."

Kate sighed. _Called it,_ she thought. "Interesting, but, sorry to break it to you, Nikki Heat only lives on paper. I'm afraid you'll have to deal with the real thing."

"I'm sure I'll be able to," said the man, looking her up and down.

"Hey," said Ryan sharply. "Have a good day." The Irish walked out of the room, and Kate followed him.

"What a jerk," Ryan muttered as they walked down the long, stone hall to the steel doors.

"Ryan," scolded Kate. "But yeah, kinda."

They reached the door and found no way to open it. "What is your favorite kind of pizza?" came a voice that echoed through the tunnel.

"You have got to be kidding me," said Kate, rolling her eyes and placing her hands on her hips.

"I sure am. Thank you for visiting the New York CIA Field Office. Please come again soon, but only if it is you."

The double doors hissed open, and the two detectives made their way back to Kate's car.

"Ryan," she said as they pulled into traffic. "I want you to go back to the precinct and check into Harrison's alibi. I'm going to go with Esposito to talk to Andrews' parents."

"Where do they live?"

"Up in the Heights. West One-Seventy-Third and Audubon."

"Why can't I go with you?"

"Ryan," warned Kate.

"Fine." Ryan moped the rest of the ride back to the 12th.

* * *

><p>"Hey Espo, you're with me," called Kate, stepping off the elevator of the Fourth floor.<p>

Esposito looked up from his desk, as if questioning whether she was joking or not. "Seriously?"

"Yes, now let's go."

"See ya, sucker," hissed Esposito jokingly as he passed Ryan.

"Be nice," said Kate. _It's like running a Kindergarten_.

"So where are we going?" asked Esposito as Kate sailed up St. Nicholas Avenue.

"West One-Seventy-Third and Audubon. We're almost there." Kate took a right onto 173rd and pulled her car to a stop in a double parked parking space.

"I could cite you, you know," joke Esposito.

"And I could arrest you for assaulting an officer," Kate quipped back

"Let's just call it even."

Kate nodded and headed for an apartment building. She buzzed the bell for apartment 16c.

"Who's there?"

"Detectives Beckett and Esposito with the NYPD. We have some questions about your daughter."

"Oh, of course, Detectives. Please, come in."

The door buzzed, notifying her that the locking system had been disarmed. Esposito pushed open the door and motioned for her to proceed.

"What is it with you guys opening doors for me today?" she asked.

"I don't know why Ryan did it, but I do it out of habit. Once, Ryan and I were on a case and he pulled open the door, hitting himself in the head. Ever since, I've opened any doors."

"Good to know I have such competent team mates, huh?"

"As long as we've got a good boss."

Kate rolled her eyes. "Uh huh, sure."

"Hello, Detectives," said a woman's voice from the landing. A slightly plump woman, wearing a floral dress and a lilac cardigan was looking over the railing, showing Kate and Esposito where to go.

"Mrs. Andrews?" asked Esposito.

"Yes, that's me. Please, come in. Would you like some water—" Kate opened her mouth to respond. "—or some juice? We have apple, orange, and cranberry. You know, cranberry juice is beneficial to your GI system."

"Uh, Mrs. Andrews, we're fine, thank you."

"Okay. Let me get you some water anyway."

Esposito shook his head, knowing there was no way they would be getting out of accepting some kind of refreshment from the woman.

"Hello Mr. Andrews," said Kate politely, shaking the hand of a distinguished looking man. He wore a royal blue cable sweater and khaki pants.

"Hello. Shirley, darling, don't force them," he said to his wife who was trying to place water glasses in the detective's hands. "What can we do for you Detectives?"

"We're here about your daughter, Melissa," said Kate, taking a seat on a well-worn chair.

"She's dead, isn't she?" asked Mr. Andrews. Mrs. Andrews gripped her husband's arm and buried her face into his shoulder. The husband rested a hand on her head, gently stroking it. Kate's heartstrings tugged as she saw the pure love between the two.

She squinted and shifted in her seat. "I'm very sorry for your loss. How did you know?"

"Detective Beckett, we've been waiting for this visit ever since she joined the CIA. Deep down, I think we always knew that we'd be here."

"What did you know about your daughter's life?"

"Not much," said Mrs. Andrews, wiping her eyes with her hand. "She was in the CIA, so she couldn't tell us about her job."

"Was there anyone special in her life?" asked Esposito.

"Our daughter – she was different. Not in a bad way, but just different."

"What do you mean, Mr. Andrews?"

"She had a girlfriend. Rory…what was her last name, Shirley?"

"Miller. Rory Miller. They'd been together for a couple of months. It seemed pretty serious. You don't think that's why she was murdered…because she was gay?"

"We're not sure at the moment. Do you know where we could find Ms. Miller?"

"Last I heard, she was a chemistry teacher at Stuyvesant High School on Chambers street downtown."

"Yes, I know it," said Kate. She was momentarily taken back to the days when she would make the half hour commute to get to school each morning.

"Was there any bad blood between them?" Esposito asked, taking a sip of the water.

"No, Rory was a great girl. We both really liked her," said Mr. Andrews, trading a look with his wife.

"Was there anyone in your daughter's life that might want her dead?"

"Not in the life that we knew. As I said, it was all cloak and daggers when it came to her work."

"I understand. Do you have the contact information for Rory Miller?"

"Of course," said Mrs. Andrews. "Let me get that for you." She stood and shuffled off down the hall and disappearing through a door.

"Detectives, Mel was one of the only things that Shirley truly cared about. She plays the housemother, but she's not really like that. She's deeply depressed. She's gotten better, but…"

"I'm very sorry." Kate was about to say more when Mrs. Andrews came back.

"Here you go, Detective."

"Thank you."

"Can I get you something before you leave?"

"No, thanks, we should be going. I'm sorry again for your loss. You have been nothing but hospitable."

"Well, you know where to find us," said Mr. Andrews, opening the door.

"What do you think?" asked Esposito as they went to Kate's unmarked.

"They're just loving parents. But we have to talk to the girlfriend."

* * *

><p>Alexis turned her key in the lock to the front door. She didn't see the customary crack of light shining through the door and was quite confused about why the lights were off. She felt her way along the wall, hoping to find the light switch, but there was a child safety box over it and she couldn't undo the latch in the dark. She walked through the apartment, knowing where to go by habit, looking for the switch to the lights in the kitchen. There was a similar box on those ones, too.<p>

"Dad?" she called, wondering where he was.

"In here, Grasshopper," Rick responded from somewhere around his office.

Alexis began to make her way to where she heard him. She cursed silently as her shin knocked into the low coffee table. _Ouch, I forgot we moved that,_ she thought. She was just about to make it to his office when she walked straight into a sheet that seemed to be suspended across his door.

"Argh, Dad, what is this?" she cried, batting her hands as if being attacked.

"I was thinking about what you said earlier," said Rick, flipping a switch so the lamp on his desk turned on. It emitted a yellowish glow that was hardly enough to light the apartment, but it threw him into silhouette. Suddenly, Alexis was faced with the shadow of her father sitting at his desk, holding something over his shoulder. "It has been a while since we've fought."

Before she could react, Alexis heard the all too familiar sound of the laser tag gun going off. She laughed and made her way into her father's office, placing her coat and purse on a chair.

She smiled at him, taking her vest and gun. "Thanks Dad, this is really nice."

"Well, I've pretty much exhausted my creative brains for today, and thought, why not? You ready?"

"Of course," said Alexis, leaping over the ottoman. She raced out of his office and weaved her way through the living room. She jumped momentarily when the piano suddenly began playing. _This is what I've been missing,_ she thought to herself as she hid behind one of the columns. It had been so long since they had battled, but Alexis was falling back into her former glory without a problem.

"I'm going to get you, Dr. Horrible," said Castle in a 'scary' voice.

"Really? Dr. Horrible? Isn't that cliché by now?" asked Alexis, pausing in the game. Ever since that internet phenomena occurred, that was the scenario they played out. Every time.

"It's not my fault that it's pure genius," defended Castle, also pausing in his attempts to shoot Alexis.

"You just like it because the good guy looks like you."

"He sounds like me, too."

"God, Dad, can your ego get any bigger?"

"Nah. If it did, I would insist you call me Captain Hammer."

"Isn't that what you're doing now?"

"I'd make you do it all the time."

"Ah," said Alexis. "Fine, then I suppose I'll play along. Again."

The smile on Rick's face couldn't have been bigger. "So, Dr. Horrible, we meet again."

"It seems so, Hammer. I will take you down."

"Oh, like you did that time when I stole your girl?"

"If I remember correctly, it was I who actually saved her."

"Right," Rick drawled, perfectly in character. Before Alexis knew what was going on, her father suddenly began singing _A Man's Gotta Do What a Man's Gotta Do_. She had no choice but to join in when it came her turn. They ran around the first floor of Castle's loft for a good hour, neither managing to get a hit in.

"You've gotten better," panted Rick as Alexis yet again evaded his laser.

"You've gotten worse," responded Alexis.

"Then why haven't you beaten me yet?"

"Because I'm having fun. Anyway, I know you'll forfeit soon...this has been a long battle."

Martha had retired after ten minutes and turned on the lights. Sometime during the scuffle, the lights had been knocked off again, but neither daughter nor father was complaining.

"Dr. Horrible always wins," said Alexis triumphantly as she took off her goggles and wiped sweat from her forehead. Rick was sitting on the couch, trying to catch his breath. His vest was blinking, indicating that he was hit.

"Captain Hammer is still better," he said. "Pumpkin, grab me a glass of water, please?"

Alexis went to the kitchen and poured two tall glasses of ice water. "Here, Dad," she said, handing it to him. He placed it on his forehead before taking a long sip.

"Thanks, sweetie."

"You're welcome. Dad," she began. "Thanks for this. It meant a lot."

"Of course, Alexis. I'm sorry that I've been preoccupied lately. I feel awful about it."

"It's okay, I understand."

"I know you do, but I want you to tell me when I'm falling off the deep end again. I want you to pull me back in."

"Sure thing. Now I really have to go study, but this was super fun."

"I'm glad."  
>Alexis placed a light kiss on her father's cheek as she got up to go to her room. Before she could stand, Rick captured her in a massive hug.<p>

"Ew, you smell bad. Go take a shower," she cried, struggling against his body mass.

"You're not smelling too peachy either, Kiddo. See you for dinner."

Rick watched as Alexis scurried upstairs to take a shower and get some of her work done. He was proud of her. She was more adult than him and Martha combined, and sometimes, he truly wondered where she got some of her genes from.

* * *

><p>Kate walked into the school and immediately began to feel a strong sense of déjà vu. It was obvious that it was occurring because Kate was walking down the halls of her alma mater. It had changed in the fourteen years since she had graduated. Everything looked newer, but there were still some things that looked as if they hadn't changed a bit.<p>

"We're going to room 109a," said Esposito, reading from a text message on his phone. He looked around and remarked, "Nice school."

Kate nodded. "It is," she agreed. "I have so many memories from here."

"You went here?"

"Sure did. I bet you wouldn't recognize me if you knew me then."

"What's that supposed to mean?" asked Esposito.

Kate gave her customary half smile and eye roll. "Oh, here's the room," she said, not so discreetly. She looked in the window and saw a young woman standing at the front of the class with a student. The students seemed to be making a presentation.

Esposito knocked on the door and the teacher looked at them. Kate flashed her badge and they saw the teacher say something to her students. She came out into the hall.

"Ms. Miller? I'm Detective Kate Beckett, NYPD, and this is Detective Javier Esposito. We have some questions about Melissa Andrews." said Kate, tucking her badge back into her coat pocket.

"Will it take long? I'm in the middle of an oral test," said Miller, glancing back at her students.

"Not long at all. When does class end?"

"In about fifteen minutes. Can we talk then?"

"Sure thing. Where would you like to meet?"

"My office is right next door. I'll see you then."

Kate nodded and tugged at Esposito's arm to get him to walk away with her. "So Espo, you want me to show you around?" He nodded excitedly, and Kate began to walk off.

"Come on, I'll show you where I spent most of my time."

They passed classrooms on either side with students looking very serious and engaged with the subject matter.

"Man, this school is intense," said Esposito, looking into another classroom.

"It's an accelerated school for science and math."

"You were a brainiac in high school?"

"Not exactly," said Kate. "See? This is where I spent most of my time."

"We're at the front office."

"Exactly."

"No…"

"Yes. I spent most of high school in detention or the principal's office."

"And you didn't get expelled?"

"No, because I still got straight A's."

"Man, you wouldn't have given me the time of day," said Esposito, looking at his boss in wonder. He was learning so much about her.

"I wouldn't be so sure of that," she answered cryptically. "Come, we should get back to the science wing."

They walked in silence, Kate letting out a sigh here or there. Esposito was still trying to wrap his head around the fact that the hardnosed, driven boss of his was a bad girl at school.

"Hi, sorry to keep you waiting," said Rory Miller, approaching them, carrying a large stack of textbooks and papers.

"Not a problem, Ms. Miller. Do you need some help?" asked Esposito.

"No thanks, but if you could open the door, that would be great."

They stepped into the small office and Rory placed her stuff on a filing cabinet. She took a seat at her desk and adjusted a stray pen, so it was facing the same way as the rest of them.

"How can I help you, Detectives," she asked, folding her hands in front of her.

"We're here about Melissa Andrews. What was your relationship with her?"

Rory's eyes shifted back and forth; it was clear that she was trying to decide how to answer the question. "I—we were…seeing each other."

"Were you romantically involved?"

"Yes, but…" Kate looked at the teacher expectantly. "We broke it off a while ago."

"Define a while?"

"A couple of years ago, I'd say."

"May I ask why?"

"She was going to some remote place in Africa to work on some dig type thing. She was mostly a cultural anthropologist, but she also held a degree in forensic anthropology. I don't know if you know, but there aren't very many of them, so she was called to help identify victims of a mass grave dating back centuries."

Kate glanced at Esposito, not quite sure how to tell this woman that her girlfriend had not even left the borough. "Ms. Miller," began Kate. Esposito had heard enough about Kate's ability to talk to families that he didn't even try to butt in. "I'm afraid we have some bad news."

"Oh my god," breathed Rory.

"Melissa Andrews was found murdered on Monday. We're very sorry for your loss."

"This is surreal," Rory said quietly, her eyes making unidentifiable shapes in the air. "I mean, we haven't talked in about three years, but I never stopped loving her. I mean, we were all set to get married, but then she got called away. I kept writing to her, but I never heard back. She's dead?"

"I know this is hard, but we have to ask you a couple questions."

"Of course, anything I can do to help."

"This might come as a bit of a shock to you, but did you know that Ms. Andrews was an agent with the CIA?"

"What? No, no. She was an anthropologist. She worked here. I mean, that's how we met."

"She was mostly a covert-ops agent," said Esposito, breaking in for the first time. "She worked here when she was not on a mission. For the past few years, she's been at Columbia University."

"You mean she didn't leave New York?"

"No, I'm sorry."

"Why would she lie?"

"We don't know. We found that Ms. Andrews, alias Daphne Johnson, had a boyfriend. Did you know about that?"

"Detective, I didn't even know that she was still in town. How could you think that I knew she had a boyfriend?"

"Where were you Monday between seven and eleven in the morning?"

"I was here. I get here every morning at seven-fifteen to prep for classes. I leave my apartment at six forty-five. There's a doorman, so you can check. You don't think I killed her, do you?"

"If your alibi checks out, then no. Otherwise, we'll have to consider it as an option."

Rory was about to answer when the door to her office opened.

"Hey, Ror. You ready?" asked a tall male.

"Just a sec, Carter. Detectives, this is my brother, Carter Miller."

"A pleasure to meet you, Mr. Miller," said Kate, standing up. Esposito followed suit. "Ms. Miller, please don't hesitate to call if you can think of anything."

"Of course. Thank you for coming down to talk to me."

Kate nodded and led Esposito out the door. As they headed down the hallway, they could hear the brother asking, "What was that about?"

* * *

><p>"Did you get anything out of the family?" asked Ryan as the pair returned to the precinct.<p>

"Apparently, our vic had a girlfriend in her old life. They broke up years ago, but she still has a strong motive. Ryan, could you please check out her alibi?"

Ryan nodded. "I didn't find anything new," he informed them.

"Can you please bring in Michael Eckleridge? I want to talk to him again."

Her team members nodded and Kate headed to the break room to get a cup of coffee. She also pulled out some left overs that had "Det. Beck" scribbled on the top of the white carton. She smelled them and decided that it wasn't spoiled. She stuck it onto a plate and placed it into the microwave. To be honest, she didn't even remember what it was, but it was food and that's all that really mattered.

A minute and a half later, she pulled the steaming, popping Chinese food out of the microwave and sat at the table with her cup of coffee.

Lunch used to be some food with Castle by her side to tell her a funny joke or to just have company. Since their fight, she ate alone, and people knew that. No one dared interrupt Kate while she was eating.

She took one bite of the steaming food and spit it out taking a long swig of coffee to wash the taste of spoiled hoisin sauce. "Uch," she said to herself, dumping the food in the garbage. Kate went back to the bull pen to get her coat, purse, gun, and badge.

"I'll be back. Eckleridge better be here," she called to her team, while pushing the button for the elevator.

She stepped out onto the street and arbitrarily turned left. She didn't like leaving the precinct for lunch, but sometimes, there wasn't another option.

Kate ate swiftly, not wanting to miss anything back at the 12th. Within twenty minutes, she was back at her desk, arranging some files to give to a uniform.

"Hey yo, Becket," said Esposito, coming over with a folder in hand. "Eckleridge is here. He's in Interrogation Two."

"Thanks, Espo," she said, taking the file from him and heading towards the interrogation room.

"Hello, Mr. Eckleridge," she said, sitting herself down across from the fidgeting teacher.

"Nice to see you again, Detective Beckett. Is there anything I can do to help?"

"Actually, I have some questions for you. Did you know that your girlfriend was in the CIA?"  
>"What?" asked Eckleridge, his eyebrows shooting up so far that they seemed to disappear under his bangs.<p>

"You girlfriend, Daphne Johnson, was actually Agent Melissa Andrews, were you aware of that?"

"What?" he asked again. "How could I have known? She was at Columbia for years."

"Did you know that she was gay?"

"Detective, this is a lot of new information at one time. You're basically telling me that everything I thought was true for the last couple of years is false. My girlfriend had a girlfriend, she was in the CIA, and Daphne wasn't her real name."

"Mr. Eckleridge, I'm going to ask you again. Where were you Monday between seven and eleven in the morning?"

"I told you, I was grading papers and meeting with students."

"And what about between two and two-forty-five in the afternoon?"

"I had office hours."

"Then why is there a little part of me that doesn't believe you?"

"Detective, I'm telling you the truth. You must have run down my alibi since last time we talked. You know just as well as I that I did not kill my girlfriend."

Kate stood and began making slow circles around Eckleridge. "You know, Mr. Eckleridge," she began. "I don't like it when people tell me what I do or do not know. You have to see it from our point of view. Melissa Andrews—"

"Please, her name was Daphne," Eckleridge almost begged.

"You're mistaken. Her name was Melissa Andrews. She had a girlfriend, but they broke up years ago. Her girlfriend didn't know that Melissa was back in town. You are our only viable suspect. You were romantically involved with my victim. So what if you found out that your Daphne Johnson was lying to you? What if you realized that she wasn't who you thought she was. We found her at the penguin tanks, Michael. You're favorite place. All the evidence is pointing towards you."

"No, I told you I didn't do it. You have to believe me."

"And why would that be?"

"Because I'm a Marine Biologist. You think I'll last a day in jail? No, I've worked too hard to get this career. No way would I risk it all for the girl."

"A girl who was _lying _to you about her identity and her life."

"No, I didn't do it."

"Michael Eckleridge, you are under arrest for the murder of Melissa Andrews," Kate began, taking out her handcuffs. She wasn't totally sure he did it, but she had enough to hold him, and the threat of actually being arrested sometimes helped criminals talk.

"No, I didn't do it," he kept saying, even as she closed the steel cuffs around his wrists.

"You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can and will be used against you in the court of law."

A uniform came in to take him away as Kate finished his Miranda Rights. 'You have the right to an attorney. If you cannot afford one, one will be provided for you."

Kate could hear him saying "I didn't do it" over and over as the uniformed officer took him to holding.

"So you really think he did it?" asked Ryan, coming out of observation with Esposito on his heel.

"I'm not sure, but we have enough to hold him. Maybe that will encourage him to talk."

"So what now? Should we start processing?" asked Esposito.

Before Kate could answer, Montgomery came up to them, looking to where Eckleridge was being led away by a uniform.

"Did you get your guy?" he asked in his calming way.

"Maybe. We still need to lock down a motive," answered Kate.

"What do you have so far?"

"Our vic was a CIA agent—"

"Too bad Castle isn't here. He's been waiting for CIA since day one," joked Montgomery, momentarily forgetting the current complications. He took one look at his head detective and regretted his words immediately.

Kate smiled, seeing the panic in her captain's eyes. It was unusual for him to slip up in that way, but she assumed that with the annual precinct reviews coming up, his mind was elsewhere. "It's okay, Sir. Anyway, we found that the vic had a girlfriend, but as the undercover agent, she had a boyfriend, Eckleridge. We're holding him on the murder, because he didn't know she was CIA or that she was gay, and therefore he could have figured out and killed her in a crime of passion."

"Do you have any solid evidence against him?"

"That's the problem, Sir. We have enough to hold, but I'm not sure we have enough to prosecute."

"I see. Well I suggest going back to the CIA and question her commander. You never know what you might turn up."

"Okay, Sir, thank you, Sir," said Kate, nodding her head. Montgomery headed back to his office and Kate turned to her two team members.

"Who wants to come with me to the CIA?" she asked. Ryan and Esposito looked at each other, and under some unspoken agreement, they both tucked the folders they were holding under their arms and held out their fists, intending to begin a rocks-paper-scissors battle. Kate rolled her eyes at their immaturity. "Am I that unpleasant to be around?" she asked.

They looked at her for a moment before shaking their fists three times. Both the detectives held out scissors. They tried again. Rocks. They tried once more. Paper.

"One more time," said Ryan, re-tucking his folder. One, two, three, rocks.

"For crying out loud, Esposito, you're with me. Ryan, start processing Eckleridge's paperwork. Get all the evidence we have together and start filing for the DA."

Ryan and Esposito looked at each other forlornly, before Esposito turned to follow Kate. Just as the elevator rang, indicating it was at their floor, Esposito shook his fist at Ryan who reciprocated. Both scissors. What were the odds?

* * *

><p>Rick finished making himself a hearty lunch filled with mashed potatoes, pizza, and pasta.<p>

"Really, Richard, you should try to eat a little healthier," said Martha, descending from the second floor, reaching for a glass of wine.

"Says the woman who's intake each day is five glasses of wine, and a piece of fruit."

Martha smacked him in the head with the rolled up magazine she was carrying. "How is your day going, Darling?"

"Slow. Still working on the outline for _Taking Heat_."

"It really is a brilliant title."

"Right?" asked Rick, a child-like smile illuminating his face. "It just came to me."

"Genius always does," said Martha wisely.

Rick inclined his head to her and lifted his water glass to clink with her wine glass.

"I'm going out to a function, so don't wait up."

"Wouldn't dream of it," said Rick, giving his mother a light peck on the cheek.

"Bye, Darling," Martha said, closing the door behind her. Rick finished his water in two sips and placed his glass in the dishwasher. He made his way back to his study, but his eye got caught on a slip of paper sitting on the coffee table, slightly obstructed by his coffee table books. Being the snoop he was, Rick picked up the paper and saw a number. There was no name, but the paper looked and felt old. It was crinkled, as if it had been crumpled and un-crumpled many times. The ink was beginning to fade, but Rick recognized it as his mother's handwriting.

He sat on the couch, holding the number between his hands. He wondered who it belonged to. Who would answer if he called it? Why had his mother kept it for so long? Why did it look like it had been kept in a wallet for years, taken out occasionally, only to be crumpled in indecision? He wondered where it had been, what it had experienced, what brought his mother to write down this number and keep it for years. It looked like the kind of paper that could be thrown out in the next day's trash. And why was it hidden? Rick pondered many different scenarios. He must have sat with the slip of paper for an hour. He knew his mother had had a lot of different lovers over the years (ew), but what made this one special? What warranted this number to be kept over the years? What made it different from all the other numbers?

Rick was about to put it back where he found it and continue with Nikki Heat when it hit him. Could it be his father's? Could that be why it was kept for so many years? Could that be why it looked so rumpled? Because Martha had debated calling him and telling him he had a son?

Suddenly, Rick dropped the slip of paper as if it had burned him. He didn't want to know, did he? He was happy not knowing. When he didn't know, his father could be anyone. He didn't want to ruin that illusion. What if his father didn't hold up to his expectations? What if his father was a criminal? Worst of all, what if he was dead?

Rick began pacing, running his hand through his hair. He had a couple options. He could leave the paper where he found it and forget about it. He could call the number for himself and find out who was at the other end. But what would he say? Hello, my name is Richard Castle. I found your number under a book, and I just wanted to call to ask if you were my father. No, that wouldn't do. And even so, how would be introduce himself? Richard Castle? Richard Rogers? He wasn't really Richard Rogers anymore, but maybe he wanted to be. Did Kate make him want to be more like Richard Rogers? Was he ever Richard Castle? Was that just an alias he made up for writing because it was more dramatic? Was he really ever that persona. No, this slip of paper brought up far too many questions that he didn't know how to, nor did he want to, deal with.

And then there was the final option. Call someone from the precinct, and asked them to run it down for him. But would they talk to him, after what he said to Kate? He knew how protective they were of her.

Kate. Another issue entirely. He knew he said that he would wait for her to come to him this time, but being apart was killing him. It drove him insane to know that he couldn't go back to the precinct. It was making him go stir crazy that he couldn't drive to her apartment with some consolation Chinese food and be done with it. He couldn't let himself think about how she was feeling. If he opened that door, then he would feel too guilty to wait out their fight. He knew they had many issues to get through before they could be happy, and that scared him. He knew, rationally, that it shouldn't, but he had never felt this way with Kate. He even considered changing his name back to Richard Rogers for her. They could be the Rogers', not the Castles. But that was only a figment of his dreams. It would never truly work out. But he couldn't deny that Kate Rogers sounded nicer than Kate Castle. Too many 'kuh's. But he was really jumping the gun. It would be years before they got married, _if_ they got married at all.

Rick didn't know what to do. His thoughts had strayed so far from the slip of paper that it was completely possible for him to put it back and retreat to his bed, lie down, and ponder his improbable future with Kate. Was that what he wanted? To forget what he found today? Part of his said yes, and part of him said no. He knew that he wouldn't stop thinking about the phone number, now that it was possibility of being his father. All his life, he had assumed that he didn't want to know, but when presented with the situation in which he could find out, there was something irrevocably tugging at him to call Esposito. Rick knew there was no way he could call the number himself, and he also knew that Esposito would be more willing to help him.

Before he could chicken out, Rick pulled out his phone and dialed Esposito's number.

* * *

><p>Esposito was in the car with Kate on the way to the CIA office. He was excited to go, because Ryan had told him about how ridiculous security was. He jumped slightly when his phone started ringing, and Kate glanced at him. He fished it out of his pocket and saw that the caller ID said that Castle was calling. He looked at Kate, and seeing that she was completely focused on the road, he answered the phone.<p>

"Esposito."

"Hey, can you talk?" asked Castle.

Esposito glanced at Kate once more before answering. "Sure, but not for long."

"Great. Um…I was wondering if you could run down a phone number for me."

"What?"

"You know, plug in the ten digits, wait while the computer finds a match and run a background check on the guy."

"Why would I do that?"

"Because I think this number belongs to my father."

Esposito was silent. He was glad that Kate couldn't hear his conversation. He saw her chance a glance at him while they were at a red light. She furrowed her brow, indicating she wanted to know who was on the phone. Esposito waved it off, and before Kate could pry further, the light turned green, and she was being honked at.

"You still there, man?" asked Castle.

"Are you sure?"

"No, but I'd like to know."

"I'm not sure…" said Esposito, keeping himself from saying Castle's name.

"Please? I…I just need to know."

Esposito hadn't heard Castle sound so helpless in a long time. This was the first time that Castle sounded genuinely helpless – all the other times had just been so he could get Kate's attention.

The detective sighed and said, "Fine. Hang on while I get a pen."

He poked Kate who nearly hit another driver. She sent him a death glare, but he just mimed writing. She rolled her eyes, and without taking her eyes from the road, she reached over and pulled a pen and pad from the glove compartment. The ease with which she pulled the utensils made Esposito wonder how many times in the past she had done that.

"What's the number?" asked Esposito, propping the paper on this thigh.

Castle rattled off the digits and thanked the detective. Esposito hung up the phone and placed the piece of paper into his chest pocket.

"What was that about?" asked Kate.

"Nothing, just some personal business," muttered Esposito, not meeting her eyes.

"Uh huh," she said, not believing him in the slightest. She would get it out of him.

"Oh look, here we are," he told her, nearly jumping from the car the moment she pulled in into 'park.'

Kate didn't even listen when the receptionist tried to stop them again. She just rang the bell for the elevator, ignoring the cold woman's protests.

"Don't look back," she warned Esposito. He didn't argue and followed her into the elevator.

The stepped out and Kate muttered, "Just so you know, they ask us ridiculous questions. Get ready to answer."

Esposito nodded and pressed the doorbell.

"Yes?" came a voice.

"Detectives Beckett and Esposito, here to talk to Agent Harrison," said Kate, doing her best to sound bored.

"Ah, welcome back Detective, please come in."

"That wasn't so bad," whispered Esposito as they passed through.

"That wasn't, but this is," answered Kate, pushing the button near the microphone.

"Please place your badges and driver's licenses on the scanner," said the woman is a bored tone. The two detectives fished out the required identification. "Detective Beckett, what was the date of your mother's murder?"

Kate sighed. _Here we go_, she thought. "January ninth, nineteen-ninety-nine."

"Detective Esposito, what happened to you when you came back from combat and you were out drinking with your buddies?"

"I hid under the table, thinking we were back under attack."

"Thank you, that will be all. Agent Harrison will be by to meet you momentarily."

Esposito looked at Kate, who looked just as shaken as he did. "Sorry, Javi, last time, they asked us about our call numbers."

"It's okay. I just don't really like to think about it."

Kate opened her mouth to respond but was cut off when Agent Harrison came to meet them.

"Ah, Detective Beckett, how nice to see you again."

Esposito had heard about her prior experience with the agent, and before Harrison could say anything else, Esposito thought it would be an opportune time to introduce himself. "Detective Esposito."

"A pleasure. Now what can I help you with today?"

"We were wondering if there was anything else you could tell us about Melissa Andrews."

"Like what?" asked Harrison, pouring himself a cup of coffee. He raised his glass, silently asking if the detectives wanted any. Kate shook her head and muttered a 'no thank you,' while Esposito just gave a curt shake of his head.

"What was she like at work? What was her working relationships like?"

"She was one of the best agents we had," said Harrison, standing to look out the panoramic view of the water. "She was diligent and kind. I remember when she came for her job interview. We were all impressed with her level of cognitive testing. She scored off the charts."

"Was there tension between her and any of the other agents?"

"Not that I know of. She had a partner when she first started, and they had a fallout. She requested to be reassigned."

"I'm going to need the name of that partner."

"No need, Detective, he was killed in the line of duty years ago."

"Anything else you can tell us?" asked Esposito.

"No, not that I can think of."

Kate nodded and turned to leave. Just when they reached the door, she heard two agents coming down the hall. She caught a snippet of their conversation, and what she heard troubled her.

"Yes, I heard that he got into a fight recently," said the first agent.

"No way. I always though Agent Miller was so level headed," the second agent responded.

"You know Carter…you think one thing, but one false move, and he's on you like a cheetah."

The detectives' ears perked up when they heard Carter Miller.

"Just a moment, Agent Harrison," said Kate, turning back to the CIA personnel.

"What can I do for you?"

"What can you tell me about Agent Carter Miller?"

"Why?"

"Because we think he might have something to do with our murder investigation," explained Esposito.

"I'm sorry, Detective, due to the sensitive nature of our agent's knowledge, we cannot talk about them unless there is probably cause."

"I think being a suspect in a murder investigation is probable cause," said Kate, coolly.

"And how is Agent Miller connected to your murder?"

"Well, due to the sensitive nature of our murder investigations, I do not have to tell you. Now please, before I have to get a court order. What can you tell me about Agent Carter Miller?"

Esposito looked at Kate in wonder. He had been working as a cop for years and he was special forces before that, but Kate had a toughness that could only be created through an intense, personal drive to give the victims justice. And he wasn't embarrassed to say it. He was a normal man. Seeing Kate strike someone down verbally was kind of hot. But he had Lanie.

Harrison sighed. He didn't want to tell the police about Miller, but apparently he didn't have a choice.

"Agent Miller is a fantastic asset to the CIA. He is smart, loyal, and he cares."

"So why did that agent say that even though he was level headed, if you provoked him, he would pounce?"

"Miller was known for his passion. His drive. Yet, just like anyone who cares too much, if you do something that he does not approve of, he can become violent."

"I see. And where is he now?"

"That I cannot tell you, Detective."

"Fine, we'll just find out another way. Good day, Agent Harrison."

Kate led the way out of the office, intending to call Rory Miller to find out the whereabouts of her brother. Esposito followed, giving Agent Harrison one last glare.

"Do you want me to call Ms. Miller?" asked Esposito.

"Yeah, that would be great. I'm going to call Ryan and find out if he verified Eckleridge's alibi. If so, we'll have to cut him loose."

In the car, Kate and Esposito made their respective phone calls. It turned out that Mr. Miller was at his apartment with his girlfriend in Chelsea, and Ryan confirmed that Eckleridge could not have killed or disposed of Melissa Andrews' body.

"Fine," said Kate, pulling into traffic. "Process him out. We have a new suspect now."

**I hope it was worth the wait. It nearly killed me that this took so long. The next chapter will be up ASAP. I love all reviews...they make me happy. Thank you especially to Natalie1988 for PMing me and encouraging me to finish this.**

**We've got A LOT left, so don't stop reading now. Thanks! And have a great week!  
>Mangotango101 <strong>


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